辛普森一家theSimpsons第二季第十二集对白.docx
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辛普森一家theSimpsons第二季第十二集对白
1
Doyouhavetositsoclose?
It'llhurtyoureyes.
2
-Itwillnot.
-Oh,yes,itwill.
3
OurnextmovieisMcBain...
4
...ashoot-them-up,splatter-fest
fromtheHollywoodcookiecutter.
5
Here'sabrainlessscene.
6
SenatorMendozais
arespectedcitizen.
7
Yetyouranhislimooffacliffand
droveabusthroughhisfrontdoor?
8
Ihaveproofthat
he'sheadofadrugcartel!
9
Idon'twanttohearit,McBain!
You'reoutofhere!
10
Thatmakestwoofus.
11
-Allright,McBain!
-Cool!
12
"Thatmakestwoofus."
13
Arewetalkingaboutthesamemovie?
14
McBainwasanonstoprollercoaster
ofchills,thrills,spillsandkills.
15
Thatchaseattheend--
16
Thatmoviestinkslike
yourcreepyapartment.
17
-Yourmotherdidn'tthinkso.
-Realmature--
18
Ilovewatchingthebaldguyargue
withthefattuboflard.
19
-Whatgives?
-Dad,dosomething!
20
Allright,allright.TimeforDr.TV
toperformalittlesurgery!
21
Lookslikeyoulostthepatient,doc.
22
Shutup.CheapChineseTV,why'dI
everbuyit?
Isthatbetter?
23
No!
24
How'sthis?
25
Oh,no.Okay.
Justeverybodyremaincalm.
26
Ifyoulookclose,
youcanmakethemout.
27
Yeah,IthinkIcan.
28
You'restaringatadot.
29
She'sright!
She'sright!
Oh,howImissTV!
30
DearGod,givemeonechannel!
31
It'snottheendoftheworld.Before
wegotmarried,wehardlywatchedTV.
32
Youlie!
33
It'strue,Bart.
Weusedtoshootpoolandgodancing.
34
Howromantic!
35
Andwe'dstayathome
andtalk,likethis.
36
Iain'tlovingit.
37
It'shardtopictureyouatthe
crossroadsoflife.Somanyquestions.
38
-Pickone.
-Okay.HowdidDadproposetoyou?
39
Oh,well....
40
Ithinkwefoundthereasonwhyyou've
beenthrowingupinthemorning.
41
-Congratulations.
-D'oh!
42
I'drathertellyouadifferentstory.
43
HowyourfatherandIfirstmet
andfellinlove.
44
Wewereseniorsinhighschool,
butwe'dnevermet.
45
Gross.
46
Hey,Homer,you'relateforEnglish!
47
Whoneedsthat?
I'mnevergoing
toEngland.Let'ssmoke.
48
I'mforequalrights,butdoweneed
anamendment?
49
Don'tyoudeservetoearnasmuch
asamanwhodoesthesamejob?
50
NotifIhavetodo
heavyliftingormath.
51
Oh,Marge,youreallyought
toreadthis.
52
Theshopkidsaresmokingagain.
53
-We'relateforwoodshop!
-Let'sgogrababurger.
54
Boy,youdon'tgainapound.
55
It'smymetabolism.
I'moneoftheluckyones.
56
Well,ifitisn'tSimpsonandGumble,
Springfield'sCheechandChong.
57
Threedaysofdetention.
Youknowwhereandwhen.
58
3:
00,oldbuilding,room106.
59
Ifoundoutthattohireprofessionals
todoallthejobsofahousewife...
60
...whoincidentallyisnotmarried
toahouse,wouldcost$48,000ayear.
61
Righton,sister!
62
Thefirststepistofreeourselves
fromthesemale-imposedshackles!
63
Yeah,mama!
Takeitoff!
64
-Ididn'tthinkit'dburnsofast.
-It'sthepaper.
65
Ms.Bouvier,Iamsurprised.Oneday
ofdetention.Youknowwhereandwhen.
66
-No,Idon't.I'veneverreally--
-3:
00,oldbuilding,room106.
67
Hi,Estelle?
Willyougo
tothepromwithme?
68
Iwouldn'tgoifyouwere
ElliottGould!
69
-Shotdownagain.
-Don'tworry,it'sabigschool.
70
There'sgottabeagirl
nobodywantstotake.
71
Excuseme,isthisroom106?
72
-Hey,who'sthat?
-Idon'tknow.
73
-Hey,wouldyouliketogo--?
-She'smine!
74
-Sowhatareyouinfor?
-I'mapoliticalprisoner.
75
Everyday,Ishowup,actlikeme
andtheyslapmeinhere.
76
Simpson,bequiet!
77
-Ihaven'tseenyouinschool.
-Okay,Simpson.
78
-What?
-Anotherdayofdetention!
79
-Let'sgettogether.
-Twodays!
80
-What'syourname?
-Homer.
81
-Threedays!
-J.Simpson.
82
-Five!
-Itwasworthit!
83
Sixdays!
Okay,Simpson,
tothebackoftheroom!
84
-Loveatfirstsight!
-Jailhouseromance.
85
Ireachedstepone.SheknewIexisted.
Theproblemwas,shedidn'tcare.
86
-What'sthematter?
-Nothing.
87
Usually,Ihavetowrestle
thebucketoutofyourmitts.
88
-Dad,I'minlove.
-Whydon'tyougrabyourselfabeer?
89
-But,Dad,Idon'tdrink--
-Cutthecrap!
"Icollectthecans."
90
Nowgrababeerandgetmeonetoo.
Thisgirlfriend,issheareallooker?
91
-Alotontheball?
-Yeah.
92
Oh,son,don'toverreach!
93
Goforthedentedcar,thedead-end
job,thelessattractivegirl!
94
Iblamemyself.Ishould'vehad
thistalkalongtimeago.
95
Thanks,Pop.
96
A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,l,
J,K,L,M,N,O,P--S.
97
Ineedsomeguidance,counselor.
98
Okey-dokey.GoodLord,youshould've
cometoseemealongtimeago.
99
Imetthisgirl,Marge,
andIwannaforcehertolikeme.
100
That'snotthetype
ofguidanceIgive.
101
IliketothinkIdosomething
helpfulforeverystudent.
102
TheonlyadviceIcangiveyouis
tosharecommoninterestsandspend.
103
Whatinterestsdoesshehave?
104
She'sactiveontheforensicsteam.
Theymeetinroom219.
105
-Farout!
-Doyouhaveplansaftergraduation?
106
Me?
I'mgonnadrinkalotofbeer
andstayoutallnight!
107
Imeantcareer-wise.Thatnuclear
powerplantwillbeopeningsoon.
108
It'sanoutfitthatwon't
requireacollegeeducation.
109
Me,inanuclearpowerplant.
110
Kaboom!
111
Butbringingupason,evenablind
one,isn'talifetimeoccupation.
112
Now,themoreyouhelphim,
themoreyouhurthim.
113
WoeuntoShelbyville,shouldthey
underestimateourstrength.
114
Thanks,Artie.
115
I'dliketosignupforsomething.
116
-We'veanopeningonthedebateteam.
-Arguing?
117
I'lltakethat,stinkpot!
Justwarmingup,Mrs.Bloominstein.
118
Thetopicis"Resolved:
Thespeed
limitshouldbeloweredto55mph."
119
Fifty-five?
That'sridiculous!
120
Sure,it'llsaveafewlives,
butmillionswillbelate!
121
Whydon'tyoutake"con"?
122
Noway.
123
-Ourspeedlimitisananachronism--
-Ignoramus.
124
-Willyoushutup?
-Thatwordyoucallme--
125
-Ignoramus?
-ItmeansI'mstupid,doesn'tit?
126
-Stupidityisdifferent.
-Nottome.
127
-Ignoramus.
-Youare.
128
-Wouldyouliketodoyourrebuttal?
-Withpleasure.
129
Ay,carumba!
130
Youmaynotrememberme.
Imoonedforrebuttal.
131
-Yes,Iremember.
-Soyouwannagooutwithme?
132
Well,Idon'tthinkyou'remytype.
133
Yousee,theproblemis,
youdon'tknowme.Ihavereferences.
134
JustaskCoachFlanagan.Andask
Mr.SeckofskyandBarneyGumble!
135
Idon'tknow.
136
I'mnotaskingyoutolikemeorlet
metouchyourgoodies.Justbefair.
137
HomerSimpson?
Oh,yeah.
Juniorvarsityshot-putter.
138
Ithinkifheapplieshimself,trains
realhard,hecouldgoanotherfoot.
139
Ihadhimforfouryears.Solid"C"
student.Madealamplastyear.
140
He'sallthingstomenandmaybeto
aluckygal.Wannagotopromwithme?
141
-GoodGod,no!
-Wellput.
142
Well,what'sthegoodword?
143
I'msorry.Youseemlikeaniceguy.
ButIreallydon'thavethetime.
144
Andtheforensicschampionship
iscomingup.
145
-So?
-AndItutorpart-time.
146
-Yoututor?
Anyonecanbetutored?
-OnlyinFrench.
147
French?
Whatacoincidence!
Just
thesubjectI'mhavingtroublewith.
148
-Why,youcageyolddog!
-Greatstory.Work,damnyou,work!
149
Bart!
Youmaybetellingthis
onedayifsomethingbreaks.
150
Lostafew.There'splenty
morewherethatcamefrom.
151
Uh-oh,azit.Noproblemo.
152
Theperfectcrime.
153
-Whyistheremake-outmusicon?
-Ithelpsmestudy.
154
Notme.Shutitoffandlet'sgetdown
tobusiness.
155
-Crayon.
-Bien!
156
-Fen阾re.
-Bien!
157
-Femme.
-Tr鑣bien.
158
Ishouldbegoing.
Ihaveabigforensicsmeettomorrow.
159
Wait,wait.Don'tgo.
160
Wait.Wait.Whydon'twe
takealittlestudybreak?
161
-Dothehustle!
-Keepitdown!
162
You'reamazing.Nowyoucan
conjugatealltheregularverbs...
163
...twoirregularverbs,
andsing"Alouette."
164
-Bien.
-Ican'tbelieveit.It'ssticking.
165
You'retellingmenewstuff
andminuteslater,it'sstillthere.
166
WhenIseeyouforming
vowelsandcontinents--
167
-Consonants.
-Withyourbeautifulmouthandteeth--
168
Merci,Iguess.
169
Marge,wouldyougo
tothepromwithme?
170
Youknow,Homer,you'relike
nooneI'veevermetbefore.
171
You'redearandhonestandopen,
withoutatraceofpretension.
172
I'lltakethatasacompliment.
Willyougooutwithme?
Sayoui.
173
-Oui.
-Thiswillbethegreatestnight!
174
I'vebeensavingup,
butI'llspenditallonus!
175
I'llrentalimo!
I'llbuyyouacorsage!
176
Mytuxwillhavethewidestlapels
andthehighestplatformshoes.
177
MaybeI'llwearmyhairup.
178
Wait,Marge.Ifhonestandopenis
whatyoulike,getaloadofthis.
179
I'mnotinanyFrenchclass.Thiswas
abrilliantschemetogettoknowyou.
180
YouknewtheCityForensicsFinals
aretomorrow...
181
...andyoukeptmeupuntil1a.m.
Pretendingtobestupid!
182
HomerJ.Simpson,Ihateyou!
183
Hey,Barney.Guesswho's
gotadatefortheprom?
!
184
Iknowthisstorydoesn'tend
withyoutellingittous.
185
Theymarried,hadkids
andboughtacheapTV.
186
Bringingupason,evenablindone,
isn'talifetimeoccupation.
187
-Now,themoreyouhelphim...
-Terrible.
188
...themoreyouhurthim.
189
Congratulations,Artie.
190
Thismaynotbeanappropriateforum
forwhatI'mabouttoputforth...
191
...butwouldyougo
tothepromwithme?
192
Icanthinkofmanycogentarguments.
ThefirstisfromTimemagazine:
193
"America'sAffairWiththeProm."
"Evenwallflowerscandate--"
194
Thebestargument
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