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TheLittleWhiteHorse

   THELITTLEWHITEHORSE   BY   ELIZABETHGOUDGE  

  ToWalterHodgeswithallmythanks   COPYRIGHT,1946,BYELIZABETHGOUDGE   FirstAmericanEdition,1947   

   THELITTLEWHITEHORSE  ItwasunderthewhitemoonthatIsawhim.,Thelittlewhitehorse,withneckarchedhighinpride.  Lovelyhispride,delicate,notaintofselfStainingtheunconsciousinnocencedeniedKnowledgeofgoodandevil,burdenofdaysOfshamecrouchedbeneaththeflailofmemory.  Nopastforyou,littlewhitehorse,noregret,Nofutureoffearinthissilverforest-Onlytheperfectnowinthewhitemoon-dappledride.  Aflower-likebodyfashionedalloflight,Forthespeedoflight,yetmomentlyatrest,Balancedonthesheerknife-edgeofperfection;perfectionofgrasssilveruponthecrestOfthehill,beforethescythefalls,snowinsun,OftheshakenhumanspiritwhenGodspeaksInHisstillsmallvoiceandforabreathoftimeAllishushed;goneinasigh,thatperfection,Leavingthesharpknife-edgeturningslowlyinthebreast.  Theraisedhoof,theproudpoisedhead,theflowingmane?

  Thesuprememomentofstillnessbeforetheflight,Themomentoffarewell,ofwordlesspleadingForremembranceofthingslosttoearthlysight.  Thenthehalf-turnunderthetrees,amotionFluidasthemovementoflightonwater...  Stay,ohstayintheforest,littlewhitehorse!

...  HeislostandgoneandnowIdonotknowIfitwasalittlewhitehorsethatIsaw,Oronlyamoonbeamastrayinthesilvernight.             

CHAPTERI  MARIAARRIVESATMOONACREMANOR  ThecarriagegaveanotherlurchandMariaMerryweather,MissHeliotropeandWigginsoncemorefellintoeachother'sarms,sighed,gasped,rightedthemselvesandfixedtheirattentionuponthoseobjectswhichwereforeachofthematthistryingmomentthesourceofcourageandstrength.Mariagazedatherboots,pushingthemoutfromunderthe carriagerugforthatpurpose.MissHeliotroperestoredherspectacles,joltedfromheraquilinenosebytheswayingofthecarriage,totheirproperposition,pickedupthewornbrownvolumeofFrenchEssaysfromthefloor,poppedapeppermintinhermouthandpeeredoncemoreinthedimlightatthewigglyblackprintontheyellowedpage.Wigginsmeanwhilepursuedwithhistonguethetasteofthelong-since-digesteddinnerthatstilllingeredamonghiswhiskers.Humanitycanberoughlydividedintothreesortsofpeople,thosewhofindcomfortinliterature,thosewhofindcomfort inpersonaladornment,andthosewhofindcomfortinfood,andMissHeliotrope,MariaandWigginsweretypicalrepresentativesoftheirownsortofpeople.  Mariamustbedescribedfirstbecausesheistheheroineofthisstory.Inthisyearofgrace1842shewasthirteenyearsoldandwasconsideredplain,withherqueersilvery-greyeyesthatweresodisconcertinglypenetrating,herstraightreddishhairandthinpalefacewithitsdistressingfreckles.Yetherlittlefigure,smallasthatofafairy'schild,withabackboneasstraightasapoker,wasverydignified,andshehadexquisitetinyfeet,ofwhichshewasinordinatelyproud.Theywereherchiefbeauty,sheknew,whichwaswhyshetook,ifpossible,amoreburninginterestinherbootsthaninhermittensandgownsandbonnets.  Andthebootsshehadontodaywerecalculatedtoraisethelowestspirits,fortheyweremadeofthesoftestgreyleather,sewnwithcrystalbeadsroundthetops,andwerelinedwithsnow-whitelamb'swool.Thecrystalbeads,asithappened,couldnotbeseen,becauseMaria'sgreysilkdressandwarmgreywoolpelisse,alsotrimmedwithwhitelamb'swool,reachedtoherankles,butsheherselfknewtheywerethereandthethoughtofthemgaveheramoralstrengththatcanscarcelybeoverestimated.Sherestedherselfagainstthethoughtofthosebeads,justasinalesserdegreesherestedherselfagainstthethoughtofthepieceofpurpleribbonthatwaswoundaboutherslenderwaistbeneaththepelisse,thelittlebunchofvioletsthatwastuckedsofarawayinsidetherecessesofhergreyvelvetbonnetthatitwasscarcelyvisible,andthegreysilkmittensadorningthesmallhandsthatwerehiddeninsidethebigwhitemuff.ForMariawasoneofyourtruearistocrats;theperfectionofthehiddenthingswasevenmoreimportanttoherthan theoutwardshow.Notthatshedidnotliketheoutwardshow.Shedid.Shewasashowylittlething,evenwhendressedinthegreysandpurplesofthebereaved.  ForMariawasanorphan.Hermotherhaddiedinherbabyhoodandherfatherjusttwomonthsago,leavingsomanydebtsthateverythinghepossessed,includingthebeautifulLondonhousewiththefanlightoverthedoorandthetallwindowslookingoutoverthegardenofthequietLondonSquare,whereMariahadlivedthroughoutthewholeofhershortlife,hadhadtobesoldtopaythem.  WhenthelawyershadatlastsettledeverythingtotheirsatisfactionitwasfoundthattherewasonlyjustenoughmoneylefttoconveyherandMissHeliotropeandWigginsbycoachtotheWestCountry,apartoftheworldthattheyhadneverseen,wheretheyweretolivewithMaria'snearestlivingrelative,herfather'scousin,SirBenjaminMerryweather,whomtheyhadneverseeneither,inhismanorhouseofMoonacreinthevillageofSilverydew.  ButitwasnotherorphanedstatethathaddepressedMariaandmadeherturntothecontemplationofherbootsforcomfort.Hermothershedidnotremember;herfather,asoldier,whohadnearlyalwaysbeenabroadwithhisregiment,andwhodidnotcareforchildrenanyhow,hadneverhadmuchholduponheraffections;nottheholdthatMissHeliotropehad,whohadcometoherwhenshewasonlyafewmonthsold,hadbeenfirsthernurseandthenhergoverness,andhadlavisheduponherallthelovethatshehadeverknown.IfshehadlostMissHeliotropethatwouldhavebeenadifferentstoryaltogether.No,whatwasdepressingMariawasthewretchednessofthisjourneyandthediscomfortofcountrylifethatitsurelyforeboded.  Mariaknewnothingaboutthecountry.ShewasaLondonladybornandbred,andshelovedluxury,andinthatbeautifulhouselookingoutontheLondonSquareshehadhadit;eventhoughithadturnedoutatherfather'sdeaththatshereallyoughtn'ttohavehadit,becausetherehadnotbeenthemoneytopayforit.  Andnow?

JudgingbythiscarriagetherewouldnotbemanycomfortsatMoonacreManor.Itwasanawfulconveyance.  IthadmetthematExeter,andwasevenmoreuncomfortablethanthestagecoachthathadbroughtthemfromLondon.Thecushionsontheseatwerehardandmoth-eaten,andthefloorhadchickens'feathersandbitsofstrawblowingaboutintheicydraughtsthatsweptinthroughtheill-fittingdoors.Thetwopiebaldhorses,thoughtheyhadshining coatsandwereobviouslywelllovedandwell-caredfor,afactwhichMarianoticedatoncebecausesheadoredhorses,wereoldandstoutandmovedslowly.Andthecoachmanwasawizenedlittleoldmanwholookedmorelikeagnomethanahumancreature.  Hewasclothedinamany-capedgreatcoatsopatchedbypiecesofmaterialofallcolorsoftherainbowthatitwasimpossibleeventoguessatitsoriginalcolor,andahugecurly-brimmedhatofwornbeaverthathadperhapsoncebelongedtoSirBenjaminbecauseitwassomuchtoolargeforhimthatitcamerightdownoverhisfaceandrested uponthebridgeofhisnose,sothatonecouldscarcelyseeanythingofhisfaceexcepthiswidetoothlesssmileandthegreystubbleuponhisill-shavenchin.Yetheseemedamiableandhadbeenfullofconversationwhenhetuckedthemupinthecarriage,coveringtheirkneestenderlywithatornandtatteredrug,onlyowingtohislackofteeththeyhadfounditdifficulttounderstandhim.AndnowinthethickFebruarymistthatshroudedthecountrysidetheycouldscarcelyseehimthroughthesmallwindowinthefrontofthecarriage.Norcouldtheyseeanythingofthecountrythroughwhichtheywerepassing.Theonlythingtheyknewaboutitwasthattheroadwassofullofrutsandpitsthattheywerejoltedfromsidetosideandflungupanddownasthoughthecarriagewereplayingbattledoreandshuttlecockwiththem.AndsoonitwouldbedarkandtherewouldbenoneofthefashionablenewgaslampsthatnowadaysilluminedtheLondonstreets;onlythedeepblackawfuldarknessofthecountry.Anditwasbitterlycold,andtheyhadbeentravelingforwhatseemedlikeacentury,andstillthereseemednosignsoftheirevergettingthere.  MissHeliotroperaisedherbookofessaysandhelditwithinaninchofhernose,determinedtogettotheendoftheoneaboutendurancebeforedarknessfell.Shewouldreaditmanytimesinthemonthstocome,shehadnodoubt,ifthisdreadfulcarriagewereanyindicationofthekindoflifethatawaitedheratMoonacreManor--togetherwiththeoneuponthelovethatneverfails.Thislastessay,sheremembered,shehadreadforthefirsttimeontheeveningoftheday whenshehadarrivedtotakechargeofthemotherlesslittleMaria,andhadfoundherchargethemostunattractivespecimenofafemaleinfantthatshehadeverseteyesupon,withherqueersilveryeyesandherair,eveninbabyhood,ofknowingthatherbloodwasblueandthinkingalotofherselfinconsequence.  Nevertheless,afterreadingthatessayshehadmadeuphermindthatshewouldloveMaria,andthatherlovewouldneverfailthechilduntildeathpartedthem.   AtfirstMissHeliotrope'sloveforMariahadbeensomewhatforced.Shehadmadeandmendedherclotheswithgrimdeterminationandwitharatherdistressinglackofimagination,andhowevernaughtyshewashadappliedthecaneonlyverysparingly,beingmoreconcernedtowinthechild'saffectionthanwiththewelfareofherimmortalsoul.Bu