关于英语的简单笑话大全Word文件下载.docx
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什么狗比大楼跳的还高?
Anydog,buildingscan'
tjump!
任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。
3.
Whathasahead,atail,andnobody?
什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体?
Acoin!
硬币。
4.
Whathasoneeyebutcannotsee?
什么有一只眼睛，却看不见?
Aneedle.
针。
5.
Wife:
"
Howwouldyoudescribeme?
"
妻子：
你会怎么形容我呢?
Husband:
ABCDEFGHIJK."
丈夫：
ABCDEFGHIJK.
Wife:
Whatdoesthatmean?
那是什么意思?
Adorable,beautiful,cute,delightful,elegant,fashionable,gorgeous,andhot."
迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。
Aw,thankyou,butwhataboutIJK?
妻子：
哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?
I'
mjustkidding!
开个玩笑!
篇二：
看笑话学英语笑话大全爆笑翻译
1.Onedayavisitorfromthecitycametoasmallruralareatodrivearoundthecountryroads,seehowthefarmslooked,andperhapstoseehowfarmersearnedtheirliving.Thecitymansawafarmerinhisyard,holdingapigupinhishands,andliftingitsothatthepigcouldeatapplesfromanappletree.Thecitymansaidtothefarmer,"
Iseethatyourpiglikesapples,butisn"
tthatquiteawasteoftime?
Thefarmerreplied,"
What"
stimetoapig?
一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。
这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。
城里人对农夫说，"
我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?
那位农夫回答说，"
时间对猪有什么意义?
2.TheLooneyBin
Lateonenightattheinsaneasylum（疯人院）oneinmateshouted,"
IamNapoleon!
”Anotheronesaid,"
Howdoyouknow?
Thefirstinmatesaid,"
Godtoldme!
Justthen,avoicefromanotherroomshouted,"
Ididnot!
疯人院
一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：
“我是拿破仑！
”另一个说：
“你怎么知道？
”第一个人说：
“上帝对我说的！
”一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：
“我没说！
”
Notes:
（1）Looney（俚语）疯子
（2）inmate（n.同住者,同室者（特指在医院、监狱））
（3）insaneasylum（疯人院）
3.BoxingandRunning
Danisteachinghissonhowtobox.Ashedoesso,helefthisfriend,"
Thisisatoughworld,soI’mteachingmyboytofight."
Friend:
Butsupposehecomesupagainstsomeonemuchbiggerthanheis,who’salsobeentaughthowtobox."
Dan:
I’mteachinghimhowtorun,too."
拳击和赛跑
丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。
他告诉他的朋友：
“这是一个粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼搏。
朋友：
“如果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大，健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办？
丹：
“我也会教他怎么样赛跑呢。
NOTE
comeupagainst遇到一个对手against表示相对的相反的
4.ThewardenoftheprisonfeltsorryforoneofhisinmatesbecauseeveryweekendonVisitor’sDay,mostoftheprisonershadfamilymembersandfriendscoming,butpoorGeorgealwayssataloneinhiscell.
SooneVisitor’sDay,thewardencalledGeorgetohisofficeandsaid,"
Inoticeyou’veneverhadanyvisitors,George."
Sympathetic,heputhishandonGeorge’sshoulder."
Tellme,don’tyouhaveanyfriendsorfamily?
Georgereplied,"
Oh,sureIdo,Warden.It’sjustthatthey’reallinhere!
典狱长对狱中一位囚犯深感同情，因为每逢周末的探访日，大多数囚犯都有家人或朋友来访，但是可怜的乔治总是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。
因此在一个探访日，典狱长把乔治叫到办公室说：
“乔治，我注意到从来没有人来探望过你。
”他满怀同情地把手放在乔治的肩膀上：
“告诉我，你没有任何朋友或家人吗？
乔治回答：
“喔！
当然有，典狱长，只不过他们全都在这里面！
5.Policeman:
Whydidn'
tyoushoutforhelpwhenyouwererobbedofyourwatch?
Man:
IfIhadopenedmymouth,they'
dhavefoundmyfourgoldteeth.Thatwouldbemuchworse.
警察：
有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？
男子：
要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。
那就更糟了。
6.Ashoplifter（商店扒手）|wascaughtred-handedtryingtostealawatchfromajewelrystore."
Listen,"
saidtheshoplifter,"
Iknowyoudon'
twantanytroubleeither.WhatdoyousayIjustbuythewatch,andweforgetaboutthis?
Themanageragreedandwroteupthesalesslip.Thecrook（骗子，坏蛋）lookedattheslipandsaid,"
ThisisalittlemorethanIintendedtospend."
一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。
“听着，”小偷说，“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。
我把这只表买下，然后我们就当什么也没发生，你看怎样？
经理表示同意，然后列了一张售货单。
小偷看着单子说道：
“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点，你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。
7.Thesuspicious-lookingmandroveuptotheborder,wherehewasgreetedbyasentry（哨兵）.Whentheguardlookedinthetrunk,hewassurprisedtofindsixsacksbulgingattheseams（缝合线）.[来自我要看笑话]
"
What'
sinhere?
heasked.
Dirt,"
thedriverreplied.
Takethemout,"
theguardinstructed."
Iwanttocheckthem."
Obliging,themanremovedthebags,andsureenough,eachoneofthemcontainednothingbutdirt.Reluctantly,theguardlethimgo.
Aweeklaterthemancameback,andonceagain,thesentrylookedinthetruck.
sinthebagsthistime?
Dirt,moredirt."
saidtheman.
Notbelievinghim,theguardcheckedthesacksand,onceagain,hefoundnothingbutsoil.
Thesamethinghappenedeveryweekforsixmonths,anditfinallybecamesofrustratingtotheguardthathequitandbecameabartender（酒保）.
篇三：
英语幽默小笑话大全
英语幽默小笑话大全
1.akiss
Atadinnerparty,thespeaker,whowastheguestofhonor,wasabouttodeliveraspeechwhenhiswifesittingattheotherendofthetable,senthimapieceofpaperwiththeword"
KISS"
scribbledonit.
Theguestseatednexttothespeakersaid,"
Yourwifemustloveyouverymuch,Iseehersendyoua'
KISS'
beforeyoubeginyourspeech."
Thespeakersmiledandexplained,"
Youdon'
tknowmywife.The'
shegivemestandsfor'
KeepItShort,Stupid.'
2.agreatman
WouldShakespearebeagreatmanifhewerestillalivetoday?
Student:
Ofcourse.Hemustbeagreatman,forsofarnobodyhaslivedtoover400years.
一名伟人
老师：
如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗？
学生：
当然。
因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。
3.buyingyourticket
Threeengineersandthreeaccountantsaretravelingbytraintoaconference.Atthestation,thethreeaccountantseachbuyticketsandwatchasthethreeengineersbuyonlyasingleticket.
Howarethreepeoplegoingtotravelononlyoneticket?
asksanaccountant."
Watchandyou'
llsee,"
answersanengineer.Theyallboardthetrain.Theaccountantstaketheirrespectiveseatsbutallthreeengineerscramintoarestroomandclosethedoorbehindthem.
Shortlyafterthetrainhasdeparted,theconductorcomesaroundcollectingtickets.Heknocksontherestroomdoorandsays,"
ticket,please."
Thedooropensjustacrackandasinglearmemergeswithaticketinhand.Theconductortakesitandmoveson.
Theaccountantssawthisandagreeditwasquiteacleveridea.Soaftertheconference,theaccountantsdecidetocopytheengineersonthereturntripandsavesomemoney（beingcleverwithmoney,andall!
）Whentheygettothestationtheybuyasingleticketforthereturntrip.
Totheirastonishment,theengineersdon'
tbuyaticketatall."
Howareyougoingtotravelwithoutaticket?
saysoneperplexedaccountant.
answersanengineer.Whentheyboardthetrainthethreeaccountantscramintoarestroomandthethreeengineerscramintoanotheronenearby.Thetraindeparts.
Shortlyafterward,oneoftheengineersleaveshisrestroomandwalksovertotherestroomwheretheaccountantsarehiding.Heknocksonthedoorandsays,"
4.
TwoCutedogs
Amanwalksintoashopandseesacutelittledog.
Heaskstheshopkeeper,"
Doesyourdogbite?
Theshopkeepersays,"
No,mydogdoesnotbite."
Themantriestopetthedogandthedogbiteshim.
"
Ouch,"
hesays,"
Ithoughtyousaidyourdogdoesnotbite!
Theshopkeeperreplies,"
Thatisnotmydog."
苏子玮
升级会员 