老友记第一季第一集中英文对照台词.docx

老友记第一季第一集中英文对照台词.docx

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老友记第一季第一集中英文对照台词

101TheOneWhereMonicaGetsaNewRoommate（ThePilot-TheUncutVersion）

[Scene:

CentralPerk,Chandler,Joey,Phoebe,andMonicaarethere.]

Monica:

There'snothingtotell!

He'sjustsomeguyIworkwith!

Joey:

Comeon,you'regoingoutwiththeguy!

There'sgottabesomethingwrongwithhim!

Chandler:

AllrightJoey,benice. Sodoeshehaveahump?

Ahumpandahairpiece?

Phoebe:

Wait,doesheeatchalk?

（Theyallstare,bemused.）

Phoebe:

Just,'cause,Idon'twanthertogothroughwhatIwentthroughwithCarl-oh!

Monica:

Okay,everybodyrelax.Thisisnotevenadate.It'sjusttwopeoplegoingouttodinnerand-nothavingsex.

Chandler:

Soundslikeadatetome.

[TimeLapse]

Chandler:

Alright,soI'mbackinhighschool,I'mstandinginthemiddleofthecafeteria,andIrealizeIamtotallynaked.

All:

Oh,yeah.Hadthatdream.

Chandler:

ThenIlookdown,andIrealizethere'saphone...there.

Joey:

Insteadof...?

Chandler:

That'sright.

Joey:

Neverhadthatdream.

Phoebe:

No.

Anditturnsoutit'smymother,whichisvery-veryweird,because-shenevercallsme!

[TimeLapse,Rosshasentered.]

Ross:

（mortified）Hi.

Joey:

Thisguysayshello,Iwannakillmyself.

Monica:

Areyouokay,sweetie?

Ross:

Ijustfeellikesomeonereacheddownmythroat,grabbedmysmallintestine,pulleditoutofmymouthandtieditaroundmyneck...

Chandler:

Cookie?

Monica:

（explainingtotheothers）Carolmovedherstuffouttoday.

Joey:

Ohh.

Monica:

（toRoss）Letmegetyousomecoffee.

Ross:

Thanks.

Phoebe:

Ooh!

Oh!

（ShestartstopluckattheairjustinfrontofRoss.）

Ross:

No,nodon't!

Stopcleansingmyaura!

No,justleavemyauraalone,okay?

Ross:

I'llbefine,alright?

Really,everyone.Ihopeshe'llbeveryhappy.

Monica:

Noyoudon't.

Ross:

NoIdon't,tohellwithher,sheleftme!

Joey:

Andyouneverknewshewasalesbian...

Ross:

No!

!

Okay?

!

Whydoeseveryonekeepfixatingonthat?

Shedidn'tknow,howshouldIknow?

Chandler:

SometimesIwishIwasalesbian...（Theyallstareathim.）DidIsaythatoutloud?

Joey:

AlrightRoss,look.You'refeelingalotofpainrightnow.You'reangry.You'rehurting.CanItellyouwhattheansweris?

（Rossgestureshisconsent.）

Joey:

Stripjoint!

C'mon,you'resingle!

Havesomehormones!

Ross:

Idon'twanttobesingle,okay?

Ijust...Ijust-Ijustwannabemarriedagain!

（Rachelentersinawetweddingdressandstartstosearchtheroom.）

Chandler:

AndIjustwantamilliondollars!

（Heextendshishandhopefully.）

Monica:

Rachel?

!

Rachel:

OhGodMonicahi!

ThankGod!

Ijustwenttoyourbuildingandyouweren'tthereandthenthisguywithabighammersaidyoumightbehereandyouare,youare!

Waitress:

CanIgetyousomecoffee?

Monica:

（pointingatRachel）De-caff.（toAll）Okay,everybody,thisisRachel,anotherLincolnHighsurvivor.（toRachel）Thisiseverybody,thisisChandler,andPhoebe,andJoey,and-youremembermybrotherRoss?

Rachel:

Hi,sure!

Ross:

Hi.

（TheygotohugbutRoss'sumbrellaopens. Hesitsbackdowndefeatedagain. AmomentofsilencefollowsasRachelsitsandtheothersexpecthertoexplain.）

Monica:

Soyouwannatellusnow,orarewewaitingforfourwetbridesmaids?

Rachel:

OhGod...well,itstartedaboutahalfhourbeforethewedding.Iwasintheroomwherewewerekeepingallthepresents,andIwaslookingatthisgravyboat.ThisreallygorgeousLamaugegravyboat.Whenallofasudden-（tothewaitressthatbroughthercoffee）Sweet'n'Lo?

-IrealizedthatIwasmoreturnedonbythisgravyboatthanbyBarry!

AndthenIgotreallyfreakedout,andthat'swhenithitme:

howmuchBarrylookslikeMr.PotatoHead.Y'know,Imean,Ialwaysknewlookedfamiliar,but...Anyway,Ijusthadtogetoutofthere,andIstartedwondering'WhyamIdoingthis,andwhoamIdoingthisfor?

'.（toMonica）SoanywayIjustdidn'tknowwheretogo,andIknowthatyouandIhavekindadriftedapart,butyou'retheonlypersonIknewwholivedhereinthecity.

Monica:

Whowasn'tinvitedtothewedding.

Rachel:

Ooh,Iwaskindahopingthatwouldn'tbeanissue...

[Scene:

Monica'sApartment,everyoneisthereandwatchingaSpanishSoaponTVandaretryingtofigureoutwhatisgoingon.]

Monica:

NowI'mguessingthatheboughtherthebigpipeorgan,andshe'sreallynothappyaboutit.

Rachel:

（onphone）Daddy,Ijust...Ican'tmarryhim!

I'msorry.Ijustdon'tlovehim.Well,itmatterstome!

（ThesceneonTVhaschangedtoshowtwowomen,oneisholdingherhair.）

Chandler:

（reTV）Ooh,sheshouldnotbewearingthosepants.

Joey:

Isaypushherdownthestairs.

Phoebe,Ross,Chandler,andJoey:

 Pushherdownthestairs!

Pushherdownthestairs!

Pushherdownthestairs!

（Sheispusheddownthestairsandeveryonecheers.）

Rachel:

C'monDaddy,listentome!

It'slike,it'slike,allofmylife,everyonehasalwaystoldme,'You'reashoe!

You'reashoe,you'reashoe,you'reashoe!

'.AndtodayIjuststoppedandIsaid,'WhatifIdon'twannabeashoe?

WhatifIwannabea-apurse,y'know?

Ora-orahat!

No,I'mnotsayingIwantyoutobuymeahat,I'msayingIamaha-It'sametaphor,Daddy!

Ross:

Youcanseewherehe'dhavetrouble.

Rachel:

LookDaddy,it'smylife.WellmaybeI'lljuststayherewithMonica.

Monica:

Well,Iguesswe'veestablishedwho'sstayingherewithMonica...

Rachel:

Well,maybethat'smydecision.Well,maybeIdon'tneedyourmoney.Wait!

!

Wait,Isaidmaybe!

!

[TimeLapse,Rachelisbreatingintoapaperbag.]

Monica:

Justbreathe,breathe..that'sit.Justtrytothinkofnicecalmthings...Phoebe:

（sings）Raindropsonrosesandrabbitsandkittens,（RachelandMonicaturntolookather.）bluebellsandsleighbellsand-somethingwithmittens...Lalalala...somethingandnoodleswithstring. Theseareafew...

Rachel:

I'mallbetternow.

Phoebe:

（grinsandwalkstothekitchenandsaystoChandlerandJoey.）Ihelped!

Monica:

Okay,look,thisisprobablyforthebest,y'know?

Independence.Takingcontrolofyourlife. Thewhole,'hat'thing.

Joey:

（comfortingher）Andhey,youneedanything,youcanalwayscometoJoey.MeandChandlerliveacrossthehall.Andhe'sawayalot.

Monica:

Joey,stophittingonher!

It'sherweddingday!

Joey:

What,likethere'saruleorsomething?

（ThedoorbuzzersoundsandChandlergetsit.）

Chandler:

Pleasedon'tdothatagain,it'sahorriblesound.

Paul:

（overtheintercom）It's,uh,it'sPaul.

Monica:

Buzzhimin!

Joey:

Who'sPaul?

Ross:

PaultheWineGuy,Paul?

Monica:

Maybe.

Joey:

Wait.Your'notarealdate'tonightiswithPaultheWineGuy?

Ross:

Hefinallyaskedyouout?

Monica:

Yes!

Chandler:

Ooh,thisisaDearDiarymoment.

Monica:

Rach,wait,Icancancel...

Rachel:

Please,no,go,that'dbefine!

Monica:

（toRoss）Are,areyouokay?

Imean,doyouwantmetostay?

Ross:

（chokedvoice）That'dbegood...

Monica:

（horrified）Really?

Ross:

（normalvoice）No,goon!

It'sPaultheWineGuy!

（There'saknockonthedoorandit'sPaul.）

Monica:

Hi,comein!

Paul,thisis..（Theyarealllinedupnexttothedoor.）...everybody,everybody,thisisPaul.

All:

Hey!

Paul!

Hi!

TheWineGuy!

Hey!

Chandler:

I'msorry,Ididn'tcatchyourname.Paul,wasit?

Monica:

Okay,umm-umm,I'lljust--I'llberightback,Ijustgottagoah,goah...

Ross:

Awandering?

Monica:

Change!

 Okay,sitdown.（ShowsPaulin）Twoseconds.

Phoebe:

Ooh,Ijustpulledoutfoureyelashes.Thatcan'tbegood.

（Monicagoestochange.）

Ross:

SoRachel,what'reyou,uh...what'reyouuptotonight?

Rachel:

Well,IwaskindasupposedtobeheadedforArubaonmyhoneymoon,sonothing!

Ross:

Right,you'renotevengettingyourhoneymoon,God..No,no,although,Aruba,thistimeofyear...talkaboutyour-（thinks）-biglizards...Anyway,ifyoudon'tfeellikebeingalonetonight,JoeyandChandlerarecomingovertohelpmeputtogethermynewfurniture.

Chandler:

（deadpan）Yes,andwe'reveryexcitedaboutit.

Rachel:

Wellactuallythanks,butIthinkI'mjustgonnahangoutheretonight. It'sbeenkindaalongday.

Ross:

Okay,sure.

Joey:

HeyPheebs,youwannahelp?

Phoebe:

Oh,IwishIcould,butIdon'twantto.

[Scene:

Ross'sApartment,theguysarethereassemblingfurniture.]

Ross:

（squattingandreadingtheinstructions）I'msupposedtoattachabracketythingtothesidethings,usingabunchoftheselittlewormguys.Ihavenobracketything,Iseenowhimguyswhatsoeverand-Icannotfeelmylegs.

（JoeyandChandlerarefinishingassemblingthebookcase.）

Joey:

（pickingupaleftoverpart）What'sthis?

Chandler:

Ihavenoidea.

（JoeychecksthatRossisnotlookinganddumpsitinaplant.）

Joey:

Donewiththebookcase!

Chandler:

Allfinished!

Ross:

（clutchingabeercanandsniffing）ThiswasCarol'sfavoritebeer.Shealwaysdrankitoutofthecan,Ishouldhaveknown.

Joey:

Hey-hey-hey-hey,ifyou'regonnastartwiththatstuffwe'reouttahere.

Chandler:

Yes,pleasedon'tspoilallthisfun.

Joey:

Ross,letmeaskyouaquestion.Shegotthefurniture,thestereo,thegoodTV-whatdidyouget?

Ross:

Youguys.

Chandler:

Oh,God.

Joey:

Yougotscrewed.

Chandler:

OhmyGod!

[Scene:

ARestaurant,MonicaandPaulareeating.]

Monica:

OhmyGod!

Paul:

Iknow,Iknow,I'msuchanidiot.IguessIshouldhavecaughtonwhenshestartedgoingtothedentistfourandfivetimesaweek.Imean,howcleancanteethget?

Monica:

Mybrother'sgoingthroughthatrightnow,he'ssuchamess.Howdidyougetthroughit?

Paul:

Well,youmighttryaccidentallybreakingsomethingvaluableofhers,sayher-

Monica:

-leg?

Paul:

（laughing）That'soneway!

Me,I-Iwentforthewatch.

Monica:

Youactuallybrokeherwatch?

Rachel:

Barry,I'msorry...Iamsosorry...Iknowyouprobablythinkthatthisisa