绝望的主妇剧本文档格式.docx

绝望的主妇剧本文档格式.docx

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Oh~~~~!

It’smyneighbor.Ithinkshehasbeenshot!

There’sbloodeverywhere.Yes,you’vegottosendanambulance.You’vegottosendonerightnow!

Andforamoment,Mrs.Huberstoodmotionlessinherkitchen,grief-strickenbythesenselesstragedy,but,onlyforamoment.IfthereisonethingMrs.Huberwasknownfor,itwasherabilitytolookonthebrightside.

IwaslaidtorestonMonday.Afterthefuneral,allresidentsofWisteriaLanecametopaytheirrespect.Andaspeopledointhissituation,theybroughtfood.

LynetteScavobroughtfriedchicken.Lynettehadagreatfamilyrecipeforfriedchicken.Ofcourse,shedidn’tcookmuchwhenshewasmovingupthecorporateladders.Shedidn’thavethetime.

ButwhenherdoctorannouncedLynettewaspregnant,herhusband,Tom,hadanidea.“Whynotquityourjob?

Kidsdobetterwithstayhomemom.Soitwouldbesomuchlessstressful.

But,thiswasnotthecase.Infact,Lynette’slifehadbecomesohectic.Shewasnowforcedtogetherfriedchickenfromafastfoodrestaurant.

Lynettewouldhaveappreciatedtheironyifshestartedtothinkaboutit.But,shecouldn’t.Shedidn’thavethetime.

Lynette:

Stopit!

Kids:

Mom~~!

You’regoingtobehavetoday.Iwillnotgoingtobehumiliatedinfrontoftheentireneighborhood.And,justsoyouknowhowseriousIam?

Oneofthetwins:

What’sthat?

Santa’scellphonenumber.

Theotherofthetwins:

Howdoyougetthat?

Iknowsomeonewhoknowssomeonewhoknowsanelf.Andifanyofyouactsup,sohelpme,IwillcallSantaandIwilltellhimyouwantsocksforChristmas!

Areyouwillingtoriskthat?

Kidsshaketheirheadsno.

Ok.Let’sgetthisoverwith.

GabrielleSolis,wholivesdowntheblock,broughtspicypaella.SincehermodelingdaysinNewYork,Gabriellehaddevelopedhertasteforrichfoodandrichmen.

Carlos,whoworkedinmergersandacquisitions,proposedontheirthirddate.Gabriellewastouchedwhentearswelleduphiseyes.ButshesoondiscoveredthishappenedeverytimeCarlosclosedabigdeal.

Gabriellelikedpaellapipinghot.However,herrelationshipwithherhusbandwasconsiderablycooler.

Carlos:

IfyoutalktoAlMasonaboutathing,IwantyoucasuallymentionhowmuchIpaidforyournecklace.

Gabrielle:

Whydon’tIjustpaintthereceiptonmychest?

Heletmeknowhowmuchhehadpaidforhiswife’snewconvertible.Look,justworkintotheconversation.

Ijustcan’tfindawaytoworkitin,Carlos.

Whynot?

AttheDonahueParty,everyonewastalkingaboutthemutualfunds,andyoufoundawaytomentionyousleptwithhalfoftheYankeeoutfielders.

Iamtellingyou,itcameupinthecontextoftheconversations.

Hey!

Peoplearestartingtostare.Canyoukeepyourvoicedown,please?

Absolutely.Wouldn’twantpeopletothinkwearenothappy.

BreeVanDeCamp,wholivesnextdoor,broughtbasketsofmuffinsshebakedfromscratch.Breewasknownforhercooking,andformakingforherclothes,andfordoingherowngardeningandforre-upholsteringherownfurniture.Yes,Bree’smanytalentswereknownthroughouttheneighborhoodandeveryoneonWisteriaLanethoughtofBreeasaperfectwifeandmother.Everyonethatis,except,herownfamily.

Bree:

Paul,Zachary.

Zachary:

Hello,Mrs.VanDeCamp.

Paul:

Bree,youshouldn’tbegonethroughsomuchtroubles.

Itwasnotroubleatall.NowthebasketwithredribbonspilledwithdesertsforyourguestsbuttheonewithblueribbonisjustforyouandZachary.It’sgonnaberolls,muffinsbreakfasttypethings.

Thankyou.

AtleastIcanmakesureyourboywouldnotmissamealfortomorrow.Iknowyou’reoutofyourmindwithyourgrief.

Yes,weare.

Ofcourse,Iwillneedthebasketsbackonceyoudone.

Ofcourse.

SusanMayer,wholivesacrossthestreet,broughtmacaroniandcheeses.HerhusbandCarlalwaysteasedabouthermacaroni,sayingthiswastheonlythingsheknewhowtocookandsherarelyshemadeitwell.ItwastoosaltywhensheandCarlmovedintheirhouse.ItwastoowaterywhenthenightshefoundlipstickonCarl’sshirt.ShewasburntitthenightCarltoldherhewasleavingherforhissecretary.Ayearhadpassedsinceherdivorce,Susanhadstartedtothinkhowniceitwouldbetohaveamaninherlifeevenonewhowouldmadefunofhercooking.

Julie:

Mom,whywouldsomeonekillthemselves?

Susan:

Well.Sometimespeoplearesounhappyandtheythinkthisistheonlywaytheycansolvetheirproblems.

ButMrs.Youngalwaysseemedhappy.

Yeah.Sometimespeoplepretendtobeonewayontheoutside,buttheyaretotallydifferentontheinside.

AreyoumeanlikeDad’sgirlfriendwhoissmilingandsaysnicething,butdeepdown,youjustknowshe’sabitch?

Idon’tlikethatword,Julie.But,yeah,thatagreatexample.

Hey,I’msorryI’mlate.

Hey,Susan.

SowhatdidCarlsaywhenyouconfrontedhim?

Youwillloveit.Hesaid,“Itdoesn’tmeananything.Itwasjustsex.”

Oh.ThatwasonthepageoneofPenthousetablet.

Yeah.AndthenhehadaZenlookonhisface,said,“Youknow,Susan.Mostmenlivedlivesofquietdesperation.”

Pleasetellmeyoupunchedhim.

No.Isaid,“Really,andwhataboutmostwomenlive?

Livesofnoisyfulfillment?

Goodforyou.

Imean,ofallpeople.Didhehavetobanghissecretary?

Ihadthatwomanoverforbrunch.

It’slikemygrandmotheralwayssaidanerectpenisdoesnothaveconscious.

Evenlimpsonesaren’tofthatethnical.

SothatisthereasonIjoinedinNRA.WhenRexstartedgoingtothosemedicalconference,IwanteditinthebackofhismindthathehadalovingwifeathomewithloadedofSmith&

Wesson.

Lynette,Tom’salwaysawayonbusiness.Doyoueverworryonhim?

Oh,please.Thismangotmepregnant3timesin4years.Iwishhimhavingsexwithsomeoneelse.

SoSusan,hashegonnatostopseeingthatwoman?

Idon’tknow.I’msorry,guys.Ijust…Ijustdon’tknowhowI’mgoingtosurvivethis.

Listentome.Weallhavemomentsofdesperation.Butifwefacethemheadon,that’swhenwefindoutjusttellsushowstrongwereallyare.

Susan!

IwasjustsayingPaulwantsustogooveronFriday.HeneedsustogothroughMaryAlice’sclosetandpackupherthings.Hesaidhecan’tfacedoingitbyhimself.

Sure,that’sfine.

AreyouOk?

Yeah.I’mjustangry.IfMaryAlicewashavingproblems,sheshouldhavecometous.Sheshouldhaveletustohelpher.

Whatkindofproblemcouldshehavehad?

Shewashealthy,hadagreathomeandnicefamily.Herlifewas…

Ourlife.

No.IfMaryAlicewashavingsomethingofcrisis,weshouldhaveknown.Sheisjust50feetawayofus.

Gaby,thatwomankilledherself.Somethingmustbegoingon.

Iwouldn’teatthatifIwereyou.

Mike:

Why?

Imadeit.Trustme.Hey!

Doyouhavedeathwish?

No.Ijustrefusetobelievethatanybodycanscrewupthemacaroniandcheese.Oh,myGod!

Howdidyou…?

Ittasteslikeburnedandundercooked.

Yeah.Igetthatalot.

Thanks.I’mMikeDelfino.IjuststartrentingSims’shousenextdoor.

SusanMayer,Iliveacrossthestreet.

Oh,IheardfromMrs.Huberaboutyou.Shesaidyouillustratechildren’sbook.

Yeah.I’mverybigwiththeunder5set.Whatdoyoudo?

Plumber.Soifyoueverhaveaclogorsomething…

Now,everybody’sseenIhavebroughtsomething.Ishouldprobablyjustthrowthisout.

Easeup.Littlevampire..

Huber:

Lynette,I’vebeinglookingalloverforyou.Areyouawareofwhatareyoursonsdoing?

Whatareyoudoing?

Weareatawake.

Whenwegothere,yousaidwecangointothepool.

Isaidyoucangobythepool.Didyouhaveyourswimsuitson?

Yeah.Weputonourswimsuitswhenweleft.

Youthreeplaneditallright.That’sit!

Getout!

No!

No?

Iamyourmother.YouhavetodowhatIsay.Comeon!

Wewanttoswim.Youcan’tstopus!

GetoutorI’llgetintothepooltograbyou!

Getoverhere.That’sright!

Getoverhere.Out!

Paul,wehavetoleavenow.Onceagain,Iamsosorryforyourloss.Go!

Lynetteshouldhavenotbeensoconcernedaboutmyhusband.Hehadotherthingsinhismind,thingsbelowthesurface.

Themorningaftermyfuneral,myfriendsandneighborsquietlywithdrawbacktotheirbusy,busylife.Som