巴比伦饭店第一季第一集.docx

巴比伦饭店第一季第一集.docx

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巴比伦饭店第一季第一集

MAN:

Maybeyou'reonholiday.

Maybeyou'reonabusinesstrip.

Maybeyoumissedthelasttrainorthelastflight.

Thanks.

Maybeyou'regettingmarried.

Maybeyouhadarowwithyourwifeorhusbandandtheykickedyouout.

Chancesareyoumightendupsomewherelikethis.

Justsignthere.

£863?

Fortwonights?

Sir,thebillisfullyitemised.

Roomcharge,restaurant,bar,telephone,drycleaning.

Howcanyoujustifychargingtheseprices?

Thisisextortion.

Okay,it'sgonnacostyouanarmandaleg,

andifthisisyourfirstvisit,itmaycomeasabitofashock,

butwhatareyougonnagetforyourmoney?

Thebestview.Thebestservice.

Thefinestingredients.

Theutmostdiscretion.

Butthat'snotthewholepicture.Whatyou'rereallypayingforistheopportunity

toliveoutyourwildest,darkest,craziestfantasies.

Tobe,formaybejustanightortwo,thepersonyoureallywanttobe.

I'mnotpayingit.

MrAustin,gladIcaughtyou.MrsAustinleftsomepersonalitemsintheroom.

Perhapsonyournextvisit,MrsAustincanenjoysomecomplimentarysessions

inourhealthandbeautyspa.

Whateverorwhoeveryouwanttobe...

Thankyou.

...we'lllookafteryou.

WhatwouldyousayyourresponsibilitieswouldbeifIgaveyouthejob?

I'dsaymynumberoneresponsibilityasdeputymanagerwouldbetotheguests,

toensuretheyhaveanenjoyableandrelaxingstay.

Myjobistoservethem,nomatterhowabsurd,bizarreorperversetheirrequirementsmaybe.

（PAGERBEEPING）

Oh,God.Sorry.Doyoumind?

IthinkIhaveallthenecessaryskills.

I'morganised,ambitious,

andIjustthinkthejobwillbemorepersonallyrewardingthanworkingonreception.

Yousaid"think"twice.Isthatabadthing?

Tryusing"believe",asin,Ibelieveyouraccountisoverdue,MrsAkiko.

Putsamorepositivespinonthings.

Letmesee.Didwefindthefinger?

Okay,gethimtoahospital.

（PAGERBEEPING）

Youhavealltheattributesofagoodreceptionist.You'repolite,handsome,flirtatious

andyetstrangelyasexual.Thankyou.

SowhywouldIwanttolosemybestreceptionistandgainaninexperienceddeputymanager?

Comeon,out!

Thehonestybarisforguests,notforthehomeless.

Everybloodymorninghe'shere.MaybeIputsomeicedownhisback,eh?

I'llhandlethis.Thankyou,Gino.

Darling,it'sgone9:

00.Timetogotowork.

Dinnerwillbeonthetablewhenyougethome.

Comeon,out.

Imagineyourworstday,adaywheneverythinggoeswrong

andeveryoneblamesyou.Thenmultiplythatby10.

Thatisanaveragedayinthelifeofahotelmanager.

Doesn'tputmeoff.Iwanttoprogress.

OnedayIwantyourjob.Inanotherfivestarhotel,obviously.

Don'ttellme,it'salwaysbeenyourboyhooddream.

Well,no,whatkidgrowsupdreamingaboutrunningahotel?

Idid.What'sinthebox,Tony?

MrKendal,302,requestedfemalecompany.

Iofferedhimafemaleescort.Heaskedforsomethingalittlebitdifferent.

Ifyou'llexcuseme,Ihavetogoandsourceafootpump.

Anyquestions?

Justone.Ifajobinmanagementisasbadasyousayitis,thenwhydoyoudoit?

Ineversaidthejobwasbad.Isaiditwaslonghoursandhardwork.

Therearealsoalotofperks.Like?

Like,ifyouevergetthejob,you'lldiscoverforyourself.

Mylastthreedeputiesallquitwithinsixmonths.

Noneofthemweretoughenoughtostanduptome.Areyou?

I...Ibelieveso.

Goodinterview,Charlie.I'llbemakingmydecisionaftertheweekend.

TheSaudigentleman,Sheik...?

SheikAhmedBinMarmet.

He'sbeenwaitingaroundallmorning,wantedtothankyoupersonallyforyournderstanding.

Thequestionyou'vegottoaskyourselfis,

isthejobreallyworthallthearsekissingthatgoeswithit?

It'sthebestjobintheworld.Itis.

Yougetrich,beautifulguestsmakingpassesatyou.

You'resurroundedbythebestofeverything,andontopofthat,thetipsaregreat.

Yeah,thetipsaregood.Andforamanager,they'reexcellent.

Mr...MrGeffen.TexasGeffen.

Camehereacoupleofweeksago.

HelentRebeccathekeystohisvillainBarbadosasathankyou.

Well,ifshewantssomeonetocarryherbags...

TherealreasonwhyIwantthisjobsobadly,

oneday,Iwanttobeabletocomeintoaplacelikethis,asaguest,

rentthebiggestsuite,orderanythingdayinanddayout,

andmoneyjustnotbeanobject.

Nevergonnahappen.Exactly.

Sosurely,thenextbestthingisbeinginchargeofaplacelikethis,

andifIhavetokissalittlebitofarse,then...I'llhappilypuckerup.

Doyouthinkshe'llgiveyouthejob?

Noidea.

Don'tsupposeit'llimproveyourchances

ifyou'rethreeminuteslateforhermorningmeeting?

Oh,shit.Youcoming?

No,I'mnottheonelookingforapromotion,sunshine.

Puckerup.

SorryI'mlate,Rebecca.Don'tmakeahabitofit,Charlie.

Anythingjuicyinlastnight'slog?

Relativelyquietnight

untilMrsSalcombeinroom706openedherminibaranddiscoveredthis.

Achocolatebar.

Openitandsee.Youcanimagineherdisappointment.

GoodGod,thismusthavetakensomeonehours.

SorryI'mlate,Rebecca.Don'tworryaboutit,Tony.

Howmuchdowechargeforthisbar?

£1.

Arrangeforacomplimentarybasketofchocolates

tobesentuptoMrsSalcombewithourapologies.

Thenfindoutwhooccupiedroom706beforeher.

Arewesurethiswasnotdonebyachambermaid?

Theyeatallbloodyday.Mygirlsdon'tsteal.

Whyisaguestperfectlyhappyshellingout£200anightforaroom,

buttheywon'tpayforabarofchocolate?

Well,theirexpensesdon'tcovertheminibar.Theycan'tclaimitback.

Oh,please.Okay,listenup.

ThedutymanagerattheBurlingtonhasbeenonthephone,wantstoknow

ifwecanaccommodatetheJunkDogs.Thewhat?

They'renotawhat,they'reawho.TheJunkDogsareanAmericanrockoutfit,

threenightsintoafivenightgigatWembleyArena.

Whatdoweknowaboutthem?

Bassplayerisaconvictedarsonist,

burntdowntheAristotleinDenveracoupleofyearsago.

Heavydrinkers?

Rockandrollers,Gino.

They'llclearyourbaroutinabouttwohours.JACKIE:

Soundliketrouble.

I'mexpectinga1796Napoleoncognacintoday.Icansellitfor£600ashot.

Markitupas750.I'llgetbacktotheBurlington,tellthemwe'dbedelightedtowelcomethe...

JunkDogs.TheJunkDogs.Rockandroll,everybody!

Excuseme,Rebecca.It'sonlyasmallpoint,

butwe'realreadybooked120%.Wecurrentlydon'thaveanyroomforthem.

I'msurewecansqueezetheminsomewhere,can'twe,Charlie?

CHARLIE:

Rockstarslovehotels,andwelovehavingthemtostay.

Partiesinthesuite,roundtheclockroomservice,

champagneJacuzzis,groupiesbythebusload.

Therich,thefamousandthenotorious,theyareourlifeline,

andwenever,everturnthemaway.

Apologiesfortheinconvenience,ladiesandgentlemen,

butduetoanelectricalfault,wehavetoclearthefloor.

Wedo,ofcourse,onlyhaveyoursafetyandcomfortinmind.

Receptionwillbehappytogiveyounewroomsoralternativeaccommodationatanearbyhotel.

Howarewedoing?

Justclearingthefloornow.

FindJackie.Gethousekeepingtosweepthrough.

Whydotheyneedtheentirefloortothemselves?

Securityreasons.Allcelebritiesarecowards.

Oh,Charlie,I'llbegivingyourpageandmobilenumberstotheband.

Anythingtheywant,anytimeofday,theycancallyou.

Me?

Youwanttoprogresstomanagement,

here'sanopportunitytoproveyourself.Youcancountonme,Rebecca.

Builduparapportwiththem.Makethemfeelcomfortable,relaxedandspecial.

Getthemintothebarassoonastheyarrive?

Exactly.

Oh,Idohopetheyrefrainfromurinating.Ihateitwhenguestsurinateonourproperty.

（CLEARINGTHROAT）

Oh.Hi.

We'rejustemptyingthe7thfloor.Yougotanychambermaidsfree?

I'llseewhatIcando.

Wasthereanythingelseyouwantedfromme?

We'vegotaproblemwith706.

Right.

MAN:

Oh,yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

（KNOCKINGONDOOR）

Igotreceptiontophonetheroom,buttherewasnoanswer.

（WOMANMOANING）

MAN:

Waitaminute.Wait,wait,wait,wait.

Can'twejustletourselvesin?

Thatisthebiggestnonoofthejob.

Younever,underanycircumstances,letyourselfintoanoccupiedroom.

Right.Guest'sprivacy.Actually,no,it'sforyourownsafety.

Sohowarewegonnagetthemout?

Morning,men.CanIinterestyouinalovelypieceoffinecheese?

（MANANDWOMANMOANING）

Thisneverhappened.

Yeah!

Sohowlongdowewait?

（WOMANSCREAMING）MAN:

Whatthe...

（BANGING）

Thatdidn'tsoundverygood.

Thisisathoroughlyregrettableincident,

andwewill,ofcourse,takecareofyourexpensesattheChesterton,

andpleaseallowustoprovideyouwithalimousineservicetotheairporttomorrow.

Beginyourhoneymooninstylewithourcompliments.

Apologiesforthedisruption,madam,

butwehavefoundyouaccommodationatanotherhotelinthearea.

I'mjustpreparingyourfinalbillnow.Preparingthebillforyounow.

（SIGHING）

Charlie,canItakeabreaksoon?

We'rekindofbusy.

Iknow,butIwanttofreshenupbeforethebandgethere.

Ben,theseareharddrinkingAmericanrockstars.They'renotgonnafallinlovewithyou.

Sometimesyoucanbesocruel.

It'sfortonight,ifthat'snottoomuchofanimposition.

I'lllookintothatforyou,sir,ofcourse.

HaveyounoticedanythingoddaboutRebeccatoday?

No.It'sFriday,

andshe'swearingtheblackArmanitwopiece.So?

TheblackArmanitwopieceshewearsonThursdays.

It'sthesamesuitthatsheworeyesterday.

Ithoughtyouhadtobegaytonoticethingslikethat.

No,observationis90%oftheconcierge'sjob.

WhenawomanlikeRebeccawearsthesameclothestwodaysrunning,

somethingisn'tright.

Iwantareceipt.

Thankyou.