Desperate Housewives 2x18 Everybody Says Dont.docx

Desperate Housewives 2x18 Everybody Says Dont.docx

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DesperateHousewives2x18EverybodySaysDont

DesperateHousewives

Episode2x18EverybodySaysDon't

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MaryAliceVoiceover:

PreviouslyonDesperateHousewives...

Carlos:

Well,ifLibbyherelikesusasmuchaswelikeher,weshouldjustgoaheadandmovetoadoptherbabygirl.

Gabrielle:

Who'sthefather?

Libby:

Honestly,Idon'tknow.

MaryAliceVoiceover:

CarlosandGabymadeadeal...

Susan:

Ididremarrymyex,butitwasonlybecausehehasgreathealthinsurance.

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Susanmadeamends...

Ron:

Youknow,IneverthoughtI'dhavesuchagoodtimehangingoutwithmygirlfriendandherhusband.

MaryAliceVoiceover:

AndMike...

Mike:

Didn'tshementionwedated?

MaryAliceVoiceover:

...madeaconfession...

Ron:

Liar!

You'vejustbeenleadingmeon!

You'reobviouslystillinlovewiththisguy!

MaryAliceVoiceover...ofhisown.

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[Bree'sKitchen]

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Onherfirstdayofsobriety,BreeVandeKampfoundanoldcork,whichremindedherjusthowmuchshecravedChablis.

（Breepicksupacorkoffhercounter.Shesmellsitdeeplywithhereyesclosed.）

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[Flashback-Bree'sLivingRoom]

（PeterandBreearesittingwatchingTVeatingpopcorn.）

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Soshecalledhersponsor,whocameoverwithaDVDwhichtheywatchedtillhercravinghadpassed.

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[Flashback-Bree'sFamilyRoom]

（PeterandBreeareplayingcards.）

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Fivedayslater,aftershedevelopedathirstformerlot,Peterarrivedwithadeckofcards.

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[Flashback-Bree'sDiningRoom]

（BreeandPeterareeating.）

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Thenextweek,hebroughtoverChinesetakeoutbecauseBreeadtoldhimshewasconsumedbythoughtsofvintagechardonnay.

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[Present-Bree'sDiningRoom]

（BreeandPeterareplayingchess.BreeisstaringatPeterashecontemplatestheboard.）

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Byher20thdayofsobriety,Breehadstoppedthinkingaboutalcoholaltogether

becauseherthoughtswerenowcenteredelsewhere.

Bree:

I'mcurious,Peter.Whatistheeasiestwaytoovercomeaddiction?

Peter:

Oh,somefolkstryshocktherapy.Otheruse,hypnosis.Buttakingitonedayatatimestillmakesthemostsensetome.Why?

Bree:

Idon'tknow.IguessI'mjustimpatienttogetonwithmylife.

（BreeleansoverandkissesPeteronthecheek.）

Peter:

Whatareyoudoing?

Bree:

Iwasjustgivingyoualittlekiss.

Peter:

Why?

Bree:

Well,it'sjustmywayofsayingthankyouforeverythingyou'vedoneformeoverthepastfewweeks.What's...wrong?

Peter:

Thisisgonnaseemlikeit'scomingoutofleftfield,butinadditiontobeingarecoveringalcoholic,I'malsoamemberofS.A.SexAddictsAnonymous.

（Breelaughs.）

Bree:

Andthat'sa...arealthing?

Peter:

Yes.Sexisasmuchanaddictionformeasbooze.That'swhywhenyouturnmeonlikethat,it'sabitofaproblem.

Bree:

Itwasjustapeckonthecheek.

Peter:

Itdoesn'tmatter.Theslightesttouchgetsmyjuicesflowing.

Bree:

So...howlonghasitbeensinceyou--

Peter:

Ayear.Theyhavethisrule--plant,pet,person.IfIcankeepaplantalive,youknow,thenIcanmoveontoapet.AndifIcanmakethatwork,thenIcanstartdatingagain.

Bree:

Sohowareyoudoing?

Peter:

I'monmyfourthficus.

Bree:

Oh.

（BreeleansoverandkissesPeteronthelips.）

Bree:

See?

Ithinkyoucanhandleaffectionbetterthanyougiveyourselfcreditfor.

（PetergrabsBreeandbeginskissingher.HeripsoffhisT-shirtandpushesherdownonthetable,knockingeverythingoff.Hestopssuddenlyandgetsoffher.）

Bree:

What?

Peter:

I'msorry.IthinkIshouldgo.

（Herunsout.）

Bree:

Really?

Peter!

But--but...youforgotyourshirt!

Peter:

Keepit.

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Thoughshedidn'tknowit,Breehadansweredherownquestion.Theeasiestwaytoovercomeoneaddiction...istoreplaceitwithanother.

（Bree,lyingonthetable,smellsandhugsPeter'sshirt.）

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OpeningCredits

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[TemptationStripClub]

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Temptation--

（Manymenwatchapoledancer.）

MaryAliceVoiceover:

it'sthenameofawell-knownestablishmentontheoutskirtsofFairview.Itsclienteleisdevoted.Everyonewhogoestherewantstogettheirhandsonsomething.

（Astripperisgivingamanalapdance.）

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Andwhentheycrossaline...

（Themangettingthelapdancetouchesthestripper'slegandFrank,thebouncer,runsup.）

Frank:

Iwarnedyou,pal.

MaryAliceVoiceover:

...theyarepunished...

（Franktakesthemanaway.）

MaryAliceVoiceover:

Asacertainmarriedcouplewereabouttodiscover.

（AstripperwalksuptoatablewhereGabrielleandCarlosaresittingwithawrappedpresentinfrontofthem.）

Stripper:

Youwantalapdance?

Carlos:

No,thanks.No.

（Thestripperwalksaway.Carloswatchesasshewalksaway.）

Carlos:

IsurehopeLibbylikesthiscamera.

Gabrielle:

Well,whywouldn'tshe?

It'sexactlywhatsheaskedfor,themostexpensiveoneinthestore.Youknow,I'mtellingyou,Carlos.I'mgettingreallytiredofkissingherass.

Carlos:

Thewomanisgivingusherbaby.We'llkisswhateverneedskissing.

（Libbywalksup.）

Libby:

Whatthehellareyouguysdoinghere?

Carlos:

Uh,webroughtyouthisgift,andyousaidthatyoudidn'twantuscomingbyyourhouse...

Libby:

Thanks,butI'mworking,soyougottago.

Gabrielle:

Look,wespentalotofmoneyonthat.Theleastyoucandoisopenitsowecanbaskinyourhappyexpression.

（FrankwalksupbehindLibby.）

Frank:

Isthereaproblemhere?

Libby:

No,we'rejusttalking.It's--everything'sfine.

Carlos:

CarlosSolis.Thisismywife,Gabrielle.We'refriendsofLibby's.

Frank:

Oh,hey,I'mFrank,Libby'sboyfriend.

Gabrielle:

Libby,youdidn'ttellusyouhadaboyfriend.

Libby:

Didn'tI?

IthoughtIhad.

Frank:

What'sthat,apresentforourbaby?

Carlos:

I'msorry,didyoujustsay"our"baby?

Frank:

It'sourfirst.

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[Susan'sDiningRoom]

（SusanandJuliearehavinglunchwhenKarlenters.）

Karl:

What'sforlunch?

Susan:

Omelettes.Youwantmetomakeyouone?

Karl:

No,thankyou.I'lljustpickatyours.

Julie:

Ididn'tknowyoustillhadakey,dad.

Karl:

OfcourseIdo.Ihavetowatchoutformytwofavoriteladies.

Susan:

Trythecheese.That'sthebestpart.

（Shefeedshimsomeoftheomelettefromherfork.）

Julie:

Youmean,twoofyourthreefavoriteladies.Youknow,whenyouaddinedie.

Karl:

Right!

Ofcourse.AndspeakingofEdie,Ihavesomebignews.Ifinallydidit.Ipoppedthequestion.

Julie:

Congratulations,dad!

Susan:

Yeah...congratulations.Whathappenedtowaitingsixmonths?

Karl:

EdieandIaren'tgettingmarriedtomorrow.Ittakesmonthstoplanaclassywedding,youknow?

Rememberours,hmm?

Youhadtohaveitoutdoors?

Susan:

Itpoured.Icouldhavemurderedthatweatherman.

Karl:

Wewereallcrammedunderthislittlegazebothingy.

Susan:

Itwashysterical.Ithoughtthewholeweddingdaywasruined.

Karl:

Ilovedit!

Itfeltspontaneous.Allourfriendsgatheredclosearoundus?

Remember?

Yousaiditwasthehappiestdayofyourlife.

Julie:

JustlikeyoumarryingEdiewillbethehappiestdayofherlife.

Karl:

Yeah.Right.

Susan:

Her,too.

Karl:

Toodles.

（Heleaves.）

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[Bree'sKitchen]

（BreewalksintofindMr.Bormanisisintherefrigeratorgettingasoda.）

Bormanis:

Oh,Hi.

Bree:

Hello.

Bormanis:

Andrewsaiditwasallrightformetogetacreamsoda.

Bree:

Uh,sure.Helpyourself.There'salsofrostedglassesinthefreezer.

Bormanis:

Canisfine,butthankyou.Ileftalistforyouofthewitnesseswe'llbedeposing.It's,thereonthecounter.

（Mr.Bormaniswalksout.Breepicksupthelist.LynetteScavoisthefirstname.）

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[Lynette'sPorch-Daytime]

（LynetteispickinguptoyswhenBreewalksup.）

Bree:

Iknowthatyou'restillangrywithme,and,IwantedtotellyouthatIhave,joinedarecoveryprogram.A.A.Ijustwantedyoutoknowthat...andtotellyouI'msorry.Youare...arealfriend,andIvalueyourhonesty.

Lynette:

Oh,Idon'twannabemadanymore.andI'msohappytohearallthat,andIamsoproudofyou.

Bree:

Thanks,butI'mnotreallyoutofthewoodsyet.Istillhavethiswholecourtcasehangingovermyhead.

Lynette:

Iheardaboutthat.Andrew'saskingtobeemancipated?

Bree:

Yes,andhislawyeristakingdepositionsnowtoseeifIamafitparent.AndconsideringthatmishapthatIhadwithyourkids,I,uh,Iimaginehe'llbeanxioustotalktoyou.

Lynette:

Well,itmakessense,Iguess.

Bree:

Doyouhaveanyideawhatyoumightsay?

Lynette:

I,I'llfocusonyourgoodqualities.

Bree:

Icouldnotaskforanythingmore.Thanks.Seeyouaround,Ihope.

Lynette:

Allright.That's...notwhyyoucametoapologize,isit?

Bree:

Whatdoyoumean?

Lynette:

Tosoftenmeupforthedeposition.

Bree:

Ofcoursenot.Ijustwantyoutounderstandsomething.Andrewismakingaccusations--falseaccusations,sayingthatIabusedhim,allbecauseIwouldn'tlethimhavehistrustfundearlysohecouldbuyacar.Imean,canyoublamemeforwantingtoknowifIhaveyoursupport?

Lynette:

And...so...what,youwantmetolie?

Makeyoulookgood?

Bree:

Iactuallydon'twantanythingofthe