好汉两个半第二季Two and a Half Men中英剧本.docx

好汉两个半第二季Two and a Half Men中英剧本.docx

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好汉两个半第二季TwoandaHalfMen中英剧本

第一集

天啊这就是比赛Man.Okay,well,that'sthegame.

爸爸给我零花钱Dad,canIhavemyallowance?

给你Sure.Here.

谢谢给你Thanks.Here.

很高兴和你交易Pleasuredoingbusinesswithyou.

等等你把我儿子的零花钱用在赌球上You'retakingmyson'sallowanceonafootballbet?

他也有赢的时候要知道这只是奖励罢了Hey,whenhewins,Ipayoff.Youknow,minusthe

vig.

这可是因为他自己整理床我奖励给他的Minusthevig.You'recharginghimfortheprivilege

ofmakingabet?

这确实是奖励爸爸That'swhatthevigis,Dad.

面对现实吧学校里不会教这些东西的Faceit.He'snotgonnalearnthisstuffinschool.

我不在乎把钱还他Idon'tcare.Givehimhisallowanceback.

好吧Fine.

作为你赌博的惩罚这钱我没收了Yougetnoallowance.That'syourpunishmentfor

gambling.

我说的吧是的你是对的Toldyouhe'ddothat.Yeah,youdid.

很高兴和你交易Pleasuredoingbusinesswithyou.

今晚这里有个重要活动帮个忙Hey,listen.Afteryoudrophimoffathismom'shousetonight,

domeafavor?

差一句翻译她叫什么名字Justmakeyourselfscarce,okay?

What'shername?

还是我问的太早Orisittooearlytoask?

不是女人只是叫些我的朋友过来这It'snotagirl.I'mjusthavingfriendsover.

玩扑克我能参加吗Oh,poker?

Oh,canIplay?

比起以前我现在玩得很好了不是扑克I'mbetterthanIusedtobe.It'snotpoker.

同花比顺子大Wait.Aflushbeatsastraight...

俘虏比同花大对吧...andafullboatbeatsaflush,right?

Right...

俘虏和三加二是一样的Afullhouseandafullboatarethesame...

我保证我再也不会说"三俘虏二"了...soIwon'tsay"fullhouseboat"anymore.

不是打扑克那是什么It'snotpoker,Alan.Thenwhat'sgoingon?

只是一些朋友聚在一起抽抽雪茄I'mjusthavingsomefriendsovertosmokecigars...

品尝下精酿苏格兰威士忌以及随便聊聊...samplesomefinesinglemaltScotchand,you

know,talk.

这些我都很喜欢除了...威士忌让我有点胃胀气Ienjoyallthosethings.Well,Scotchmakes

mealittlegassy.

但吃点健胃消食片就没事了ButI'lltakeaBeanoandI'mgoodtogo.

很好但我认为你不适合参加That'snice,butIdon'tthinkyou'dbecomfortable.

为什么因为我们讨论私事Whynot?

Becausewetalkaboutpersonalthings.

你是说类似于互助会不不不不是互助会Youmeanlikeasupportgroup?

No,no,no.

It'snotasupportgroup.

是男人们聚在一起谈论他们这几个月的生活It'sjustguyswhogettogethertotalkabout

theirlives.

那就是互助会不不是That'sasupportgroup.No,it'snot.

那不是Okay,it'snot.

那不是It'snot.

我知道了那为什么我不能参加Gotit.Sowhycan'tIcome?

因为参加的人都是我的朋友Becausethesemenaremyfriends.

我们彼此信任和坦诚There'saleveloftrustandconfidentiality.

我不是你朋友?

你是我弟弟I'myourfriend.No,you'remybrother.

等等你认为我不是你朋友?

Waitaminute.Youdon'tconsidermeafriend?

这不是由我来决定的It'snotuptome.

朋友是可以选择的弟弟是命中注定没得挑的Afriendissomeoneyouchoose.Abrotheris

someoneyouget.

什么?

没有选择余地Excuseme?

There'snochoiceinvolved.

你爸爸就那么看着你然后说Yourdadjustwakesyouupinthenightandsays:

你母亲不是发胖那不再是你一个人的房间了"Yourmomwasn'treallyfatandthisisn't

yourroomanymore."

所以那么多年来我对你只是一个入侵者Soalltheseyears,I'vejustbeenanintrudertoyou?

一个不便一个累赘?

Aninconvenience?

Aburden?

你也可以这么理解Well,sure.Youcanspinitthatway.

我不知道你原来这么想的Youknow,Ihadnoideayoufeltthisway.

我很伤心Iamvery,veryhurt.

但你晚上还是会晚点回来的对吧?

Butyou'llstillmakeyourselfscarce,right?

再见查理叔叔回见朋友Bye,UncleCharlie.Seeyou,buddy.

他是你的朋友?

艾伦别扯了Oh,he'syourbuddy?

Alan,don'tstart.

他怎么会是你的朋友?

你没有选择他Howisheyourbuddy?

Youdidn'tchoosehim.

我选择让他留在这你也让我住在这里的Ichosetolethimstayhere.Youchosetolet

mestayheretoo.

不我选择了他多出了个你No.Ichosehim,Igotyou.

要知道有时候我真的很讨厌你Youknow,therearetimesIjustloatheyou.

那对于没把你当朋友不该觉得惊讶吧?

Andyetyou'resurprisedIdon'tconsideryouafriend.

好吧去和你那些所谓的知心朋友做互助会Okay,haveyourrealfriendstoyourlittle

"supportgroup."

那不是...那就是互助会Itisnot...Itisasupportgroup!

那是一帮没用并且无所事是的人聚在一起的互助会It'sasupportgroupforweak,rudderless

men.

我是绝对不会参加的除非你求我AndIwouldn'tbeapartofitifyoubeggedme.

好吧再见Okay,bye.

爸听听这个你可以自己挑选朋友Dad,checkthisout.Youcanpickyourfriends...

也可以挖鼻屎但你无法挖你朋友的鼻屎...youcanpickyournose,butyoucan'tpickyour

friend'snose.

知道谁告诉我的吗?

我可以猜到Youknowwhotoldmethat?

Icanguess.

查理叔叔说的知道为什么那么好笑吗因为是事实UncleCharlie.Andyouknowwhyit's

funny?

Becauseit'strue.

是是啊周末过的愉快点杰克Yeah,yeah.Haveaniceweek,Jake.

再见爸爸妈妈能给我点零花钱吗Bye,Dad.Hi,Mom.CanIhavemyallowance?

很高兴见到你甜心Imissedyoutoo,sweetie.

谢谢你把他接过来等等茱迪丝Thanksfordroppinghimby.Judith,holdon.

你认为我们是朋友吗?

Doyouconsiderusfriends?

我只知道你是我前夫Iconsideryoumyexhusband.

我知道但先把我们那无爱的婚姻和...Iknow.Butputtingasideforthemoment...

糟糕的离婚放一边...ourlovelessmarriageandmessydivorce...

我们之间总还是有着某种联系对吧?

...wealwayshadacertaincamaraderie,amIright?

我们现在能不能不谈这个我正在招待朋友吃晚饭Canwetalksomeothertime?

I'mhaving

peopleoverfordinner.

真的吗?

有我认识的人吗?

Oh,really?

AnybodyIknow?

桑德拉和霍华德我能去打声招呼吗?

SandraandHoward.Oh,nokidding.CanIsay

hello?

我想最好不要为什么?

I'dratheryoudidn't.Whynot?

桑德拉和霍华德也是我的朋友事实上还是我介绍你们认识的SandraandHowardaremy

friendstoo.Infact,Iintroducedthemtoyou.

是的那你何不以后给他们打电话邀请他们去你家做客Well,whydon'tyoucallthemand

invitethemtoyourhouse.

这就是我的家那些也是我的朋友Thisismyhouse.Thoseweremyfriends.

事实上是你在我家和我的朋友一起吃晚饭Thefactis,you'rehavingmyfriendsfordinnerin

myhouse.

是的艾伦就是这么回事Yes,Alan,thatisexactlywhat'shappening.

我说对的就是对的Well,whenI'mright,I'mright.

我先来说说我的事但不能传出去I'vegotsomethingIwannatalkabout,butit'sgottastay

inthisroom.

没什么东西会传出去的Everythingstaysintheroom.

没错犹大你打算偷偷Yeah,sure,Judas.Doesthatincludeveiledreferences...

用在你那些垃圾歌里对吧...inoneofyourwiseasssongs?

我说过了不好意思没诚意也太晚了Isaidsorryaboutthat.Toolittle,toolate.

行了不要每次我们聚在一起都要旧事重提Wehavetogothroughthiseverytimeweget

together?

事情都过去了谢谢啦It'swaterunderthebridge.Thankyou.

尽管他杀了你也不足惜因为你没在格莱美获奖致词里感谢他Itwouldn'thavekilledyouto

thankhiminyourGrammyspeech.

我本来是要说的但巴克拉赫的致词太长了ThatIwould'vedone,but,youknow,Bacharach

搞得我没时间了hejustwentonsolong.

别管那个了Well,getonwithit.

好吧我是想说Allright.HowdoIsaythis?

你们中有谁会半夜起床去上厕所吗?

Doanyofyougetupinthemiddleofthenighttopee?

去的偶尔Sure.Occasionally.

有时我根本还没起床就解决了Sometimes,Idon'tevengetup.

这就是你不想让我写进歌词的?

ThisiswhatIcan'twritesongsabout?

你厉害Oh,drat.

听着这跟尿尿无关Allright,look.It'snotaboutpeeing,perse.

是慢慢老去的问题It'saboutgettingolder.

我躺在我妻子旁边I'mlayinginbedwithmywife.

她看上去美丽性感依旧Shelooksbeautiful,sexy.

可我想要做的就是吃完爆米花去睡觉AllIwannadoisfinishmyCornPopsandgotosleep.

你在干嘛?

Whatareyoudoing?

写购物单没啥别多想Shoppinglist.Youknow,justashoppinglist.

你是说你那面老旗只能升一半了?

Soyou'resayingtheoldflag'sathalfmast?

不那面老旗很好No,theoldflagisfine.

而且如果你不介意请别用老旗来形容AndI'drathernotrefertoitasanoldflag,ifyoudon't

mind.

我要说的是是关于转换个人首要目标之类的No,mypointis,it'saboutshiftingprioritiesor

something.

老旗软了砍了Flag,drag,hag.

我会戳穿你的眼镜直插眼珠子要不要试试?

Iwillknockyourglassesthroughyoureyeballs.I

willdoit.

让我告诉你们点老话Letmetellyousomething,fellas.

不管别人怎么说你觉得自己老了就是老了Itdoesn'tmatterwhatthecalendarsays,

you'reasoldasyoufeel.

我觉得自己Me,Ifeel...

就好象...like...

煮熟的屎...boiledcrap.

大家好老天爷Hello.Oh,man.

十分抱歉他是我弟弟I'msorry,guys.It'smybrother.

你怎么回来了Weagreedyouweren'tgonnabehere.

别担心我只是回来拿我的电话本Don'tworry,Ijustneedmyphonebook.

那个不是...是的Isthat...?

Yes.

那...是的Andthat...?

Yeah.

那个Andthat?

他曾经是现在不是了Heusedtobe.Notanymore.

我不认识他HimIdon'trecognize.

他是我的赌博记簿人He'sourbookie.

你叫了赌博记簿人不叫我?

Youcanhaveyourbookie,butnotme?

赌博记簿人就象能够选择的朋友Bookies,likefriends,arechosen.

好吧十分抱歉打扰了Okay.Okay,fine.I'msorrytointerrupt.

我要我的电话本然后叫我的朋友出来IneedmyaddressbooksoIcancalloneofmyfriends.

不介意快点完事就出去Theydon'tcare.Hurryupandgetout.

"快点完事就出去"听上去象是和我前妻在做爱一样Hurryupandgetout.Soundslikesex

withmyexwife.

我不知道查理是否告诉过你们我刚和我妻子离婚Idon'tknowifCharlietoldyou,butI'm

recentlydivorced...

真是条坎坷的路啊...andit'sbeenkindofaroughroad.

你的电话本谢谢Here'syourphonebook.Thankyou.

谢谢当然其实是有迹象预示的我本该看见些征兆的Ofcourse,Iguessinhindsight,I

shouldhaveseenitcoming,but...

我数到三再见I'mgonnacounttothree.Bye.

十分抱歉我告诉我弟弟他不能参加Sorryaboutthat.He'sbentoutofshapebecauseItold

him...

因此他有点沮丧为什么不能?

...hecouldn'tbepartofthegroup.Whynot?

刚才你们没看见吗?

相信我他根本还没痊愈Youjustsawhim,didn'tyou?

Trustme,he

doesn'tgetanybetter.

其实他还认为这是个互助会Imean,heactuallythinksthisisasupportgroup.

这确实是个互助会,查理Thisisasupportgroup,Charlie.

你是唯一一个假装认为我们只是在这里抽雪茄喝老酒的人You'retheonlyonewho's

pretendingit'saboutScotchandcigars.

好吧不管是什么样的组织对于新人加入我们总有规定的吧Whateverkindofgroupitis,we

haverulesaboutnewguysjoining.

但他是你弟弟Well,buthe'syourbrother.

很显然他现在正处于困难时期He'sobviouslygoingthrougharoughtime.

你应该多多支持他的Seemslikeyoushouldbemoresupportive,pal.

是的我支持他的已经够多了Hey,Isupporthimplenty.

我收留他住给他吃的Isharemyhomewithhim.Isharemyfoodwithhim.

为了他我搬走了足球桌腾出车库来给他停车Imovedmyfoosballtablesohecouldparkin

mygarage.

你们还想我怎么样?

Whatmoredoyoupeoplewantfromme?

孩子我来和你谈谈关于分享Letmetellyousomethingaboutsharing,kid.

分享是双向的Sharingisatwowaystreet.

当你与另个人分享时Whenyousharewithanotherhumanbeing...

你得到的回报通常会更多...youalwaysgetbackmorethanyougave.

当然要假设你够机灵Assumingthatyou'resmartenoughtosharewithsomebody...

选和比你有钱的人分享...that'sgotmorestuffthanyouhadinthebeginning.

你好迪克我是艾伦你最近怎么样伙计Hey,Dick,it'sAlan.How'sitgoing,buddy?

很好很好Oh,good,good.

今晚你想不想看电影Listen.Youmaybewannacatchamovietonight?

真的吗?

你和洛斯还有茱迪丝都在一起有意思Oh,really?

YouandRozareatJudith'stoo.

Interesting.

所以除了我的房子我一半的钱和我的自尊外Soinadditiontomyhouse,halfmymoney,

andmyselfesteem...

茱迪丝还接管了我所有的朋友的"监护权"...Judithgotcustodyofallmyfriends.

不不不别让她接电话No,no,no,Idon'twannatakeitupwithher.I...

你好茱迪丝Hi,Judith.

不我没想毁了你的聚会No,no.I'mnottryingtoruinyourparty.

其实我也有自己的小聚会了Infact,I'vegotalittlepartyofmyown.

艾伦到床上来我冷Alan,comebacktobed.I'mcold.

马上来宝贝Beright