The Queen script.docx
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TheQueenscript
TheQueenscript
'Afterweeksofcampaigning'TonyBlairandhisfamily'strolledtothepollingstation'thiselectiondaymorning.
'TheLabourfaithfulfeelpride'inMrBlair'sachievements'asheisabouttobecometheyoungestPMthiscentury.'
-Haveyouvotedyet,MrCrawford?
-Yes,Ma'am.
Iwastherewhentheyopened.Firstinline,seveno'clock.
Idon'tmindtellingyou,itwasn'tforMrBlair.
-You'renotamoderniser?
-Certainlynot.
We'reindangeroflosingtoomuchthatisgoodaboutthiscountry.
(Man)'Thereisagrowingsenseofexcitement.
Ienvyyou,beingabletovote.Nottheactualtickingofthebox,
althoughitwouldbenicetoexperiencethatonce......butthesheerjoyofbeingpartial.
Yes.Ofcourse,oneforgetsthatassovereign,you'renotentitledtovote.
-No.-Still,Idon'tfeelsorryforyou.
Youmightnotbeallowedtovote,ma'am......butitisyourgovernment.
Yes.
Isupposethatissomeconsolation.
Goodmorning.
-ShallIdrawthecurtains?
-Yes,please.
So,didyoustayupallnight?
Yes,ma'am.
Andwasitasexpected?
Yes,ma'am.MrBlair.
Byalandslide.
Oh,Isee.
(Man)'They'vestoppedthetrafficcompletely'forTonyBlair'sfirstdayofpowerinLondon.
'You'vegottheceremonial,theofficial'andyou'vegotalovelysummer'sday.
'TonyBlairwavingtothecrowds,peoplewavingtothemthere.
'Iguesstheyknowit'sthePrimeMinisteronthestreets.'
ThePrimeMinisterisonhisway,ma'am.
Tobe,Robin.ThePrimeMinistertobe.
Ihaven'taskedhimyet.
He'sahardonetoread,isn'the?
Yes.Ontheonehand,hisbackgroundisquiteestablishment-fatheraConservative,educatedatFettes.
HehadthesametutorasthePrinceofWales.
We'lltrynottoholdthatagainsthim.
Ontheother,hismanifestopromisesthemostradicalshake-upoftheconstitutionin300years.
-Thinkhe'lltrytomoderniseus?
-Iwouldn'tputitpasthim.
Hiswifehasanti-monarchistsympathies.
Youmayrememberhercurtsythefirsttimeyoumet.
Itcouldbestbedescribedasshallow.
(Chuckles)Idon'tmeasurethedepthofacurtsy,Robin.
Ileavethattomysister.
DowningStreetisexpectedtobeinformal-everyoneonfirst-nameterms,atthePrimeMinister'sinsistence.
-What,"CallmeTony"?
-Yes,ma'am.
Oh,Idon'tlikethat.Havewesenthimaprotocolsheet?
-Funny,I'mactuallyrathernervous.-Why?
You'vemetherbefore.
Iknow,butneveronetoone,andneverasPrimeMinister.
Well,remember,you'reamanthat'sjustbeenelectedbythenation.
Butshe'sstill,youknow,theQueen.
Theaudienceroomisupstairs.
Whenwereachtheaudienceroom,Iwillknock.
Weshallgostraightinside.
Standingbythedoor,webow,fromtheneck.
Iwillintroduceyou.TheQueenwillextendherhand.
Yougotoher,bowagain,thenshakeherhand.
Acoupleofotherthings-it'sma'amasinham,notma'amasinfarm.
Whenyou'reinthepresence,atnopointmustyoushowyourback.
-Thepresence?
-Yes,sir.
That'swhatit'scalledwhenyou'reinHerMajesty'scompany.
Wouldyouliketositthere,MrsBlair?
Hownicetoseeyouagain,MrBlair.
-Andcongratulations.-Thankyou.
-Yourchildrenmustbeproud.-Ihopeso.
-You'vethree,haven'tyou?
-That'sright.
Suchablessing,children.Dositdown.
Thankyou.
Haveweshownyouhowtostartanuclearwaryet?
-Er...no.-Oh.Firstthingwedo,apparently.
Thenwetakeawayyourpassportandsendyouroundtheworld.
YouobviouslyknowmyjobbetterthanIdo.
Yes,well,youaremytenthprimeminister,MrBlair.
MyfirstwasWinstonChurchill.
Hesatinyourchairinafrockcoatandtophat.
Hewaskindenoughtogiveayounggirllikemequiteaneducation.
Icanimagine.
Withtime,onehashopefullyaddedexperienceandwisdom,betterenablingustoexecuteourconstitutionalresponsibility,toadvise,guideandwarnthegovernmentoftheday.
AdvicewhichI...lookforwardtoreceiving.
Yes.We'llsavethatforourweeklymeetings.
Ifthere'snothingelse,Ibelievewehavesomebusinesstoattendto.
Ofcourse.
YourMajesty,mypartyhaswontheelection,andsoIaskyourpermissiontoforma...
No,MrBlair.Iaskthequestion.
Thedutyfallsuponme,assovereign,toinviteyoutobecomePrimeMinisterandtoformagovernmentinmyname.
Andifyouagree,thecustomistosayyes.
Yes.
MrsBlair,lovelytoseeyouagain.
Andcongratulations.Youmustbeveryproud.
-Yes.-Andexhausted,Iimagine.
-Wherewillyouspendthesummer?
-France.
-Lovely.-You'llbeinBalmoral?
Yes.Wonderfulplace.
Mygreat,greatgrandmother,Victoriasaid,"InBalmoral,allseemstobreathefreedomandpeace"andmakeoneforgettheworldanditssadturmoils."
-YourMajesty...-Oh,excuseme.
-(Whispering)-No.Really?
Oh.Yes,ofcourse.
I'msosorry.We'regoingtohavetoleaveitthere.
Nottooshort,wasit,15minutes?
-Onedoesn'twanttoberude.-No,ma'am.
Morning.
-"Thanksforcoming.Now,fuckoff."-Whatwasthatabout?
Godknows.It'llbesomethingtodowithDiana.
(Woman)'PrincessDianaembroiledincontroversy'asshepullsoutofameetingwithMPs.'
PrincessDianamovedtomendrelationswiththeformernanny...
PrincessDianaattendedamemorialserviceforthefashiondesignerGianniVersace.
(Man)'...whereanotherroyalcontroversysparkles.'...wasembroiledinasecondcontroversythisweek.
Iamnotapoliticalfigure.
PrincessDianasailedoutintotheMediterraneaninoneofMrMohamedAlFayed'syachtstoday.
-Withhisson....quarterofamillionpoundsforphotographswhichappeartoshowthecoupleembracing.
Onceagain,herjudgement'sunderscrutiny.
Earliertoday,theyvisitedthe...
RobinJanvrin.
What?
TellSirGuyIwanteveryoneinASAP.
Ma'am?
Ma'am?
-Yes?
-Ma'am,MrJanvrinisheretoseeyou.
What?
Oh.
Goodeveningma'am.
I'msorrytodisturb,butI'vejusthadacallfromourembassyinParis.
-It'sthePrincessofWales.-Why?
What'sshedonenow?
Isee.Er...Whoarewespeakingtothere?
Right,well,keepmeupdated.
It'sDiana.She'sbeeninacaraccidentinParis.
Isitserious?
ApparentlyDodiFayedisdead.
'Let'srecaponthedetailsofthoseinjuries,Maxine.'
'They'resayingthePrincessisintheintensivecareunit
'ofasoutheastParishospital.
-'Shehasconcussion,abrokenarm...'-WhywassheinParis?
-IthoughtshewasinLondon.-Youknowwhatshe'slike.
Charles,isn'tthisawful?
-Whatwillyoudoabouttheboys?
-Letthemsleepuntilweknowmore.
-Yes,that'ssensible.-IshouldgotoParis.
Itoldmypeopletoorganiseajet.
-What,aprivateone?
-Yes.
Isn'tthatthesortofextravagancetheyattackusfor?
(Charles)HowelsecanIgettoParisatthistimeofnight?
Charles,dear,usetheroyalflight.
TheykeeponeplaneonpermanentstandbyincaseIshouldkickthebucket.
No,Mummy,hecan't.Thisisn'tamatterofstate.
Whatareyoutalkingabout?
Dianaisnotoneoftheroyalfamily.She'snotanHRH.
-It'saprivatematter.-She'smothertoyourgrandchildren.
Whatishappeningnow?
Idon'tknow.Ican'thear.Everyone'sshouting.
-Thanksforcomingin.-TheambassadorfromParis.
Goodevening,sir.
Yes?
I'vejustspokentoourambassadorinParis,ma'am.
I'mafraidit'snotgoodnews.
No!
No...
No.No.No.
No.
Diana,PrincessofWales,hasdiedafteracarcrashinParis.
TheFrenchgovernmentannouncedherdeaththismorning.
-WhathaveIgotonthisweek?
-Writingyourconferencespeeches.
Well,let'scanceleverythingelse.
Thisisgoingtobemassive.
(TV)'HerdeathwasconfirmedbytheFrench...'
-I'llmakeastatementinthemorning.-I'vestartedcomingupwithideas.
-She'sonlybeendeadanhour.-WouldyoupreferIdidn't?
(Charleswhispers)Tryandbeverybrave.
It'sMummy.She'sdead.
They'regoingtogobacktosleep.
Try,anyway.
Myprivatesecretary'sofficehavefoundatravelagencyinNewYork
thatwillsellmeaflighttoPariswithanhour'sstopoverinManchester.
Perhapsyoumightconsiderifit'sanextravagancetobringbackthemotherofthefuturekingofEnglandinoneofourplanes.
Allright.Ofcourse.
John,Idon'twanttheboystoseethenewsandgetupset.
TaketheradiofromthebedroomandtheTVfromthenursery.
Yes,ma'am.
-Well,well,well.-Yes.
Areyouallright?
Yoursistercalled,fromTuscany.
Ihopeyoutoldhertocutherholidayshort.
-Idid.-Ican'timagineshewaspleased.
-That'sputtingitmildly.-Whatdidshesay?
SomethingaboutDianabeingmoreannoyingdeadthanalive.
Neverlettheboyshearyoutalklikethat.
Ofcourse.
Somethingtohelpyougodown?
No,IthinkI'llwritemydiaryalittlelonger.
Fine.I'mgoingtobed.
(Man)'We'veheardnothingofficialfromthepalace.
'Wedon'tknowwhenwe'llgetanystatementsfromthepalace
'orwhentheroyalfamilyaredue.'
That'showshewillremain,inourminds,ourhearts,forever.
-OK?
Gotit.-(Alastair)'Wherewillyoudoit?
'
-Atthechurch,onthewayin.-I'llorganiseit.
(TV)'ViscountAlthorp,Diana'sbrother...'
Hangon.Iwanttowatchthis.
(Althorp)'Thisisnotatimeforrecriminations,butforsadness.
'However,IwouldsayIalwaysbelievedthepresswouldkillherintheend.
'NotevenIimaginedtheywouldtakesuchadirecthandinherdeath
'asseemstobethecase.
'Ltwouldappearthateveryproprietorandeditorofeverypublication
'thatpaidforintrusivephotographsofherhasbloodonhishandstoday.'
Notthepress,mate.You'vegotthewrongv