TED英语演讲我不是你们心目中的那个亚裔形象文档格式.docx
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Asyou'
veprobablyguessed,todayIamgoingtotalkaboutraceandI'
llstartoffbysharingwithyoumystoryofgrowingupAsian-American.
ImovedtotheUnitedStateswhenIwastwoyearsold,soalmostmyentirelifehasbeenablendoftwocultures.
Ieatpastawithchopsticks.I'
maddictedtoorangechicken,andmychildhoodherowasYaoMing.
ButhavinggrownupinNorthDakota,SouthDakota,andIdaho,allstateswithincrediblelittleracialdiversity,itwasdifficulttoreconcile
myso-calledexoticChineseheritagewithmymainstreamAmericanself.
UsedtobeingtheonlyAsianintheroom,Iwasself-consciousatthefirstthingpeoplenoticedaboutmewas,thatIwasn'
twhite.
AndasachildIquicklybegantorealizethatIhadtwooptionsinfrontofme.
Conformedtothestereotypethatwasexpectedofme,orconformedtothewhitenessthatsurroundedme.
Therewasnoinbetween.Forme,thismeantthatIalwaysfeltself-consciousaboutbeinggoodatmaths,becausepeoplewouldjustsayitwasbecauseIwasAsian,notbecauseIactuallyworkedhard.
Itmeantthatwheneveraboyaskedmeout,itwasbecausehehadtheyellowfever,andnotbecauseheactuallylikedme.
Itmeantthatforthelongesttime,myidentityhadformedaroundthefactthatIwasdifferent.
AndIthoughtthatbeingAsianwastheonlyspecialthingaboutme.
TheseeffectswereemphasizedbytheplaceswhereIlived.
Don'
tgetmewrong.Onlyasmallpercentageofpeoplewereactuallyracist,or,evenborderlineracist,butthevastmajoritywere
justalittlebitclueless.
Now,Iknowyouareprobablythinking,"
What'
sthedifference"
Well,hereisanexample.Notracistcansoundlike,"
I'
mwhiteandyou'
renot."
Racistcansoundlike,"
mwhite,you'
renot,andthatmakesmebetterthanyou."
Butcluelesssoundslike,"
renot,andIdon'
tknowhowtodealwiththat."
Now,Idon'
tdoubtforasecondthatthesecluelesspeoplearestillniceindividualswithgreatintentions.
Buttheydoasksomequestionsthatbecomeprettyannoyingafterawhile.
Hereareafewexamples."
You'
reChinese,ohmygoodness,
IhaveaChinesefriend,doyouknowhim"
"
No.
Idon'
tknowhim.
Becausecontrarytoyourunrealisticexpectations,Idonotknoweverysingleoneofthe1.35billionChinesepeoplewholiveonPlanetEarth."
Peoplealsotendtoask,"
Wheredoesyournamecomefrom"
andIreallydon'
tknowhowtoanswerthat,soIusuallystickwiththetruth.
Myparentsgaveittome.Wheredoesyournamecomefrom"
tevengetmestartedonhowmanytimespeoplehaveconfusedmewithadifferentAsianperson.
Onetimesomeonecameuptomeandsaid,"
Angie,Iloveyourartwork!
"
AndIwassuperconfused,soIjustthankedthemandwalkedaway.
But,outofallthequestionsmyfavoriteoneisstilltheclassic,"
Whereareyoufrom"
becauseI'
velivedinquiteafewplaces,sothisishowtheconversationusuallygoes.
Oh,IamfromBoise,Idaho."
Isee,butwhereareyoureallyfrom"
Imean,IlivedinSouthDakotaforawhile."
Okay,whataboutbeforethat"
Imean,IlivedinNorthDakota."
Okay,I'
mjustgoingtocutstraighttothechasehere,IguesswhatI'
msayingis,haveyoueverlivedanywherefarawayfromhere,wherepeopletalkalittledifferently"
Oh,Iknowwhereyoutalkingabout,yesIhave,IusedtoliveinTexas."
Bythen,theyusuallyhavejustgivenupandwondertothemselveswhyI'
mnotoneofthecoolAsianslikeJeremyLinorJackieChan,ortheyskiptheneedlessbanterandgostraightforthe,"
Whereisyourfamilyfrom"
So,justanFYIforallofyououtthere,thatisthesafeststrategy.
But,asamusingastheseinteractionswere,oftentimestheymademewanttorejectmyownculture,becauseIthoughtithelpedmeconform.
IdistancedmyselffromtheAsianstereotypeasmuchaspossible,
bydegradingmyownrace,andpretendingIhatedmath.
Andtheworsepartwas,itworked.ThemoreIrejectedmyChineseidentity,themorepopularIbecame.
Mypeerslikedmemore,becauseIwasmoresimilartothem.
Ibecamemoreconfident,becauseIknewIwasmoresimilartothem.
ButasIbecamemoreAmericanized,Ialsobegantolosebitsandpiecesofmyself,partsofmethatIcannevergetback,andnomatterhowmuchItriedtopretendthatIwasthesameasmyAmericanclassmates,Iwasn'
t.
BecauseforpeoplewhohavelivedintheplaceswhereIlived,
whiteisthenorm,andforme,whitebecamethenormtoo.
Formyfourteenthbirthday,IreceivedthevideogameTheSims3,whichletsyoucreateyourowncharactersandcontroltheirlives.
Myfourteen-year-oldselfcreatedtheperfectlittlemainstreamfamily,completewithahugemansionandanenormousswimmingpool.
Ibinge-playedthegameforaboutthreemonths,thenputitawayandneverreallythoughtaboutitagain,untilafewweeksago,whenIcametoasuddenrealization.
Thefamily,thatIhadcustom-designed,waswhite.ThecharacterthatIhaddesignedformyself,waswhite.EveryoneIhaddesignedwaswhite.
Andtheworstpartwas,thiswasbynomeansaconsciousdecisionthatIhadmade.
NeveroncedidIthinktomyselfthatIcouldactuallymakethecharacterslooklikeme.
Withouteventhinking,whitehadbecomemynormtoo.
Thetruthis,AsianAmericansplayastrangeroleintheAmericanmeltingpot.
Wearethemodelminority.Societyusesoursuccesstopitusagainstotherpeopleofcolorasjustificationthatracismdoesn'
texist.
Butwasdoesthatmeanforus,AsianAmericans
Itmeansthatwearenotquitesimilarenoughtobeaccepted,butwearen'
tdifferentenoughtobeloathed.
Weareinaperpetuallygreyzone,andsocietyisn'
tquitesure
whattodowithus.Sotheygroupusbythecolorofourskin.
Theytellusthatwemustrejectourownheritages,sowecanfitinwiththecrowd.Theytellusthatourforeignnessistheonlyidentifyingcharacteristicofus.
Theystripawayouridentitiesonebyone,untilweareforeign,
butnotquiteforeign,AmericanbutnotquiteAmerican,individual,butonlywhentherearenootherpeoplefromournativecountryaround.
IwishthatIhadalwayshadthecouragetospeakoutabouttheseissues.
Butcomingfromoneculturethatavoidsconfrontation,andanotherthatisdividedoverrace,howdoIovercomethepressuretokeepthepeace,whilealsostayingtruetowhoIam
AndasmuchasIhatetoadmitit,oftentimesIdon'
tspeakout,because,ifIdo,it'
satthetheriskofbeingtoldthatIamtoosensitive,orthatIgetoffendedtooeasily,orthatit'
sjustnotworthit.
ButIwouldpoint,arepeoplewillingtoadmitthat
Yes,raceissuesarecontroversial.
Butthat'
spreciselythereasonwhyweneedtotalkaboutthem.
Ijustturnedeighteen,andtherearestillsomanythingsthatIdon'
tknowabouttheworld.
ButwhatIdoknowisthatit'
shardtoadmitthatyoumightbepartoftheproblem,that,allofusmightbepartoftheproblem.
So,insteadofgivingyouastep-by-stepguideonhowtonotberacisttowardsAsians,Iwillletyoudecidewhattotakefromthistalk.
AllIcando,issharemystory.MynameisCanwen,myfavoritecolorispurple.
AndIplaythepiano,butnotsomuchtheviolin.
Ihavetwoincrediblysupportive,hardworkingparents,andoneveryawesometen-year-oldbrother.Ilovecalculusmorethananything,despiseeatingrice,andI'
mahorrendousdriver.
Butmostofall,IamproudofwhoIam.AlittlebitAmerican,alittlebitChinese,andawholelotofboth.
Thankyou.