英语超简单简短小笑话.docx

1、英语超简单简短小笑话英语超简单简短小笑话篇一：超简短的5个英文笑话超简短的5个英文笑话1.Teacher:whoeveranswersmynextquestion,cangohome.老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。oneboythrowshisbagoutthewindow.一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。Teacher:whojustthrewthat?!老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?boy:me!Imgoinghomenow.男孩：我!我现在要回家了。2.whatdogcanjumphigherthanabuilding?什么狗比大楼跳的还高?Anydog,buildingscant

2、jump!任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。3.whathasahead,atail,andnobody?什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体?Acoin!硬币。4.whathasoneeyebutcannotsee?什么有一只眼睛，却看不见?Aneedle.针。5.wife:howwouldyoudescribeme?妻子：你会怎么形容我呢?husband:AbcDeFghIJK.丈夫：AbcDeFghIJK.wife:whatdoesthatmean?妻子：那是什么意思?husband:Adorable,beautiful,cute,delightful,elegant,fashionable,gorg

3、eous,andhot.丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。wife:Aw,thankyou,butwhataboutIJK?妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?husband:Imjustkidding!丈夫：开个玩笑!篇二：简单英语小笑话heisreallysomebody-myunclehas1000menunderhim.-heisreallysomebody.whatdoeshedo?-Amaintenancemaninacemetery.他真是一个大人物-我叔叔下面有1000个人。-他真是一个大人物。干什么的？-墓地守墓人。mylitt

4、ledogcantreadmrs.brown:oh,mydear,Ihavelostmypreciouslittledog!mrs.smith:butyoumustputanadvertisementinthenewspapers!mrs.brown:Itsnouse,mylittledogcantread.我的狗不识字布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”bringmethewinner-waiter,thislobsterhasonlyoneclaw.-Imsorry,sir.Itmusthavebeeni

5、nafight.-well,bringmethewinnerthen.给我那个打赢的吧-服务员，这个龙虾只有一只爪。-对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。-哦，那给我那个打赢的吧。goodboyLittleRobertaskedhismotherfortwocents.whatdidyoudowiththemoneyIgaveyouyesterday?Igaveittoapooroldwoman,heanswered.Youreagoodboy,saidthemotherproudly.herearetwocentsmore.butwhyareyousointerestedintheoldwoma

6、n?sheistheonewhosellsthecandy.好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”“她是个卖糖果的。”Jimshistoryexaminationuncle:howdidJimdoinhishistoryexamination?mother:oh,notatallwell,butthere,itwasnthisfault.Theyaskedhimthingsthathappenedbeforethepoorboywasborn.吉姆的历

7、史考试舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？母亲：唉，糟透了。可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。嗨，他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。1.hewonTommy:howisyourlittlebrother,Johnny?Johnny:heisillinbed.hehurthimself.Tommy:Thatstoobad.howdidthathappen?Johnny:weplayedwhocouldleanfurthestoutofthewindow,andhewon.他赢了汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗

8、外最远，他赢了。篇三：短篇英语笑话10则带翻译短篇英语笑话10则带翻译goldfish金鱼stan:Iwon92goldfish.Fred:whereareyougoingtokeepthem?stan:Inthebathroom。Fred:butwhatwillyoudowhenyouwanttotakeabath?stan:blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!=斯丹：我赢了92条金鱼。弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？斯丹：浴室。弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！TheRevenge欺骗的代价oldFarmerJohnsonwasdying.Thefamilywasstandi

9、ngaroundhisbed.withalowvoicehesaidtohiswife:whenImdeadIwantyoutomarryfarmerJones.wife:no,Icantmarryanyoneafteryou.Johnson:butIwantyouto.wife:butwhy?Johnson:Jonesoncecheatedmeinahorsedeal!=老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。”妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。”约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。”妻子：“为什么？”约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中

10、欺骗了我。”IthinkthatImachicken我想我是一只鸡psychiatrist:whatsyourproblem?patient:IthinkImachicken.psychiatrist:howlonghasthisbeengoingon?patient:eversinceIwasanegg!=精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？病人：我认为我是一只鸡。精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。howdoIgetthegumout我怎么把口香糖取出来Distributingchewinggumtothepassengers,thestewardessexplai

11、neditwastokeeptheirearsfrompopping.whentheplanelanded,oneofthepassengersrusheduptoherandsaid,Immeetingmywiferightaway.howdoIgetthegumoutfrommyears?=当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”whereAmI我在哪儿Anenglishmanlosthiswaywhilehewasdrivinginthecount

12、ryside.hesawafarmerworkinginthefieldnearby,sohewentnearerinhiscarandaskedthefarmer,excuseme,canyoutellmewhereIam?Yes,thefarmerlookedathimstrangelyandsaid,youareinyourcar,sir.=一个英国人在乡下开车时迷了路，他看见一个农民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把车开过去问那位农民：“劳驾，您能告诉我我现在这是在哪儿吗？”“可以。”农夫奇怪地看了看他，然后说道：“你现在在你的车子里，先生。”whydoyouneverphoneme?你为

13、什么不给我打电话？mrsharrislivesinasmallvillage.herhusbandisdead,butshehasoneson.heistwenty-oneandhisnameisgeoff.heworkedintheshopinthevillageandlivedwithhismother,butthenhegotworkinatownandwentantlivedthere.Itsnamewasgreensea.Itwasquitealongwayfromhismothersvillage,andshewasnothappyaboutthis,butgeoffsaid,Th

14、ereisntanygoodworkformeinthecountry,mother,andIcangetalotofmoneyingreenseaandsendyousomeeveryweek.mrsharriswasveryangrylastsunday.shegotinatrainandwenttohersonshouseingreensea.Thenshesaidtohim,geoff,whydoyouneverphoneme?geofflaughed.but,mother,hesaid,youhaventgotaphone.no,sheanswered,Ihavent,butYouV

15、egotone!=我会告诉你这篇没有中文翻译吗。ThesameActionYieldsthesameResult相同的投资相同的结果Acoupleofhunterscharteredasmallplanetoflythemtoaforest,andmadeanappointmentwiththepilottocomebackandfetchtheminabouttwoweeks.Attheendofthetwoweeks,theyhadshotalotofanimalsthattheywantedtoloadontotheplane.butthepilotsaid,Thisplanewontb

16、eabletotakemorethanonewildbuffalo.Youllhavetoleavetheothersbehind.Thenthehuntersprotested,saying,butlastyear,anotherpilotwiththesameairplaneletustaketwobuffalosandsomeotheranimalsintheplaneaswell.sothenewpilotthoughtaboutit.hewasalittlebitskeptical,butfinallyhesaid,oK,sinceyoudiditlastyear,Iguessthi

17、syearwecandoitagain.Thenheloadedthetwobuffalosandafewotheranimalsin,andtheplanetookoff.Fiveminuteslater,itcrashedinaneighboringarea.Thethreemenclimbedoutandlookedaround,andonehuntersaidtotheother,wheredoyouthinkwearenow?Thesecondonesurveyedtheareaandsaid,Ithinkwereaboutonemiletotheleftoftheplacewecrashedlastyear.