TED英语演讲我不是你们心目中的那个亚裔形象文档格式.docx

TED英语演讲我不是你们心目中的那个亚裔形象文档格式.docx

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Asyou'

veprobablyguessed,todayIamgoingtotalkaboutraceandI'

llstartoffbysharingwithyoumystoryofgrowingupAsian-American.

ImovedtotheUnitedStateswhenIwastwoyearsold,soalmostmyentirelifehasbeenablendoftwocultures.

Ieatpastawithchopsticks.I'

maddictedtoorangechicken,andmychildhoodherowasYaoMing.

ButhavinggrownupinNorthDakota,SouthDakota,andIdaho,allstateswithincrediblelittleracialdiversity,itwasdifficulttoreconcile

myso-calledexoticChineseheritagewithmymainstreamAmericanself.

UsedtobeingtheonlyAsianintheroom,Iwasself-consciousatthefirstthingpeoplenoticedaboutmewas,thatIwasn'

twhite.

AndasachildIquicklybegantorealizethatIhadtwooptionsinfrontofme.

Conformedtothestereotypethatwasexpectedofme,orconformedtothewhitenessthatsurroundedme.

Therewasnoinbetween.Forme,thismeantthatIalwaysfeltself-consciousaboutbeinggoodatmaths,becausepeoplewouldjustsayitwasbecauseIwasAsian,notbecauseIactuallyworkedhard.

Itmeantthatwheneveraboyaskedmeout,itwasbecausehehadtheyellowfever,andnotbecauseheactuallylikedme.

Itmeantthatforthelongesttime，myidentityhadformedaroundthefactthatIwasdifferent.

AndIthoughtthatbeingAsianwastheonlyspecialthingaboutme.

TheseeffectswereemphasizedbytheplaceswhereIlived.

Don'

tgetmewrong.Onlyasmallpercentageofpeoplewereactuallyracist,or,evenborderlineracist,butthevastmajoritywere

justalittlebitclueless.

Now,Iknowyouareprobablythinking,"

What'

sthedifference"

Well,hereisanexample.Notracistcansoundlike,"

I'

mwhiteandyou'

renot."

Racistcansoundlike,"

mwhite,you'

renot,andthatmakesmebetterthanyou."

Butcluelesssoundslike,"

renot,andIdon'

tknowhowtodealwiththat."

Now,Idon'

tdoubtforasecondthatthesecluelesspeoplearestillniceindividualswithgreatintentions.

Buttheydoasksomequestionsthatbecomeprettyannoyingafterawhile.

Hereareafewexamples."

You'

reChinese,ohmygoodness,

IhaveaChinesefriend,doyouknowhim"

"

No.

Idon'

tknowhim.

Becausecontrarytoyourunrealisticexpectations,Idonotknoweverysingleoneofthe1.35billionChinesepeoplewholiveonPlanetEarth."

Peoplealsotendtoask,"

Wheredoesyournamecomefrom"

andIreallydon'

tknowhowtoanswerthat,soIusuallystickwiththetruth.

Myparentsgaveittome.Wheredoesyournamecomefrom"

tevengetmestartedonhowmanytimespeoplehaveconfusedmewithadifferentAsianperson.

Onetimesomeonecameuptomeandsaid,"

Angie,Iloveyourartwork!

"

AndIwassuperconfused,soIjustthankedthemandwalkedaway.

But,outofallthequestionsmyfavoriteoneisstilltheclassic,"

Whereareyoufrom"

becauseI'

velivedinquiteafewplaces,sothisishowtheconversationusuallygoes.

Oh,IamfromBoise,Idaho."

Isee,butwhereareyoureallyfrom"

Imean,IlivedinSouthDakotaforawhile."

Okay,whataboutbeforethat"

Imean,IlivedinNorthDakota."

Okay,I'

mjustgoingtocutstraighttothechasehere,IguesswhatI'

msayingis,haveyoueverlivedanywherefarawayfromhere,wherepeopletalkalittledifferently"

Oh,Iknowwhereyoutalkingabout,yesIhave,IusedtoliveinTexas."

Bythen,theyusuallyhavejustgivenupandwondertothemselveswhyI'

mnotoneofthecoolAsianslikeJeremyLinorJackieChan,ortheyskiptheneedlessbanterandgostraightforthe,"

Whereisyourfamilyfrom"

So,justanFYIforallofyououtthere,thatisthesafeststrategy.

But,asamusingastheseinteractionswere,oftentimestheymademewanttorejectmyownculture,becauseIthoughtithelpedmeconform.

IdistancedmyselffromtheAsianstereotypeasmuchaspossible,

bydegradingmyownrace,andpretendingIhatedmath.

Andtheworsepartwas,itworked.ThemoreIrejectedmyChineseidentity,themorepopularIbecame.

Mypeerslikedmemore,becauseIwasmoresimilartothem.

Ibecamemoreconfident,becauseIknewIwasmoresimilartothem.

ButasIbecamemoreAmericanized,Ialsobegantolosebitsandpiecesofmyself,partsofmethatIcannevergetback,andnomatterhowmuchItriedtopretendthatIwasthesameasmyAmericanclassmates,Iwasn'

t.

BecauseforpeoplewhohavelivedintheplaceswhereIlived,

whiteisthenorm,andforme,whitebecamethenormtoo.

Formyfourteenthbirthday,IreceivedthevideogameTheSims3,whichletsyoucreateyourowncharactersandcontroltheirlives.

Myfourteen-year-oldselfcreatedtheperfectlittlemainstreamfamily,completewithahugemansionandanenormousswimmingpool.

Ibinge-playedthegameforaboutthreemonths,thenputitawayandneverreallythoughtaboutitagain,untilafewweeksago,whenIcametoasuddenrealization.

Thefamily,thatIhadcustom-designed,waswhite.ThecharacterthatIhaddesignedformyself,waswhite.EveryoneIhaddesignedwaswhite.

Andtheworstpartwas,thiswasbynomeansaconsciousdecisionthatIhadmade.

NeveroncedidIthinktomyselfthatIcouldactuallymakethecharacterslooklikeme.

Withouteventhinking,whitehadbecomemynormtoo.

Thetruthis,AsianAmericansplayastrangeroleintheAmericanmeltingpot.

Wearethemodelminority.Societyusesoursuccesstopitusagainstotherpeopleofcolorasjustificationthatracismdoesn'

texist.

Butwasdoesthatmeanforus,AsianAmericans

Itmeansthatwearenotquitesimilarenoughtobeaccepted,butwearen'

tdifferentenoughtobeloathed.

Weareinaperpetuallygreyzone,andsocietyisn'

tquitesure

whattodowithus.Sotheygroupusbythecolorofourskin.

Theytellusthatwemustrejectourownheritages,sowecanfitinwiththecrowd.Theytellusthatourforeignnessistheonlyidentifyingcharacteristicofus.

Theystripawayouridentitiesonebyone,untilweareforeign,

butnotquiteforeign,AmericanbutnotquiteAmerican,individual,butonlywhentherearenootherpeoplefromournativecountryaround.

IwishthatIhadalwayshadthecouragetospeakoutabouttheseissues.

Butcomingfromoneculturethatavoidsconfrontation,andanotherthatisdividedoverrace,howdoIovercomethepressuretokeepthepeace,whilealsostayingtruetowhoIam

AndasmuchasIhatetoadmitit,oftentimesIdon'

tspeakout,because,ifIdo,it'

satthetheriskofbeingtoldthatIamtoosensitive,orthatIgetoffendedtooeasily,orthatit'

sjustnotworthit.

ButIwouldpoint,arepeoplewillingtoadmitthat

Yes,raceissuesarecontroversial.

Butthat'

spreciselythereasonwhyweneedtotalkaboutthem.

Ijustturnedeighteen,andtherearestillsomanythingsthatIdon'

tknowabouttheworld.

ButwhatIdoknowisthatit'

shardtoadmitthatyoumightbepartoftheproblem,that,allofusmightbepartoftheproblem.

So,insteadofgivingyouastep-by-stepguideonhowtonotberacisttowardsAsians,Iwillletyoudecidewhattotakefromthistalk.

AllIcando,issharemystory.MynameisCanwen,myfavoritecolorispurple.

AndIplaythepiano,butnotsomuchtheviolin.

Ihavetwoincrediblysupportive,hardworkingparents,andoneveryawesometen-year-oldbrother.Ilovecalculusmorethananything,despiseeatingrice,andI'

mahorrendousdriver.

Butmostofall,IamproudofwhoIam.AlittlebitAmerican,alittlebitChinese,andawholelotofboth.

Thankyou.