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TheLittleWhiteHorse
THELITTLEWHITEHORSE BY ELIZABETHGOUDGE
ToWalterHodgeswithallmythanks COPYRIGHT,1946,BYELIZABETHGOUDGE FirstAmericanEdition,1947
THELITTLEWHITEHORSE ItwasunderthewhitemoonthatIsawhim.,Thelittlewhitehorse,withneckarchedhighinpride. Lovelyhispride,delicate,notaintofselfStainingtheunconsciousinnocencedeniedKnowledgeofgoodandevil,burdenofdaysOfshamecrouchedbeneaththeflailofmemory. Nopastforyou,littlewhitehorse,noregret,Nofutureoffearinthissilverforest-Onlytheperfectnowinthewhitemoon-dappledride. Aflower-likebodyfashionedalloflight,Forthespeedoflight,yetmomentlyatrest,Balancedonthesheerknife-edgeofperfection;perfectionofgrasssilveruponthecrestOfthehill,beforethescythefalls,snowinsun,OftheshakenhumanspiritwhenGodspeaksInHisstillsmallvoiceandforabreathoftimeAllishushed;goneinasigh,thatperfection,Leavingthesharpknife-edgeturningslowlyinthebreast. Theraisedhoof,theproudpoisedhead,theflowingmane?
Thesuprememomentofstillnessbeforetheflight,Themomentoffarewell,ofwordlesspleadingForremembranceofthingslosttoearthlysight. Thenthehalf-turnunderthetrees,amotionFluidasthemovementoflightonwater... Stay,ohstayintheforest,littlewhitehorse!
... HeislostandgoneandnowIdonotknowIfitwasalittlewhitehorsethatIsaw,Oronlyamoonbeamastrayinthesilvernight.
CHAPTERI MARIAARRIVESATMOONACREMANOR ThecarriagegaveanotherlurchandMariaMerryweather,MissHeliotropeandWigginsoncemorefellintoeachother'sarms,sighed,gasped,rightedthemselvesandfixedtheirattentionuponthoseobjectswhichwereforeachofthematthistryingmomentthesourceofcourageandstrength.Mariagazedatherboots,pushingthemoutfromunderthe carriagerugforthatpurpose.MissHeliotroperestoredherspectacles,joltedfromheraquilinenosebytheswayingofthecarriage,totheirproperposition,pickedupthewornbrownvolumeofFrenchEssaysfromthefloor,poppedapeppermintinhermouthandpeeredoncemoreinthedimlightatthewigglyblackprintontheyellowedpage.Wigginsmeanwhilepursuedwithhistonguethetasteofthelong-since-digesteddinnerthatstilllingeredamonghiswhiskers.Humanitycanberoughlydividedintothreesortsofpeople,thosewhofindcomfortinliterature,thosewhofindcomfort inpersonaladornment,andthosewhofindcomfortinfood,andMissHeliotrope,MariaandWigginsweretypicalrepresentativesoftheirownsortofpeople. Mariamustbedescribedfirstbecausesheistheheroineofthisstory.Inthisyearofgrace1842shewasthirteenyearsoldandwasconsideredplain,withherqueersilvery-greyeyesthatweresodisconcertinglypenetrating,herstraightreddishhairandthinpalefacewithitsdistressingfreckles.Yetherlittlefigure,smallasthatofafairy'schild,withabackboneasstraightasapoker,wasverydignified,andshehadexquisitetinyfeet,ofwhichshewasinordinatelyproud.Theywereherchiefbeauty,sheknew,whichwaswhyshetook,ifpossible,amoreburninginterestinherbootsthaninhermittensandgownsandbonnets. Andthebootsshehadontodaywerecalculatedtoraisethelowestspirits,fortheyweremadeofthesoftestgreyleather,sewnwithcrystalbeadsroundthetops,andwerelinedwithsnow-whitelamb'swool.Thecrystalbeads,asithappened,couldnotbeseen,becauseMaria'sgreysilkdressandwarmgreywoolpelisse,alsotrimmedwithwhitelamb'swool,reachedtoherankles,butsheherselfknewtheywerethereandthethoughtofthemgaveheramoralstrengththatcanscarcelybeoverestimated.Sherestedherselfagainstthethoughtofthosebeads,justasinalesserdegreesherestedherselfagainstthethoughtofthepieceofpurpleribbonthatwaswoundaboutherslenderwaistbeneaththepelisse,thelittlebunchofvioletsthatwastuckedsofarawayinsidetherecessesofhergreyvelvetbonnetthatitwasscarcelyvisible,andthegreysilkmittensadorningthesmallhandsthatwerehiddeninsidethebigwhitemuff.ForMariawasoneofyourtruearistocrats;theperfectionofthehiddenthingswasevenmoreimportanttoherthan theoutwardshow.Notthatshedidnotliketheoutwardshow.Shedid.Shewasashowylittlething,evenwhendressedinthegreysandpurplesofthebereaved. ForMariawasanorphan.Hermotherhaddiedinherbabyhoodandherfatherjusttwomonthsago,leavingsomanydebtsthateverythinghepossessed,includingthebeautifulLondonhousewiththefanlightoverthedoorandthetallwindowslookingoutoverthegardenofthequietLondonSquare,whereMariahadlivedthroughoutthewholeofhershortlife,hadhadtobesoldtopaythem. WhenthelawyershadatlastsettledeverythingtotheirsatisfactionitwasfoundthattherewasonlyjustenoughmoneylefttoconveyherandMissHeliotropeandWigginsbycoachtotheWestCountry,apartoftheworldthattheyhadneverseen,wheretheyweretolivewithMaria'snearestlivingrelative,herfather'scousin,SirBenjaminMerryweather,whomtheyhadneverseeneither,inhismanorhouseofMoonacreinthevillageofSilverydew. ButitwasnotherorphanedstatethathaddepressedMariaandmadeherturntothecontemplationofherbootsforcomfort.Hermothershedidnotremember;herfather,asoldier,whohadnearlyalwaysbeenabroadwithhisregiment,andwhodidnotcareforchildrenanyhow,hadneverhadmuchholduponheraffections;nottheholdthatMissHeliotropehad,whohadcometoherwhenshewasonlyafewmonthsold,hadbeenfirsthernurseandthenhergoverness,andhadlavisheduponherallthelovethatshehadeverknown.IfshehadlostMissHeliotropethatwouldhavebeenadifferentstoryaltogether.No,whatwasdepressingMariawasthewretchednessofthisjourneyandthediscomfortofcountrylifethatitsurelyforeboded. Mariaknewnothingaboutthecountry.ShewasaLondonladybornandbred,andshelovedluxury,andinthatbeautifulhouselookingoutontheLondonSquareshehadhadit;eventhoughithadturnedoutatherfather'sdeaththatshereallyoughtn'ttohavehadit,becausetherehadnotbeenthemoneytopayforit. Andnow?
JudgingbythiscarriagetherewouldnotbemanycomfortsatMoonacreManor.Itwasanawfulconveyance. IthadmetthematExeter,andwasevenmoreuncomfortablethanthestagecoachthathadbroughtthemfromLondon.Thecushionsontheseatwerehardandmoth-eaten,andthefloorhadchickens'feathersandbitsofstrawblowingaboutintheicydraughtsthatsweptinthroughtheill-fittingdoors.Thetwopiebaldhorses,thoughtheyhadshining coatsandwereobviouslywelllovedandwell-caredfor,afactwhichMarianoticedatoncebecausesheadoredhorses,wereoldandstoutandmovedslowly.Andthecoachmanwasawizenedlittleoldmanwholookedmorelikeagnomethanahumancreature. Hewasclothedinamany-capedgreatcoatsopatchedbypiecesofmaterialofallcolorsoftherainbowthatitwasimpossibleeventoguessatitsoriginalcolor,andahugecurly-brimmedhatofwornbeaverthathadperhapsoncebelongedtoSirBenjaminbecauseitwassomuchtoolargeforhimthatitcamerightdownoverhisfaceandrested uponthebridgeofhisnose,sothatonecouldscarcelyseeanythingofhisfaceexcepthiswidetoothlesssmileandthegreystubbleuponhisill-shavenchin.Yetheseemedamiableandhadbeenfullofconversationwhenhetuckedthemupinthecarriage,coveringtheirkneestenderlywithatornandtatteredrug,onlyowingtohislackofteeththeyhadfounditdifficulttounderstandhim.AndnowinthethickFebruarymistthatshroudedthecountrysidetheycouldscarcelyseehimthroughthesmallwindowinthefrontofthecarriage.Norcouldtheyseeanythingofthecountrythroughwhichtheywerepassing.Theonlythingtheyknewaboutitwasthattheroadwassofullofrutsandpitsthattheywerejoltedfromsidetosideandflungupanddownasthoughthecarriagewereplayingbattledoreandshuttlecockwiththem.AndsoonitwouldbedarkandtherewouldbenoneofthefashionablenewgaslampsthatnowadaysilluminedtheLondonstreets;onlythedeepblackawfuldarknessofthecountry.Anditwasbitterlycold,andtheyhadbeentravelingforwhatseemedlikeacentury,andstillthereseemednosignsoftheirevergettingthere. MissHeliotroperaisedherbookofessaysandhelditwithinaninchofhernose,determinedtogettotheendoftheoneaboutendurancebeforedarknessfell.Shewouldreaditmanytimesinthemonthstocome,shehadnodoubt,ifthisdreadfulcarriagewereanyindicationofthekindoflifethatawaitedheratMoonacreManor--togetherwiththeoneuponthelovethatneverfails.Thislastessay,sheremembered,shehadreadforthefirsttimeontheeveningoftheday whenshehadarrivedtotakechargeofthemotherlesslittleMaria,andhadfoundherchargethemostunattractivespecimenofafemaleinfantthatshehadeverseteyesupon,withherqueersilveryeyesandherair,eveninbabyhood,ofknowingthatherbloodwasblueandthinkingalotofherselfinconsequence. Nevertheless,afterreadingthatessayshehadmadeuphermindthatshewouldloveMaria,andthatherlovewouldneverfailthechilduntildeathpartedthem. AtfirstMissHeliotrope'sloveforMariahadbeensomewhatforced.Shehadmadeandmendedherclotheswithgrimdeterminationandwitharatherdistressinglackofimagination,andhowevernaughtyshewashadappliedthecaneonlyverysparingly,beingmoreconcernedtowinthechild'saffectionthanwiththewelfareofherimmortalsoul.Bu