The Ransom of Mack.docx

The Ransom of Mack.docx

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TheRansomofMack

TheRansomofMack

MeandoldMackLonsbury,wegotoutofthatLittleHide-and-Seekgoldmineaffairwithabout$40,000apiece.Isay"old"Mack;buthewasn'told.Forty-one,Ishouldsay;buthealwaysseemedold.

"Andy,"hesaystome,"I'mtiredofhustling.Youandmehavebeenworkinghardtogetherforthreeyears.Sayweknockoffforawhile,andspendsomeofthisidlemoneywe'vecoaxedourway."

"Thepropositionhitsmejustright,"saysI."Let'sbenabobsforawhileandseehowitfeels.What'llwedo--takeintheNiagaraFalls,orbuckatfaro?

"

"Foragoodmanyyears,"saysMack,"I'vethoughtthatifIeverhadextravagantmoneyI'drentatwo-roomcabinsomewhere,hireaChinamantocook,andsitinmystockingfeetandreadBuckle'sHistoryofCivilisation."

"Thatsoundsself-indulgentandgratifyingwithoutvulgarostentation,"saysI;"andIdon'tseehowmoneycouldbebetterinvested.GivemeacuckooclockandaSepWinner'sSelf-InstructorfortheBanjo,andI'lljoinyou."

AweekafterwardsmeandMackhitsthissmalltownofPina,aboutthirtymilesoutfromDenver,andfindsaneleganttwo-roomhousethatjustsuitsus.Wedepositedhalf-a-peckofmoneyinthePinabankandshookhandswitheveryoneofthe340citizensinthetown.WebroughtalongtheChinamanandthecuckooclockandBuckleandtheInstructorwithusfromDenver;andtheymadethecabinseemlikehomeatonce.

Neverbelieveitwhentheytellyourichesdon'tbringhappiness.IfyoucouldhaveseenoldMacksittinginhisrocking-chairwithhisblue-yarnsockfeetupinthewindowandabsorbinginthatBucklestuffthroughhisspecsyou'dhaveseenapictureofcontentthatwouldhavemadeRockefellerjealous.AndIwaslearningtopickout"OldZipCoon"onthebanjo,andthecuckoowasontimewithhisremarks,andAhSingwasmessinguptheatmospherewiththehandsomestsmellofhamandeggsthateverlaidthehoneysuckleintheshade.WhenitgottoodarktomakeoutBuckle'snonsenseandthenotesintheInstructor,meandMackwouldlightourpipesandtalkaboutscienceandpearldivingandsciaticaandEgyptandspellingandfishandtrade-windsandleatherandgratitudeandeagles,andalotofsubjectsthatwe'dneverhadtimetoexplainoursentimentsaboutbefore.

OneeveningMackspokeupandaskedmeifIwasmuchapprisedinthehabitsandpoliciesofwomenfolks.

"Why,yes,"saysI,inatoneofvoice;"Iknow'emfromAlfredtoOmaha.Thefemininenatureandsimilitude,"saysI,"isasplaintomysightastheRockyMountainsistoablue-eyedburro.I'montoalltheirlittleside-stepsandpunctualdiscrepancies."

"Itellyou,Andy,"saysMack,withakindofsigh,"Ineverhadtheleastamountofintersectionwiththeirpredispositions.MaybeImighthavehadapronenessinrespecttotheirvicinity,butInevertookthetime.ImademyownlivingsinceIwasfourteen;andIneverseemedtogetmyratiocinationsequippedwiththesentimentsusuallydepictedtowardthesect.IsometimeswishIhad,"saysoldMack.

"They'reanadversestudy,"saysI,"andadaptedtopointsofview.Althoughtheyvaryinrationale,Ihavefound'emquiteoftenobviouslydifferingfromeachotherindivergencesofcontrast."

"Itseemstome,"goesonMack,"thatamanhadbettertake'eminandsecurehisinspirationsofthesectwhenhe'syoungandsopreordained.Iletmychancegoby;andIguessI'mtoooldnowtogohoppingintothecurriculum."

"Oh,Idon'tknow,"Itellshim."Maybeyoubettercredityourselfwithabarrelofmoneyandalotofemancipationfromaquantityofuncontent.Still,Idon'tregretmyknowledgeof'em,"Isays."Ittakesamanwhounderstandsthesymptomsandby-playsofwomen-folkstotakecareofhimselfinthisworld."

WestayedoninPinabecausewelikedtheplace.Somefolksmightenjoytheirmoneywithnoiseandraptureandlocomotion;butmeandMackwehadhadplentyofturmoilsandhoteltowels.Thepeoplewerefriendly;AhSinggottheswingofthegrubweliked;MackandBucklewereasthickastwobody-snatchers,andIwashittingoutacordialresemblanceto"BuffaloGals,Can'tYouComeOutTo-night,"onthebanjo.

OnedayIgotatelegramfromSpeight,themanthatwasworkingonamineIhadaninterestinoutinNewMexico.Ihadtogooutthere;andIwasgonetwomonths.IwasanxioustogetbacktoPinaandenjoylifeoncemore.

WhenIstruckthecabinInearlyfainted.Mackwasstandinginthedoor;andifangelseverwept,Isawnoreasonwhytheyshouldbesmilingthen.

Thatmanwasaspectacle.Yes;hewasworse;hewasaspyglass;hewasthegreattelescopeintheLickObservatory.Hehadonacoatandshinyshoesandawhitevestandahighsilkhat;andageraniumasbigasanorderofspinachwasspikedontohisfront.Andhewassmirkingandwarpinghisfacelikeaninfernalstorekeeperorakidwithcolic.

"Hello,Andy,"saysMack,outofhisface."Gladtoseeyouback.Thingshavehappenedsinceyouwentaway."

"Iknowit,"saysI,"andasacrilegioussightitis.Godnevermadeyouthatway,MackLonsbury.WhydoyouscarifyHisworkswiththispresumptuouskindofribaldry?

"

"Why,Andy,"sayshe,"they'veelectedmejusticeofthepeacesinceyouleft."

IlookedatMackclose.Hewasrestlessandinspired.Ajusticeofthepeaceoughttobedisconsolateandassuaged.

Justthenayoungwomanpassedonthesidewalk;andIsawMackkindofhalfsnickerandblush,andthenheraiseduphishatandsmiledandbowed,andshesmiledandbowed,andwentonby.

"Nohopeforyou,"saysI,"ifyou'vegottheMary-Janeinfirmityatyourage.Ithoughtitwasn'tgoingtotakeonyou.Andpatentleathershoes!

Allthisintwolittleshortmonths!

"

"I'mgoingtomarrytheyoungladywhojustpassedto-night,"saysMack,inakindofflutter.

"Iforgotsomethingatthepost-office,"saysI,andwalkedawayquick.

Iovertookthatyoungwomanahundredyardsaway.Iraisedmyhatandtoldhermyname.Shewasaboutnineteen;andyoungforherage.Sheblushed,andthenlookedatmecool,likeIwasthesnowscenefromthe"TwoOrphans."

"Iunderstandyouaretobemarriedto-night,"Isaid.

"Correct,"saysshe."Yougotanyobjections?

"

"Listen,sissy,"Ibegins.

"MynameisMissRebosaRedd,"sayssheinapainedway.

"Iknowit,"saysI."Now,Rebosa,I'moldenoughtohaveowedmoneytoyourfather.Andthatold,specious,dressed-up,garbled,sea-sickptomaineprancingaboutavidiouslylikeanirremediableturkeygobblerwithpatentleathershoesonismybestfriend.Whydidyougoandgethiminvestedinthismarriagebusiness?

"

"Why,hewastheonlychancetherewas,"answersMissRebosa.

"Nay,"saysI,givingasickeninglookofadmirationathercomplexionandstyleoffeatures;"withyourbeautyyoumightpickanykindofaman.Listen,Rebosa.OldMackain'tthemanyouwant.Hewastwenty-twowhenyouwasneeReed,asthepaperssay.Thisburstingintobloomwon'tlastwithhim.He'sallventilatedwitholdnessandrectitudeanddecay.OldMack'sdownwithacaseofIndiansummer.Heoverlookedhisbetwhenhewasyoung;andnowhe'ssuingNaturefortheinterestonthepromissorynotehetookfromCupidinsteadofthecash.Rebosa,areyoubentonhavingthismarriageoccur?

"

"Why,sureIam,"saysshe,oscillatingthepansiesonherhat,"andsoissomebodyelse,Ireckon."

"Whattimeisittotakeplace?

"Iasks.

"Atsixo'clock,"saysshe.

Imadeupmymindrightawaywhattodo.I'dsaveoldMackifIcould.Tohaveagood,seasoned,ineligiblemanlikethatturnchickenforagirlthathadn'tquiteatingslatepencilsandbuttoninginthebackwasmorethanIcouldlookonwitheasiness.

"Rebosa,"saysI,earnest,drawinguponmydisplayofknowledgeconcerningthefeminineintuitionsofreason--"ain'tthereayoungmaninPina--aniceyoungmanthatyouthinkaheapof?

"

"Yep,"saysRebosa,noddingherpansies--"Surethereis!

Whatdoyouthink!

Gracious!

"

"Doeshelikeyou?

"Iasks."Howdoeshestandinthematter?

"

"Crazy,"saysRebosa."Mahastowetdownthefrontstepstokeephimfromsittingthereallthetime.ButIguessthat'llbealloverafterto-night,"shewindsupwithasigh.

"Rebosa,"saysI,"youdon'treallyexperienceanyofthisadorationcalledloveforoldMack,doyou?

"

"Lord!

no,"saysthegirl,shakingherhead."Ithinkhe'sasdryasalavabed.Theidea!

"

"Whoisthisyoungmanthatyoulike,Rebosa?

"Iinquires.

"It'sEddieBayles,"saysshe."HeclerksinCrosby'sgrocery.Buthedon'tmakebutthirty-fiveamonth.EllaNoakeswaswildabouthimonce."

"OldMacktellsme,"Isays,"thathe'sgoingtomarryyouatsixo'clockthisevening."

"That'sthetime,"saysshe."It'stobeatourhouse."

"Rebosa,"saysI,"listentome.IfEddieBayleshadathousanddollarscash--athousanddollars,mindyou,wouldbuyhimastoreofhisown--ifyouandEddiehadthatmuchtoexcusematrimonyon,wouldyouconsenttomarryhimthiseveningatfiveo'clock?

"

Thegirllooksatmeaminute;andIcanseetheseinaudiblecogitationsgoingoninsideofher,aswomenwill.

"Athousanddollars?

"saysshe."OfcourseIwould."

"Comeon,"saysI."We'llgoandseeEddie."

WewentuptoCrosby'sstoreandcalledEddieoutside.Helookedtobeestimableandfreckled;andhehadchillsandfeverwhenImademyproposition.

"Atfiveo'clock?

"sayshe,"forathousanddollars?

Pleasedon'twakemeup!

Well,youaretherichuncleretiredfromthespicebusinessinIndia!

I'llbuyoutoldCrosbyandrunthestoremyself."

WewentinsideandgotoldmanCrosbyapartandexplainedit.Iwrotemycheckforathousanddollarsandhandedittohim.IfEddieandRebosamarriedeachotheratfivehewastoturnthemoneyovertothem.

AndthenIgave'emmyblessing,