Unit4.docx
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Unit4
UnitFour:
TheNo-childFamily:
GoingAgainst100,000YearsofBiology
RitaKramer
Introduction:
Withthedevelopmentofacommercializedsociety,somepeoplehavedecidedtoremainsingle,andmoreandmoremarriedcoupleshavedecidednottohaveanychildren.Thereasonsseemtobemany-sided.Oneofreasonsseeminglyliesinthepressuresofmodernworkandlife.Conventionalistsarguethat"generationfacesseriousquestionsaboutthecontinuityoflifeandaswellasitsquality",so"itisselfishtostaychildlessaftermarriage,andthat“theno-childfamilyflyinthefaceofbiologyandsociety.”Wehavealsonoticedthatinacommercialsociety,manymendriftintotheparenthood.Dotheyhavetomakeavirtueoutofnecessitytorearachildevenwhendon'twantto?
1) CathyandWayneN.areintheirlate20'shavebeenmarriedfiveyears,andarechildless.ThelasttimeamemberofCathy'sfamilyasked,“whenareyougoingtostartafamily?
”Heranswerwas"Weareafamily!
"
2) CathyandWaynebelongtoagrowingnumberofyoungmarriedcoupleswhoaredecidingnottohavechildren.Arecentsurveyshowedthatinthelastfiveyearsthepercentageofwivesaged25to29whodidnotwantchildrenhadalmostdoubledandamongthose18to24ithadalmosttripled.Whatliesbehindthisdecisionwhichseemstoflyinthefaceofbiologyandsociety?
3) PerhapsthemostpublicoutspokenchildlesscoupleareEllenPeck,authorofTheBabyTrap,andherhusband,William,anadvertisingexecutivewhoispresidentoftheNationalOrganizationforNon-parents.ThePecksinsistneithertheynortheorganizationisagainstparenthood,justagainstthesocialpressuresthatpushpeopleintoparenthoodwhetheritiswhattheyreallywantandneedornot.
4) "It'salife-stylechoice,"Ellensays.“Wechosefreedomandspontaneity,privacyandleisure.It'salsoaquestionofwhereyouwanttogiveyourefforts–withinyourownfamilyorinthelargercommunity.Thisgenerationfacesseriousquestionsaboutthecontinuityoflifeandaswellasitsquality.Ourgrandchildrenmayhavetobuyticketstoseethelastredwoodsorlineuptogettheiroxygenration.Therearemenwhocomplainaboutbeingcaughtinatrafficjamforhoursontheirhometotheirfivekidsbutcan'tmaketheassociationbetweenthechildrenandthetrafficjam.Inaworldseriouslythreatenedbytheconsequencesofoverpopulationwe'reconcernedwithmakinglifewithoutchildrenacceptanceandrespectable.Toomanychildrenarebornasaresultofculturalcoercion.Andtheresultsshowupinthestatisticsondivorceandchild-abuse.”
5) Herhusbandadds,“Everyfriend,relativeandbusinessassociateispressuringyoutohavekids'andfindwhatyou'remissing.'Toomanypeoplediscovertoolatethatwhattheyweremissingwassomethingtheyweretotallyunsuitedfor.”
6) AndEllenagain:
“Fromthefirstdolltosoapoperastococktailparties,thepressureoralwaystheretobeparents.Butlet'stakealookattherateofparentalfailure.Perhapsparenthoodshouldberegardedasaspecializedoccupationlikebeingadoctor.Somepeoplearegoodatitandtheyshouldhavechildren;otheraren't,andtheyshouldfeeltheyhaveotheralternatives.”
7) Professionalobserversagreethatmanypeoplehavechildrenforthewrongreason,somethingfornoreasonatall.Menoftendriftintofatherhoodwithoutevermakingadeliberatechoice.Formanywomenpregnancycanbeawaytoescapefromunresolvedconflicts,toachieveinstantidentityorstrengthenapoorself-image,togratifyaneedfortheattentionandaffectiontheyfeeltheyneverhadaschildren.
8) Italkedwithanumberofspecialistsinthefieldofhumanbehavioraboutwhymanyyoungmarriedcouplesdecidenottohavechildren.Theirreactionsvariedwidely.Afamilytherapistdescribedthedecisionnottohavechildrenas“abasicinstinctualresponsetotheworldsituationtoday,”implyingthatsomethingliketheherdinstinctinanimalswasoperatingasaresponsetothedangersofover-population,crowding,pollutionandnuclearwar,causingwomentofeelareluctancetoreproduceandleadingthemtoseeknewwaysofrealizingthemselvesoutsideoffamilylife.
9) Morethanonepsychiatristsuggestedthatthosewhowanttoremainchildlessarenarcissistic–makingavirtueoutofnecessitybyrationalizingtheirinnerconflictaboutgivingcarevs.beingtakencareof.“Therearepeoplewhocan'ttoleratetheideaofcaringforchildren,whohavenomarginoflovetosparethem,”saidone,adding,“You'regoingagainstsomethingwith100,000yearsofbiologybehindit.”Acolleagueofhischimedin,“well,weallrationalizeourdeficits,andthesepeopleprobablyshouldn’thavechildrenwhatevertheirrealmotivesare,forthesamereasonthereoughttobeliberalabortionlaw.Thereshouldonlybeenthusiasticparentsinthisworld.”
10) PsychologistDonaldM.Kaplanbelievesthatwhilesomepeoplehavealwaysoptednottohavechildren,theincreasedfrequencyweareseeingisinthosechildrenofthenineteen-fortiesandfiftieswhowereraisedbyparentswhosecharacterstylehadshiftedfromwhatsociologistDavidRisesmancalled“inner-directed”to“other-directed,”andthattheseother-directedparentshadtworelevanteffectsontheirchildren.Onewastogivethemagreaterfeelingof"narcissisticentitlement"fromlife-----.Theotherwasthelossofasenseofcertainty.Theyaremoreopentoself-doubt,hesays,morepreoccupiedwiththeirbodies,theirlife-styles,lessabletomaintainstableattachmenttoothers.Thedecisiontohaveababy,hethinks,isthekindofdecisionsuchpeoplemightbemostlikelytopostpone.Itcan'tbemodified,can'tbeundone.
11) “Manyoftheseyoungadultsareambivalentaboutrelinquishingtheroleoftheonewhoiscaredforandtakingonthatoftheonewhodoesthecaring,”saysDr.Kaplan.
12) Dr.E.JamesAnthonyisprofessorofchildpsychiatryatWashingtonUniversitySchoolofMedicineandco-authorof“Parenthood,itsPsychologyandPsychopathology.”InarecentconversationDr.Anthonysaid,“ManypeopleI’vetalkedtoareveryconcernedabouttheirownfutureandthefutureofchildreninthisrathertroubledworld.Inthepasttherewasalwaysafeelingimplicitintheculturethatparenthoodwassomethingverysignificant,attractive,enriching,creative.Nowitseemstobegoingbytheboard.Thereseemtobesomanyotheropportunitiesforwomentoexpressthemselvescreativelyandfamilyliferequiresthemtogiveupsomanythingsthattheemphasisonfamilyoftheworld,doesn'treallyringabellwithmanyyoungpeople.”
13) “Ithinkthatpartofwhat'shappeningisthattheambivalenceofparentstodayisbeingpassedonunconsciouslytotheirchildren.Childrenareagreatdealoftrouble,andperhapsmoresotodaythaneverbefore.Theycanbeapainintheneck.Theirprecociousdevelopment,adolescentacting-out,drug-taking,allloomasproblems.Theyoungpeoplefeel,‘iftheydon'treallywantus,whyshouldwewanttohavechildren?
’thentheyrationalizethisfeelingintermsoftheexternalquestionslikewhattheworldhastooffer.Theyaskquestionslike,‘whyaddtothepopulationexplosion?
Whycreatepeoplewhowillhavetofacealltheproblemsthatareapproachinginthenextcentury?
’”
14) “Despitetheirstatedmotivesfornothavingchildren,thequestionariseswhetheryoungpeoplereallyinfactleadricherlivestoday.Ifindthatmanycollegestudentstodayfeelstrangelyempty.Theyliveinaworldfullofstimuliofallsortsbutlackasenseofinnersatisfactionthatmanyrelatetothesebasicbiologicthings.”
15) Whateverelsetheydisagreeon,theexpertsallseemtobesayingthatit'snotwhetheryouhavechildrenordon'tthatreallymatters,whatmattersisthatyouarecomfortableaboutwhatyoudo.Ifyoudon'thavechildrenandyouhavemuchinnerconflictaboutit,you'llbemiserableinyourchildlessness;ifyouhavechildrenandregretit,you'llbemiserableandyourchildrenwillbemiserabletoo.Thepointseemstobetoknowyourself,toacceptyourdeeperfeelingsandnotmakesuchanimportantlifedecisionbecauseit'sthethingtodoortosatisfyunrealisticfantasies,ortogiveyourparentswhattheywantortoescapefromotherresponsibilities.
16) Somepeopleareafraidtoadmittheirownfeelingsofthekindmanyofthechildlesscouplesinterviewedcouldacceptaboutthemselves---whattheycalledbeing"selfish".Theyareashamedtoadmittheywouldrathertravelthanbringupchildren.Butwhatifthatiswhatchangedandifyoudonotrecognizewhatyoursreallyare,youwillnotmakethechoicesthatarerightforyou.
17) Formany,ofnotmostpeople,thejoysofparenthoodaswellasitsproblemsarewhatlifeisallabout.Toseeone'schildrengrowanddevelopintoindividuals,andtoseeoneselfcontinueoninthem,canbetherichestexperiencebetweenone'sownbirthanddeath.Buttherearealsopeopleforwhomlivinginatimeinwhichattitudesseemtobefreeingupinawaywhichenablesincreasingnumbersofmenandwomentoquestiontheway“everybody”livesifthatisnotthewayisrightforthem.Themorepeoplecontinuetoaskthemselvessuchquestionsaswhetherornottheyreallywanttoraiseafamilybeforetheybegintodoso,thefewerunhappyparentsandtroubledchildrentherewillbe.
A. TranslatethefollowingEnglishintoChinese.
ASomeobserverssuggestthatperhapswhatweareseeingisnotarealchangeatall,that,likethesexualrevolution,itisnotreallyarevolutioninbehaviorbutinexpression.||"Itmaybe",