课文01之欧阳音创编.docx

课文01之欧阳音创编.docx

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课文01之欧阳音创编

LoveisaFallacyMaxShulman

时间：

2021.03.11

创作：

欧阳音

1CharlesLamb,asmerryandenterprisingafellowasyouwillmeetinamonthofSundays,unfetteredtheinformalessaywithhismemorableOldChinaandDream'sChildren.TherefollowsaninformalessaythatventuresevenbeyondLamb'sfrontier,indeed,"informal"maynotbequitetherightwordtodescribethisessay;"limp"or"flaccid"orpossibly"spongy"areperhapsmoreappropriate.2Vaguethoughitscategory,itiswithoutdoubtanessay.Itdevelopsanargument;itcitesinstances;itreachesaconclusion.CouldCarlyledomore?

CouldRuskin?

3Read,then,thefollowingessaywhichundertakestodemonstratethatlogic,farfrombeingadry,pedanticdiscipline,isaliving,breathingthing,fullofbeauty,passion,andtrauma--Author'sNote4CoolwasIandlogical.Keen,calculating,perspicacious,acuteandastute--Iwasallofthese.Mybrainwasaspowerfulasadynamo,aspreciseasachemist'sscales,aspenetratingasascalpel.And--thinkofit!

--Iwasonlyeighteen.5Itisnotoftenthatonesoyounghassuchagiantintellect.Take,forexample,PeteyButch,myroommateattheUniversityofMinnesota.Sameage,samebackground,butdumbasanox.Aniceenoughyoungfellow,youunderstand,butnothingupstairs.Emotionaltype.Unstable.Impressionable.Worstofall,afaddist.Fads,Isubmit,aretheverynegationofreason.Tobesweptupineverynewcrazethatcomesalong,tosurrenderyourselftoidiocyjustbecauseeverybodyelseisdoingit--this,tome,istheacmeofmindlessness.Not,however,toPetey.6OneafternoonIfoundPeteylyingonhisbedwithanexpressionofsuchdistressonhisfacethatIimmediatelydiagnosedappendicitis."Don'tmove,"Isaid."Don'ttakealaxative.I'llgetadoctor."7"Raccoon,"hemumbledthickly.8"Raccoon?

"Isaid,pausinginmyflight.9"1wantaraccooncoat,"hewailed.10Iperceivedthathistroublewasnotphysical,butmental."Whydoyouwantaraccooncoat?

"11"1shouldhaveknownit,"hecried,poundinghistemples."1shouldhaveknownthey'dcomebackwhentheCharlestoncameback.LikeafoolIspentallmymoneyfortextbooks,andnowIcan'tgetaraccooncoat."12"Canyoumean."Isaidincredulously,"thatpeopleareactuallywearingraccooncoatsagain?

"13"AlltheBigMenonCampusarewearingthem.Where'veyoubeen?

"14"Inthelibrary,"Isaid,namingaplacenotfrequentedbyBigMenonCampus15Heleapedfromthebedandpacedtheroom,"I'vegottohavearaccooncoat,"hesaidpassionately."I'vegotto!

"16"Petey,why?

Lookatitrationally.Raccooncoatsareunsanitary.Theyshed.Theysmellbad.Theyweighttoomuch.They'reunsightly.They--"17"Youdon'tunderstand,"heinterruptedimpatiently."It'sthethingtodo.Don'tyouwanttobeintheswim?

"18"No,"Isaidtruthfully.19"Well,Ido,"hedeclared."I'dgiveanythingforaraccooncoat.Anything!

"20Mybrain,thatprecisioninstrument,slippedintohighgear."Anything?

"Iasked,lookingathimnarrowly.21"Anything,"heaffirmedinringingtones.22Istrokedmychinthoughtfully.ItsohappenedthatIknewwheretosetmyhandsonaraccooncoat.Myfatherhadhadoneinhisundergraduatedays;itlaynowinatrunkintheatticbackhome.ItalsohappenedthatPeteyhadsomethingIwanted.Hedidn'thaveitexactly,butatleasthehadfirstrightsonit.Irefertohisgirl,PollyEspy.23IhadlongcovetedPollyEspy.Letmeemphasizethatmydesireforthisyoungwomanwasnotemotionalinnature.Shewas,tobesure,agirlwhoexcitedtheemotionsbutIwasnotonetoletmyheartrulemyhead.IwantedPollyforashrewdlycalculated,entirelycerebralreason.24Iwasafreshmaninlawschool.InafewyearsIwouldbeoutinpractice.Iwaswellawareoftheimportanceoftherightkindofwifeinfurtheringalawyer'scareer.ThesuccessfullawyersIhadobservedwere,almostwithoutexception,marriedtobeautiful,gracious,intelligentwomen.Withoneomission,Pollyfittedthesespecificationsperfectly.25Beautifulshewas.Shewasnotyetofpin-upproportionsbutIfeltsurethattimewouldsupplythelackShealreadyhadthemakings.26Graciousshewas.BygraciousImeanfullofgraces.Shehadanerectnessofcarriage,aneaseofbearing,apoisethatclearlyindicatedthebestofbreeding,Attablehermannerswereexquisite.IhadseenherattheKozyKampusKornereatingthespecialtyofthehouse--asandwichthatcontainedscrapsofpotroast,gravy,choppednuts,andadipperofsauerkraut--withoutevengettingherfingersmoist.27Intelligentshewasnot.infact,sheveeredintheoppositedirection.ButIbelievedthatundermyguidanceshewouldsmartenup.Atanyrate,itwasworthatry.Itis,afterall,easiertomakeabeautifuldumbgirlsmartthantomakeanuglysmartgirlbeautiful.28"Petey,"Isaid,"areyouinlovewithPollyEspy?

"29"1thinkshe'sakeenkid,"hereplied,"butIdon'tknowifyou'dcallitlove.Why?

"30"Doyou,"Iasked,"haveanykindofformalarrangementwithher?

Imeanareyougoingsteadyoranythinglikethat?

"31"No.Weseeeachotherquiteabit,butwebothhaveotherdates.Why?

"32"Isthere,"Iasked,"anyothermanforwhomshehasaparticularfondness?

"33"NotthatIknowof.Why?

"34Inoddedwithsatisfaction."Inotherwords,ifyouwereoutofthepicture,thefieldwouldbeopen.Isthatright?

"35"1guessso.Whatareyougettingat?

"36"Nothing,nothing,"Isaidinnocently,andtookmysuitcaseoutofthecloset.37"Whereareyougoing?

"askedPetey.38"Homefortheweekend."Ithrewafewthingsintothebag.39"Listen,"hesaid,clutchingmyarmeagerly,"whileyou'rehome,youcouldn'tgetsomemoneyfromyouroldman,couldyou,andlendittomesoIcanbuyaraccooncoat?

"40"1maydobetterthanthat,"Isaidwithamysteriouswinkandclosedmybagandleft.41"Look,"IsaidtoPeteywhenIgotbackMondaymorning.Ithrewopenthesuitcaseandrevealedthehuge,hairy,gamyobjectthatmyfatherhadworninhisStutzBearcatin1925.42"HolyToledo!

"saidPeteyreverently.Heplungedhishandsintotheraccooncoatandthenhisface."HolyToledo!

"herepeatedfifteenortwentytimes.43"Wouldyoulikeit?

"Iasked.44"Ohyes!

"hecried,clutchingthegreasypelttohim.Thenacannylookcameintohiseyes."Whatdoyouwantforit?

"45"Yourgirl,"Isaid,mincingnowords.46"Polly?

"hesaidinahorrifiedwhisper."YouwantPolly?

"47"That'sright."48Heflungthecoatfromhim."Never,"hesaidstoutly.49Ishrugged."Okay.Ifyoudon'twanttobeintheswim,Iguessit'syourbusiness."50Isatdowninachairandpretendedtoreadabook,butoutofthecornerofmyeyeIkeptwatchingPetey.Hewasatornman.Firsthelookedatthecoatwiththeexpressionofawaifatabakerywindow.Thenheturnedawayandsethisjawresolutely.Thenhelookedbackatthecoat,withevenmorelonginginhisface.Thenheturnedaway,butwithnotsomuchresolutionthistime.Backandforthhisheadswiveled,desirewaxing,resolutionwaning.Finallyhedidn'tturnawayatall;hejuststoodandstaredwithmadlustatthecoat.51"Itisn'tasthoughIwasinlovewithPolly,"hesaidthickly."Orgoingsteadyoranythinglikethat."52"That'sright,"Imurmured.53"What'sPollytome,ormetoPolly?

"54"Notathing,"saidI.55"It'sjustbeenacasualkick--justafewlaughs,that'sall."56"Tryonthecoat,"saidI.57Hecomplied.Thecoatbunchedhighoverhisearsanddroppedallthewaydowntohisshoetops.Helookedlikeamoundofdeadraccoons."Fitsfine,"hesaidhappily.58Irosefrommychair."Isitadeal?

"Iasked,extendingmyhand.59Heswallowed."It'sadeal,"hesaidandshookmyhand.60IhadmyfirstdatewithPollythefollowingevening.Thiswasinthenatureofasurvey;IwantedtofindoutjusthowmuchworkIhadtodotogetherminduptothestandardIrequired.Itookherfirsttodinner."Gee,thatwasadelish（=delicious）dinner,"shesaidaswelefttherestaurant.ThenItookhertoamovie."Gee,thatwasamarvy（=marvelous）movie,"shesaidasweleftthetheater.AndthenItookherhome."Gee,Ihadasensaysh（=sensational）time,"shesaidasshebademegoodnight.61Iwentbacktomyroomwithaheavyheart.Ihadgravelyunderestimatedthesizeofmytask.Thisgirl'slackofinformationwasterrifying.NorwoulditbeenoughmerelytosupplyherwithinformationFirstshehadtobetaughttothink.Thisloomedasaprojectofnosmalldimensions,andatfirstIwastemptedtogiveherbacktoPetey.ButthenIgottothinkingaboutherabundantphysicalcharmsandaboutthewaysheenteredaroomandthewayshehandledaknifeandfork,andIdecidedtomakeaneffort.62Iwentaboutit,asinallthings,systematically.Igaveheracourseinlogic.IthappenedthatI,asalawstudent,wastakingacourseinlogicmyself,soIhadallthefactsatmyfingertips."Polly,"IsaidtoherwhenIpickedheruponournextdate,"tonightwearegoingovertotheKnollandtalk."63"0o,terrif（=terrific）,"shereplied.OnethingIwillsayforthisgirl:

youwouldgofartofindanothersoagreeable.64WewenttotheKnoll,thecampustrystingplace,andwesatdownunderanoldoak,andshelookedatmeexpectantly."Whatarewegoingtotalkabout?

"sheasked.65"Logic."66Shethoughtthisoverforaminuteanddecidedshelikedit."Magnif（=magnificent）,"shesaid.67"Logic,"Isaid,clearingmythroat,"isthescienceofthinking.Beforewecanthinkcorrectly,wemustfirstlearntorecognizethecommonfallaciesoflogic.Thesewewilltakeuptonight."68"Wow-dow!

"shecried,clappingherhandsdelightedly.69Iwinced,butwentbravelyon."FirstletusexaminethefallacycalledDictoSimpliciter."70"Byallmeans,"sheurged,battingherlashes