英语篇章 2Word文档下载推荐.docx

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英语篇章 2Word文档下载推荐.docx

llemailyou."

(Laughter)Ican'

tevengetacoffeedateatStarbucks.Myhusband'

slike,"

Honey,deception?

Maybeyoucouldhavefocusedoncooking.HowaboutFrenchcooking?

"

SobeforeIgetstarted,whatI'

mgoingtodoisI'

mgoingtoclarifymygoalforyou,whichisnottoteachagameofGotcha.Liespottersaren'

tthosenitpickykids,thosekidsinthebackoftheroomthatareshouting,"

Gotcha!

Gotcha!

Youreyebrowtwitched.Youflaredyournostril.IwatchthatTVshow'

LieToMe.'

Iknowyou'

relying."

No,liespottersarearmedwithscientificknowledgeofhowtospotdeception.Theyuseittogettothetruth,andtheydowhatmatureleadersdoeveryday;

theyhavedifficultconversationswithdifficultpeople,sometimesduringverydifficulttimes.Andtheystartupthatpathbyacceptingacoreproposition,andthatpropositionisthefollowing:

Lyingisacooperativeact.Thinkaboutit,aliehasnopowerwhatsoeverbyitsmereutterance.Itspoweremergeswhensomeoneelseagreestobelievethelie.

SoIknowitmaysoundliketoughlove,butlook,ifatsomepointyougotliedto,it'

sbecauseyouagreedtogetliedto.Truthnumberoneaboutlying:

Lying'

sacooperativeact.Nownotallliesareharmful.Sometimeswe'

rewillingparticipantsindeceptionforthesakeofsocialdignity,maybetokeepasecretthatshouldbekeptsecret,secret.Wesay,"

Nicesong."

"

Honey,youdon'

tlookfatinthat,no."

Orwesay,favoriteofthedigiratti,"

Youknow,Ijustfishedthatemailoutofmyspamfolder.Sosorry."

Buttherearetimeswhenweareunwillingparticipantsindeception.Andthatcanhavedramaticcostsforus.Lastyearsaw997billiondollarsincorporatefraudaloneintheUnitedStates.That'

saneyelashunderatrilliondollars.That'

ssevenpercentofrevenues.Deceptioncancostbillions.ThinkEnron,Madoff,themortgagecrisis.Orinthecaseofdoubleagentsandtraitors,likeRobertHanssenorAldrichAmes,liescanbetrayourcountry,theycancompromiseoursecurity,theycanunderminedemocracy,theycancausethedeathsofthosethatdefendus.

Deceptionisactuallyseriousbusiness.Thisconman,HenryOberlander,hewassuchaneffectiveconmanBritishauthoritiessayhecouldhaveunderminedtheentirebankingsystemoftheWesternworld.Andyoucan'

tfindthisguyonGoogle;

youcan'

tfindhimanywhere.Hewasinterviewedonce,andhesaidthefollowing.Hesaid,"

Look,I'

vegotonerule."

AndthiswasHenry'

srule,hesaid,"

Look,everyoneiswillingtogiveyousomething.They'

rereadytogiveyousomethingforwhateveritisthey'

rehungryfor."

Andthat'

sthecruxofit.Ifyoudon'

twanttobedeceived,youhavetoknow,whatisitthatyou'

rehungryfor?

Andweallkindofhatetoadmitit.Wewishwewerebetterhusbands,betterwives,smarter,morepowerful,taller,richer--thelistgoeson.Lyingisanattempttobridgethatgap,toconnectourwishesandourfantasiesaboutwhowewishwewere,howwewishwecouldbe,withwhatwe'

rereallylike.Andboyarewewillingtofillinthosegapsinourliveswithlies.

Onagivenday,studiesshowthatyoumaybeliedtoanywherefrom10to200times.Nowgranted,manyofthosearewhitelies.Butinanotherstudy,itshowedthatstrangersliedthreetimeswithinthefirst10minutesofmeetingeachother.(Laughter)Nowwhenwefirsthearthisdata,werecoil.Wecan'

tbelievehowprevalentlyingis.We'

reessentiallyagainstlying.Butifyoulookmoreclosely,theplotactuallythickens.Weliemoretostrangersthanwelietocoworkers.Extrovertsliemorethanintroverts.Menlieeighttimesmoreaboutthemselvesthantheydootherpeople.Womenliemoretoprotectotherpeople.Ifyou'

reanaveragemarriedcouple,you'

regoingtolietoyourspouseinoneoutofevery10interactions.Nowyoumaythinkthat'

sbad.Ityou'

reunmarried,thatnumberdropstothree.

Lying'

scomplex.It'

swovenintothefabricofourdailyandourbusinesslives.We'

redeeplyambivalentaboutthetruth.Weparseitoutonanas-neededbasis,sometimesforverygoodreasons,othertimesjustbecausewedon'

tunderstandthegapsinourlives.That'

struthnumbertwoaboutlying.We'

reagainstlying,butwe'

recovertlyforitinwaysthatoursocietyhassanctionedforcenturiesandcenturiesandcenturies.It'

sasoldasbreathing.It'

spartofourculture,it'

spartofourhistory.ThinkDante,Shakespeare,theBible,NewsoftheWorld.

(Laughter)

Lyinghasevolutionaryvaluetousasaspecies.Researchershavelongknownthatthemoreintelligentthespecies,thelargertheneocortex,themorelikelyitistobedeceptive.NowyoumightrememberKoko.DoesanybodyrememberKokothegorillawhowastaughtsignlanguage?

Kokowastaughttocommunicateviasignlanguage.Here'

sKokowithherkitten.It'

shercutelittle,fluffypetkitten.Kokoonceblamedherpetkittenforrippingasinkoutofthewall.(Laughter)We'

rehardwiredtobecomeleadersofthepack.It'

sstartsreally,reallyearly.Howearly?

Wellbabieswillfakeacry,pause,waittoseewho'

scomingandthengorightbacktocrying.One-year-oldslearnconcealment.(Laughter)Two-year-oldsbluff.Five-year-oldslieoutright.Theymanipulateviaflattery.Nine-year-olds,mastersofthecoverup.Bythetimeyouentercollege,you'

regoingtolietoyourmominoneoutofeveryfiveinteractions.Bythetimeweenterthisworkworldandwe'

rebreadwinners,weenteraworldthatisjustclutteredwithspam,fakedigitalfriends,partisanmedia,ingeniousidentitythieves,world-classPonzischemers,adeceptionepidemic--inshort,whatoneauthorcallsapost-truthsociety.It'

sbeenveryconfusingforalongtimenow.

Whatdoyoudo?

Welltherearestepswecantaketonavigateourwaythroughthemorass.Trainedliespottersgettothetruth90percentofthetime.Therestofus,we'

reonly54percentaccurate.Whyisitsoeasytolearn?

Therearegoodliarsandtherearebadliars.Therearenorealoriginalliars.Weallmakethesamemistakes.Weallusethesametechniques.SowhatI'

mgoingtoshowyoutwopatternsofdeception.Andthenwe'

regoingtolookatthehotspotsandseeifwecanfindthemourselves.We'

regoingtostartwithspeech.

(Video)BillClinton:

Iwantyoutolistentome.I'

mgoingtosaythisagain.Ididnothavesexualrelationswiththatwoman,MissLewinsky.Inevertoldanybodytolie,notasingletime,never.Andtheseallegationsarefalse.AndIneedtogobacktoworkfortheAmericanpeople.Thankyou.

PamelaMeyer:

Okay,whatwerethetelltalesigns?

Wellfirstweheardwhat'

sknownasanon-contracteddenial.Studiesshowthatpeoplewhoareoverdeterminedintheirdenialwillresorttoformalratherthaninformallanguage.Wealsohearddistancinglanguage:

thatwoman."

Weknowthatliarswillunconsciouslydistancethemselvesfromtheirsubjectusinglanguageastheirtool.NowifBillClintonhadsaid,"

Well,totellyouthetruth..."

orRichardNixon'

sfavorite,"

Inallcandor..."

hewouldhavebeenadeadgiveawayforanyliespotterthanknowsthatqualifyinglanguage,asit'

scalled,qualifyinglanguagelikethat,furtherdiscreditsthesubject.Nowifhehadrepeatedthequestioninitsentirety,orifhehadpepperedhisaccountwithalittletoomuchdetail--andwe'

reallreallygladhedidn'

tdothat--hewouldhavefurtherdiscreditedhimself.Freudhaditright.Freudsaid,look,there'

smuchmoretoitthanspeech:

Nomortalcankeepasecret.Ifhislipsaresilent,hechatterswithhisfingertips."

Andwealldoitnomatterhowpowerfulyouare.Weallchatterwithourfingertips.I'

mgoingtoshowyouDominiqueStrauss-KahnwithObamawho'

schatteringwithhisfingertips.

Nowthisbringsustoournextpattern,whichisbodylanguage.Withbodylanguage,here'

swhatyou'

vegottodo.You'

vereallygottojustthrowyourassumptionsoutthedoor.Letthesciencetemperyourknowledgealittlebit.Becausewethinkliarsfidgetallthetime.Wellguesswhat,they'

reknowntofreezetheirupperbodieswhenthey'

relying.Wethinkliarswon'

tlookyouintheeyes.Wellguesswhat,theylookyouintheeyesalittletoomuchjusttocompensateforthatmyth.Wethinkwarmthandsmilesconveyhonesty,sincerity.Butatrainedliespottercanspotafakesmileamileaway.Canyouallspotthefakesmilehere?

Youcanconsciouslycontractthemusclesinyourcheeks.Buttherealsmile'

sintheeyes,thecrow'

sfeetoftheeyes.Theycannotbeconsciouslycontracted,especiallyifyouoverdidtheBotox.Don'

toverdotheBotox;

nobodywillthinkyou'

rehonest.

Nowwe'

regoingtolookatthehotspots.Canyoutellwhat'

shappeninginaconversation?

Canyoustarttofindthehotspotstoseethediscrepanciesbetweensomeone'

swordsandsomeone'

sactions?

NowIknowitseemsreallyobvious,butwhenyou'

rehavingaconversationwithsomeoneyoususpectofdeception,attitudeisbyfarthemostoverlookedbuttellingofindicators.

Anhonestpersonisgoingtobecooperative.They'

regoingtoshowthey'

reonyourside.They'

regoingtobeenthusiastic.They'

regoi

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