16What You Pawn I Will Redeem.docx

16What You Pawn I Will Redeem.docx

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16WhatYouPawnIWillRedeem

PassageSixteen

ShermanAlexie

b.1966

WhilemostofhismemorablecharactersareNativeAmericans,AlexiechallengesthetypicalmythsaboutIndiansthatarestillabundanttoday.Forexample,inresponsetothepopularbeliefthatNativeAmericanshaveanaturalorspecialconnectiontotheland,thatthey’renaturallyenvironmentalists,hedescribesgrowingupwith“auntsandunclesandcousinsthrowingcansoutthewindow.”ManywritersproduceIndianliterature,heexplains,bythrowingin“acoupleofbirdsandfourdirectionsandcornpollen.”Incontrast,Alexiewantstowriteabout“thedailylivesofIndians,”whicharenotasromanticasthemythswouldhaveusbelieve.“WhatYouPawnIWillRedeem”wasfirstpublishedinTheNewYorkerin2003andlaterthatyearinacollectioncalledTenLittleIndians.

WhatYouPawnIWillRedeem

Noon

1.Onedayyouhaveahomeandthenextdayyoudon’t,butI’mnotgoingtotellyoumyparticularreasonsforbeinghomeless,becauseit’smysecretstory,andIndianshavetoworkhardtokeepsecretsfromhungrywhitefolks.

2.I’maSpokaneIndianboy,anInteriorSalish,andmypeoplehavelivedwithinahundred-mileradiusofSpokane,movedtoSeattletwenty-treeyearsagoforcollege,flunkedoutaftertwosemesters,workedvariousblue-and-bluer-collarjobs,marriedtwoorthreetimes,fatheredtwoorthreekids,andthenwentcrazy.Ofcourse,crazyisnottheofficialdefinitionofmymentalproblem,butIdon’tthinkasocialdisorderfitsit,either,becausethatmakesmesoundlikeI’maserialkillerorsomething.I’veneverhurtanotherhumanbeing,or,atleast,notphysically,I’vebrokenafewheartsinmytime,butwe’vealldonethat,soI’mnothingspecialinthatregard.I’maboringheartbreaker,too.Ineverdatedormarriedmorethanonewomanatatime.Ididn’tbreakheartsintopiecesovernight.Ibrokethemslowlyandcarefully.AndIdidn’tsetanyland-speedrecordsrunningoutthedoor.Piecebypiece,Idisappeared.I’vebeendisappearingeversince.

3.I’vebeenhomelessforsixyearsnow.Ifthere’ssuchathingasaneffectivehomelessman,thenIsupposeI’meffective.BeinghomelessisprobablytheonlythingI’veeverbeengoodat.Iknowwheretogetthebestfreefood.I’vemadefriendswithrestaurantandconveniencestoremanagerswholetmeusetheirbathrooms.AndIdon’tmeanthepublicbathrooms,either.Imeantheemployees’bathrooms,thecleanoneshiddenbehindthekitchenorthepantryorthecooler.Iknowitsoundsstrangetobeproudofthis,butitmeansalottome,beingtrustworthyenoughtopissinsomebodyelse’scleanbathroom.Maybeyoudon’tunderstandthevalueofacleanbathroom,butIdo.

4.Probablynoneofthisinterestsyou.HomelessIndiansareeverywhereinSeattle.We’recommonandboring,andyouwalkrightonbyus,withmaybealookofangerordisgustorevensadnessattheterriblefateofthenoblesavage.Butwehavedreamsandfamilies.I’mfriendswithahomelessPlainsIndianmanwhosesonistheeditorofabigtimenewspaperbackeast.Ofcourse,that’shisstory,butweIndiansaregreatstorytellersandliarsandmythmakers,somaybethatPlainsIndianhoboisjustaplainoldeverydayIndian.I’mkindofsuspiciousofhim,becauseheintensifieshimselfonlyasPlainsIndian,agenericterm,andnotbeaspecifictribe.WhenIaskedhimwhyhewouldn’ttellmeexactlywhatheis,hesaid,“Doanyofusknowexactlywhatweare?

”Yeah,great,aphilosophizingIndian.“Hey,”Isaid,“yougottohaveahometobethathomely.”Hejustlaughedandflippedmetheeagleandwalkedaway.

5.Iwanderthestreetswitharegularcrew—myteammates,mydefenders,myposse.It’sRoseofSharon,Junior,andme.Wemattertooneanotherifwedon’tmattertoanybodyelse.RoseofSharonisabigwoman,aboutsevenfeettallifyou’remeasuringoveralleffectandaboutfivefeettallifyou’reonlytalkingaboutthephysical.She’saYakamaIndianoftheWishramvariety.JuniorisaColville,butthereareabout199tribesthatmakeuptheColville,sohecouldbeanything.He’sgood-looking,though,likehejuststeppedoutofsome“Don’tLittertheEarth”publicserviceadvertisement.He’sgotthosegreatbigcheekbonesthatarelikeplanets,youknow,withlittlemoonsorbitingthem.Hegetsmejealous,jealous,andjealous.IfyouputmeandJuniornexttoeachother,he’stheBeforeColumbusArrivedIndianandI’mtheAfterColumbusArrivedIndia.IamlivingproofofthehorribledamagethatcolonialismhasdonetousSkins.ButI’mnotgoingtoletyouknowhowscaredIsometimesgetofhistoryanditsways.I’mastrongman,andknowthatsilenceisthebestmethodofdealingwithwhitefolks.

6.Thiswholestoryreallystartedatlunchtime,whenRoseofSharon,Junior,andIwerepanningthehandledownatPikePlaceMarket.Afterabouttwohoursofnegotiating,weearnedfivedollars—goodenoughforabottleoffortifiedcouragefromthemostbeautiful7-Elevenintheworld.Soweheadedoverthatway,feelinglikewarriordrunks,andwewalkedpastthispawnshopI’dnevernoticedbefore.Andthatwasstrange,becauseweIndianshavebuilt-inpawnshopradar.Butthestrangestthingofallwastheoldpowwow-danceregaliaIsawhanginginthewindow.

7.“That’smygrandmother’sregalia,”IsaidtoRoseofSharonandJunior.

8.“Howyouknowforsure?

”Juniorasked.

9.Ididn’tknowforsure,becauseIhadn’tseenthatregaliainpersonever.I’donlyseenphotographsofmygrandmotherdancinginit.Andthoseweretakenbeforesomebodystoleitfromher,fiftyyearsago.Butitsurelookedlikemymemoryofit,andithadallthesamecolorfeathersandbeadsthatmyfamilysewedintoourpowwowregalia.

10.“There’sonlyonewaytoknowforsure,”Isaid.

11.SoRoseofSharon,Junior,andIwalkedintothepawnshopandgreetedtheoldwhitemanworkingbehindthecounter.

12.“HowcanIhelpyou?

”heasked.

13.“That’smygrandmother’spowwowregaliainyourwindow,”Isaid.“Somebodystoleitfromherfiftyyearsago,andmyfamilyhasbeensearchingforiteversince.”

14.ThepawnbrokerlookedatmelikeIwasaliar.Iunderstood.Pawnshopsarefilledwithliars.

15.“I’mnotlying,”Isaid.“Askmyfriendshere.They’lltellyou.”

16.“He’sthemosthonestIndianIknow,”RoseofSharonsaid.

17.“Allright,honestIndian,”thepawnbrokersaid.“I’llgiveyouthebenefitofdoubt.Canyouproveit’syourgrandmother’sregalia?

”

18.Becausetheydon’twanttobeperfect,becauseonlyGodisperfect,Indianpeoplesewflawsintotheirpowwowregalia.Myfamilyalwayssewedoneyellowbeadsomewhereonourregalia.Butwealwayshiditsothatyouhadtosearchreallyhardtofindit.

19.“Ifitreallyismygrandmother’s,”Isaid,“therewillbeoneyellowbeadhiddensomewhereonit.”

20.“Allright,then,”thepawnbrokersaid.“Let’stakealook.”

21.Hepulledtheregaliaoutofthewindow,laiditdownontheglasscounter,andwesearchedforthatyellowbeadandfoundithiddenbeneaththearmpit.

22.“Thereitis,”thepawnbrokersaid.Hedidn’tsoundsurprised.“Youwereright.Thisisyourgrandmother’sregalia.”

23.“It’sbeenmissingforfiftyyears,”Juniorsaid.

24.“Hey,Junior,”Isaid.“It’smyfamily’sstory.Letmetellit.”

25.“Allright,”hesaid.“Iapologize.Yougoahead.”

26.“It’sbeenmissingforfiftyyears,”Isaid.

27.“That’shisfamily’ssadstory,”RoseofSharonsaid.“Areyougoingtogiveitbacktohim?

”

28.“Thatwouldbetherightthingtodo,”thepawnbrokersaid.“ButIcan’taffordtodotherightthing.Ipaidathousanddollarsforthis.Ican’tjustgiveawayathousanddollars.”

29.“Wecouldgotothecopsandtellthemitwasstolen,”RoseofSharonsaid.

30.“Hey,”Isaidtoher.“Don’tgothreateningpeople.”

31.Thepawnbrokersighed.Hewasthinkingaboutthepossibilities.

32.“Well,Isupposeyoucouldgotothecops,”hesaid.“ButIdon’tthinkthey’dbelieveawordyousaid.”

33.Hesoundedsadaboutthat.Asifhewassorryfortakingadvantageofourdisadvantages.

34.“What’syourname?

”thepawnbrokeraskedme.

35.“Jackson,”Isaid.

36.“Isthatfirstorlast?

”

37.“Both,”Isaid.

38.“Areyouserious?

”

39.“Yes,it’strue.MymotherandfathernamedmeJacksonJackson.MyfamilynicknameisJacksonSquared.Myfamilyisfunny.”

40.“Allright,JacksonJackson,”thepawnbrokersaid.“Youwouldn’thappentohaveathousanddollars,wouldyou?

”

41.“We’vegotfivedollarstotal,”Isaid.

42.“That’stoobad,”hesaid,andthoughthardaboutthepossibilities.“I’dsellittoyouforathousanddollarsifyouhadit.Heck,tomakeitfair,I’dsellittoyouforninehundredandninety-ninedollars.I’dloseadollar.Thatwouldbethemoralthingtodointhiscase.Toloseadollarwouldbetherightthing.”

43.“We’vegotfivedollarstotal,”Isaidagain.

44.“That’stoobad,”hesaidoncemore,andthoughtharderaboutthepossibilities.“Howaboutthis?

I’llgiveyoutwenty-fourhourstocomeupwithninehundredandninety-ninedollars.YoucomebackhereatlunchtimetomorrowwiththemoneyandI’llsellitbacktoyou.Howdoesthatsound?

”

45.“Itsoundsallright,”Isaid.

46.“Allright,then,”hesaid.“Wehaveadeal.AndI’llgetyoustarted.Here’stwentybucks.”

47.Heopeneduphiswalletandpulledoutacrisptwenty-dollarbillandgaveittome.AndRoseofSharon,Junior,andIwalkedoutintothedaylighttosearchforninehundredandseventy-fourmoredollars.

1p.m.

48.RoseofSharon,Junior,andIcarriedourtwenty-dollarbillandourfivedollarsinloosechangeovertothe7-Elevenandboughtthreebottlesofimagination.Weneededtofigureouthowtoraiseallthatmoneyinonlyoneday.Thinkingha