再见谢谢你们的鱼 英文doc.docx

再见谢谢你们的鱼 英文doc.docx

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再见谢谢你们的鱼英文doc

FaroutintheunchartedbackwatersoftheunfashionableendofthewesternspiralarmoftheGalaxyliesasmallunregardedyellowsun.

Orbitingthisatadistanceofroughlyninety-twomillionmilesisanutterlyinsignificantlittlebluegreenplanetwhoseape-descendedlifeformsaresoamazinglyprimitivethattheystillthinkdigitalwatchesareaprettyneatidea.

Thisplanethas–orratherhad–aproblem,whichwasthis:

mostofthepeopleonitwereunhappyforprettymuchofthetime.Manysolutionsweresuggestedforthisproblem,butmostofthesewerelargelyconcernedwiththemovementsofsmallgreenpiecesofpaper,whichisoddbecauseonthewholeitwasn’tthesmallgreenpiecesofpaperthatwereunhappy.

Andsotheproblemremained;lotsofthepeopleweremean,andmostofthemweremiserable,eventheoneswithdigitalwatches.

Manywereincreasinglyoftheopinionthatthey’dallmadeabigmistakeincomingdownfromthetreesinthefirstplace.Andsomesaidthateventhetreeshadbeenabadmove,andthatnooneshouldeverhavelefttheoceans.

Andthen,oneThursday,nearlytwothousandyearsafteronemanhadbeennailedtoatreeforsayinghowgreatitwouldbetobenicetopeopleforachange,onegirlsittingonherowninasmallcafeinRickmansworthsuddenlyrealizedwhatitwasthathadbeengoingwrongallthistime,andshefinallyknewhowtheworldcouldbemadeagoodandhappyplace.Thistimeitwasright,itwouldwork,andnoonewouldhavetogetnailedtoanything.

Sadly,however,beforeshecouldgettoaphonetotellanyoneaboutit,aterriblystupidcatastropheoccurred,andtheideawaslostforever.

Thisisherstory.

Chapter1

Thateveningitwasdarkearly,whichwasnormalforthetimeofyear.Itwascoldandwindy,whichwasnormal.

Itstartedtorain,whichwasparticularlynormal.

Aspacecraftlanded,whichwasnot.

Therewasnobodyaroundtoseeitexceptsomespectacularlystupidquadrupedswhohadn’tthefaintestideawhattomakeofit,orwhethertheyweremeanttomakeanythingofit,oreatit,orwhat.Sotheydidwhattheydidtoeverythingwhichwastorunawayfromitandtrytohideundereachother,whichneverworked.

Itslippeddownoutoftheclouds,seeminglybalancedonasinglebeamoflight.

Fromadistanceyouwouldscarcelyhavenoticeditthroughthelightningandthestormclouds,butseenfromclosetoitwasstrangelybeautiful–agreycraftofelegantlysculptedform:

quitesmall.

Ofcourse,oneneverhastheslightestnotionwhatsizeorshapedifferentspeciesaregoingtoturnouttobe,butifyouweretotakethefindingsofthelatestMid-GalacticCensusreportasanykindofaccurateguidetostatisticalaveragesyouwouldprobablyguessthatthecraftwouldholdaboutsixpeople,andyouwouldberight.

You’dprobablyguessedthatanyway.TheCensusreport,likemostsuchsurveys,hadcostanawfullotofmoneyanddidn’ttellanybodyanythingtheydidn’talreadyknow–exceptthateverysinglepersonintheGalaxyhad2.4legsandownedahyena.Sincethiswasclearlynottruethewholethinghadeventuallytobescrapped.

Thecraftslidquietlydownthroughtherain,itsdimoperatinglightswrappingitintastefulrainbows.Ithummedveryquietly,ahumwhichbecamegraduallylouderanddeeperasitapproachedtheground,andwhichatanaltitudeofsixinchesbecameaheavythrob.

Atlastitdroppedandwasquiet.

Ahatchwayopened.Ashortflightofstepsunfoldeditself.

Alightappearedintheopening,abrightlightstreamingoutintothewetnight,andshadowsmovedwithin.

Atallfigureappearedinthelight,lookedaround,flinched,andhurrieddownthesteps,carryingalargeshoppingbagunderitsarm.

Itturnedandgaveasingleabruptwavebackattheship.Alreadytherainwasstreamingthroughitshair.

–Thankyou,–hecalledout,–thankyouvery…

Hewasinterruptedbyasharpcrackofthunder.Heglancedupapprehensively,andinresponsetoasuddenthoughtquicklystartedtorummagethroughthelargeplasticshoppingbag,whichhenowdiscoveredhadaholeinthebottom.

Ithadlargecharactersprintedonthesidewhichread（toanyonewhocoulddeciphertheCentaurianalphabet）DutyfreeMegaMarket,PortBrasta,AlphaCentauri.BeLiketheTwenty-SecondElephantwithHeatedValueinSpace–Bark!

–Holdon!

–thefigurecalled,wavingattheship.

Thesteps,whichhadstartedtofoldthemselvesbackthroughthehatchway,stopped,re-unfolded,andallowedhimbackin.

Heemergedagainafewsecondslatercarryingabatteredandthreadbaretowelwhichheshovedintothebag.

Hewavedagain,hoistedthebagunderhisarm,andstartedtorunfortheshelterofsometreesas,behindhim,thespacecrafthadalreadybegunitsascent.

Lightningflittedthroughtheskyandmadethefigurepauseforamoment,andthenhurryonwards,revisinghispathtogivethetreesawideberth.Hemovedswiftlyacrosstheground,slippinghereandthere,hunchinghimselfagainsttherainwhichwasfallingnowwithever-increasingconcentration,asifbeingpulledfromthesky.

Hisfeetsloshedthroughthemud.Thundergrumbledoverthehills.Hepointlesslywipedtherainoffhisfaceandstumbledon.

Morelights.

Notlightningthistime,butmorediffusedanddimmerlightswhichplayedslowlyoverthehorizonandfaded.

Thefigurepausedagainonseeingthem,andthenredoubledhissteps,makingdirectlytowardsthepointonthehorizonatwhichtheyhadappeared.

Andnowthegroundwasbecomingsteeper,slopingupwards,andafteranothertwoorthreehundredyardsitledatlasttoanobstacle.Thefigurepausedtoexaminethebarrierandthendroppedthebaghewascarryingoveritbeforeclimbingoverhimself.

Hardlyhadthefiguretouchedthegroundontheothersidewhentherecamesweepingoutoftheraintowardshimamachine,lightsstreamingthroughthewallofwater.Thefigurepressedbackasthemachinestreakedtowardshim.itwasalowbulbousshape,likeasmallwhalesurfing–sleek,greyandroundedandmovingatterrifyingspeed.

Thefigureinstinctivelythrewuphishandstoprotecthimself,butwashitonlybyasluiceofwaterasthemachinesweptpastandoffintothenight.

Itwasilluminatedbrieflybyanotherflickeroflightningcrossingthesky,whichallowedthesoakedfigurebytheroadsideasplit-secondtoreadasmallsignatthebackofthemachinebeforeitdisappeared.

Tothefigure’sapparentincredulousastonishmentthesignread,“MyothercarisalsoaPorsche.”

Chapter2

RobMcKeenawasamiserablebastardandheknewitbecausehe’dhadalotofpeoplepointitouttohimovertheyearsandhesawnoreasontodisagreewiththemexcepttheobviousonewhichwasthathelikeddisagreeingwithpeople,particularlypeoplehedisliked,whichincluded,atthelastcount,everyone.

Heheavedasighandshoveddownagear.

ThehillwasbeginningtosteepenandhislorrywasheavywithDanishthermostaticradiatorcontrols.

Itwasn’tthathewasnaturallypredisposedtobesosurly,atleasthehopednot.Itwasjusttherainwhichgothimdown,alwaystherain.

Itwasrainingnow,justforachange.

Itwasaparticulartypeofrainheparticularlydisliked,particularlywhenhewasdriving.Hehadanumberforit.Itwasraintype17.

HehadreadsomewherethattheEskimoshadovertwohundreddifferentwordsforsnow,withoutwhichtheirconversationwouldprobablyhavegotverymonotonous.Sotheywoulddistinguishbetweenthinsnowandthicksnow,lightsnowandheavysnow,sludgysnow,brittlesnow,snowthatcameinflurries,snowthatcameindrifts,snowthatcameinonthebottomofyourneighbour’sbootsalloveryournicecleanigloofloor,thesnowsofwinter,thesnowsofspring,thesnowsyourememberfromyourchildhoodthatweresomuchbetterthananyofyourmodernsnow,finesnow,featherysnow,hillsnow,valleysnow,snowthatfallsinthemorning,snowthatfallsatnight,snowthatfallsallofasuddenjustwhenyouweregoingoutfishing,andsnowthatdespiteallyoureffortstotrainthem,thehuskieshavepissedon.

RobMcKeenahadtwohundredandthirty-onedifferenttypesofrainenteredinhislittlebook,andhedidn’tlikeanyofthem.

Heshifteddownanothergearandthelorryheaveditsrevsup.ItgrumbledinacomfortablesortofwayaboutalltheDanishthermostaticradiatorcontrolsitwascarrying.

SincehehadleftDenmarkthepreviousafternoon,hehadbeenthroughtypes33（lightprickingdrizzlewhichmadetheroadsslippery）,39（heavyspotting）,47to51（verticallightdrizzlethroughtosharplyslantinglighttomoderatedrizzlefreshening）,87and88（twofinelydistinguishedvarietiesofverticaltorrentialdownpour）,100（post-downpoursqualling,cold）,alltheseastormtypesbetween192and213atonce,123,124,126,127（mildandintermediatecoldgusting,regularandsyncopatedcab-drumming）,11（breezydroplets）,andnowhisleastfavouriteofall,17.

Raintype17wasadirtyblatterbatteringagainsthiswindscreensohardthatitdidn’tmakemuchoddswhetherhehadhiswipersonoroff.

Hetestedthistheorybyturningthemoffbriefly,butasitturnedoutthevisibilitydidgetquitealotworse.Itjustfailedtogetbetteragainwhenheturnedthembackon.

Infactoneofthewiperbladesbegantoflapoff.

Swishswishswishflopswishflopswishswishflopswishflopswishflopflopflopscrape.

Hepoundedhissteeringwheel,kickedthefloor,thumpedhiscassetteplayertillitsuddenlystartedplayingBarryManilow,thumpeditagaintillitstopped,andsworeandsworeandsworeandsworeandswore.

Itwasattheverymomentthathisfurywaspeakingthatthereloomedswimminglyinhisheadlights,hardlyvisiblethroughtheblatte