《老友记》中英文对照剧本精编版第一季第20集.docx
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《老友记》中英文对照剧本精编版第一季第20集
《老友记》中英文对照剧本精编版
第一季第20集
120TheOneWiththeEvilOrthodontist
120TheOneWiththeEvilOrthodontist
[Scene:
MonicaandRachel's,everyoneisthere.]
Chandler:
Ican'tbelieveyouwouldactuallysaythat.IwouldmuchratherbeMr.PeanutthanMr.Salty.
Joey:
Noway!
Mr.Saltyisasailor,allright,he'sgottobe,like,thetoughestsnackthereis.
Ross:
Idon'tknow,youdon'twannamesswithcornnuts.They'recraaazy.
Monica:
（lookingoutofthewindow）OhmyGod.Youguys!
Yougottacomeseethis!
There'ssomecreepouttherewithatelescope!
Ross:
Ican'tbelieveit!
He'slookingrightatus!
Rachel:
Oh,thatissosick.
Chandler:
Ifeelviolated.Andnotinagoodway.
Phoebe:
Howcanpeopledothat?
...（AllbutPhoebewalkawayfromthewindowindisgust.）Oh,youguys,look!
UglyNakedGuygotgravityboots!
OpeningCredits
[Scene:
CentralPerk,everyonebutRachelisthere.]
Chandler:
Iamtellingyou,yearsfromnow,schoolchildrenwillstudyitasoneofthegreatestfirstdatesofalltime.Itwasunbelievable!
Wecouldtotallybeourselves,wedidn'thavetoplayanygames...
Monica:
Sohaveyoucalledheryet?
Chandler:
LetherknowIlikeher?
Whatareyou,insane?
（Thegirlsmakedisgustednoises.）It'sthenextday!
HowneedydoIwanttoseem?
（Totheguys）I'mright,right?
JoeyandRoss:
Oh,yeah.Yeah.Letherdangle.
Monica:
Ican'tbelievemyparentsareactuallypressuringmetofindoneofyoupeople.
Phoebe:
Oh,God,justdoit!
（Grabbingthephone.）Callher!
Stopbeingsotestosteroney!
Chandler:
Which,bytheway,istherealSanFranciscotreat.（Callsher,thenhurriedlyhangsup.）Igothermachine.
Joey:
Heranswermachine?
Chandler:
No,interestinglyenoughherleafblowerpickedup.
Phoebe:
So,uh,whydidn'tyousayanything?
Chandler:
Oh,no-no-no-no.LasttimeIleftaspontaneousmessageIendedupusingthephrase"Yesindeedy-o."
Monica:
Looklook!
It'sRachelandBarry.No,don'teverybodylookatonce!
Ross:
Okay,okay,what'sgoingon?
Phoebe:
Okay,they'rejusttalking...
Ross:
Yeah,well,doeshelookupset?
Doeshelooklikehewasjusttoldtoshoveanything?
Phoebe:
No,noactually,he'ssmiling..and...OhmyGod,don'tdothat!
!
Ross:
What?
What?
What?
!
Phoebe:
Thatmanacrossthestreetjustkickedthatpigeon!
（Rachelenters.）Oh!
Chandler:
（bluffing）Andbasically,that'showabillbecomesalaw.
All:
Oh!
...Right!
Chandler:
HeyRach!
Monica:
How'ditgo?
Rachel:
Y'know,itwas,uh..itwasactuallyreallygreat.HetookmetolunchattheRussianTeaRoom,andIhadthatchicken,wherey'knowyoupokeitandallthebuttersquirtsout...
Phoebe:
Notagooddayforbirds...
Rachel:
ThenwetookawalkdowntoBendall's,andItoldhimnotto,buthegotmealittlebottleofChanel...
Ross:
That'snice...now,wasthatbeforeorafteryoutoldhimtostopcalling,stopsendingyouflowersandtogenerallyleaveyoualone,hmm?
Rachel:
Right,..well,..weneveractuallygottothat...Oh,itwasjustsonicetoseehimagain,y'know?
Itwascomfortable,itwasfamiliar...itwasjustnice!
Ross:
That's,that'snicetwice!
Monica:
Rachel,what'sgoingon?
Imeanisn'tthisthesameBarrywhoyouleftatthealtar?
Joey:
Duh,where'veyoubeen?
Rachel:
Yeah,butitwasdifferentwithhimtoday!
Andhewasn't,like,OrthodontistGuy,y'know?
Imean,wehadfun!
Isthereanythingwrongwiththat?
（Ross'prompts'Chandlerbyhittinghimonthearm.）
Chandler:
Yes!
Rachel:
Why?
Chandler:
Ihavemyreasons.
Monica:
Okay,howaboutthefactthathe'sengagedtoanotherwoman,whojusthappenstobeyourex-bestfriend?
Rachel:
Allright.Allright,allright,allright,allright,Iknowit'sstupid!
Iwillgoseehimthisafternoon,andIwilljustputanendtoit!
[Scene:
Barry'sOffice,thepost-coitalBarryandRachelarerecoveringonthechair.]
Rachel:
Wow...Wow!
Barry:
Yeah.
Rachel:
I'mnotcrazy,right?
Imean,itwasneverlikethat.
Barry:
Nooo,itwasn't.
Rachel:
Ooh,andit'ssonicehavingthislittlesinkhere...
[Scene:
MonicaandRachel's,everyoneisthereexceptRachel.]
Chandler:
（onphone,readingfromascript）Oh,Danielle!
Iwasn'texpectingthemachine...Givemeacallwhenyougetachance.（Rattlessomedishes）Bye-bye.（Hangsup.）OhGod!
Monica:
That'swhatyou'vebeenworkingonforthepasttwohours?
!
Chandler:
Hey,I'vebeenhoning!
Ross:
Whatwaswiththedishes?
Chandler:
Oh,uh..IwanthertothinkImightbeinarestaurant..y'know?
Imighthavesomekindoflife,likeIhaven'tbeensittingaroundherehoningforthepastfewhours.
Monica:
（lookingoutthewindow）Looklook!
He'sdoingitagain,theguywiththetelescope!
Phoebe:
OhmyGod!
（Walkstothewindow）Goaway!
（Gesturing.）Stoplookinginhere!
Monica:
Great,nowhe'swavingback.
Joey:
Man,wegottadosomethingaboutthatguy.Thismorning,Icaughthimlookingintoourapartment.Itcreepsmeout!
IfeellikeIcan'tdostuff!
Monica:
Whatkindastuff?
Joey:
Willyougrowup?
I'mnottalkingaboutsexystuff,but,like,whenI'mcookingnaked.
Phoebe:
Youcooknaked?
Joey:
Yeah,toast,oatmeal...nothingthatspatters.
（ApauseastheylookatChandler.）
Chandler:
Whatareyoulookingatmefor?
Ididn'tknowthat.
[Scene:
Barry'sOffice,RachelandBarryaregettingmarried.]
Barry:
What'sthematter?
Rachel:
Oh,it'sjust...Oh,Barry,thiswasnotgood.
Barry:
No,itwas.Itwasveryverygood.
Rachel:
Well,whataboutMindy?
Barry:
Oh,way,waybetterthanMindy.
Rachel:
No,notthat,Imean,whataboutyouandMindy?
Barry:
Well,ifyouwant,I'lljust—I'lljustbreakitoffwithher.
Rachel:
No.No-no-no-no,no.Imean,don'tdothat.Not,Imeannotforme.
Bernice:
（overintercom）Dr.Farber,BobbyRushishereforhisadjustment.
Barry:
（intointercom）Thanks,Bernice.（ToRachel）Let'sgoawaythisweekend.
Rachel:
Oh,Barry..!
Comeon,thisisallwaytoo..
Barry:
Wecan,wecangotoAruba!
WhenIwentthereonwhatwouldhavebeenourhoneymoon,itwas,uh...itwasreallynice.Youwould'velikedit.
（PauseasRachelrealises...）
Rachel:
Ihadabra.
（BarryfindsitdrapedonacupboardandgivesittoRachel,theykissasBobbyenters.）
Bobby:
Hey,Dr.Farber.
（RachelandBarryquicklysplitandpretendBarryisexaminingRachel'smouth.）
Barry:
AllrightMissGreen,everythinglooksfine...Yep,Ithinkwe'restartingtoseesomerealprogresshere.
（Bobbylookson,deadpan.）
Rachel:
What?
!
Bobby:
I'mtwelve,I'mnotstupid.
（Rachelglaresathim.）
[Scene:
MonicaandRachel's,Chandlerentersclutchinghisphone.]
Chandler:
CanIuseyourphone?
Monica:
Yeah..uh,butforfuturereference,thatthinginyourhandcanalsobeusedasaphone.
（Chandlerdialshisownphoneanditrings.）
Chandler:
Yes,it'sworking!
Whyisn'tshecallingmeback?
Joey:
Maybeshenevergotyourmessage.
Phoebe:
Y'know,ifyouwant,youcancallhermachine,andifshehasalotofbeeps,thatmeanssheprobablydidn'tgethermessagesyet.
Chandler:
Y'don'tthinkthatmakesmeseemalittle...
Ross:
...desperate,needy,pathetic?
Chandler:
Ah,youobviouslysawmypersonalad.
（Hecallsandquicklyhangsup.）
Phoebe:
Howmanybeeps?
Chandler:
Sheanswered.
Monica:
Y'see,thisiswhereyou'dusethat'hello'wordwetalkedabout.
Chandler:
I'mnotgonnatalktoher,sheobviouslygotmymessageandischoosingnottocallme.NowI'mneedyandsnubbed.God,Imissjustbeingneedy.
（Rachelenters.）
All:
Hey!
Hi!
Phoebe:
How'dhetakeit?
Rachel:
Prettywell,actually...（Wanderingintothekitchen.）
Monica:
（wanderinginafterher）Uh,Rach...howcomeyouhavedentalflossinyourhair?
Rachel:
Oh,doI?
Monica:
Uhhuh.
Rachel:
（inalowvoice）Weendeduphavingsexinhischair.
Monica:
Youhadsexinhischair?
!
...Isaidthatalittletooloudly,didn'tI?
Ross:
You-youhadwhat?
Phoebe:
Sexinhischair.
Ross:
What,uh...whatwereyouthinking?
Rachel:
Idon'tknow!
Imean,westillcareabouteachother.There'sahistorythere.'S'likeyouandCarol.
Ross:
No!
Nono,itisnothinglikemeandCarol!
Rachel:
Please.Ifshesaidtoyou,"Ross,Iwantyouonthiscouch,righthere,rightnow,"whatwouldyousay?
（Rossflounders.）
Chandler:
Ifithelps,Icouldslideover.
Ross:
It's,it's,it's,uh,atotallydiferentsituation!
It's,it'sapplesandoranges,it's,it'sorthodontistsandlesbi-Igottago.
Phoebe:
Whereareyougoing?
Ross:
（leaving）Ijusthavetogo,allright?
DoIneedareason?
Huh?
ImeanIhavethingstodowithmylife,Ihaveajampackedschedule,andIamlate-forkeepingupwithit.Okay?
（Rossexits,aphonerings,andChandlerdivesforhisphone.）
Chandler:
Hello?
Hello?
（Rachelpicksuptheirphoneandtheringingstops. Asshetalksonthephone,anelaboratevisualgagisspunoutwhichistoodifficulttodescribeinwords.）
Rachel:
（onphone）Hello?
（Listens）Mindy!
Hi!
Hey,howareyou?
（Listens）Yes,yes,I'veheard,congratulations,thatissogreat.（Listens）Really?
（Listens）Oh.（Listens）Okay.Okay,wellI'mworkingtomorrow,butifyouwantyoucan,youcan,youcancomebyand...（Listens）Okay...（Listens）Great...（Listens）Great...（Listens）Allright,soI'll,soI'llseeyoutomorrow!
（Listens）Okay..（Listens）Okay...（Listens）Bye.（Hangsupandsitsdownheavily.）OhGod.OhGod.OhGod.
Chandler:
Sohow'sMindy?
Rachel:
Oh,shewantstoseemetomorrow...Oh,shesoundedreallyweird,IgottacallBarry...（Doesso,onphone）Hi,it'sme,Ijust..Mindy!
!
Mindy!
Hi!
No,Ifiguredthat'swhereyou'dbe!
CommercialBreak
[Scene:
MonicaandRachel's,thenextmorning. Chandlerissittingandstaringathisphone. MonicaentersandcreepsupnexttoChandler.]
Monica:
Brrrrrrr!
（Chandlerclutchesathisphonebeforer
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