浙江高考英语高分作文详细点评及写作指导.docx

1、浙江高考英语高分作文详细点评及写作指导2017年浙江高考英语高分作文详细点评及写作指导在这篇文章里面有应用文评分原则，以及有关邀请信的写法。今天推出的作文由优秀考生考后根据回忆整理而成。感谢我们精英群里的老师提供第一手资料！感谢我的朋友们！感谢资源库的志愿者们提供第一手资料！谢谢分享！先从评分标准开始，然后提供原文，思路解读，作品展示，评析，欢迎吐槽。（应用文比较简单，不进行思路分析了。）文章有点长，应用文两篇。续写四篇。每篇有点评。后附一些拓展素材，如细节描写等。由于时间仓促，能力有限，不当之处，敬请谅解。应用文评分原则:本题总分为15 分，按以下5 个档次给分。评分时，先根据文章的内容和语

2、言初步确定其所属档次，然后以该档次的要求来衡量，确定或调整档次，最后给分。第一档：（13 分）只能写出一两个要点；语言错误很多，只有个别句子正确；第二档：（46 分）能写出部分要点；语言错误多，影响意思表达；第三档：（79 分）能写明基本要点；语言虽有较多错误，但能基本达意；第四档：（1012 分）能写明全部或绝大部分要点；语言有少量错误；行文不够连贯，表达基本清楚；第五档：（1315 分）能写明全部要点；语言基本无误；行文连贯，表达清楚。3词数少于60 和多于100 的，从总分中减去2 分。4评分时，应注意的主要内容为：时态、人称、内容要点、应用词汇和语法结构的数量和准确性、上下文的连贯性及

3、语言的得体性。5拼写与标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面，评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑。英、美拼写及词汇用法均可接受。6如书写较差，以至影响交际，将分数降低一个档次。邀请信四要素1. 开篇点题，发出邀请。2. 介绍邀请参加的活动（内容、地点、时间、注意事项）3. 夸赞对方。希望得到回复。4.再次发出邀请。【优秀句式】1. Im writing to tell you that we intend to. and I sincerely invite you to go with us on behalf of our class.2.You may equip yourself with

4、 a camera to record the beautiful scenery and an umbrella or a raincoat is also necessary in case you are caught in a rain.3.Your participation can surely add color to our trip and we are all looking forward to your involvement.应用文原题大意第四部分 写作（共两节，满分40分）第一节 应用文写作（满分15分） 假如你是李华，你们学校的外教Mr. Hall寒假不回国。你打

5、算邀请他去你家里一起过春节。 文章内容需包含以下要点：1.时间2.一同过节的家人3.活动注意：1.词数80左右；2.可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。优秀学生现场作文1Dear Mr. Hall,I hear that youre not going to go back to your country in the coming winter vocation,so Im writing to invite you to spend the Spring Festival with my family together. If you considerately accept my invit

6、ation, Ill ask my parents to pick you up next Monday and drive you straight to my house where my brother,sister and grandparents will all be in.Spring Festival plays a significant role in every Chineselife,so various activities are indispensable in adding flavor to the festival. Well have a big feas

7、t together,gathering around the table and praying for next years good luck.After the meal,a lucky charm and a red pocket which contains lucky money will be given to everyone and some lucky words are said to each other.Everything will overflow with happiness then. I sincerely hope that you can accept

8、 my earnest invitation and can reply to me at your earliest convenience. Yours Li Hua 聂同学习作简要点评该生文章开头点名写信目的：邀请外教Mr. Hall来家里过春节。简明扼要。中间段表明：邀请外教过来后，我们这边的安排春节的习俗（家人团聚等）以及热闹景象描述了一番。 在语言层面：该生用drive you straight to my house where my brother,sister and grandparents will all be in 用副词straight修饰drive 表示热情，后面

9、用一个定语从句，表示春节家人都在一起团聚的习俗。之后该生用了一个句子Spring Festival plays a significant role in every Chinese life ，表明春节在中国人的生活中很重要，所以有各种有趣的活动various activities are indispensable in adding flavor to the festival。用了高级词汇indispensable 以及adding flavor to。然后是支撑句：支撑句1 Well have a big feast together,gathering around the tab

10、le and praying for next years good luck.用非谓语动词支撑句2 After the meal,a lucky charm and a red pocket which contains lucky money will be given to everyone and some lucky words are said to each other.用定语从句再一个总结句 Everything will overflow with happiness then.最后，该生在文章结尾提出希望：真诚希望外教接受邀请以及希望得到外教的回复。 该生完全完成了试题规定

11、的任务；文章覆盖了所有内容要点。我们可以看出，该生的表达很符合逻辑，表述清晰，语言基本功扎实，应用了较多的语法结构和词汇.能使用较复杂结构或较高级词汇，具备较强的语言运用能力。属于第五档次，建议得分12分。优秀学生现场作文2Dear Mr. Hall, Hearing that you wont go back this Spring Festival, Im more than honored to invite you to spend it with my family. If it is convenient to you, come to join us on the Spring

12、Festival evening at 6oclock, well offer you some traditional activities. First, well have some Chinese cuisine, like dumplings and noodles. For the next,firework will be played in the starry sky. Then my grandparents will tell some folk tales, dating back to ancient China. Alongside my parents, youl

13、l be bound to leave a memorable impression.Here are my profound thanks！Looking forward to your coming! Yours, Lihua 简要点评这篇习作格式正确，条理并覆盖了所有内容要点，语言优美。作者具备较强的语言运用能力。词汇丰富，比如“offer you some traditional activities；in the starry sky；be bound to leave a memorable impression.等。尝试使用较复杂的结构，如：Then my grandparent

14、s will tell some folk tales, dating back to ancient China.在最后一段profound thanks 建议改为 sincere thanks，更为合理。profound ”深远的“ 一般用来修饰影响、后果。综上所述，这篇习作的得分可以进入第五档。建议得分12分。邀请信素材【篇首句】介绍自己，简要说明活动，并邀请对方。1. Im Wang Ming from YuWen School，the president of the Student Union.我是来自育文学校的王明，学生会主席。2. An English speaking con

15、test of our school will be held on August 6.我们学校有一场英语演讲比赛将在8月6号举行。3. There will be a party in my garden on Sunday.周日，在我的花园里会举行一场聚会。4. Id like to invite you to judge it.我想邀请你做它的裁判。5. Im writing to invite you to.我写信是邀请你.6. I wonder if you can come to.我想知道你是否能来.7. We sincerely hope you can attend it.我们

16、真诚希望你能够参加。8. Its my pleasure/a great honour for me to invite you to.我很荣幸的邀请你.9. Its a pity that you have to go back to America soon. So a farewell party for you will be held in the Sun Club this Saturday evening. Could you come at 6:00 pm?很遗憾你不久就要回美国了。所以，这周六，在阳光俱乐部我们会为你举行一个欢送会。下午六点你能来吗？【篇中句】介绍活动具体内容

17、，并说明受邀人参加理由。1. It will begin at 2:00 pm and last two hours, during which time 15 well-prepared contestants will deliver their speeches.它将于下午两点钟开始，四点钟结束，在此期间将会有十五位准备充分的参赛者发表演讲。2. We will start at 8:00 am and arrive there at 9:00.我们将会在上午八点出发，九点到达那里。3. During the afternoon, well.together.下午，我们会一起.4. Re

18、member to take water and lunch with you.记得带上水和午餐。5. By the way, you may take Bus No. 322 in front of your apartment and it will take you directly to the club.顺便说一下，你可以乘坐你家公寓前的322路公交车，它会直接把你带到俱乐部。6. I know you are a native speaker of English and an English teacher, and I, on behalf of our school, sin

19、cerely invite you to be part of the contest.我知道你的母语是英语，还是一个英语老师。我，代表我们学校，真诚的邀请你来比赛现场。7. Since you are so eager to improve your English, it will prove to be a great chance.既然你如此渴望提高英语，这会是一个很好的机会。8. Im sure that you will enjoy yourself there.我保证你在那里会过得很愉快。【篇尾句】期待对方接受邀请，并期待对方尽快回复。1. Will you be availab

20、le during that time? Please contact me at 1234567 at your earliest convenience.那期间你有空吗？请方便时尽快给我打电话1234567。2. Would you please let me know as soon as possible if you can accept my invitation?请尽快告诉我你能否接受我的邀请好吗？3. We will feel much honored if you could come.如果你能来，我们会非常荣幸。4. We are looking forward to yo

21、ur coming.我们期待着你的到来。5. I am longing to see you soon.我期待着尽早见到你。续写评分标准第五档（21-25分）与所给短文融合度高，与所提供的各段落开头语衔接合理。内容丰富，应用了5个以上短文中标出的关键词语。所使用语法结构和词汇丰富、准确，可能有些许错误，但完全不影响意思表达。有效地使用了词语间的连接成分，所续写短文结构紧凑。第四档（16-20分）与所给短文融合度较高，与所提供的各段落开头语衔接较为合理。内容比较丰富，应用了5个以上短文中标出的关键词语。所使用语法结构和词汇较为丰富、准确，可能有些许错误，但不影响意思表达。比较有效地使用了词语间的

22、连接成分，所续写短文结构紧凑。第三档（11-15分）与所给短文关系较为密切，与所提供的各段落开头语有一定程度衔接。写出了若干有关内容，应用了4个以上短文中标出的关键词语。应用语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求，虽有一些错误，但不影响意思表达。应用简单的句间连接成分，使全文内容连贯。第二档（6-10分）与所给短文关系有一定关系，与所提供的各段落开头语有一定程度衔接。写出了一些有关内容，应用了3个以上短文中标出的关键词语。语法结构单调，词汇项目有限，有些语法结构和词汇方面的错误，影响了意思的表达。较少使用句间的连接成分，全文内容缺少连贯性。第一档（1-5分）与所给短文和开头语衔接较差。产出内容太少，很

23、少使用短文中标出的关键词语。语法结构单调，词汇项目很有限，有较多语法结构和词汇方面的错误，严重影响了意思的表达。缺乏句间的连接成分，全文内容不连贯。0分 白卷，内容太少无法评判或所写内容与所提供内容无关。读后续写题目（2017、11、3）第二节 读后续写（满分25分）阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。Avacation with my mother I had an interesting childhood: It was filled with surprise and amusements, all because of my mother-loving, sw

24、eet, and yetabsent-mindedandforgetful. One strange familytripwe took when I was eleven tells a lot about her. My two sets of grandparents lived in Colorado and North Dakota, and my parents decided to spend a few weeks driving to those states and seeing all the sights along the way. As the first day

25、of our trip approached,David, my eight-year-old brother, and I unwillingly said good-bye to all of our friends. Who knew if wed ever see them again? Finally, the moment of our departure arrived, and we loaded suitcases, books, games,campingequipment, and atentinto the car and bravely drove off. We b

26、ravely drove off again two hours later after wed returned home to get the purse and travelers checksMomhad forgotten. David and I were always a little nervous when using gas station bathrooms if Mom was driving whileDadslept:” You stand outside the door and play lookout while I go, and Ill stand out

27、side the door and play lookout while you go.” I had terrible pictures in my mind: “Honey, where are the kids?” “What?! Oh, Gosh I thought they were being awfully quiet.” We were never actually left behind in a strange city, but we werent about to take any chances.On the fourth or fifth night, we had

28、troublefinding a hotel with a vacancy. After driving in vain for some time, Mom suddenly got a great idea: Why didnt we find a house with a likely-looking backyard and ask if we could set up tent there? David and I became nervous. To our great relief, Dad turned down the idea. Mom never could unders

29、tand our objections.If a strange family showed up on her front doorsteps, Mom would have been delighted. She thinks everyone in the world as asniceas she is. We finally found a vacancy in the next town.注意：1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右；2. 应使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语；3. 续写部分分为两段，每段开头语已为你写好；4. 续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。Par

30、a1: The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us.Para2: We drove through several states and saw lots of great sights along the way.解题思路1.核心内容解读：本文主要讲了一个健忘的妈妈的事。第一段：我的童年很有趣，大部分是因为我的母亲。 她很可爱，有趣，同时也很迷糊，健忘（absent-minded and forgetful）。第二段：我们准备出游(trip)，然而我和我的弟弟david都不愿意出发，因为下一次再见到

31、我们的朋友们就不知道什么时候了。然而这一天还是到了。我们带上了帐篷，野营设备，出发了。但过了两小时后我们不得不返回家中，因为妈妈忘记带上了钱包等。第三段：途中我和弟弟去加油站上厕所是我们胆战心惊的事-妈妈开车，爸爸在睡觉。弟弟去厕所我就得在门口放哨，我去厕所弟弟要放哨。我们知道妈妈会说：“Honey, where are the kids?” “What?! Oh, Gosh I thought they were being awfully quiet.”第四段：我们出游的第四第五个晚上，我们找不到空缺的酒店，妈妈提议我们到某个人的院子里搭帐篷。我和弟弟都很紧张，还好爸爸否决了这个提议。然而妈妈并不明白为什么我们会反对，若有其他人敲响我们家的