7habitstree.docx

1、7habitstree曾被美国时代周刊称为“25位最有影响力的美国人之一”的柯维先生，也就是我们熟悉的高效能人士的7个习惯的作者，曾经还专门针对孩子写过另外两本著作：The 7 Habits of Happy Kids和The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens。美国学校把它们归纳为孩子成长的“7棵习惯树”。习惯1Be proactive youre in charge积极主动，我的人生我负责习惯标准：对自己负责，做事积极主动；管理自己的行为、态度和情绪；做了错事不怪别人，而应反省自己；不用别人说我也会去做正确的事情，哪怕没有人在看。I am a respon

2、sible person. I take initiative. I choose my actions, attitudes and moods. I do not blame others for my wrong actions. I do the right thing without being asked, even when no one is looking.操作实例：曾经很长一段时间都是我在帮逃逃准备第二天上学的书包，后来发现适得其反。有一次我没在家，他就完全蒙了，第二天上课要交的作业、要用的文具都没装进书包，这让我感觉他对我的过分依赖。后来我用两天的时间，让他看着我收拾书包

3、，然后让他自己装，最后再检查一遍，告诉他有什么东西漏掉了，经过一周的训练，他完全可以自己收拾书包了。接着，我把越来越多的事情交给他自己负责，比如收拾玩具房、洗自己的袜子、甚至帮忙制定假期自驾游路线等，很多家长怕把事情交给孩子会弄遭，可是谁第一次做事不是迷迷糊糊的呢？多给他一些尝试的机会，慢慢地，你会发现孩子的能力超乎你的想象！Your life doesnt just happen. Whether you know it or not, it is carefully designed by you. The choices, after all, are yours. You choose

4、 happiness. You choose sadness. You choose decisiveness. You choose ambivalence. You choose success. You choose failure. You choose courage. You choose fear. Just remember that every moment, every situation, provides a new choice. And in doing so, it gives you a perfect opportunity to do things diff

5、erently to produce more positive results.Habit 1: Be Proactive is about taking responsibility for your life. You cant keep blaming everything on your parents or grandparents. Proactive people recognize that they are response-able. They dont blame genetics, circumstances, conditions, or conditioning

6、for their behavior. They know they choose their behavior. Reactive people, on the other hand, are often affected by their physical environment. They find external sources to blame for their behavior. If the weather is good, they feel good. If it isnt, it affects their attitude and performance, and t

7、hey blame the weather. All of these external forces act as stimuli that we respond to. Between the stimulus and the response is your greatest power-you have the freedom to choose your response. One of the most important things you choose is what you say. Your language is a good indicator of how you

8、see yourself. A proactive person uses proactive language-I can, I will, I prefer, etc. A reactive person uses reactive language-I cant, I have to, if only. Reactive people believe they are not responsible for what they say and do-they have no choice.Instead of reacting to or worrying about condition

9、s over which they have little or no control, proactive people focus their time and energy on things they can control. The problems, challenges, and opportunities we face fall into two areas-Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence.Proactive people focus their efforts on their Circle of Influence. T

10、hey work on the things they can do something about: health, children, problems at work. Reactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern-things over which they have little or no control: the national debt, terrorism, the weather. Gaining an awareness of the areas in which we expend our e

11、nergies in is a giant step in becoming proactive.习惯2Begin with the end in mind - Have a plan有目标，有计划习惯标准：做事前先定计划和目标，努力去做有意义和能带来积极影响的事。I plan ahead and set goals. I do things that have meaning and make a difference. I am an important part of my classroom and contribute to my schools mission and vision

12、. I look ways to be a good citizen.操作实例：上周拜访了一同行，他们团队有位从美国回来过暑假实习的学生，他说这位实习生最大的特点是，每次给她分配任务时，她第一个问题肯定是“for what?”以终为始，目标感很强，然后就是定计划，列清单，所以每次都把任务完成得很出色。逃逃刚放暑假，我就和他一起列了张计划表，把想做的事情列下来，再写出要做这个事的目标和计划是什么，主要分为以下几个问题：你打算做一件什么事？做这件事的目的和意义是什么？通过做这件事想要达到什么样的效果和结果？计划用多长时间做完这件事？So, what do you want to be when y

13、ou grow up? That question may appear a little trite, but think about it for a moment. Are you-right now-who you want to be, what you dreamed youd be, doing what you always wanted to do? Be honest. Sometimes people find themselves achieving victories that are empty-successes that have come at the exp

14、ense of things that were far more valuable to them. If your ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step you take gets you to the wrong place faster.Habit 2 is based on imagination-the ability to envision in your mind what you cannot at present see with your eyes. It is based on the prin

15、ciple that all things are created twice. There is a mental (first) creation, and a physical (second) creation. The physical creation follows the mental, just as a building follows a blueprint. If you dont make a conscious effort to visualize who you are and what you want in life, then you empower ot

16、her people and circumstances to shape you and your life by default. Its about connecting again with your own uniqueness and then defining the personal, moral, and ethical guidelines within which you can most happily express and fulfill yourself. Begin with the End in Mind means to begin each day, ta

17、sk, or project with a clear vision of your desired direction and destination, and then continue by flexing your proactive muscles to make things happen.One of the best ways to incorporate Habit 2 into your life is to develop a Personal Mission Statement. It focuses on what you want to be and do. It

18、is your plan for success. It reaffirms who you are, puts your goals in focus, and moves your ideas into the real world. Your mission statement makes you the leader of your own life. You create your own destiny and secure the future you envision.习惯3Put first things first - Work first, then play做事分主次，

19、先工作，后娱乐习惯标准：不该做的事，勇于说不，在重要的事情上花时间；学会制定优先级，做日程表，并执行计划；对自己有纪律，做事井井有条。I spend my time on things that are most important. This means I say no to things I know I should not do. I set priorities, make a schedule, and follow my plan. I am disciplined and organized.操作实例：如果一件重要和一件紧要的事情放在你面前，你会先做哪个？做事情要有优先级是美

20、国孩子从小学一年级开始就受到的教育，点击这里查看美国一年级学的任务管理矩阵。自从学会这个方法，逃逃便屡试不爽，开始把自己的事情规划得清清楚楚，相信时间一长，他便能迅速区分开，哪些事该做，哪些事不该做，该做的事先做哪个等等。养成这个好习惯，能让孩子在整个成长过程中保持理性，更愉快高效地完成学习及生活中的各项事务。To live a more balanced existence, you have to recognize that not doing everything that comes along is okay. Theres no need to overextend yourse

21、lf. All it takes is realizing that its all right to say no when necessary and then focus on your highest priorities.Habit 1 says, Youre in charge. Youre the creator. Being proactive is about choice. Habit 2 is the first, or mental, creation. Beginning with the End in Mind is about vision. Habit 3 is

22、 the second creation, the physical creation. This habit is where Habits 1 and 2 come together. It happens day in and day out, moment-by-moment. It deals with many of the questions addressed in the field of time management. But thats not all its about. Habit 3 is about life management as well-your pu

23、rpose, values, roles, and priorities. What are first things? First things are those things you, personally, find of most worth. If you put first things first, you are organizing and managing time and events according to the personal priorities you established in Habit 2.习惯4Think win-win - Everyone c

24、an win从双赢角度考虑问题，利己利人习惯标准：勇于争取自己想要的，但同时也会考虑别人的需求；有矛盾的时候，寻求能平衡彼此需求的解决方案。I balance courage for getting what I want with consideration for what others want. I make deposits in others Emotional Bank Accounts. Whenconflicts arise, I look for third alternatives.操作实例：几个月前，逃逃的小姨给他寄了一个玩具，刚好邻居家的小孩Jose也在，看到玩具后非

25、常喜欢，就央求逃逃借给他玩几天，可逃逃怎么也不肯，还把玩具藏了起来。一天放学后我看他兴致冲冲的把玩具拿出来玩，突然Jose也跑来了，他便立马把自己也躲进衣橱里。事后我告诉他，应该think win-win的方式来解决这个问题，不然你自己玩不好，Jose也不高兴，相当于lose-lose。后来结果就是逃逃非常热情的把玩具带到Jose家，两人开开心心地一起玩了一下午，大家都win了。Think Win-Win isnt about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique. It is a character-based code for human

26、interaction and collaboration.Most of us learn to base our self-worth on comparisons and competition. We think about succeeding in terms of someone else failing-that is, if I win, you lose; or if you win, I lose. Life becomes a zero-sum game. There is only so much pie to go around, and if you get a

27、big piece, there is less for me; its not fair, and Im going to make sure you dont get anymore. We all play the game, but how much fun is it really?Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human i

28、nteractions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. We both get to eat the pie, and it tastes pretty darn good!A person or organization that approaches conflicts with a win-win attitude possesses three vital character traits:1. Integrity: sticking with your tru

29、e feelings, values, and commitments2. Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of others3. Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyoneMany people think in terms of either/or: either youre nice or youre tough. Win-win requi

30、res that you be both. It is a balancing act between courage and consideration. To go for win-win, you not only have to be empathic, but you also have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, you also have to be brave. To do that-to achieve that balance between courage and

31、consideration-is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to win-win.习惯5Seek first to understand, then to be understood先去理解别人，再求被人理解习惯标准：仔细聆听别人的主意和情感，努力从他人角度去理解问题；听别人说话的时候不插嘴、不打扰，并注视他的眼睛；能自信地说出自己的主意。I listen to other peoples ideas and feelings. I try to see things from their view points. I li

32、sten to others without interrupting. I am confident in voicing my ideas. I look people in the eyes when talking.操作实例：用大家的老话说，这点就是学会站到对方的角度去考虑问题，先做到尊重别人，才会得到别人的尊重。大家不妨在生活中试试“Show your respect”这句话，这句话是美国父母们经常给孩子说的，印象中听过好多次，后来我自己也学会了。孩子们从小就会被要求和人沟通要认真听、不打断，你可以表示不同意，但是必须要show your respect。Communication is the most important skill in life. You spend years learning how to read and write, and years learning how to speak. But what about listening? What training have you had that enables you to listen so you really, deep