英语角色扮演情景对话.docx
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英语角色扮演情景对话
英语角色扮演情景对话
四人小品《教室那些事》
超级搞笑的四人无厘头校园小品
文章末尾有中文对照
Fourpeoplewulitoufunnycampussketchplay"theclassroomofthosethings"
Character:
ABCD（fourmale）
Location:
theclassroom
Time:
morning
Props:
desk,chair,mop,cellphones,etc...
Opening!
A（withAcoupleofbookunderAyawnfacetiredapproach）:
thehappydays,thatfilltheholdtosleep.Aye,haven'ttoclass,theelderbrothertosleep.（bookcushiononthetabletosleep）
B（afterawhile,dozentelephoneadmission）:
?
Isay...Youoweme5millionyouryaexactlyisit?
Ah?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
ThattodayIlastwarningyou!
Youdon'talso!
Idon't!
...（saythatfinish,willthrowinmobilephoneonthedesk）
B（lookingatA,regrets）alas,oldAistheoldA,eatsatisfiedslept,wishhiminAdreamallthewaywalkgood,amen!
B（pickingupthephone）:
say,givesmallbeautifulaphone...
C（draggedbrokenmop,saidtheaudience）:
IcanimaginetheteacherintheexaminationpaperatthemouthwhenIchangetheshapeofthebleeding7frothy,too,anditisnowonderthattheteacherwillfineIwipeamonthfloor...Well,sometimesIjustdon'tunderstand,whydon'tyouhireaschoolcleanworkers?
Thisincreaseinjobsremaining,wecanalsotakethetimetobubblegirl!
ShouHuasaid:
Agirlnotbubble,nota,seethegirlwillbubble,punish.Aye,howtoapplauseissolittle?
B:
...Isaidsmallbeautifulah,onedayyounamewillappearinmyregisteredpermanentresidencethisgettingon,beforeweputtheyoungdidsomethingverybaddoit,inafewyears!
...
C（joking）:
hey,Belderbrotherandbeautyinthephonecall?
Listentoname,notyesterdaythatwhatlittledream!
!
!
!
!
B:
SHH...Gotogoto,findexcrementisnot?
（hurriedlyonphone）...Ah?
Benotisnot,isnotwhatsmalldream,youlistentowrong!
Alas...Youlistentome...Feed...（hangup）
B:
smallC,brotherandhowmanytimesyousay!
Don'tintheelderbrotherandMM...
B&C:
（Cfallbacksuchasflow）ganciagnioldernymphossureknowhowhotwater,andtheyhavenodevotionsmellhungerunconventionalfairytodietobotherelderbrother...
C:
heyhey
B:
well,youdon'tknow,toabachelor'ssection,theelderbrotherwhenthebachelor,theelderbrotherisatraditionalman,sohasbeensupportthreewifeandfourconcubinesystem,smallCo,（takeoutbook"playboy"）wanttolookattheflowersflowerisnot?
Longago,aswordswingtheworld;Now"amean"wildworld.Duetogotothetoiletto...toresearch
C（falsebesufferingoutfit）:
oh,hownotbashfulseeinbroaddaylightandthebook!
（tohimself）well,Iwaswatchingorlook?
Orsee?
Seeistosee?
Alas,Iwillnotlow,butyouweartoolittle...Well,Belderbrother,bytheway,whyshouldIseeinthetoilet?
B:
comeon,truedon'tknoworfalsedon'tknow!
Manallknow!
Youknow
C:
heyhey,Belderbrother,Ireallydon'tknow...
B（etc）:
thetoilettocooloff,whichpleasantlycoolwhichstayto...
C:
well...
A（confused）:
noisy?
Well,noisy?
Alsoletpeoplegotobed?
Icanbeafewseconds...Hundredsofthousandsoffluctuation,delayzasleeping,...Just...（sleep）
B:
scared!
OldAistheoldA,stilldaretofrightenelderbrother!
Couldhehavetoday'sfloatsoft?
Issuchaconfident?
C:
Belderbrother,Abrotherdaretoscareyou,orwhilehesleep,wegotopleasehimtoeattwonoodles.
B:
gotogoto,littlecome,youryapoorgetonlyatrouserscha,whichcomemoneypleasehimtoeatnoodles?
C:
well,wecanaskhimtoeatwithtearsandwerecrying.
B:
well,ok,theelderbrotherwouldliketoeaticecream,yougiveelderbrothertobuyato.
C:
well,Belderbrother,yousaidanarticlewiththepoortrouserscha,haha,whichcomethemoneytobuytheicecream?
B:
youpig,lasttimenotteachyouyaaspell?
Tosellicecreamthattheoldmansaid:
dayspirittounclespirittospiritspiritinanicecream.
C:
...Uh,oh!
Iwentto.（walkwhilesaid）alas,mylifeishalftheotherhalfisbadluckdealwithit
（Creadytoexit,Dsad-facedplaying）
C（smile）:
Dearly!
D（lookingatC,suddenlyquestioned）:
gotoyourheartofway?
C（jump）:
?
Don'tdon'tdonot...Youdon'tcome,youcomeovertogush.
D（tocryform）:
Ibebrokenhearted,youaremalicioushappyisnot?
C:
shout!
!
D:
what'sthematter?
Quicksayoutmakesushappyhappy...（theDpulltochair,sat）
D（tocry）:
5555...SmallXrunwithotherpeople,withjustnowIsendtextmessagessaybreakup...
A（confused）:
yeah,and...
C（exclusivereactioncomeovertoAsays）:
areyoutired?
Tiredofday!
Comfortableispreparedforthedead,sleep!
well
A（murkynodded,sleeping）
C:
（fromdogreat）saythatsee,whichbastarddaretorobmybrotherofwoman?
Alsodon'tsee（gestures）todon'thavelongwhenround,I'lltianmameteorsboxing...Brotherandyousay,youdon'thavetoworryabout,theelderbrotherofgodshinesinthebeautifulpostureofthemomentwhenchoppershandcutwire,allthewaywithlightningsparks,nothingelderbrotherputrough!
Said,whoisit!
D:
isXXX.
C:
ah?
!
XXX?
Theschoolthebrother-in-lawofzadrybrother'snephew'sfourbigauntofthegrandsonofclassmate?
Well,
IsuddenlyrememberedBbrotheraskedmetobuyhimanicecream,that,andthefinishedthecallBelderbrother,Iwillhelpyouandhe'dsay,wellwell
B:
（onphone）...?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Xiaojing,alas,believeme,myloveforyouislikeclimbingtotractortocoaxvictorious,yousay?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Wedon'tfit?
I'mpoor?
Alas..Also,asachild,Ithehomebepoorandcan'taffordthebike,somyfatherboughtmeahelicoptertowalking...?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Appropriate?
Oh...Smallbeautiful?
YouhearwhosaidsheandI?
（righteousnessiswords）tellyou,I'matraditionalman!
Alwayssupportmonogamy....Alas,youdon'tknow,oncehadaterriblelovebeforeme,butIcan'ttaketocherishuntilonethousand,thepartyhidethepastthehundredsandrocky,betweenthismortalworldthemostterriblethingofthis,Ihopegoddon'tgivemethisopportunityonceagain,Iwanttosmallbeautifulsaid,myinthemindonlysmallquiet,ifIhadtoavoidthisterribleinlovewithaddadeadline,Ihopeitistenthousandyears!
...What,smallbeautifulinnexttoyou?
Stillhasbeenlistening?
...Feed...（off）
Alas,,happytimealwaysflies!
Foronlysighsandendlessfeeling,whenhappinesstoknockatthedoor,probablyIamnotathome?
C（aflattering）:
BelderbrotherBelderbrother,haha,youphoneafter?
That,tellyousomethingha.
B:
（notbadvexed）say,crap.
C:
haha,thelittleDgirlfriendbesnatchedaway!
Youfirstexplainandconvincehisadvice,Igiveyougetaicecreamtofirst!
（off）
B:
what?
SmallDyoucome!
Whatcircumstanceagain?
Don'tputmybrotherinBeyes!
Daretorobmydaughter-in-law'sbrother,uh,no,daretorobmybrother'sdaughter-in-law,alsodon'tsee（gestures）todon'thavelongwhenround,I'lltianmameteorsboxing...Brotherandyousay,youdon'thavetoworryabout,theelderbrotherofgodshinesinthebeautifulpostureofthemomentwhenchoppershandcutwire,allthewaywithlightningsparks,nothingelderbrotherputrough!
Said,whoisit!
（saidtomaintainandCbeganwhentheactionoftoneandconsistent）
D:
oh,forgetit,Belderbrother,life,isinjuredside,thesideoflearntobestrong.ButIsoyoung,whichcomesomuchbruises?
B:
thatcannotline,althoughliveintragedythatgodwantsyoutostriveconstantlyforself-improvementbutdotheelderbrotherIcan'tturn!
Thisyeardon'twantnotafraid,afraidshameless,howcountriesdidn'ttakehisfacetoresearchbodyarmor?
Langlanginbroaddaylightrecognizedrobmybrother'swife.!
!
!
!
!
Who!
D（touchedon,laypronetoBcry）:
Belderbrother,that'sverykindofyou!
!
!
!
!
!
5555
B（comfort）:
okok,smallD,dozensofyearsyesstillheelladieslike,don'tcry.Don'tcry.Quicktogiveelderbrothersaywho!
D:
isXXX.
B:
XXX?
Theschoolthebrother-in-lawofzadrybrother'snephew'sfourbigauntofthegrandsonofclassmate?
Well,it'sanicedaytoday!
IthoughtsuddenlyItwopairsofsocksforgettowash,thelittleD,Ihavesomethingwillgofirst!
Haha!
Toodles!
!
!
!
!
（flash）
D:
（down）aye!
（atthistime,Dcellphonestoinformation!
）
D:
（readinginformation）dearD,sorry,begantobreakuptheinformationIsendthewrongman!
D:
ah?
!
!
!
!
!
!
SmallXIneedtoexplain!
!
!
!
!
!
（torunend）
A（afterAwhile,up,holdAstretch）:
oh,holdtheabdominalmusclestrainstratch.......Bookstousedwhenthepartyhateless（finishingbooks）,sleepto（seetable）afternoonorearly.（lookattheaudience）yi,sopeople!
!
!
!
!
Well,Ifeelalittlehungry,IthinkIstillgobacktomarketsconversedalllivingcreaturesgo!
（off）
Closing!
!
!
!
!
!
中文对照：
人物：
ABCD（四男）
地点：
教室
时间：
上午
道具：
课桌、椅子、拖把、手机等....
开幕！
A（拿着几本书打着呵欠一脸疲惫进场）：
这幸福的日子啊，就是吃饱了撑着去睡觉。
诶、还没上课，哥先睡会儿。
（书垫在桌子上睡）
B（过了会儿，打着电话入场）：
啊？
我说...你欠我的500万你丫到底还还不还的？
啊？
什么？
那我今天最后一次警告你！
你再不还！
我就不要了！
...（说完，将手机扔在课桌上）
B（看着A，感慨）唉，老A就是老A，吃饱就睡，祝他在梦中一路走好，阿门！
B（拿起手机）：
诶，给小丽打个电话...
C（拖着把破拖把入场，对着观众说）：
我能想象老师在改我试卷时口吐白沫七窍流血的模样，也很难怪老师会罚我擦一个月地板...唉，我有时候就是搞不明白，学校怎么不请个清洁工人呢?
这样在增加工作岗位之余，我们也能抓紧时间去泡妞嘛！
熟话说：
有妞不泡，大逆不道，见妞就泡，替天行道。
诶、怎么掌声就这么点儿啊？
B：
...我说小丽啊，总有一天你的名字会出现在我家的户口本上，趁着我们年轻把该干的坏事都干了吧，没几年啦！
...
C（开玩笑）：
哟，B哥在和美女打电话呢？
听名字，不是昨天那个什么小梦啊！
B：
嘘...去去去，找屎是不？
（连忙对着电话）....啊？
不是不是，不是什么小梦，你听错啦！
唉...你听我说....喂喂喂...（挂断）
B：
小C，哥跟你说多少次啦！
不要在哥和MM...
B&C：
（C倒背如流）干柴烈火如狼似虎水深火热缠缠绵绵难舍难分饥寒交迫高歌猛进欲仙欲死的时候打扰哥...
C：
嘿嘿
B：
唉，你不知道，为了过光棍节，哥当了光棍，哥是一个传统的男人，所以一直支持三妻四妾制，小C啊，（拿出本儿《花花公子》）想看花花是不？
古时，一剑闯荡天下；如今“一贱”放荡世界。
自个去厕所随便研究去...
C（假作苦难装）：
哎呀、在大白天咋好意思看这种书啊！
（自言自语）呃、我是看还是看呢？
还是看呢？
看是看呢?
唉、不是我意志低，而是你们穿
升级会员 