South Park711.docx

South Park711.docx

《South Park711.docx》由会员分享，可在线阅读，更多相关《South Park711.docx（34页珍藏版）》请在冰点文库上搜索。

SouthPark711

SouthPark

7.11-CasaBonita

[Stan'shouse,day.Stan,Kenny,andCartmanwatchTVfromthecouch.Cartmaniseatingabowlofchips]

Stan:

Dude,IwonderwhereKyleis.

Cartman:

Maybehecaughtadiseaseanddied.That'dbesoawesome.

Stan:

Dudethat'snotfunny.Youshouldn'tjokeaboutthat.

Kenny:

（Yeah.）

Cartman:

Who'sjoking?

[adooropensandclosesoffscreen]

Kyle:

[entersexcitedly,hisarmsupintheair]Youguys!

Youguys!

Ihaveawesomenews!

Cartman:

YouhaveAIDS?

Kyle:

No.ThisSaturday,formybirthday,myMomsaysshe'stakin'metoCasaBonita,inDenver,andIgettoinvitethreefriends!

.

Cartman:

[standsup]Wow!

CasaBonita?

!

Kenny:

[standsup]（Woohoo!

）

Stan:

[standsup]What'sCasaBonita?

Cartman:

Dude,haven'tyoueverbeenthere?

!

It'sabigMexicanrestaurantwheretheyhave,like,cliffjumpersandBlackBart'sCaveand[holdsouthishandwide]allkindsofstuff!

Kyle:

It'sliketheDisneylandofMexicanrestaurants.

Cartman:

ThisSaturday!

Awesone!

[beginstosingto"LaCucaracha"]CasaBonita!

CasaBonita!

Foodandfuninafestiveatmosphere.[beginstosmaphisfingers]CasaBonita!

Kyle:

WhosaidI'minvitingyou?

[thisfreezesCartmanforafewseconds]

Cartman:

You...yourMomsaidyoucouldtakethreefriends.

Kyle:

Yes.Threefriends.You'renotmyfriend.

Cartman:

Wuhihuh...Wehcomeon,Kyle,whothehellelseareyougonnatakebesidesStanandKenny?

Kyle:

I'mgonnatakeButters.Heinvitedmetohisbirthdaypartylastmonth,soIowehimone.

Cartman:

Butters?

!

You'regonnatakeTHATbutthole?

!

Why?

!

Kyle:

BecauseButtersisn'tatotaldicktome!

Cartman:

Ihaveneverbeenadicktoyou.

Kyle:

[rollshiseyes]Ohplease!

AllyoueverdoiscallmenamesandriponmeforbeingJewish!

Cartman:

Kyle,whenhaveIeverrippedonyouforbeingaJew?

Kyle:

[thinksbackandcountsthenumberoftimesCartmanhasrippedonhimforbeingaJew]

[intheplayground.CraigisthereinsteadofKenny]Ohyeah?

!

Wellyou'reastupidJew!

[intheplayground,bytheschool'sbackdoors]You'reaJew!

[inCartman'sroom.Cartmaniswearingacrown]ShutyourGod-damnedJewmouth!

[atKyle'shouse,onthefrontsteps]Goodjob,Jew!

[singingtheDreidlsongwithKyle'sfamilyandStan]Jew...

[leavinghisseatinclass]ShutupJew!

[atCartman'shouse,withoutfits]You'reJewish!

!

[seatedonacurbwiththeotherboys]Dude,he'sJewish!

[stakingoutahouse]Jew!

[onNightline,seatednexttoStan]Jew!

[inCartman'sdiningroom]Jew!

[atthesideofaroad,withTweekandwiththeirparents]Jew!

[nexttostacksoflumber,asKyleisabouttowhackhim]Jew!

[atabarn,throughaholeontheroof]Jew!

[Stan'sroom.KylereadsaBible]Jew?

!

[AttheCostaRicanrainforest,duringpractice]"ItoldyouJewishpeopledon'thaverhythm.""Fuckoff,Cartman"

Cartman:

[Cartmanthinksbackaswell]Okay,exceptmaybeforthatonetime.

Kyle:

You'vealwaysbeenadicktome,Cartman,andI'mnotinvitingyou.[turnsandwalksaway,butCartmanstaysclose]

Cartman:

Kyle,youdon'tunderstand!

CasaBonitaismymostfavoriteplace[Kyleturnsaround]inthewholeworld.I'lljust,I'lljustdieifyoudon'ttakeme!

Please!

[holdshishandstogetherinasignofpleading]

Kyle:

[crosseshisarmsandavoidsCartman'seyes]Sorry,mymind'smadeup.

Cartman:

[turnsirateandflipshimoff]Wellfuckyou,Kyle!

!

Idon'twannagotoyourfaggybirthdaypartyanyway!

I'dmuchratherhangoutathomethanhavetobearoundyouandyourJewmomforaday!

[shovesthemiddlefingerclosetoKyle'sface]Kissmyball,asshole!

!

[turnsandwalksaway.Thefrontdooropens,closes,andopensagain.Cartmanreturnsandapologizes]Dude,Itotallydidn'tmeanthat,Kyle.AhIreallyreallywannagotoCasaBonita.I'msorrywehadthatfightjustnow.Youknow,Imean,Isaidsomethings,yousaidsomethings,but,Ithinkitwasgoodandwewe'vemovedpastit.

Kyle:

I'mnotinvitingyoutoCasaBonita.

Cartman:

[turnsirateandflipshimoff]Wellfuckyou,Kyle!

!

Ihopeyoudie!

Ihopeyoufuckingdie!

[turnsandwalksaway.Thefrontdooropens,thencloses]

[Cartman'shouse,night.Cartmansleeps...]

Cartman:

CasaBonita!

Comeon,youguys!

[wavesthemon.Nextsceneishimgettingalargeplatteroffood]Oh,awesome!

!

[nextsceneishimwavinghisfriendstoacave]Comeon,youguys!

BlackBart'sCave!

[nextsceneishimbyawaterfall]Wow,cliffdivers!

[acliffdivertakesadivefromthetopofthewaterfall.NextsceneisCartmanonhisthirddish]Moresopapillas,please!

[nextscenehashimdancinginfrontofalowstage,onwhichamariachiquartetplaysitssongs.AnimageofKylefloatsthroughhisdream]

Kyle:

I'mnotinvitingyou,Cartman.Youcan'tgo.

Cartman:

[withmorefoodsonhisplates,thedreamdissolves.He'spulledupandaway]No!

Noooo!

[he'spulledoutofCasaBonitaandfloatsaway]CasaBonita!

Noooo!

[startledoutofhisdream]AAAAH!

!

[catcheshisbreath]Oh...God-damnit,Ihavetogetinvitedtogo!

I'mjustgonnahavetostartbeingnicetoKyle!

[Kyle'shouse,nextday.Cartmanapproachesthefrontdoorinanicesweaterandringsthebell.Kyleanswers]

Cartman:

[lookingquitepresentable]HiKyle.[smiles]

Kyle:

[studiesCartmanabit,butisn'timpressed]Thatisn'tit,Cartman.

Cartman:

Whatisn'tit?

Kyle:

That'snotbeingnice!

That'sjustputtingonanicesweater!

Cartman:

...Idon'tunderstandthedifference.

Kyle:

Iknowyoudon't.[stepsbackandslamsthedooronCartman'sface]

[SouthParkElementary,day.Thekidsheadforclass:

Bill,Craig,Wendy,thenJimmy.Cartmanentersandroundsthecorner,seesJimmyandrunsuptohim]

Cartman:

Jimmy!

HeyJimmy,waitup!

[JordanandRedwalkbyatthefarendofthehall.Jimmystops]Dude,uhIneedyourhelponsomething.

Jimmy:

Well,sure,Eric.W-w-wahtseemstobethep-p-p-prrroblem?

Cartman:

Well,everybodylikesyou,Jimmy,a-andyouseemtobereallygoodwithpeople,so,Iwaswonderingifyoucouldtellme,how"do"youactnicetopeople?

Jimmy:

Well,thebestthingisnottoactnice,Eric.Uh,thebestthingistobegenuinelynice.

Cartman:

Okay,sohowdoyouactgenuinelynicetopeople?

Jimmy:

Well,Eric,pahpartofbeingniceisjustmakingpeoplesmileandlaugh.Thebestwaytodothatisbytellingafan-tasticjokeorahumoriusanti-d-ant'duhh...antecdote.

Cartman:

Likewhat?

Jimmy:

Well,like,trythisoneonforsize:

Knockknock.

Cartman:

Who'sthere?

Jimmy:

Ing-mar...Bergman.[Cartmanjumps,butnotbecauseofthejoke.Kyleapproachesthemfromtheotherendofthehall.]Nowyousay,"IngmarBergmanwho?

"[CartmanquicklypunchesJimmyintheface]

Cartman:

Takethat,Jimmy!

[strikeshimagain,andJimmyfallsaway]Andthat!

Anddon'tyouevertalkbadaboutKyleagain!

[Kylestopsbyandlooks.Cartmanglancesathim]Kyleismyfriend!

Andifyousayyouhadsexwithhismomonemoretime,I'mgonnareallyletyouhaveit!

Youhearme?

!

[looksatKyle]Oh,Kyle.Hey.

Kyle:

Doyoureallythinkthatbeatingupahandicappedkidisbeingnice?

[turnsandwalksonhisway]

Cartman:

Uh...[turnsandrunstowardsKyle]He-heyKyle!

Knockknock.[followshimaroundthecorner]Knockknock,Kyle!

[Theschoolcafeteria.Cartmanislookingatapicture.Atearwellsupinhislefteye.Thepicture'sframereads"IHadAGoodTimeatCASABONITA,"andthepicturewithinisoneofCartman,hismom,andthemariachisinthebackground.HehearsKyle'sexcitedvoice.]

Kyle:

Yeah,CasaBonita,thisSaturday!

[approachesatablewithKenny,Stan,andButters]

Butters:

Wow,that'sgonnabesofun!

Stan:

Yeah,it'llbeawesome.Justthefourofus.

Kenny:

（Yeah!

）[Cartmansitsathisowntable,alone.]

[Theschoolhall,thebellrings.RedandJordanwalkoneway,KyleandCraigtheoppositeway.Kevenopensuphislocker.Kylestopsathislocker,andCartmanwalksup]

Cartman:

HeyKyle.

Kyle:

Well?

Cartman:

Wellwhat?

Kyle:

HowareyougoingtotrytogetinvitedtoCasaBonitathistime?

Cartman:

I'mnot,Kyle.IknowyoualreadytoldButtershecouldgo.

Kyle:

Oh.Well...yeah.I,Idid.

Cartman:

So,fine,Kyle,buthonestly,Inevermeanttomakeyoufeellikeyoudidn'tmatteratalltome.IknowweargueallthetimeandIgiveyoutonsofcrap,butwe'vealsobeenthrougha,alottogether,and...maybethatalonedoesn'tmakeusfriends,butitmakesussomething.So,...whatever,youknow,just...ahIhope...thingswillbecool.

Kyle:

I'mstillnotinvitingyoutoCasaBonita.

Cartman:

Iknow,Kyle.I'llseeyalater.[turnsandwalksaway]

Kyle:

Eh...hey,Cartman?

[Cartmanturnsaround]Youreallydon'tcarethatyoucan'tgo?

Cartman:

Icare,sure,butIhopeitdoesn'tmeanyouandmeandStanandKennycan'thangoutanymore.

Kyle:

That'sexactlywhatIwantedtohearfromyouallalong.AhuhIstillhavetotakeButters,but...Ihopethingscanbecooltoo.

Cartman:

Good.

Kyle:

And,andhey,ifforsomereasonButterscan'tgotoCasaBonita,youcantakehisplace.

Cartman:

Sweet,whatever.[walkson,thenmouthstohimself]Bingo!

[Cartman'shouse,Fridaynight.CartmanleadsButtersintohisbedroom]

Butters:

What'sthisallabout,Eric?

Cartman:

[leadshimtoatelescope,thenturns]Butters,canyoukeepasecret?

Butters:

Well,sureIcan!

Cartman:

ForthepastfivedaysI'vebeenlookingoutintospaceforaschoolproject.Thismorning,at3:

45a.m.I...caughtfirstsightofsomethingterrible.

Butters:

Nnn-howterrible?

Cartman:

Ameteor.AmeteorthesizeofWyoming,heading