1、 outside who got drunk and now cant remember why he chose I Love Ken. The racial hair-dressers where everyone comes out looking like the Cookie Monster, whether they like it or not. Sure enough, a girl exits with a huge threaded blue bouffant. EXT. PORTOBELLO ROAD - SATURDAY Then suddenly its the we
2、ekend, and from break of day, hundreds of stalls appears out of nowhere, filling Portobello Road right up to Notting Hill Gate. A frantic crowded Portobello market. . and thousands of people buy millions of antiques, some genuine. The camera finally settles on a stall selling beautiful stained glass
3、 windows of various sizes, some featuring biblical scenes and saints. . and some not so genuine. EXT. GOLBORNE ROAD - DAY And whats great is that lots of friends have ended up in this part of London - thats Tony, architect turned chef, who recently invested all the money he ever earned in a new rest
4、aurant. Shot of Tony proudly setting out a board outside his restaurant, the sign still being painted. He receives and approves a huge fresh salmon. So this is where I spend my days and years - in this small village in the middle of a city - in a house with a blue door that my wife and I bought toge
5、ther. before she left me for a man who looked like Harrison Ford, only even handsomer. We arrive outside his blue-doored house just off Portobello. . and where I now lead a strange half-life with a lodger called. INT. WILLIAMS HOUSE - DAY WILLIAM Spike! The house has far too many things in it. Defin
6、itely two- bachelor flat. Spike appears. An unusual looking fellow. He has unusual hair, unusual facial hair and an unusual Welsh accent: very white, as though his flesh has never seen the sun. He wears only shorts. SPIKE Even he. Hey, you couldnt help me with an incredibly important decision, could
7、 you? This is important in comparison to, lets say, whether they should cancel third world debt? Thats right - Im at last going out on a date with the great Janine and I just want to be sure Ive picked the right t-shirt. What are the choices? Well. wait for it. (He pulls on a t-shirt) First theres t
8、his one. The t-shirt is white with a horrible looking plastic alien coming out of it, jaws open, blood everywhere. It says I Love Blood. Yes - might make it hard to strike a really romantic note. Point taken. He heads back up the stairs. talks as he changes. I suspect youll prefer the next one. And
9、he re-enters in a white t-shirt, with a large arrow, pointing down to his flies, saying, Get It Here. Cool, huh? Yes - she might think you dont have true love on your mind. Wouldnt want that. (and back up he goes) Okay - just one more. He comes down wearing it. Lots of hearts, saying, Youre the most
10、 beautiful woman in the world. Well, yes, thats perfect. Well done. Thanks. Great. Wish me luck. Good luck. Spike turns and walks upstairs proudly. Revealing that on the back of the t-shirt, also printed in big letters, is written Fancy a fuck? And so it was just another hopeless Wednesday, as I set
11、 off through the market to work, little suspecting that this was the day which would change my life forever. This is work, by the way, my little travel book shop. A small unpretentious store. named The Travel Book Co. . which, well, sells travel books - and, to be frank with you, doesn always sell m
12、any of those. William enters. INT. THE BOOKSHOP - DAY It is a small shop, slightly chaotic, bookshelves everywhere, with little secret bits round corners with even more books. Martin, Williams sole employee, is waiting enthusiastically. He is very keen, an uncrushable optimist. Perhaps without cause
13、. A few seconds later, William stands gloomily behind the desk. Classic. Absolutely classic. Profit from major sales push - minus _$B!r_(J347. MARTIN Shall I go get a cappuccino? Ease the pain. Yes, better get me a half. All I can afford. MARIN I get your logic. Demi-capu coming up. He salutes and b
14、olts out the door - as he does, a woman walks in. We only just glimpse her. Cut to William working. He looks up casually. And sees something. His reaction is hard to read. After a pause. Can I help you? It is Anna Scott, the biggest movie star in the world - here - in his shop. The most divine, subt
15、le, beautiful woman on earth. When she speaks she is very self-assured and self-contained. ANNA No, thanks. Ill just look around. Fine. She wanders over to a shelf as he watches her - and picks out a quite smart coffee table book. That books really not good - just in case, you know, browsing turned
16、to buying. Youd be wasting your money. Really? Yes. This one though is. very good. He picks up a book on the counter. I think the man who wrote it has actually been to Turkey, which helps.s also a very amusing incident with a kebab. Thanks. Ill think about it. William suddenly spies something odd on
17、 the small TV monitor beside him. If you could just give me a second. Her eyes follow him as he moves toward the back of the shop and approaches a man in slightly ill-fitting clothes. Excuse me. THIEF Yes. Bad news. What? Weve got a security camera in this bit of the shop. So? So, I saw you put that
18、 book down your trousers. What book? The one down your trousers. I havent got a book down my trousers. Right - well, then we have something of an impasse. I tell you what - Ill call the police - and, what can I say? - If Im wrong about the whole book-down-the-trousers scenario, I really apologize. O
19、kay - what if I did have a book down my trousers? Well, ideally, when I went back to the desk, youd remove the Cadogan guide to Bali from your trousers, and either wipe it and put it back, or buy it. See you in a sec. He returns to his desk. In the monitor we just glimpse, as does William, the book
20、coming out of the trousers and put back on the shelves. The thief drifts out towards the door. Anna, who has observed all this, is looking at a blue book on the counter. Sorry about that. No, thats fine. I was going to steal one myself but now Ive changed my mind. Signed by the author, I see. Yes, w
21、e couldnt stop him. If you can find an unsigned copy, its worth an absolute fortune. She smiles. Suddenly the thief is there. Can I have your autograph? Whats your name? Rufus. She signs his scruffy piece of paper. He tries to read it. What does it say? Well, thats the signature - and above, it says
22、 Dear Rufus - you belong in jail. Nice one. Would you like my phone number? Tempting but. no, thank you. Thief leaves. I think I will try this one. She hands William a _$B!r_(J20 note and the book he said was rubbish. He talks as he handles the transaction. Oh - right - on second thoughts maybe it w
23、asnt that bad. Actually - its a sort of masterpiece really. None of those childish kebab stories you get in so many travel books these days. And Ill throw in one of these for free. He drops in one of the signed books. Very useful for lighting fires, wrapping fish, that sort of things. She looks at h
24、im with a slight smile. Thanks. And leaves. Shes out of his life forever. William is a little dazed. Seconds later Martin comes back in. Cappuccino as ordered. Thanks. I dont think youll believe who was just in here. Who? Someone famous? But Williams innate natural English discretion takes over. No. No-one - no-one. They set about drinking their coffees. Would b
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