shitmydadsayss01e09.docx
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shitmydadsayss01e09
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-Ican'tbelieveyouwatchthatshow.
2
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05,680-->00:
00:
08,100
-Ithinkit'sfunny.I
likethefatorangeguy.
3
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00:
08,100-->00:
00:
10,500
-Itoldyou,dad.That'ssnooki.
4
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00:
11,260-->00:
00:
12,230
Well,he'sfunny.
5
00:
00:
12,230-->00:
00:
15,530
Tim,youwannawatchthese
idiotsonjerseyshore?
6
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00:
15,530-->00:
00:
18,590
-I'dloveto,butI'mabout
tohandscrubyourdelicates.
7
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18,590-->00:
00:
21,620
SoI'vegotmyownsituation.
8
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00:
21,910-->00:
00:
24,860
-Doyouwantmoremoney?
-Wishforit.
9
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00:
24,860-->00:
00:
27,360
-Doyouwantlove?
-Wishforit.
10
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27,360-->00:
00:
30,470
-Doyouwantabetterjob?
-Wishforit.
11
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30,470-->00:
00:
31,800
-Whothehellisthis?
12
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00:
31,800-->00:
00:
35,040
-I'mguessingit'slifecoachandbest
-sellingauthorcharlotteannrobinson.
13
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00:
35,040-->00:
00:
39,430
-Hi.I'mlifecoachandbest
-sellingauthorcharlotteannrobinson.
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39,430-->00:
00:
41,340
ButIcouldbewrong.
15
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00:
41,570-->00:
00:
46,910
-Allthiscanbeyoursby
usingmywishmethod-W-I-s-h.
16
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46,910-->00:
00:
49,860
Wantit...See...
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52,980
Happen.Wish!
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57,700
Iwant...Tosee...Theguidosfight!
19
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00:
57,700-->00:
01:
03,740
-Joinmeformyamazingseminarat
the...Sandiegoairportsuiteshotel.
20
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01:
03,740-->00:
01:
05,520
Thisfridaythroughmonday.
21
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01:
05,520-->00:
01:
08,890
Iguaranteeyourlives
willbechangedforever.
22
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01:
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01:
11,750
Iwishtoseeyouthere.
23
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01:
11,750-->00:
01:
14,360
-Whatabunchofgarbage.
-Iknow!
24
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01:
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01:
17,660
Whatit.Seeit.Happen.
25
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01:
17,660-->00:
01:
20,300
Shedroppedan"i".It'snotwish.
26
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01:
23,670
-It'swisih.
-It'sstupid.
27
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01:
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01:
26,600
Youwantsomething,youwork
forit.Youdon'twisihforit.
28
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01:
26,600-->00:
01:
30,600
Whatmindlessrubeswould
fallforsuchanobviousscam?
29
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01:
30,600-->00:
01:
35,740
-Oh,mygod,wejustcamebackfrom
thewishseminar,anditwasamazing.
30
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01:
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01:
37,410
-Ourliveswerechangedforever.
31
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01:
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01:
40,130
Andallwehadtodowas...
-Both:
wish.
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01:
42,160
Well,wishandquitourjobs.
33
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01:
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01:
44,300
Wait-what?
Whydidyou
guysquityourjobs?
34
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01:
44,300-->00:
01:
46,650
-Becauseourwishisto
startourownbusiness.
35
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01:
46,650-->00:
01:
48,830
-Well,doyouhave
anythingelselinedup?
36
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01:
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01:
52,400
-Nope.Nothingbutawish.
37
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01:
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01:
56,960
-IwishI'dremembered
tolockthedoor.
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02:
01,220
-==-
-=http:
//ytet.org=-ProudlyPresents
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02:
05,860
ShitMyDad
SaysSeason01Episode09
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09,110
-==-
-=http:
//ytet.org=-Sync:
Âå¿Ë·Æ
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13,770
-Pop,beforeyoujudgeus-
-Youaretitanicidiots!
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15,270
Isaidbefore.
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17,230
-Ed,wehatedworkingforthatcompany.
44
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17,230-->00:
02:
19,050
Wealwayswantedtosell
realestateonourown.
45
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02:
19,050-->00:
02:
23,810
-Sobeforeyouyellatus--Thisisthedumbest
thingyou'veeverdone.Youaretitanicidiots!
46
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02:
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02:
26,320
-Idon'tthinkhe
knowswhatbeforemeans.
47
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02:
32,180
-Youdon'tquitapayingjobsellingrealestate
totakeanunpayingjobsellingrealestate!
48
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02:
35,670
-Youhavenoideahowhorrible
itwastoworkatthatcompany.
49
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02:
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02:
38,100
Ourbosskatie
-Shewasamonster.
50
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02:
41,970
Whatwasthat,uh,thatterriblename
sheusedtocallyou?
Itwas,uh...
51
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02:
46,150
-Itwas...Titanicidiot.
-Yes.
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47,450
Yes,thatwasit.
53
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02:
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02:
52,780
Doyouhaveideawhatit'sliketoworkfora
despicabletaskmasterwhoinsultsyoualldaylong?
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54,950
Ido!
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56,760
Zipit,hazel.
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59,960
Igotatoiletring
withyournameonit.
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05,360
-Look,dad,we'vealwayswanted
tostartourowncompany.
58
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05,360-->00:
03:
07,610
Wejustneverhadthe
couragetogoaheadanddoit.
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03:
07,610-->00:
03:
10,120
Charlotte'swishseminargave
usthatpushthatweneeded.
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10,120-->00:
03:
13,560
-Idon'twannalookback50years
fromnowandsayIdidn'ttakeachance,
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13,560-->00:
03:
16,000
Ididn'tstarta
businesswithmyhusband.
62
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16,000-->00:
03:
18,600
Andnowit'stoolate.He'sdead.
63
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03:
18,600-->00:
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23,100
Wal-ho-Hold
onasecond.
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03:
23,310-->00:
03:
24,650
WhyamIdead?
65
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03:
24,650-->00:
03:
27,120
-Sharkattack.Itwasonthenews.
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03:
31,850
Youletsomeshystertalk
youintoquittingyourjobs?
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03:
35,250
-No,no,charlotte'stherealdeal,
andshebroughtmeuponstage.
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03:
38,090
Itwasamazing.Changedmylifeforever.
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38,090-->00:
03:
44,200
TheonlytimeI'veeverheardofanybodyhaving
theirlifechangedforeveronstagewasintijuana.
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03:
45,980-->00:
03:
49,880
Itinvolvedadonkey
andaziplocbaggie.
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03:
50,770-->00:
03:
53,550
-Thatwastheworst
familyvacationever.
72
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03:
54,110-->00:
03:
56,020
Youaretoocynical,ed.
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00:
03:
56,020-->00:
03:
59,140
Charlottehasmademillions
helpingpeoplejustlikeus.
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04:
04,070
-Hey,listen,I'mallfortakingadvantageofweak
-mindedpeople.
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04:
04,620-->00:
04:
07,510
That'showIgotlaid
inthefifties,but...
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04:
08,640-->00:
04:
13,130
Anyonewhosays,"justwishforitand
it'llhappen,"they'refullofcrap.
77
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04:
16,210
Well,webelieveit,andwethink
we'regonnabeverysuccessful.
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04:
16,210-->00:
04:
19,000
-Everyidiotthinks
they'regonnabesuccessful.
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21,130
That'swhythey'reidiots!
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23,650
Vince!
-Allright,allright.Look,dad...
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27,470
We'renotliketheotheridiots.
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29,650
Goodone,honey.
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33,060
-Ican'tbelievethetwoofyoudidthis.
-Look,pop,wejustmadeaprettymajorlifedecision.
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35,880
Itwouldbeniceifyouwerealittlebitsupportive.
-Yeah.
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36,280-->00:
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41,110
-Couldyousaysomething...Positive?
-Ofcourse.I'mpositive...
86
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41,110-->00:
04:
45,060
Thatthissupernovaofgarbage
willexplodeinyourface.
87
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45,060-->00:
04:
48,720
Youtitanicidiots!
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04:
50,630-->00:
04:
53,750
-Whydowekeepgetting
thisguyfather'sdaygifts?
89
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59,930-->00:
05:
04,690
hey.CanIinterestyouinalittlet&a?
90
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06,460-->00:
05:
10,200
Excuseme?
-Turkeyandavocadosandwich.I'mfamousforthem.
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12,910
-Ah.T&a.Turkeyand
avocado.-Mm-hmm.
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05:
16,000
-Gladyoudidn'taskmeif
Iwantedabaloneyandjam.
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19,760
-Well,doyouwantoneornot?
-I'mgood.
94
00:
05:
19,760-->00:
05:
21,840
I'mjustdoingsomeresearch
forthisarticleI'mwriting.
95
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05:
21,840-->00:
05:
25,220
Well,whatdoyouknow?
Arealjob.
96
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05:
25,790-->00:
05:
28,370
Who'dofthoughtyou'dbe
thesonI'dbeproudof?
97
00:
05:
29,670-->00:
05:
33,260
-Well,youonlygottwo.IfigureIgota50
-50shot.
98
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05:
33,570-->00:
05:
34,850
What'stheassignment?
99
00:
05:
34,850-->00:
05:
37,140
-Ipitchedmyeditorastory
oncharlotteannrobinson,
100
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37,140-->00:
05:
40,350
youknow,thatwishladywhoconvinced
vinceandbonnietoquittheirjobs?
101
00:
05:
40,350-->00:
05:
45,110
-Yeah,well,ifyouwannadoastory
onawomanwhomakeswishescometrue,
102
00:
05:
45,110-->00:
05:
49,060
gotothecactusclubin
tijuanaandaskforconchita.
103
00:
05:
49,980-->00:
05:
53,440
-That'sjustastoryaboutprostitutes.
-I'dreadit.
104
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05:
53,750-->00:
05:
56,280
Guaranteedhappyending.
105
00:
05:
57,900-->00:
06:
00,140
-Thanks,dad.Anyway...
106
00:
06:
00,140-->00:
06:
04,800
Myangleonthestoryishowtheseself-helpgurus
tendtodoreallywellindifficulteconomictimes.
107
00:
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04,800-->00:
06:
07,180
-Inmyday,wedidn'tcallthemself
-helpgurus.
108
00:
06:
07,180-->00:
06:
09,820
Wecalledthemsnakeoilsalesmen.
109
00:
06:
09,820-->00:
06:
14,900
Andwewouldtarandfeatherthem
andrunthemoutoftownonarail.
110
00:
06:
15,860-->00:
06:
20,690
-Thenyouloadedupyourmusketandwentouttofightthemindians,right,pa?
-That'sright.
111
00:
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20,690-->00:
06:
26,550
Youmakesurewhenyouwritethatarticleyou
talkaboutallthecrapthatwomanpeddles.
112
00:
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06:
28,950
-Youknow,thisbook
isprettyinteresting.
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06:
32,240
-I'mgonnagocheckoutherseminartoday.
-I'llsaveyaatrip.
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34,290
Here'syourstory.
115
00:
06:
34,290-->00:
06:
37,790
Givepeoplewhattheywant,
andthey'llpayyaforit.
116
00:
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37,790-->00:
06:
40,370
It'salsoconchita'sbook.
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06:
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06:
43,210
Here.
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45,850
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