专业学位硕士研究生英语教程02.docx

专业学位硕士研究生英语教程02.docx

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专业学位硕士研究生英语教程02

Unit2

MenV.S.（against）Women男女有别

Preview

Youwereonceinvolvedinanintimaterelationshipwiththeoppositesex;ifnot,justthinkaboutyourparentsorothercouplesyouarefamiliarwith.Smartasyouare,youmayhavenoticedthatnorelationshipcanavoidfrustrationorconflict,nomatterhowhardthetwoinvolvedtrytounderstandandcompromise.Giventheirdiversepatternsoffeeling,communicating,andresponding,thereisreasontobelievethatmenandwomenbelongtodifferentspecies（thoughtheyarebothhumanbeings）,andtheneverythingcanbeexplained.

PartITextReading

Warm-up

I.Tencommoncomplaintsthatareeasilymisinterpreted.

Sometimes,menandwomenseldommeanthesamethingsevenwhentheyusethesamewords.Inthefollowingcharttencomplaintseasilymisinterpretedarelisted,aswellashowamanmightrespondunsupportively.

Womensaythingslikethis:

Menrespondlikethis:

Wenevergoout.

That'snottrue.Wewentoutlastweek.

Everyoneignoresme.

I'msuresomepeoplenoticeyou.

Iamsotired.Ican'tdoanything.

Ifyoudon'tlikeyourjob,thenquit.

Iwanttoforgeteverything.

Idon'tthinkthere'sanythingtoforget.

Thehouseisalwaysamess.

It'snotalwaysamess.

Noonelistenstomeanymore.

ButI'mlisteningtoyourightnow

Nothingisworking.

Areyousayingitismyfault?

Youdon'tlovemeanymore.

OfcourseIdo.That'swhyI'mhere.

Wearealwaysinahurry.

Wearenot.Fridaywewererelaxed.

Iwantmoreromance.

AreyousayingIamnotromantic?

Haveyouevercomplainedorrespondedinthesimilarway?

Pleaseusethesentencepattern:

women...whilemen...togeneralizemen'sandwomen'sspeakingpatterns.Example:

Womencomplainwhilemenignore.

Womentalkaboutfeelingswhilementalkaboutfacts.

Womencarewhilemengivethecoldshoulder.

II.Hereisaproblem!

Nowyouhaveknownsomedifferencesbetweenmenandwomen,thenlet'spredictwhatbothwouldsayordowhenfacingthefollowingproblems.（Xmayrefertoeitheramanorawoman）

1.AfriendasksXtolendanamountofmoneywhichXcanbarelyafford.

IfXisawoman:

__________________________________________________________________

IfXisaman:

____________________________________________________________________

2.HereisaguyintheclassorintheofficewhoalwaysbulliesX.

IfXisawoman:

__________________________________________________________________

IfXisaman:

_________________________________________________________________

3.Xislaidoffandhardlyfindsanotherjob.

IfXisawoman:

__________________________________________________________________

IfXisaman:

__________________________________________________________________

4.ItseemsX'sspouseisinvolvedinanaffairwithanotherone.

IfXisawoman:

__________________________________________________________________

IfXisaman:

__________________________________________________________________

III.Annietellsyou!

Annieisamarriagecounselor.Hereisaletterfromoneofherclients.IfyouwereAnnie,whatadvicewouldyougive?

DearAnnie:

Iamayoungmarriedwoman.Myhusband,let'scallhim"Pete,"isverypossessiveandjealous.Healsohasanangerproblem.AnytimeIgotothestore,hewantstoknowexactlywhatstoreIamgoingto,whoI'mgoingwith,whenIamgoingtobehome,etc.Petewaslikethisalittlebitbeforewemarried,butsincewesaid"Ido,"ithasgottentothepointwherehewillcheckmyunderweartomakesureIhavereturnedhomeinthesamepair.DoesheexpectmetobuynewoneseverytimeIgoout?

Once,hewasreallydrunkandgotphysical.Ittookmeawhiletoforgivehimforthat,butIwillneverforgetit.Ifightwithhimconstantlyandweargueovereverything.Idon'twanttofilefordivorce,butthatseemslikemyonlychoice.Anyadviceforawomaninneed?

--FrustratedintheFarmland

Text

（Let）MenGotoTheirCavesandWomen（gototheir）Talk1男女顺其自然

JohnGray

[1]Oneofthebiggestdifferencesbetweenmenandwomenishowtheycopewith（dealwith）stress.Menbecomeincreasinglyfocusedandwithdrawnwhilewomenbecomeincreasinglyoverwhelmed（defeated）andemotionallyinvolved.Atthesetimes（Atthesemoments）,aman'sneedsforfeelinggood（良好的感觉）aredifferentfromawoman's（needs）.Hefeelsbetterbysolvingproblemswhileshefeelsbetterbytalkingaboutproblems.Notunderstandingandacceptingthesedifferencescreates（leadsto）unnecessaryfriction（conflict）inourrelationships（marriages）.Let'slookatacommon（常见的）example.

[2]WhenTomcomeshome,hewantstorelaxandunwind（=relaxed）byquietlyreadingthenews.Heisstressed（bothered）bytheunsolvedproblemsofhisdayandfindsrelief（解脱->relieve）throughforgettingthem.

[3]Hiswife,Mary,alsowantstorelaxfromherstressfulday.She,however,wantstofind（relieve->）reliefbytalkingabouttheproblemsofherday.Thetensionslowlybuilding（strenthening累积）betweenthemgraduallybecomesresentment（hatred）.

[4]SolvingthisproblemforTomandMarydependsnotonhowmuchtheylovedeachotherbutonhowmuchtheyunderstoodtheoppositesex.Withoutknowingthatwomenreallydoneedtotalkaboutproblemstofeelbetter,TomwouldcontinuetothinkMarytalkedtoomuchandresistlisteningtoher.WithoutknowingthatTomwasreadingthenewstofeelbetter,Marywouldfeelignoredandneglected.Shewouldpersistintryingtoget（make）himtotalkwhenhedidn'twantto.

CopingwithstressonMars2andVenus3

[5]WhenaMartian（火星人）gets（becomes）upsethenevertalksaboutwhatisbotheringhim.Hewouldneverburden（vt.bother）anotherMartianwithhisproblemunlesshisfriend'sassistance（help）wasnecessarytosolvetheproblem.Instead（Onthecontray）hebecomesveryquietandgoestohisprivatecave4（corner）tothinkabouthisproblem,mullingitovertofinda（tosolveaproblem<->toansweraquestion）solution.Whenhehasfoundasolution,hefeelsmuchbetterandcomesoutofhiscave.

[6]Ifhecan'tfindasolutionthenhedoessomethingtoforgethisproblems,like（suchas）readingthenewsorplayingagame.Bydisengaging（release）hismind（brain）fromtheproblemsofhisday,graduallyhecanrelax.Ifhisstressisreallygreatittakes（needs）gettinginvolvedwithsomethingevenmorechallenging,like（suchas）racing（drving）hiscar,（compete->）competinginacontest,orclimbingamountain.

[7]WhenaVenusian（woman）becomesupset（nervous）orisstressedbyherday,tofindrelief,sheseeksout（find）someoneshetrustsandthentalksingreatdetailabouttheproblemsofherday.WhenVenusians（women）sharefeelingsofbeingoverwhelmed,theysuddenlyfeelbetter.ThisistheVenusian（woman）way.

Findingreliefinthecave.

[8]Whenamanisstressedhewillwithdrawintothecaveofhismind（心灵的空间/时间：

独处的时刻）andfocusonsolvingaproblem.Hegenerally（usually）picks（choose）themosturgentproblemorthemostdifficult.Hebecomessofocused（absorbed）onsolvingthisoneproblemthathetemporarilylosesawarenessofeverythingelse.Otherproblemsandresponsibilitiesfadeintothebackground（退到幕后）.

[9]Atsuchtimes（atsuchmoments）,hebecomesincreasinglydistant,forgetful,unresponsive,andpreoccupiedinhisrelationships.Hisfullawareness（conscience）isnotpresentbecauseheismulling（thinking）overhisproblem,hopingtofindasolution.Themorestressedheis,themoregripped（occupied聚精会神）bytheproblemhewillbe.Atsuchtimesheisincapableofgivingawomantheattentionandfeelingthatshenormally（usually）receivesandcertainlydeserves.If,however,hecanfindasolution,instantly（immediately/atonce）hewillfeelmuchbetterandcomeoutofhiscave;suddenlyheisavailable（free）forbeinginarelationshipagain.

[10]However,ifhecannotfindasolutiontohisproblem,thenheremains（stick:

n./vi.）stuck（cornered）inthecave.Toget（free）unstuck（released）heisdrawntosolvinglittleproblems,like（suchas）readingthenews,watchingTV,drivinghiscar,doingphysicalexercise,watchingafootballgame,playingbasketball,and（soonand）soforth.Anychallengingactivitythat（initiate->）initially（=previously）requiresonly5percentofhismind（mentalenergy脑力）canassist（help）himinforgettinghisproblemsandbecomingunstuck.Thenthenextdayhecanredirecthisfocustohisproblemwithgreatersuccess（=moresuccessfully）.[beatsb.’swit’send]

Findingreliefthroughtalking

[11]Whenawomanisstressedsheinstinctivelyfeelsaneedtotalkaboutherfeelingsandallthepossibleproblemsthatareassociatedwithherfeelings.Whenshebeginstalkingshedoesnot（priority->）prioritizethesignificanceofanyproblem.Ifsheisupset,thensheisupsetaboutitall,（nomateritis）bigandsmall.Sheisnot（medium介质）immediatelyconcernedwith（=worryaboutsth./sb.）findingsolutionstoherproblemsbutratherseeksreliefbyexpressingherselfandbeingunderstood.Byrandomlytalkingaboutherproblems,shebecomeslessupset（nervous）.

[12]Asamanunderstresstendsto（likely）focusononeproblemandforgetothers,awomanunderstresstendstoexpandandbecomeoverwhelmed（defeated）byallproblems.Bytalkingaboutallpossibleproblemswithoutfocusingonproblemsolvingshefeelsbetter.Throughexploringherfeelingsinthisprocess（过程）shegains（gets）agreaterawareness（understanding）ofwhatisreallybotheringher,andthensuddenlysheisnolonger（notanymore不再）sooverwhelmed.

[13]Tofeelbetter,womentalkaboutpastproblems,futureproblems,potentialproblems,evenproblemsthathavenosolutions.Themoretalkandexploration,thebettertheyfeel.Thisisthewaywomenoperate（live）.Toexpectother