老友记第一季第一集 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate.docx

老友记第一季第一集 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate.docx

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老友记第一季第一集TheOneWhereMonicaGetsaNewRoommate

101TheOneWhereMonicaGetsaNewRoommate莫妮卡的新室友（133单词）

（ThePilot-TheUncutVersion）

[Scene:

CentralPerk,Chandler,Joey,Phoebe,andMonicaarethere.]

Monica:

There'snothingtotell!

He'sjustsomeguyIworkwith!

没什么好说的！

他不过是我的同事！

Joey:

C'mon,you'regoingoutwiththeguy!

There'sgottabesomethingwrongwithhim!

少来了，你和那个人一起出去！

和你交往的男人一定有问题！

Chandler:

AllrightJoey,benice. Sodoeshehaveahump?

Ahumpandahairpiece?

打住，乔伊，嘴下留德。

他驼背？

既驼背又带假发？

Phoebe:

Wait,doesheeatchalk?

慢着，他吃粉笔吗？

（Theyallstare,bemused.）

Phoebe:

Just,'cause,Idon'twanthertogothroughwhatIwentthroughwithCarl-oh!

我只是不想你重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙

Monica:

Okay,everybodyrelax.Thisisnotevenadate.It'sjusttwopeoplegoingouttodinnerand-nothavingsex.

各位别急，这不算约会，我们不过是出去吃晚餐，而且不做爱。

Chandler:

Soundslikeadatetome.听起来好像是说我的约会

[TimeLapse]

Chandler:

Alright,soI'mbackinhighschool,I'mstandinginthemiddleofthecafeteria,andIrealizeIamtotallynaked.

记得中学时代的梦，我站在自助餐厅。

突然发现自己全身赤裸

All:

Oh,yeah.Hadthatdream.我做过那样的梦

Chandler:

ThenIlookdown,andIrealizethere'saphone...there.

我低头一看，看见有一支电话…

Joey:

Insteadof...?

在那儿，而不是…？

Chandler:

That'sright.-没错

Joey:

Neverhadthatdream.我没做过那样的梦

Phoebe:

No.

Chandler:

Allofasudden,thephonestartstoring.NowIdon'tknowwhattodo,everybodystartslookingatme.

突然,那个电话响了，我不知道该怎么办,大家都看着我

Monica:

Andtheyweren'tlookingatyoubefore?

!

之前他们就不看着你?

!

Chandler:

Finally,IfigureI'dbetteranswerit,anditturnsoutit'smymother,whichisvery-veryweird,because-shenevercallsme!

最后,我觉得应该接这个电话，发现是我妈妈打来的，这十分怪因为….她从来不打电话给我!

[TimeLapse,Rosshasentered.]

Ross:

（mortified）Hi.

Joey:

Thisguysayshello,Iwannakillmyself.

这家伙说“你好”的时候,我总想杀了我自己

Monica:

Areyouokay,sweetie?

你还好吧?

Ross:

Ijustfeellikesomeonereacheddownmythroat,grabbedmysmallintestine,pulleditoutofmymouthandtieditaroundmyneck...

我就感觉好像某人伸手进我的喉咙,抓住我的小肠,从我的嘴里拉出来，再在我的脖子上打结…

Chandler:

Cookie?

要饼干吗?

Monica:

（explainingtotheothers）Carolmovedherstuffouttoday.

卡箩今天搬走了她的东西

Joey:

Ohh.

Monica:

（toRoss）Letmegetyousomecoffee.我给你拿咖啡

Ross:

Thanks.

Phoebe:

Ooh!

Oh!

（ShestartstopluckattheairjustinfrontofRoss.）

Ross:

No,nodon't!

Stopcleansingmyaura!

No,justleavemyauraalone,okay?

不,不要!

不要清理我的气息!

不要管我的气息,好吗?

Phoebe:

Fine!

 Bemurky!

好呀!

继续痛苦吧!

Ross:

I'llbefine,alright?

Really,everyone.Ihopeshe'llbeveryhappy.

我会没事的,好吧?

.真的,各位,我希望她开心

Monica:

Noyoudon't.不,你并不希望

Ross:

NoIdon't,tohellwithher,sheleftme!

是的，我不希望！

去她的,她离开了我!

Joey:

Andyouneverknewshewasalesbian...

你又不知道她是女同性恋

Ross:

No!

!

Okay?

!

Whydoeseveryonekeepfixatingonthat?

Shedidn'tknow,howshouldIknow?

不知道!

!

行了吧?

!

为什么每个人老是提它?

她都不知道,我怎么会知道?

Chandler:

SometimesIwishIwasalesbian...（Theyallstareathim.）DidIsaythatoutloud?

有时候我希望我是女同性恋…我大声说出来啦?

Ross:

Itoldmomanddadlastnight,theyseemedtotakeitprettywell.

我昨晚告诉爸爸妈妈了,他们看起来没什么问题

Monica:

Ohreally,sothathystericalphonecallIgotfromawomanatsobbing3:

00A.M.,"I'llneverhavegrandchildren,I'llneverhavegrandchildren."waswhat?

 Awrongnumber?

噢,真的吗?

那我凌晨三点接到一个女人打来的可笑电话,她在电话中抽泣说“我不会有孙子了,我不会有孙子了.”那是怎么回事?

打错电话啦?

Ross:

Sorry.

Joey:

AlrightRoss,look.You'refeelingalotofpainrightnow.You'reangry.You'rehurting.CanItellyouwhattheansweris?

没事的,罗斯,瞧.你现在感到很痛苦，你很生气.你感到伤心，我告诉你答案是什么?

（Rossgestureshisconsent.）

Joey:

Stripjoint!

C'mon,you'resingle!

Havesomehormones!

脱衣舞俱乐部!

别这样,你单身了!

有需求的!

Ross:

Idon'twanttobesingle,okay?

Ijust...Ijust-Ijustwannabemarriedagain!

我不想单身,好吗?

我只想….再次结婚!

（Rachelentersinawetweddingdressandstartstosearchtheroom.）

Chandler:

AndIjustwantamilliondollars!

（Heextendshishandhopefully.）

而我只想要100万美金!

Monica:

Rachel?

!

Rachel:

OhGodMonicahi!

ThankGod!

Ijustwenttoyourbuildingandyouweren'tthereandthenthisguywithabighammersaidyoumightbehereandyouare,youare!

噢,上帝,莫妮卡,你好,感谢上帝!

我刚到你那里去,而你不在，那个拿着大锤子的家伙说你可能在这里,你真在这里,你真在这里!

Waitress:

CanIgetyousomecoffee?

你想点咖啡吗?

Monica:

（pointingatRachel）De-caff.（toAll）Okay,everybody,thisisRachel,anotherLincolnHighsurvivor.（toRachel）Thisiseverybody,thisisChandler,andPhoebe,andJoey,and-youremembermybrotherRoss?

无咖啡因的，好了,各位,这位是瑞秋,另一个林肯高中的幸存者，这就是各位啦，这是钱德,菲比，乔伊.还有，你还记得我哥哥Ross吗?

Rachel:

Hi,sure!

Ross:

Hi.

（TheygotohugbutRoss'sumbrellaopens. Hesitsbackdowndefeatedagain. AmomentofsilencefollowsasRachelsitsandtheothersexpecthertoexplain.）

Monica:

Soyouwannatellusnow,orarewewaitingforfourwetbridesmaids?

那你现在可以告诉我们了吗,还是说我们在等着四位湿漉的伴娘?

Rachel:

OhGod...well,itstartedaboutahalfhourbeforethewedding.Iwasintheroomwherewewerekeepingallthepresents,andIwaslookingatthisgravyboat.ThisreallygorgeousLamaugegravyboat.Whenallofasudden-（tothewaitressthatbroughthercoffee）Sweet'n'Lo?

-IrealizedthatIwasmoreturnedonbythisgravyboatthanbyBarry!

AndthenIgotreallyfreakedout,andthat'swhenithitme:

howmuchBarrylookslikeMr.PotatoHead.Y'know,Imean,Ialwaysknewlookedfamiliar,but...Anyway,Ijusthadtogetoutofthere,andIstartedwondering'WhyamIdoingthis,andwhoamIdoingthisfor?

'.（toMonica）SoanywayIjustdidn'tknowwheretogo,andIknowthatyouandIhavekindadriftedapart,butyou'retheonlypersonIknewwholivedhereinthecity.

好吧,大概在婚礼前半个小时.我在礼品间里，我正看着那个船形卤肉盘.那是个非常好看的船形卤肉盘，然后,突然-（有糖吗?

）我发现我对这个船形卤肉盘比对Barry更有冲动!

然后我吓呆了,突然想到:

Barry看起来多象土豆头先生呀，我总是觉得他眼熟,但是…不管怎么说,我必须离开那里,我在想“我为什么这样做,我为谁这样做?

”我不知道该去哪里,而且我知道我和你有点疏远了，但你是我这个城市里唯一认识的人。

Monica:

Whowasn'tinvitedtothewedding.

还没有被邀请到婚礼上.

Rachel:

Ooh,Iwaskindahopingthatwouldn'tbeanissue...[Scene:

Monica'sApartment,everyoneisthereandwatchingaSpanishSoaponTVandaretryingtofigureoutwhatisgoingon.]

噢,我不希望提起这件事….

Monica:

NowI'mguessingthatheboughtherthebigpipeorgan,andshe'sreallynothappyaboutit.

我猜他给她买了个管风琴,而她很不喜欢那个。

Chandler:

（imitatingthecharacters）Tunaoreggsalad?

 Decide!

吐拿鱼或鸡蛋沙拉?

快决定!

Ross:

（inadeepvoice）I'llhavewhateverChristineishaving.

“克莉丝汀吃什么我吃什么.”

Rachel:

（onphone）Daddy,Ijust...Ican'tmarryhim!

I'msorry.Ijustdon'tlovehim.Well,itmatterstome!

（ThesceneonTVhaschangedtoshowtwowomen,oneisholdingherhair.）

爸爸,我只是…不能嫁给他!

对不起,我只是不爱他了，这对我很有关系!

Phoebe:

 IfIletgoofmyhair,myheadwillfalloff.Chandler:

（reTV）Ooh,sheshouldnotbewearingthosepants.

“如果我不抓着我的头发,我的头就会掉下来.”噢,她真不应该穿那条裤子

Joey:

Isaypushherdownthestairs.Phoebe,Ross,Chandler,andJoey:

 Pushherdownthestairs!

Pushherdownthestairs!

Pushherdownthestairs!

我说把她推下楼，把她推下楼!

把她推下楼!

把她推下楼!

（Sheispusheddownthestairsandeveryonecheers.）

Rachel:

C'monDaddy,listentome!

It'slike,it'slike,allofmylife,everyonehasalwaystoldme,'You'reashoe!

You'reashoe,you'reashoe,you'reashoe!

'.AndtodayIjuststoppedandIsaid,'WhatifIdon'twannabeashoe?

WhatifIwannabea-apurse,y'know?

Ora-orahat!

No,I'mnotsayingIwantyoutobuymeahat,I'msayingIamaha-It'sametaphor,Daddy!

爸爸,听我说!

这就好像,在我一生中,所有人都告诉我,“你是鞋子!

”“你是鞋子,你是鞋子,你是鞋子!

”然后今天,我不这么认为了,对我自己说,'如果我不想成为鞋子呢?

如果我想成为一个包?

或一顶帽?

不,我不是让你给我买帽子，这是个比喻,爸爸!

Ross:

Youcanseewherehe'dhavetrouble.

你能发现他哪里出问题了

Rachel:

LookDaddy,it'smylife.WellmaybeI'lljuststayherewithMonica.

爸爸,这是我的生活，

Monica:

Well,Iguesswe'veestablishedwho'sstayingherewithMonica...

我猜我们已经确定，她和莫妮卡住在一起了…

Rachel:

Well,maybethat'smydecision.Well,maybeIdon'tneedyourmoney.Wait!

!

Wait,Isaidmaybe!

!

[TimeLapse,Rachelisbreatingintoapaperbag.]

也许我可以和莫妮卡住在一起，也许我不需要你的钱，等等！

我说也许!

!

Monica:

Justbreathe,breathe..that'sit.Justtrytothinkofnicecalmthings...Phoebe:

（sings）Raindropsonrosesandrabbitsandkittens,（RachelandMonicaturntolookather.）bluebellsandsleighbellsand-somethingwithmittens...Lalalala...somethingandnoodleswithstring. Theseareafew...

呼吸,呼吸,对啦，只想着一些让你镇定的好东西…玫瑰上的雨滴，还有猫的胡须，门铃和雪橇铃还有手套…啦啦啦,还有一些面条…

Rachel:

I'mallbetternow.我现在好多了

Phoebe:

（grinsandwalkstothekitchenandsaystoChandlerandJoey.）Ihelped!

我的功劳!

Monica:

Okay,look,thisisprobablyforthebest,y'know?

Independence.Takingcontrolofyourlife. Thewhole,'hat'thing.

瞧,这也许是最好的?

独立了,把握自己的生活.就像你说的“帽子”的事情。

Joey:

（comfortingher）Andhey,youneedanything,youcanalwayscometoJoey.MeandChandlerliveacrossthehall.Andhe'sawayalot.

还有,你还需要什么,你可以来找乔伊，我和钱德就住在对面.而且他经常不在.

Monica:

Joey,stophittingonher!

It'sherweddingday!

乔伊,不要再调戏她了!

今天是她结婚的日子!

Joey:

What,likethere'saruleorsomething?

怎么啦,难道这还有什么规定吗?

（ThedoorbuzzersoundsandChandlergetsit.）

Chandler:

Pleasedon'tdothatagain,it'sahorriblesound.

请不要再这么干,那是很讨厌的声音

Paul:

（overtheintercom）It's,uh,it'sPaul.

Monica:

OhGod,isit6:

30?

 Buzzhimin!

天呀,到6:

30了吗?

让他进来!

Joey:

Who'sPaul?

Ross:

PaultheWineGuy,Paul?

保罗,调酒师,保罗?

Monica:

Maybe.Joey:

Wait.Your'notarealdate'tonightiswithPaultheWineGuy?

也许是吧，等等,你今晚的“不是真正约会”是和调酒师保罗?

Ross:

Hefinallyaskedyouout?

他终于约你出去啦?

Monica:

Yes!

Chandler:

Ooh,thisisaDearDiarymoment.

噢,真是个可以载入日记的时刻。

Monica:

Rach,wait,Icancancel...瑞秋,等等,我可以取消….

Rachel:

Please,no,go,that'dbefine!

不,别,你去吧,没什么的!

Monica:

（toRoss）Are,areyouokay?

Imean,doyouwantmetostay?

Ross,你还好吧?

你希望我留下来吗?

Ross:

（chokedvoice）That'dbegood...那会很好的…

Monica:

（horrified）Really?

Ross:

（normalvoice）No,goon!

It'sPaultheWineGuy!

不,去吧!

那可是调酒师保罗!

Phoebe:

Whatdoesthatmean?

 Doeshesellit,drinkit,orjustcomplainalot?

（Chandlerdoesn'tknow.）

那是什么意思?

他卖酒,喝酒，还是抱怨酒?

（There'saknockonthedoor