TED演讲幸福无关财富名望和工作双语.docx

TED演讲幸福无关财富名望和工作双语.docx

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TED演讲幸福无关财富名望和工作双语

TED演讲:

幸福无关财富、名望和工作双语

这是一篇由网络搜集整理的关于TED演讲:

幸福无关财富、名望和工作（双语）的文档，希望对你能有帮助。

　　哈佛大学在75年里追踪了724段人生，发现“幸福”无关富有、名望和辛勤工作，良好的人际关系让我们保持健康和快乐。

　　正如马克·吐温所说：

“生命如此短暂，我们没有时间去互相争吵、道歉、发泄和责备，时间只够用于去爱。

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　　WhatkeepsushealthyandhappyaswegothroughlifeIfyouweregoingtoinvestnowinyourfuturebestself,wherewouldyouputyourtimeandyourenergyTherewasarecentsurveyofmillennialsaskingthemwhattheirmostimportantlifegoalswere,andover80percentsaidthatamajorlifegoalforthemwastogetrich.Andanother50percentofthosesameyoungadultssaidthatanothermajorlifegoalwastobecomefamous.

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　　（Laughter）

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　　Andwe'reconstantlytoldtoleanintowork,topushharderandachievemore.We'regiventheimpressionthatthesearethethingsthatweneedtogoafterinordertohaveagoodlife.Picturesofentirelives,ofthechoicesthatpeoplemakeandhowthosechoicesworkoutforthem,thosepicturesarealmostimpossibletoget.Mostofwhatweknowabouthumanlifeweknowfromaskingpeopletorememberthepast,andasweknow,hindsightisanythingbut20/20.Weforgetvastamountsofwhathappenstousinlife,andsometimesmemoryisdownrightcreative.

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　　ButwhatifwecouldwatchentirelivesastheyunfoldthroughtimeWhatifwecouldstudypeoplefromthetimethattheywereteenagersallthewayintooldagetoseewhatreallykeepspeoplehappyandhealthy

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　　Wedidthat.TheHarvardStudyofAdultDevelopmentmaybethelongeststudyofadultlifethat'severbeendone.For75years,we'vetrackedthelivesof724men,yearafteryear,askingabouttheirwork,theirhomelives,theirhealth,andofcourseaskingallalongthewaywithoutknowinghowtheirlifestoriesweregoingtoturnout.

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　　Studieslikethisareexceedinglyrare.Almostallprojectsofthiskindfallapartwithinadecadebecausetoomanypeopledropoutofthestudy,orfundingfortheresearchdriesup,ortheresearchersgetdistracted,ortheydie,andnobodymovestheballfurtherdownthefield.Butthroughacombinationofluckandthepersistenceofseveralgenerationsofresearchers,thisstudyhassurvived.About60ofouroriginal724menarestillalive,stillparticipatinginthestudy,mostofthemintheir90s.Andwearenowbeginningtostudythemorethan2,000childrenofthesemen.AndI'mthefourthdirectorofthestudy.

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　　Since1938,we'vetrackedthelivesoftwogroupsofmen.ThefirstgroupstartedinthestudywhentheyweresophomoresatHarvardCollege.TheyallfinishedcollegeduringWorldWarII,andthenmostwentofftoserveinthewar.Andthesecondgroupthatwe'vefollowedwasagroupofboysfromBoston'spoorestneighborhoods,boyswhowerechosenforthestudyspecificallybecausetheywerefromsomeofthemosttroubledanddisadvantagedfamiliesintheBostonofthe1930s.Mostlivedintenements,manywithouthotandcoldrunningwater.

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　　Whentheyenteredthestudy,alloftheseteenagerswereinterviewed.Theyweregivenmedicalexams.Wewenttotheirhomesandweinterviewedtheirparents.Andthentheseteenagersgrewupintoadultswhoenteredallwalksoflife.Theybecamefactoryworkersandlawyersandbricklayersanddoctors,onePresidentoftheUnitedStates.Somedevelopedalcoholism.Afewdevelopedschizophrenia.Someclimbedthesocialladderfromthebottomallthewaytotheverytop,andsomemadethatjourneyintheoppositedirection.

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　　ThefoundersofthisstudywouldneverintheirwildestdreamshaveimaginedthatIwouldbestandingheretoday,75yearslater,tellingyouthatthestudystillcontinues.Everytwoyears,ourpatientanddedicatedresearchstaffcallsupourmenandasksthemifwecansendthemyetonemoresetofquestionsabouttheirlives.

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　　ManyoftheinnercityBostonmenaskus,"Whydoyoukeepwantingtostudyme

Mylifejustisn'tthatinteresting."TheHarvardmenneveraskthatquestion.

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　　（Laughter）

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　　Togettheclearestpictureoftheselives,wedon'tjustsendthemquestionnaires.Weinterviewthemintheirlivingrooms.Wegettheirmedicalrecordsfromtheirdoctors.Wedrawtheirblood,wescantheirbrains,wetalktotheirchildren.Wevideotapethemtalkingwiththeirwivesabouttheirdeepestconcerns.Andwhen,aboutadecadeago,wefinallyaskedthewivesiftheywouldjoinusasmembersofthestudy,manyofthewomensaid,"Youknow,it'sabouttime."

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　　（Laughter）

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　　SowhathavewelearnedWhatarethelessonsthatcomefromthetensofthousandsofpagesofinformationthatwe'vegeneratedontheselivesWell,thelessonsaren'taboutwealthorfameorworkingharderandharder.Theclearestmessagethatwegetfromthis75-yearstudyisthis:

Goodrelationshipskeepushappierandhealthier.Period.

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　　We'velearnedthreebiglessonsaboutrelationships.Thefirstisthatsocialconnectionsarereallygoodforus,andthatlonelinesskills.Itturnsoutthatpeoplewhoaremoresociallyconnectedtofamily,tofriends,tocommunity,arehappier,they'rephysicallyhealthier,andtheylivelongerthanpeoplewhoarelesswellconnected.Andtheexperienceoflonelinessturnsouttobetoxic.Peoplewhoaremoreisolatedthantheywanttobefromothersfindthattheyarelesshappy,theirhealthdeclinesearlierinmidlife,theirbrainfunctioningdeclinessoonerandtheyliveshorterlivesthanpeoplewhoarenotlonely.Andthesadfactisthatatanygiventime,morethanoneinfiveAmericanswillreportthatthey'relonely.

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　　Andweknowthatyoucanbelonelyinacrowdandyoucanbelonelyinamarriage,sothesecondbiglessonthatwelearnedisthatit'snotjustthenumberoffriendsyouhave,andit'snotwhetherornotyou'reinacommittedrelationship,butit'sthequalityofyourcloserelationshipsthatmatters.Itturnsoutthatlivinginthemidstofconflictisreallybadforourhealth.High-conflictmarriages,forexample,withoutmuchaffection,turnouttobeverybadforourhealth,perhapsworsethangettingdivorced.Andlivinginthemidstofgood,warmrelationshipsisprotective.

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　　Oncewehadfollowedourmenallthewayintotheir80s,wewantedtolookbackatthematmidlifeandtoseeifwecouldpredictwhowasgoingtogrowintoahappy,healthyoctogenarianandwhowasn't.Andwhenwegatheredtogethereverythingweknewaboutthematage50,itwasn'ttheirmiddleagecholesterollevelsthatpredictedhowtheyweregoingtogrowold.Itwashowsatisfiedtheywereintheirrelationships.Thepeoplewhowerethemostsatisfiedintheirrelationshipsatage50werethehealthiestatage80.Andgood,closerelationshipsseemtobufferusfromsomeoftheslingsandarrowsofgettingold.Ourmosthappilypartneredmenandwomenreported,intheir80s,thatonthedayswhentheyhadmorephysicalpain,theirmoodstayedjustashappy.Butthepeoplewhowereinunhappyrelationships,onthedayswhentheyreportedmorephysicalpain,itwasmagnifiedbymoreemotionalpain.

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　　Andthethirdbiglessonthatwelearnedaboutrelationshipsandourhealthisthatgoodrelationshipsdon'tjustprotectourbodies,theyprotectourbrains.Itturnsoutthatbeinginasecurelyattachedrelationshiptoanotherpersoninyour80sisprotective,thatthepeoplewhoareinrelationshipswheretheyreallyfeeltheycancountontheotherpersonintimesofneed,thosepeople'smemoriesstaysharperlonger.Andthepeopleinrelationshipswheretheyfeeltheyreallycan'tcountontheotherone,thosearethepeoplewhoexperienceearliermemorydecline.Andthosegoodrelationships,theydon'thavetobesmoothallthetime.Someofouroctogenariancouplescouldbickerwitheachotherdayinanddayout,butaslongastheyfeltthattheycouldreallycountontheotherwhenthegoinggottough,thoseargumentsdidn'ttakeatollontheirmemories.

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　　Sothismessage,thatgood,closerelationshipsaregoodforourhealthandwell-being,thisiswisdomthat'sasoldasthehills.Whyisthissohardtogetandsoeasytoignore

Well,we'rehuman.Whatwe'dreallylikeisaquickfix,somethingwecangetthat'llmakeourlivesgoodandkeepthemthatway.Relationshipsaremessyandthey'recomplicatedandthehardworkoftendingtofamilyandfriends,it'snotsexyorglamorous.It'salsolifelong.Itneverends.Thepeopleinour75-yearstudywhowerethehappiestinretirementwerethepeoplewhohadactivelyworkedtoreplaceworkmateswithnewplaymates.Justlikethemillennialsinthatrecentsurvey,manyofourmenwhentheywerestartingoutasyoungadultsreallybelievedthatfameandwealthandhighachievementwerewhattheyneededtogoaftertohaveagoodlife.Butoverandover,overthese75years,ourstudyhasshownthatthepeoplewhofaredthebestwerethepeoplewholeanedintorelationships,withfamily,withfriends,withcommunity.

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　　SowhataboutyouLet'ssayyou're25,oryou're40,oryou're60.Whatmightleaningintorelationshipsevenlooklike

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　　Well,thepossibilitiesarepracticallyendless.Itmightbesomethingassimpleasreplacingscreentimewithpeopletimeorliveningupastalerelationshipbydoingsomethingnewtogether,longwalksordatenights,orreachingouttothatfamilymemberwhoyouhaven'tspokentoinyears,becausethoseall-too-commonfamilyfeudstakeaterribletollonthepeoplewhoholdthegrudges.

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　　I'dliketoclosewithaquotefromMarkTwain.Morethanacenturyago,hewaslookingbackonhislife,andhewrotethis:

"Thereisn'ttime,sobriefislife,forbickerings,apologies,heartburnings,callingstoaccount.Thereisonlytimeforloving,andbutaninstant,sotospeak,forthat."

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　　Thegoodlifeisbuiltwithgoodrelation