英语.docx

1、英语Those are the offices and these are the cubicles. Thats my cubicle there, and this is your cubicle. This is your phone. Never answer your phone. Let the Voicemail System answer it. This is your Voicemail System Manual. There are no personal phone calls allowed. We do, however, allow for emergencie

2、s. If you must make an emergency phone call, ask your supervisor first. If you cant find your supervisor, ask Phillip Spiers, who sits over there. Hell check with Clarissa Nicks, who sits over there. If you make an emergency phone call without asking, you may be let go.These are your in- and out-box

3、es. All the forms in your inbox must be logged in by the date shown in the upper- left- hand corner, initialed by you in the upper-right-hand corner, and distributed to the Processing Analyst whose name is numerically coded in the lower-left-hand corner. The lower-right-hand corner is left blank. He

4、res your Processing Analyst Numerical Code Index. And heres your Forms Processing Procedures Manual.You must pace your work. What do I mean? Im glad you asked that. We pace our work according to the eight-hour workday. If you have twelve hours of work in your in-box, for example, you must compress t

5、hat work into the eight-hour day. If you have one hour of work in your in-box, you must expand that work to fill the eight- hour day. That was a good question. Feel free to ask questions. Ask too many questions, however, and you may be let go.That is our receptionist. She is a temp. We go through re

6、ceptionists here. They quit with alarming frequency. Be polite and civil to the temps. Learn their names, and invite them to lunch occasionally. But dont get close to them, as it only makes it more difficult when they leave. And they always leave. You can be sure of that.The mens room is over there.

7、 The womens room is over there. John LaFountaine, who sits over there, uses the womens room occasionally. He says it is accidental. We know better, but we let it pass. John LaFountaine is harmless, his forays into the forbidden territory of the womens room simply a benign thrill, a faint blip on the

8、 dull, flat line of his life.Russell Nash, who sits in the cubicle to your left, is in love with Amanda Pierce, who sits in the cubicle to your right. They ride the same bus together after work. For Amanda Pierce, it is just a tedious bus ride made less tedious by the idle nattering of Russell Nash.

9、 But for Russell Nash, it is the highlight of his day. It is the highlight of his life. Russell Nash has put on forty pounds and grows fatter with each passing month, nibbling on chips and cookies while peeking glumly over the partitions at Amanda Pierce and gorging himself at home on cold pizza and

10、 ice cream while watching adult videos on TV.Amanda Pierce, in the cubicle to your right, has a six-year old son named Jamie, who is autistic. Her cubicle is plastered from top to bottom with the boys crayon artworksheet after sheet of precisely drawn concentric circles and ellipses, in black and ye

11、llow. She rotates them every other Friday. Be sure to comment on them. Amanda Pierce also has a husband, who is a lawyer. He subjects her to an escalating array of painful and humiliating sex games, to which Amanda Pierce reluctantly submits. She comes to work exhausted and freshly wounded each morn

12、ing, wincing from the abrasions on her breasts, or the bruises on her abdomen, or the second- degree burns on the backs of her thighs.But were not supposed to know any of this. Do not let on. If you let on, you may be let go.Amanda Pierce, who tolerates Russell Nash, is in love with Albert Bosch, wh

13、ose office is over there. Albert Bosch, who only dimly registers Amanda Pierces existence, has eyes only for Ellie Tapper, who sits over there. Ellie Tapper, who hates Albert Bosch, would walk through fire for Curtis Lance. But Curtis Lance hates Ellie Tapper. Isnt the world a funny place? Not in th

14、e ha-ha sense, of course.Anika Bloom sits in that cubicle. Last year, while reviewing quarterly reports in a meeting with Barry Hacker, Anika Blooms left palm began to bleed. She fell into a trance, stared into her hand, and told Barry Hacker when and how his wife would die. We laughed it off. She w

15、as, after all, a new employee. But Barry Hackers wife is dead. So unless you want to know exactly when and how youll die, never talk to Anika Bloom.Colin Heavey sits in that cubicle over there. He was new once, just like you. We warned him about Anika Bloom. But at last years Christmas Potluck he fe

16、lt sorry for her when he saw that no one was talking to her. Colin Heavey brought her a drink. He hasnt been himself since. Colin Heavey is doomed. Theres nothing he can do about it, and we are powerless to help him. Stay away from Colin Heavey. Never give any of your work to him. If he asks to do s

17、omething, tell him you have to check with me. If he asks again, tell him I havent gotten back to you.This is the fire exit. There are several on this floor, and they are marked accordingly. We have a Floor Evacuation Review every three months, and an Escape Route Quiz once a month. We have our Biann

18、ual Fire Drill twice a year, and our Annual Earthquake Drill once a year. These are precautions only. These things never happen.For your information, we have a comprehensive health plan. Any catastrophic illness, any unforeseen tragedy, is completely covered. All dependents are completely covered. L

19、arry Bagdikian, who sits over there, has six daughters. If anything were to happen to any of his girls, or to all of them, if all six were to simultaneously fall victim to illness or injurystricken with a hideous degenerative muscle disease or some rare toxic blood disorder, sprayed with semiautomat

20、ic gunfire while on a class field trip, or attacked in their bunk beds by some prowling nocturnal lunaticif any of this were to pass, Larrys girls would all be taken care of. Larry Bagdikian would not have to pay one dime. He would have nothing to worry about.We also have a generous vacation and sic

21、k leave policy. We have an excellent disability insurance plan. We have a stable and profitable pension fund. We get group discounts for the symphony, and block seating at the ballpark. We get commuter ticket books for the bridge. We have direct deposit. We are all members of Costco.This is our kitc

22、henette. And this, this is our Mr. Coffee. We have a coffee pool into which we each pay two dollars a week for coffee, filters, sugar, and Coffee-mate. If you prefer Cremora or half-and-half to Coffee-mate, there is a special pool for three dollars a week. If you prefer SweetN Low to sugar, there is

23、 a special pool for two-fifty a week. We do not do decaf. You are allowed to join the coffee pool of your choice, but you are not allowed to touch the Mr. Coffee.This is the micro wave oven. You are allowed to heat food in the microwave oven. You are not, however, allowed to cook food in the microwa

24、ve oven.We get one hour for lunch. We also get one fifteen-minute break in the morning and one fifteen-minute break in the afternoon. Always take your breaks. If you skip a break, it is gone forever. For your information, your break is a privilege, not a right. If you abuse the break policy, we are

25、authorized to rescind your breaks. Lunch, however, is a right, not a privilege. If you abuse the lunch policy, our hands will be tied and we will be forced to look the other way. We will not enjoy that.This is the refrigerator. You may put your lunch in it. Barry Hacker, who sits over there, steals

26、food from this refrigerator. His petty theft is an outlet for his grief. Last New Years Eve, while kissing his wife, a blood vessel burst in her brain. Barry Hackers wife was two months pregnant at the time and lingered in a coma for half a year before she died. It was a tragic loss for Barry Hacker

27、. He hasnt been himself since. Barry Hackers wife was a beautiful woman. She was also completely covered. Barry Hacker did not have to pay one dime. But his dead wife haunts him. She haunts all of us. We have seen her, reflected in the monitors of our computers, moving past our cubicles. We have see

28、n the dim shadow of her face in our photocopies. She pencils herself in in the receptionists appointment book with the notation “To see Barry Hacker.” She has left messages in the receptionists Voicemail box, messages garbled by the electronic chirrups and buzzes in the phone line, her voice echoing

29、 from an immense distance within the ambient hum. But the voice is hers. And beneath the voice, beneath the tidal whoosh of static and hiss, the gurgling and crying of a baby can be heard.In any case, if you bring a lunch, put a little something extra in the bag for Barry Hacker. We have four Barrys

30、 in this office. Isnt that a coincidence?This is Matthew Paynes office. He is our Unit Manager, and his door is always closed. We have never seen him, and you will never see him. But he is there. You can be sure of that. He is all around us.This is the Custodians Closet. You have no business in the

31、Custodians Closet.And this, this is our Supplies Cabinet. If you need supplies, see Curtis Lance. He will log you in on the Supplies Cabinet Authorization Log, then give you a Supplies Authorization Slip. Present your pink copy of the Supplies Authorization Slip to Ellie Tapper. She will log you in

32、on the Supplies Cabinet Key Log, then give you the key. Because the Supplies Cabinet is located outside the Unit Managers office, you must be very quiet. Gather your supplies quietly. The Supplies Cabinet is divided into four sections. Section One contains letterhead stationery, blank paper and enve

33、lopes, memo pads and note pads, and so on. Section Two contains pens and pencils and typewriter and printer ribbons, and the like. In Section Three we have erasers, correction fluids, transparent tapes, glue sticks, et cetera. And in Section Four we have paper clips and pushpins and scissors and razor blades. And here