Friends老友记六人行中英文对照剧本116.docx

Friends老友记六人行中英文对照剧本116.docx

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Friends老友记六人行中英文对照剧本116

Friends老友记六人行中英文对照剧本

116TheOneWithTwoParts,part1

[Scene:

Rift’sRestaurant,asseeninMadAboutYou,JoeyandChandlerarethere.]

Chandler:

Thisisunbelievable.It’sbeenlikeahalfanhour.Ifthiswasacartoon,you’dbelookinglikeahamrightaboutnow.

（UrsulaBuffay,Phoebe’sidenticaltwinsister,iswaitingontablesinherinimitablemanner.）

Joey:

There’sthewaitress.Excuseme,Miss.Hello,Miss?

（Ursulaspinsaroundlookingpuzzled,quiteunabletotellwherethesoundiscomingfrom.）

Chandler:

It’sPhoebe!

Hi!

（UrsulanoticesJoeywavinghishand,andcomesover.）

Ursula:

Hi.Okay,willthatbeall?

Chandler:

Wait,wait!

Wh-whatareyoudoinghere?

Ursula:

Yeah,um,Iwasoverthere,thenyousaid,"Excuseme,helloMiss,"sonowI’mhere.

Joey:

No,no...howcomeyouareworkinghere?

Ursula:

Right,yeah,’causeitsclosetowhereIlive,andtheapronsarereallycute.

Chandler:

Canwestartover?

Ursula:

Yeah.Okaygreat.I’mgonnabeoverhere.（Shewandersaway.）

Chandler&Joey:

No,no,no!

OpeningCredits

[Scene:

AwintryFebruarydayinNewYorkCity,snowplowsareclearingthestreets.InsideCentralPerk,allthreegirlsarepayingcourttoRoss.]

Ross:

Idon’tknowwhetherhe’stestingme,orjustactingout,butmymonkeyisoutofcontrol.But,hekeepserasingthemessagesonmymachine,"supposedly"byaccident.

Rachel:

No,yeah,I’vedonethat.

Ross:

Andthen,likethreedaysinarowhegottothenewspaperbeforeIdid,andpeedalloverthecrossword.

Rachel:

I’veneverdonethat.

（Outsideinthestreet,JoeyandChandlerarrive,topeerthroughthewindowatPhoebe,bybendingdowntolookunderneaththeshop’ssign—alargesteamingcupofcoffee.）

Chandler:

Allright,nowlookatherandtellmeshedoesn’tlookexactlylikehersister.

Joey:

I’msayin’Iseeadifference.

Chandler:

They’retwins!

Joey:

Idon’tcare.Phoebe’sPhoebe.Ursula’s...hot!

（JoeyandChandlercomeindoors.）

Chandler:

Youknowthatthing,whenyouandItalktoeachotheraboutthings?

Joey:

Yeah.

Chandler:

Let’snotdothatanymore.

（Theyhanguptheircoatsandscarves,thenapproachtheirfriendsonthemainsofa.）

All:

Heyguys!

Hey!

Joey:

HeyPheebs,guesswhowesawtoday.

Phoebe:

Ooh,ooh,fun!

Okay...um,LiamNeeson.

Joey:

Nope.

Phoebe:

MorlySafer.

Joey:

Nope.

Phoebe:

Thewomanwhocutsmyhair!

Monica:

Okay,look,thiscouldbeareallylonggame.

Chandler:

YoursisterUrsula.

Phoebe:

（Herfacedropping）Oh,really.

Chandler:

Yeah,yeah,sheworksoveratthatplace,uh...

Phoebe:

Rift’s.Yeah,Iknow.

Chandler:

Oh,youdo?

Becauseshesaidyouguyshaven’ttalkedinlikeyears.

Phoebe:

Hmmm?

Yeah.So,um,isshefat?

Joey:

NotfromwhereIwasstandin’.

Phoebe:

（TurningtoChandler）wherewereyoustanding?

Rachel:

Um,Pheebs,so,youguysjustdon’tgetalong?

Phoebe:

It’smostlyjustdumbsisterstuff,youknow,Imean,like,everyonealwaysthoughtofherastheprettyone,youknow...Oh,oh,shewasthefirstonetostartwalking,eventhoughIdidit...laterthatsameday.But,tomyparents,bythenitwaslike"yeah,right,wellwhatelseisnew?

"

Ross:

Oh,Pheebs,I’msorry,I’vegottogo.I’vegotLamazeclass.

Chandler:

Oh,andI’vegotEarthScience,butI'llcatchyouinGym.

Rachel:

So,isthisjustgonnabeyouandCarol?

Ross:

No,Susan’sgonnabetheretoo.We’vegotdads,we’vegotlesbians,thewholeparentingteam.

Rachel:

Well,isn’t,isn’tthatgonnabeweird?

Ross:

No,no.（Distractedlyputtingonajackettogoout）Imean,itmightabeenatfirst,butbynowI,IthinkI’mprettycomfortablewiththewholesituation.

Monica:

Ross,that’smyjacket.

Ross:

Iknow.

（RachelgrinsasRossremovesthegirliejacket,grabshisown,andrushesout.）

[Scene:

TheLamazeclass,severalcouplesandonetriositonthefloor,introducingthemselvestotheteacher,who’sgotasfarasawomansittingnexttoRoss,Carol,andSusan.]

Woman:

Hi,we’retheRostins.Err,I’mJ.C.,andhe’sMichael,andwe’rehavingaboy,andagirl.

Teacher:

Goodforyou.Alrighty,next?

Ross:

Hi,um,I’merr,（hastoclearhisthroat）I’mRossGeller,anderrah...（patsCarol’sbulge）..that’s,that’smyboyinthere,anduh,（points）thisisCarolWillick,andthis...isSusanBunch.SusanisumCarol’s,just,com...（embarrassmentfinallyoverwhelmsthepoorfellow,whobecomesincoherentuntil）..who’snext?

Teacher:

I’msorry,Ididn’tget...Susanis?

Ross:

SusanisCarol’s,Carol’s,Carol’s,friend...

Carol:

Lifepartner.

Ross:

Likebuddies.

Susan:

Likelovers.

Ross:

Youknowhowclosewomencanget.

（Theteachersmiles,buthereyebrowsgoup.SusanandCarolpateachotheraffectionately.）

Carol:

SusanandIlivetogether.

Ross:

AlthoughIwasmarriedtoher.

Susan:

Carol,notme.

Ross:

Err,right.

Carol:

It’salittlecomplicated.

Ross:

Alittle.

Susan:

Butwe’refine.

Ross:

Absolutely.（Turnsbacktothewomannexttohim.）So,twins...hah!

That’sliketwobirths.（Hestrugglesagain.）Ouch.

[Scene:

Chandler'sOffice,Chandlerisworking.]

（Helen’sbuzzerisheardontheintercom,soChandlerpresseshisbutton,too.）

Chandler:

And（heimitatesthebuzzer）toyoutoo,Helen.

Helen:

（Overtheintercom）NinaBookbinderisheretoseeyou.

Chandler:

Oh,okay.Sendherin.

（Hehurriedlycheckshishairinhiscomputerscreen,beforetakingasportingtrophyfromadrawertoplaceostentatiouslyonhisdesk.Anattractiveyoungwomanopensthedoor.）

Nina:

Hi.

Chandler:

Hi,Nina.Comeonin.

Nina:

Youwantedtoseeme?

Chandler:

Uh,Yes.Yes.I’vejustbeengoingoveryourdatahere,andlittlething,you’vebeenpost-datingyourFridaynumbers.

Nina:

Whichisbad,because?

Chandler:

Well,itthrowsmyWENUSoutofwhack.

Nina:

Your...excuseme?

Chandler:

WENUS.（Coughs）WeeklyEstimatedNet...

Nina:

Oh,NetUsageStatistics,right.Gotcha,gotcha.Won’thappenagain.Iwouldn’twanttodoanythingtohurtyour..."wenus."

（NinabeamsflirtatiouslyatChandler,whocatchesherdrift,butforoncehe’slostforsomethingtosay–soshenodsherheadtotellhimthathe’sthinkingcorrectly...）

[Scene:

MonicaandRachel's,Ross,Chandler,andthegirlsaredividingsomeChinesetakeout,whilethesitcomFamilyMattersisplayingontheTV.]

Chandler:

It’snotjustthatshe’scute,okay.It’sjustthat...she’sreallyreallycute.

Ross:

Itdoesn’tmatter.Youdon’tdipyourpeninthecompanyink.

（Marcelscampersabout,interferingwiththeneatness.）

Monica:

Ross,yourlittlecreature’sgottheremoteagain.

Ross:

Marcel,Marcel,giveRossietheremote.Marcel.Marcel,yougiveRossietheremoterightnow...Marce...yougiveRossietheremote...

（MarcelpointstheremoteatMonica’stelevision,pressingaparticularcombinationofkeys.ThelogoSAPappearsonthescreen,andsuddenlythedialogueisdubbedintoSpanish.）

Monica:

Great.

Ross:

Relax,I’llfixit.

Rachel:

（Lookingatthetelevision）Cool..."Urkel"inSpanishis"Urkel."

Ross:

（lookingattheremote）Howdidhedothis?

Chandler:

（Lookingoutatthebalcony）Sotellmesomething,isleavingtheChristmaslightsuppartofyourplantokeepusmerryallyearlong?

（Rachelslowlyspinsaround,finallynoticingthatthelightshaveoutstayedtheirwelcome.）

Monica:

Ahno,yousee,someonewassupposedtotakethemdownaroundNewYear’s...butobviouslysomeoneforgot.

Rachel:

Well,someonewassupposedtowrite"Rach,takedownthelights"andputitonthere...frigerate...（finallynoticingMonica’snotestucktotherefrigerator）Howlonghasthatbeenthere?

（Joeyenters,lookingextremelypleasedwithhimself.）

Chandler:

Hey,whereyoubeen?

Joey:

IwentbacktoRiff’s.IthinkUrsulalikesme.AllIorderedwascoffee,shebroughtmeatunameltandfourplatesofcurlyfries.

Chandler:

Score.

Joey:

Sheissohot!

Chandler:

Yeah,listen.Okay,beforeyoudoanythingJoey-like,youmightwannarunitbyerr...（heindicatesPhoebe,whoishelpingRossunderstandtheremotecontrol.）

Joey:

Pheebs?

Phoebe:

（Jumpingup）Yeah?

Joey:

YouthinkitwouldbeokayifIaskedoutyoursister?

Phoebe:

Why?

Whywouldyouwanna...dothat?

 Why?

Joey:

Sothatifwewentoutonadate,she’dbethere.

Phoebe:

Well,Imean,I’mnotmysister’s,youknow,whatever,andum...Imean,it’strue,wewereoneegg,once,buterr,youknow,we’vegrownapart,so,um...Idon’tknow,whynot?

Okay.

Joey:

Cool,thanks.

（HehappilygesturesatChandlerthattherewasnothingtoworryabout,thenexits.RachelandMonicaareconcernedforpoorPhoebe,whoslidesbackdownnexttoRoss.）

Ross:

Youokay?

Phoebe:

YeahI’mfine.

Ross:

YouwannawatchLaverneyShirley?

（Thesitcombeginswithitsfamiliarrefrain,yetwithaLatinlilt.RachelandMonicadoalittledancewiththeirchopsticks,andPhoebehastogrinasRossjoinsintherhythm.）

[Scene:

Lamazeclass.Susanisthere.Eachcouplehasadoll,fortheyhavejustfinishedlearninghowtochangeadiaper.AsRossrushesin,steppingontheRostins’pretendbaby,squashingitsheadflat.Itbleats,inprotest.Heperformsemergencysurgery,thenhandsthedollbacktoJ.C.]

Ross:

Sorry.

Ross:

Hi.SorryI’mlate.Where’s,where’sCarol?

Susan:

Stuckatschool.Someparent-teacherthing.Youcango.I’llgettheinformation.

Ross:

No...No...No.IthinkIshouldstay,Ithinkweshouldbothknowwhat’sgoingon.

Susan:

Oh,good.This’llbefun.

Teacher:

Alrighty.We’regonnastartwithsomebasicthirdstagebreathingexercises,soMummies,whydon’tyougetonyourback?

And...coaches,youshouldbesupportingMummy’shead.

（RossandSusaneachgesturefortheothertoliedown.）

RossandSusan:

What?

What?

What?

Susan:

Iamsupposedtobethemommy?

Ross:

Okay,I’mgonnaplaymyspermcardonemore