How to Stay Mentally Healthy.docx

How to Stay Mentally Healthy.docx

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HowtoStayMentallyHealthy

HowtoStayMentallyHealthy

Iamyettoseesomeonewhosays“Inevergetfrustrated”.Weashumansalwaysexperiencefrustrationinourdailylives.Howeversometimesweletthisfrustrationtakeoverthathampersouractivitiesandactions.Weneedtocontrolandhandlethefrustration.

Whatisfrustration?

Frustrationistheactofreactingtoaneventwhichisnotdesirable.IwouldlikeyoutospendsometimeonwhatIhavementionedFrustrationis.ItisREACTIONthatcausesthefrustration.Themomentaneventoccursyoudonotponderonthat,youdonothavetimetothinkonthatanddecidehowtohandlethesituation.Theimmediateactionisimpulsiveandyoureactimmediately.Thereisanotherwayyoucanhandlethesameevent.Insteadofreacting,youcouldRESPONDtothesameevent.ThemomentyouRESPONDtotheeventratherthanreactingyounevergetfrustrated.Remembertheeventhasalreadyoccurredwhichmeansthatyoucannotdoanythingabouttheeventnow.AndyouhaveaChoicetorespondthewayyouwantto.

How----Ifyoustartlookingateventsaseventsthatcannotbeavoidedandhasalreadyoccurredthenyouponderforsolutionsratherthandisturbingyourselfbyreacting.Thisistheeasiestwaytochangethefeelingoffrustration.Tostartfocusingonsolutionsratherthanthesocalled“PROBLEM”,thatdisturbsyou.Ifyouweretocurseyourself,blameyourselfandscreamatyourselfyouonlyendupfeelingworse.Thisisselfsabotage.Interestinglyyoucanconsciouslygetangryandgetangryandfrustratedbyreactingtoanevent.Youtendtoloosemoreenergywithinyouwhenyougetfrustratedandthe“PROBLEM”thoughdoesnotevenexist,seemstobeexistingandneverissolved.

Asyoulookateventandtellyourself“Thiseventhasalreadyhappenedandisinevitable”,youwouldonlyrespondandnotreact.Momentsbeforetheoutburstofemotionsandfrustrationthereisaprocessthatisinvolved.Yourunpictureoftheeventinyourmindthatleadstoanintensivehelplessstateandfiresasfrustration.Itisbettertocontroltheemotionasthatwilldoalotofgoodbecauseyourreactionoffrustrationcouldbesointensethatitcanonlyintensifymore.ThoughsomedosuggestthatgivingventtothesefeelingsisgoodandacceptableIdonotauthenticatethistheoryastheramificationsareveryhigh.

3mostimportantpointsthatyoumusthaveinmindtomanagefrustration–1）Acceptthefactthatgettingfrustratedisacommonhumanact.2）Learnfromthefrustrationandmoveforwardinsteadofgettingworkedonit3）Startcreatinganewbeliefforyourselfthatthereareotherbetterwaysofhandlingsituationsthatyouareawareof

Youaresomuchinvolvedandtotallyassociatewiththeeventthatfrustrationcropsupandthenitjustrunsthroughyou.Yesitisveryimportantforyoutobeassociated,tobeinthethickofthingsforachievingyouroutcomes.Butwhenyoudonotgetthedesiredresultsyoumustdothedevilsadvocate.Youneedtostepoutofyourselfandlookatthingsfroma3rd personsview,whichmeansthatyouaredisassociatingyourselfandyouwouldtendtolookatsolutionsratherthanfeelfrustratedandhavethefeelingofletdown.

Isometimesadvocatefrustrationandacertainamountoffrustrationisalwaysgoodbecauseitmeansthatyouareexpectingbetterresultsfromyourself.Youwantmoreforyourselfandhencegetfrustrated.YouareaChampandyouknowthatyoucanworkoutthingsbetterandthenyougetfrustrated,whichisanadvantageforyou.Thequestionsyouaskyourselfcanintensifyorde-intensifyyourleveloffrustration.Recallthelasttimeyouwerefrustratedandlookatallthequestionsyouaskedyourself.Iamsureitwouldbequestionslike“Whythehelldidthishappentome”,“Thisissopatheticandlifeofsounfair”andsoon…,Haveyoueverasked“WhatmustIdotocomeoutofthis?

”

Dothissmallexercise,recallaneventthathasbeentroublingyouandforwhichyougetfrustratedbecauseyoudonotgetthedesiredoutcomes.Askyourself“whythehellisthishappening?

”andexperiencehowyoufeel.Isn’titfrustrating?

Iamsureitis.Nowchangethesamequestionto“whatmustIdotoovercomethischallenge”.Nowhowdoyoufeel?

Youfeelmoreincontrolofyouremotions,yourthoughts?

YouhavetheChoiceandfrustrationsarenotexternaltheyareinternalinnatureandyouknowtheconsequencesoffrustrationaresohigh.Sothechoiceofnotbeingfrustratedwillleadyoutobetteroutcomesinlife.Enjoyeverybitoflife.Allthathappenshasapurposeandhasapositiveintention.Lookatthehighestpositiveintentionbehindtheeventandwhyhastheeventoccurredeventhoughitwasnotfavorableandnegative.Youcanfocusonthepositiveintentions,onthepositivepurposewhichwillleadyoutoamorepeacefulandcomfortablelife.

"Ifeelsofrustrated!

"Asahumanbeing,chancesareyou'vesaidthismanytimes,eitheroutloudorinyourmind.Thegreatthingaboutacceptingyou'refrustratedisthatyou'veidentifiedandacknowledgedwhat'sgoingon.It'stooeasytocarryonstrugglingwithsomethingandbeingunawarethatit'scausingyoufrustration.Onceyou'verealisedthatyou'refrustrated,you'refreetomakechoicesabouthowyouhandleit.Thewayyouhandleyourfrustrationsisakeytosuccessfullymovingon.

Oneofthefirstchoicesyouneedtomakeistoshiftawayfrombeingavictimandfromsaying"Whyme?

"or"Whydidthishavetohappen?

"Beingavictimwastesyourtimeandenergyandoftenleavesyoufeelingevenmorefrustrated.Instead,maketheshifttotappingintoyourownresourcefulnessanddiscoversolutions.Partofthereasonweoftenstaystuckandfrustratedisthatwedon'tbelievewecandosomethingaboutit.Youaremoreresourcefulthanyouthink.

Thefirststepistoidentifyspecificallywhatyou'refeelingfrustratedabout.Itmayseemobviousbutoftenwhenwefeelfrustration,westarttopileotherunrelatedthingsontopofitandthiscloudstheissue.Specificallynamingyourfrustrationishalfthebattle.

Onceyou'veidentifiedthisspecifically,thenbeanobserverofyourself.Thisisn'tanopportunitytobeatyourselfup.It'sanopportunitytoobservewhat'sgoingonwithoutjudgement,leavingyouabletomakeeffectivechoices.Asanobserver,you'lloftenseeadifferentperspective.Asyou'reobservingyourself,seewhatyoumostneed,what'strulyimportanttoyouandwhatitwilltaketomoveforwardquickly.Observethechatterthat'sgoingoninyourmind.Isyourmindchatterkeepingyoustuck?

Whatisworthlisteningto?

Oneofthebestwaystobeanobserverandtoseethesituationmoreclearlyistotakeabreak.Onceyou'vesteppedbackfromthefrustration,you'llfinditeasiertotapintoyourcreativenessandcomeupwithideasandsolutions.Tapintothecreativeandresourcefulpartofyourselfbyaskingempoweringquestions.Empoweringquestionssuchas"Whatisimportanttomeaboutthis?

","Whatistheintendedresult?

","Whatchoicesareavailabletome?

",or"WhatisthenextactionIneedtotake?

"Whenyou'reaskingthesequestions,listencarefullyforyourownresponse.Thisiswhereyourownpersonalresourcefulnesswillshowupandgiveyoutheanswersandsolutionstoenableyoutomoveforward.You'llquicklymovebeyondthefrustrationandgetbacktoachievingwhatyouwant.

Whenfrustrationshaveoccurred,it'swellworthgettingtothesourcesothatyoucanhandleitonceandforall.Whatoftenleavesusfrustratediswhenthesameproblemscomeuptimeandtimeagain.Gettothesourceofyourfrustrationandfromthat,learnwhatneedstochangeorneedstobedonedifferentlyinthefuture.Frustrationscanalsopresentanopportunity,althoughitmaynotfeellikeitatthetime.They'reanopportunityforgrowthandimprovement.Nexttimeyoufeelfrustrated,Iinviteyoutoseeitasanopportunity.

It'seasyforpeopletogetupsetinthisfast-pacedworld,orgetallflusteredinthevirtualworldofsocialonlinenetworks,twitter,orinstante-mailcommunication.Folkssaythingstheydon'tmean,andtheyhitthesendbutton,buttherealityisyoumustdealwithitandsocietyischangingfast.Youmustnotletyourangergetthebestofyou,andyou'llneedtolearnhowtohandleyourfrustration.

Overtheyears,whatI'velearnedisthatsometimesyouneedtostepbackandunderstand,andthrowalittlepsychology,orphilosophyontopofthesituationandlookatit,asifitwassprinkledonthetable.Inotherwords,youremoveyourselffromthesituationandanalyzeit.Trytounderstandallthepersonalitiesinvolved,allthemotivations,andhowtheprogressionofeventsledyouandallthepartiesinvolvedtothiscurrentsetofcircumstancesandevents.

ThisisthebestwaythatI'vefoundtohandlefrustration,ortodealwithanysortofthoughtsofhostility;indeed,Ithinkwecallthisangermanagementforlackofabetterterm.Buttherealityisitworks,it'sscaryeasy,andittimethatyouburythehatchetbetweenyouandwhoeverelseiscausingthecommotion.

Youmustunderstandthatitishumannaturetocreatechaosandcontroversy,perhapsoutofboredom,orperhaps,duetosomethingwhichtriggeredchemicalsinthebrainoftheotherparty.Youmustrealizetheyareonlyhuman.

WhatIneedyoutodoisactlikesomeonewhois"humanplus"thatistosay,someonewhoisaboveitall,andabovethefray.Whensomeonegetsangryatyou;youmustchoosenottoplay,thenanalyzethesituationandactuponitonanotherday.

Pleaseconsiderthis.

LanceWinslowisaretiredFounderofaNationwideFranchiseChain,andnowrunstheOnlineThinkTank.LanceWinslowbelievesyoushouldbeanicepersonforasl