英语篇章 2Word文档下载推荐.docx
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llemailyou."
(Laughter)Ican'
tevengetacoffeedateatStarbucks.Myhusband'
slike,"
Honey,deception?
Maybeyoucouldhavefocusedoncooking.HowaboutFrenchcooking?
"
SobeforeIgetstarted,whatI'
mgoingtodoisI'
mgoingtoclarifymygoalforyou,whichisnottoteachagameofGotcha.Liespottersaren'
tthosenitpickykids,thosekidsinthebackoftheroomthatareshouting,"
Gotcha!
Gotcha!
Youreyebrowtwitched.Youflaredyournostril.IwatchthatTVshow'
LieToMe.'
Iknowyou'
relying."
No,liespottersarearmedwithscientificknowledgeofhowtospotdeception.Theyuseittogettothetruth,andtheydowhatmatureleadersdoeveryday;
theyhavedifficultconversationswithdifficultpeople,sometimesduringverydifficulttimes.Andtheystartupthatpathbyacceptingacoreproposition,andthatpropositionisthefollowing:
Lyingisacooperativeact.Thinkaboutit,aliehasnopowerwhatsoeverbyitsmereutterance.Itspoweremergeswhensomeoneelseagreestobelievethelie.
SoIknowitmaysoundliketoughlove,butlook,ifatsomepointyougotliedto,it'
sbecauseyouagreedtogetliedto.Truthnumberoneaboutlying:
Lying'
sacooperativeact.Nownotallliesareharmful.Sometimeswe'
rewillingparticipantsindeceptionforthesakeofsocialdignity,maybetokeepasecretthatshouldbekeptsecret,secret.Wesay,"
Nicesong."
"
Honey,youdon'
tlookfatinthat,no."
Orwesay,favoriteofthedigiratti,"
Youknow,Ijustfishedthatemailoutofmyspamfolder.Sosorry."
Buttherearetimeswhenweareunwillingparticipantsindeception.Andthatcanhavedramaticcostsforus.Lastyearsaw997billiondollarsincorporatefraudaloneintheUnitedStates.That'
saneyelashunderatrilliondollars.That'
ssevenpercentofrevenues.Deceptioncancostbillions.ThinkEnron,Madoff,themortgagecrisis.Orinthecaseofdoubleagentsandtraitors,likeRobertHanssenorAldrichAmes,liescanbetrayourcountry,theycancompromiseoursecurity,theycanunderminedemocracy,theycancausethedeathsofthosethatdefendus.
Deceptionisactuallyseriousbusiness.Thisconman,HenryOberlander,hewassuchaneffectiveconmanBritishauthoritiessayhecouldhaveunderminedtheentirebankingsystemoftheWesternworld.Andyoucan'
tfindthisguyonGoogle;
youcan'
tfindhimanywhere.Hewasinterviewedonce,andhesaidthefollowing.Hesaid,"
Look,I'
vegotonerule."
AndthiswasHenry'
srule,hesaid,"
Look,everyoneiswillingtogiveyousomething.They'
rereadytogiveyousomethingforwhateveritisthey'
rehungryfor."
Andthat'
sthecruxofit.Ifyoudon'
twanttobedeceived,youhavetoknow,whatisitthatyou'
rehungryfor?
Andweallkindofhatetoadmitit.Wewishwewerebetterhusbands,betterwives,smarter,morepowerful,taller,richer--thelistgoeson.Lyingisanattempttobridgethatgap,toconnectourwishesandourfantasiesaboutwhowewishwewere,howwewishwecouldbe,withwhatwe'
rereallylike.Andboyarewewillingtofillinthosegapsinourliveswithlies.
Onagivenday,studiesshowthatyoumaybeliedtoanywherefrom10to200times.Nowgranted,manyofthosearewhitelies.Butinanotherstudy,itshowedthatstrangersliedthreetimeswithinthefirst10minutesofmeetingeachother.(Laughter)Nowwhenwefirsthearthisdata,werecoil.Wecan'
tbelievehowprevalentlyingis.We'
reessentiallyagainstlying.Butifyoulookmoreclosely,theplotactuallythickens.Weliemoretostrangersthanwelietocoworkers.Extrovertsliemorethanintroverts.Menlieeighttimesmoreaboutthemselvesthantheydootherpeople.Womenliemoretoprotectotherpeople.Ifyou'
reanaveragemarriedcouple,you'
regoingtolietoyourspouseinoneoutofevery10interactions.Nowyoumaythinkthat'
sbad.Ityou'
reunmarried,thatnumberdropstothree.
Lying'
scomplex.It'
swovenintothefabricofourdailyandourbusinesslives.We'
redeeplyambivalentaboutthetruth.Weparseitoutonanas-neededbasis,sometimesforverygoodreasons,othertimesjustbecausewedon'
tunderstandthegapsinourlives.That'
struthnumbertwoaboutlying.We'
reagainstlying,butwe'
recovertlyforitinwaysthatoursocietyhassanctionedforcenturiesandcenturiesandcenturies.It'
sasoldasbreathing.It'
spartofourculture,it'
spartofourhistory.ThinkDante,Shakespeare,theBible,NewsoftheWorld.
(Laughter)
Lyinghasevolutionaryvaluetousasaspecies.Researchershavelongknownthatthemoreintelligentthespecies,thelargertheneocortex,themorelikelyitistobedeceptive.NowyoumightrememberKoko.DoesanybodyrememberKokothegorillawhowastaughtsignlanguage?
Kokowastaughttocommunicateviasignlanguage.Here'
sKokowithherkitten.It'
shercutelittle,fluffypetkitten.Kokoonceblamedherpetkittenforrippingasinkoutofthewall.(Laughter)We'
rehardwiredtobecomeleadersofthepack.It'
sstartsreally,reallyearly.Howearly?
Wellbabieswillfakeacry,pause,waittoseewho'
scomingandthengorightbacktocrying.One-year-oldslearnconcealment.(Laughter)Two-year-oldsbluff.Five-year-oldslieoutright.Theymanipulateviaflattery.Nine-year-olds,mastersofthecoverup.Bythetimeyouentercollege,you'
regoingtolietoyourmominoneoutofeveryfiveinteractions.Bythetimeweenterthisworkworldandwe'
rebreadwinners,weenteraworldthatisjustclutteredwithspam,fakedigitalfriends,partisanmedia,ingeniousidentitythieves,world-classPonzischemers,adeceptionepidemic--inshort,whatoneauthorcallsapost-truthsociety.It'
sbeenveryconfusingforalongtimenow.
Whatdoyoudo?
Welltherearestepswecantaketonavigateourwaythroughthemorass.Trainedliespottersgettothetruth90percentofthetime.Therestofus,we'
reonly54percentaccurate.Whyisitsoeasytolearn?
Therearegoodliarsandtherearebadliars.Therearenorealoriginalliars.Weallmakethesamemistakes.Weallusethesametechniques.SowhatI'
mgoingtoshowyoutwopatternsofdeception.Andthenwe'
regoingtolookatthehotspotsandseeifwecanfindthemourselves.We'
regoingtostartwithspeech.
(Video)BillClinton:
Iwantyoutolistentome.I'
mgoingtosaythisagain.Ididnothavesexualrelationswiththatwoman,MissLewinsky.Inevertoldanybodytolie,notasingletime,never.Andtheseallegationsarefalse.AndIneedtogobacktoworkfortheAmericanpeople.Thankyou.
PamelaMeyer:
Okay,whatwerethetelltalesigns?
Wellfirstweheardwhat'
sknownasanon-contracteddenial.Studiesshowthatpeoplewhoareoverdeterminedintheirdenialwillresorttoformalratherthaninformallanguage.Wealsohearddistancinglanguage:
thatwoman."
Weknowthatliarswillunconsciouslydistancethemselvesfromtheirsubjectusinglanguageastheirtool.NowifBillClintonhadsaid,"
Well,totellyouthetruth..."
orRichardNixon'
sfavorite,"
Inallcandor..."
hewouldhavebeenadeadgiveawayforanyliespotterthanknowsthatqualifyinglanguage,asit'
scalled,qualifyinglanguagelikethat,furtherdiscreditsthesubject.Nowifhehadrepeatedthequestioninitsentirety,orifhehadpepperedhisaccountwithalittletoomuchdetail--andwe'
reallreallygladhedidn'
tdothat--hewouldhavefurtherdiscreditedhimself.Freudhaditright.Freudsaid,look,there'
smuchmoretoitthanspeech:
Nomortalcankeepasecret.Ifhislipsaresilent,hechatterswithhisfingertips."
Andwealldoitnomatterhowpowerfulyouare.Weallchatterwithourfingertips.I'
mgoingtoshowyouDominiqueStrauss-KahnwithObamawho'
schatteringwithhisfingertips.
Nowthisbringsustoournextpattern,whichisbodylanguage.Withbodylanguage,here'
swhatyou'
vegottodo.You'
vereallygottojustthrowyourassumptionsoutthedoor.Letthesciencetemperyourknowledgealittlebit.Becausewethinkliarsfidgetallthetime.Wellguesswhat,they'
reknowntofreezetheirupperbodieswhenthey'
relying.Wethinkliarswon'
tlookyouintheeyes.Wellguesswhat,theylookyouintheeyesalittletoomuchjusttocompensateforthatmyth.Wethinkwarmthandsmilesconveyhonesty,sincerity.Butatrainedliespottercanspotafakesmileamileaway.Canyouallspotthefakesmilehere?
Youcanconsciouslycontractthemusclesinyourcheeks.Buttherealsmile'
sintheeyes,thecrow'
sfeetoftheeyes.Theycannotbeconsciouslycontracted,especiallyifyouoverdidtheBotox.Don'
toverdotheBotox;
nobodywillthinkyou'
rehonest.
Nowwe'
regoingtolookatthehotspots.Canyoutellwhat'
shappeninginaconversation?
Canyoustarttofindthehotspotstoseethediscrepanciesbetweensomeone'
swordsandsomeone'
sactions?
NowIknowitseemsreallyobvious,butwhenyou'
rehavingaconversationwithsomeoneyoususpectofdeception,attitudeisbyfarthemostoverlookedbuttellingofindicators.
Anhonestpersonisgoingtobecooperative.They'
regoingtoshowthey'
reonyourside.They'
regoingtobeenthusiastic.They'
regoi