TED演讲幸福无关财富名望和工作双语Word格式.docx

TED演讲幸福无关财富名望和工作双语Word格式.docx

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　　WhatkeepsushealthyandhappyaswegothroughlifeIfyouweregoingtoinvestnowinyourfuturebestself,wherewouldyouputyourtimeandyourenergyTherewasarecentsurveyofmillennialsaskingthemwhattheirmostimportantlifegoalswere,andover80percentsaidthatamajorlifegoalforthemwastogetrich.Andanother50percentofthosesameyoungadultssaidthatanothermajorlifegoalwastobecomefamous.

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　　（Laughter）

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　　Andwe'

reconstantlytoldtoleanintowork,topushharderandachievemore.We'

regiventheimpressionthatthesearethethingsthatweneedtogoafterinordertohaveagoodlife.Picturesofentirelives,ofthechoicesthatpeoplemakeandhowthosechoicesworkoutforthem,thosepicturesarealmostimpossibletoget.Mostofwhatweknowabouthumanlifeweknowfromaskingpeopletorememberthepast,andasweknow,hindsightisanythingbut20/20.Weforgetvastamountsofwhathappenstousinlife,andsometimesmemoryisdownrightcreative.

　　01:

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　　ButwhatifwecouldwatchentirelivesastheyunfoldthroughtimeWhatifwecouldstudypeoplefromthetimethattheywereteenagersallthewayintooldagetoseewhatreallykeepspeoplehappyandhealthy

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　　Wedidthat.TheHarvardStudyofAdultDevelopmentmaybethelongeststudyofadultlifethat'

severbeendone.For75years,we'

vetrackedthelivesof724men,yearafteryear,askingabouttheirwork,theirhomelives,theirhealth,andofcourseaskingallalongthewaywithoutknowinghowtheirlifestoriesweregoingtoturnout.

　　02:

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　　Studieslikethisareexceedinglyrare.Almostallprojectsofthiskindfallapartwithinadecadebecausetoomanypeopledropoutofthestudy,orfundingfortheresearchdriesup,ortheresearchersgetdistracted,ortheydie,andnobodymovestheballfurtherdownthefield.Butthroughacombinationofluckandthepersistenceofseveralgenerationsofresearchers,thisstudyhassurvived.About60ofouroriginal724menarestillalive,stillparticipatinginthestudy,mostofthemintheir90s.Andwearenowbeginningtostudythemorethan2,000childrenofthesemen.AndI'

mthefourthdirectorofthestudy.

　　03:

14

　　Since1938,we'

vetrackedthelivesoftwogroupsofmen.ThefirstgroupstartedinthestudywhentheyweresophomoresatHarvardCollege.TheyallfinishedcollegeduringWorldWarII,andthenmostwentofftoserveinthewar.Andthesecondgroupthatwe'

vefollowedwasagroupofboysfromBoston'

spoorestneighborhoods,boyswhowerechosenforthestudyspecificallybecausetheywerefromsomeofthemosttroubledanddisadvantagedfamiliesintheBostonofthe1930s.Mostlivedintenements,manywithouthotandcoldrunningwater.

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　　Whentheyenteredthestudy,alloftheseteenagerswereinterviewed.Theyweregivenmedicalexams.Wewenttotheirhomesandweinterviewedtheirparents.Andthentheseteenagersgrewupintoadultswhoenteredallwalksoflife.Theybecamefactoryworkersandlawyersandbricklayersanddoctors,onePresidentoftheUnitedStates.Somedevelopedalcoholism.Afewdevelopedschizophrenia.Someclimbedthesocialladderfromthebottomallthewaytotheverytop,andsomemadethatjourneyintheoppositedirection.

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　　ThefoundersofthisstudywouldneverintheirwildestdreamshaveimaginedthatIwouldbestandingheretoday,75yearslater,tellingyouthatthestudystillcontinues.Everytwoyears,ourpatientanddedicatedresearchstaffcallsupourmenandasksthemifwecansendthemyetonemoresetofquestionsabouttheirlives.

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　　ManyoftheinnercityBostonmenaskus,"

Whydoyoukeepwantingtostudyme

Mylifejustisn'

tthatinteresting."

TheHarvardmenneveraskthatquestion.

　　05:

10

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　　Togettheclearestpictureoftheselives,wedon'

tjustsendthemquestionnaires.Weinterviewthemintheirlivingrooms.Wegettheirmedicalrecordsfromtheirdoctors.Wedrawtheirblood,wescantheirbrains,wetalktotheirchildren.Wevideotapethemtalkingwiththeirwivesabouttheirdeepestconcerns.Andwhen,aboutadecadeago,wefinallyaskedthewivesiftheywouldjoinusasmembersofthestudy,manyofthewomensaid,"

Youknow,it'

sabouttime."

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　　SowhathavewelearnedWhatarethelessonsthatcomefromthetensofthousandsofpagesofinformationthatwe'

vegeneratedontheselivesWell,thelessonsaren'

taboutwealthorfameorworkingharderandharder.Theclearestmessagethatwegetfromthis75-yearstudyisthis:

Goodrelationshipskeepushappierandhealthier.Period.

　　06:

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　　We'

velearnedthreebiglessonsaboutrelationships.Thefirstisthatsocialconnectionsarereallygoodforus,andthatlonelinesskills.Itturnsoutthatpeoplewhoaremoresociallyconnectedtofamily,tofriends,tocommunity,arehappier,they'

rephysicallyhealthier,andtheylivelongerthanpeoplewhoarelesswellconnected.Andtheexperienceoflonelinessturnsouttobetoxic.Peoplewhoaremoreisolatedthantheywanttobefromothersfindthattheyarelesshappy,theirhealthdeclinesearlierinmidlife,theirbrainfunctioningdeclinessoonerandtheyliveshorterlivesthanpeoplewhoarenotlonely.Andthesadfactisthatatanygiventime,morethanoneinfiveAmericanswillreportthatthey'

relonely.

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　　Andweknowthatyoucanbelonelyinacrowdandyoucanbelonelyinamarriage,sothesecondbiglessonthatwelearnedisthatit'

snotjustthenumberoffriendsyouhave,andit'

snotwhetherornotyou'

reinacommittedrelationship,butit'

sthequalityofyourcloserelationshipsthatmatters.Itturnsoutthatlivinginthemidstofconflictisreallybadforourhealth.High-conflictmarriages,forexample,withoutmuchaffection,turnouttobeverybadforourhealth,perhapsworsethangettingdivorced.Andlivinginthemidstofgood,warmrelationshipsisprotective.

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　　Oncewehadfollowedourmenallthewayintotheir80s,wewantedtolookbackatthematmidlifeandtoseeifwecouldpredictwhowasgoingtogrowintoahappy,healthyoctogenarianandwhowasn'

t.Andwhenwegatheredtogethereverythingweknewaboutthematage50,itwasn'

ttheirmiddleagecholesterollevelsthatpredictedhowtheyweregoingtogrowold.Itwashowsatisfiedtheywereintheirrelationships.Thepeoplewhowerethemostsatisfiedintheirrelationshipsatage50werethehealthiestatage80.Andgood,closerelationshipsseemtobufferusfromsomeoftheslingsandarrowsofgettingold.Ourmosthappilypartneredmenandwomenreported,intheir80s,thatonthedayswhentheyhadmorephysicalpain,theirmoodstayedjustashappy.Butthepeoplewhowereinunhappyrelationships,onthedayswhentheyreportedmorephysicalpain,itwasmagnifiedbymoreemotionalpain.

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03

　　Andthethirdbiglessonthatwelearnedaboutrelationshipsandourhealthisthatgoodrelationshipsdon'

tjustprotectourbodies,theyprotectourbrains.Itturnsoutthatbeinginasecurelyattachedrelationshiptoanotherpersoninyour80sisprotective,thatthepeoplewhoareinrelationshipswheretheyreallyfeeltheycancountontheotherpersonintimesofneed,thosepeople'

smemoriesstaysharperlonger.Andthepeopleinrelationshipswheretheyfeeltheyreallycan'

tcountontheotherone,thosearethepeoplewhoexperienceearliermemorydecline.Andthosegoodrelationships,theydon'

thavetobesmoothallthetime.Someofouroctogenariancouplescouldbickerwitheachotherdayinanddayout,butaslongastheyfeltthattheycouldreallycountontheotherwhenthegoinggottough,thoseargumentsdidn'

ttakeatollontheirmemories.

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　　Sothismessage,thatgood,closerelationshipsaregoodforourhealthandwell-being,thisiswisdomthat'

sasoldasthehills.Whyisthissohardtogetandsoeasytoignore

Well,we'

rehuman.Whatwe'

dreallylikeisaquickfix,somethingwecangetthat'

llmakeourlivesgoodandkeepthemthatway.Relationshipsaremessyandthey'

recomplicatedandthehardworkoftendingtofamilyandfriends,it'

snotsexyorglamorous.It'

salsolifelong.Itneverends.Thepeopleinour75-yearstudywhowerethehappiestinretirementwerethepeoplewhohadactivelyworkedtoreplaceworkmateswithnewplaymates.Justlikethemillennialsinthatrecentsurvey,manyofourmenwhentheywerestartingoutasyoungadultsreallybelievedthatfameandwealthandhighachievementwerewhattheyneededtogoaftertohaveagoodlife.Butoverandover,overthese75years,ourstudyhasshownthatthepeoplewhofaredthebestwerethepeoplewholeanedintorelationships,withfamily,withfriends,withcommunity.

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　　SowhataboutyouLet'

ssayyou'

re25,oryou'

re40,oryou'

re60.Whatmightleaningintorelationshipsevenlooklike

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　　Well,thepossibilitiesarepracticallyendless.Itmightbesomethingassimpleasreplacingscreentimewithpeopletimeorliveningupastalerelationshipbydoingsomethingnewtogether,longwalksordatenights,orreachingouttothatfamilymemberwhoyouhaven'

tspokentoinyears,becausethoseall-too-commonfamilyfeudstakeaterribletollonthepeoplewhoholdthegrudges.

　　12:

　　I'

dliketoclosewithaquotefromMarkTwain.Morethanacenturyago,hewaslookingbackonhislife,andhewrotethis:

"

Thereisn'

ttime,sobriefislife,forbickerings,apologies,heartburnings,callingstoaccount.Thereisonlytimeforloving,andbutaninstant,sotospeak,forthat."

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　　Thegoodlifeisbuiltwithgoodrelation