TED英语演讲 如何成为一个自信的人Word文档格式.docx

TED英语演讲 如何成为一个自信的人Word文档格式.docx

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自信是一种技能，是能够培育出来的。

1、重复重复再重复。

当你的技能通过不断刻意练习而变得炉火纯青之后，就容易获得自信。

在反复练习的过程中，你遇到的困难是如何在失败后不气馁，如何在平台期时不急躁。

实力是自信的资本。

对于自己做得好的事情，我们往往会更有自信。

所以，努力提高自己的实力会让自己更自信。

2、自我鼓励。

在和自己对话的时候用积极正面的想法替换掉之前消极的想法。

已经有太多人认为我们做不到，认为我们不够好了，我们自己也要那么想呢?

要相信我是自己生活的主宰。

如果自己都不相信，又会有谁相信呢?

3、远离那些会拖你后腿的人。

或许我们身边总是不乏这样的人，在我们追逐梦想的时候，总是冷嘲热讽。

我们需要坚持梦想，不去听那些人的声音，等你爬的更高，那些声音也就听不到了。

我们要多和志同道合、可以互相鼓励的人在一起。

4、给自己写自夸信，记录生命中辉煌的时刻。

写下自己的成就，当你意志消沉的时候就拿出来看看，就会发现其实自己也挺厉害的呢。

5、改变自己的解读方式。

多做正面、积极的解读。

如何帮助别人建立自信：

恰当地夸赞别人做得好的地方，把注意力放在别人的优点上面。

Inmypastlifeasasoercoach,onyouwonanationalchampionship,everyonewantstoeplayforyou.

Reallynottrue.Onyoupaidthem$25,000ayearinscholarships,everybodywantstoeplayforyou.Andparentswouldalwaysetomeandthey’dsay:

“Okay,mysonormydaughterwantstoeplayatyouruniversity,whatisitthatwehavetodo?

Youknow,whatareyoulookingfor?

”

AndbeingtheSocraticprofessorthatIam,Isay,well,whatdoesyoursonordaughterdo?

Whatdotheydoreallywellthatwe’dbeinterestedin?

Andtypicallytheiranswersare,well,they’vegotgreatvision.They’rereallygood.Theycanseetheentirefield.Or,mydaughteristhefastestplayer,there’snobodythatcanbeather.Or,myson’sgotagreatleft-footer.Reallygreatintheairandcanhiteveryball.

I’mlike:

“Yeah,notbad;

buttobequitehonestwithyou,thosearethelastthingsI’mlookingfor.Themostimportantthing?

Self-confiden.”Withoutthatskill,andIusethewordskillintentionally,withoutthatskill,weareuselessasasoerplayer.Becausewhenyoulosesightorbeliefinyourself,we’redonefor.

Iusethedefinitionofself-confidentobetheabilityorthebelieftobelieveinyourself,toaomplishanytask,nottertheodds,notterthedifficulty,nottertheadversity.Thebeliefthatyoucanaomplishit–self-confiden.

Someofyouaresaying,“Great,Idon’thaveit.I’msoshy.I’llneverdothat,bla,bla,bla.”Andyoustarttodragallthewaydownhere.But,IusethewordskillbecauseIbelieveitcanbetrained.AndI’llshowyouacoupleofwaysinwhichwedo.HopefullyIwon’trunoutoftime.Idon’tuseanyslidesbecausemyspeechalwaysgoeshere,orhere,orhere.Sowe’llseewhichwaywegetto.

Theeasiestwaytobuildself-confiden:

there’snogicbutton.Ican’tsay:

“Hey,thisplaneisgoingdown,whocanfly?

Putyourhandup.”“Ican,I’mconfident!

Repetition,repetition,repetition.Right?

WhatdoesMalGladwellcallit,the10,000-hourrule?

There’snogicbutton.

IrecruitedagoaliefromColombia,SouthAmericaoneyear.Big,tall6’3″n.Youknow,hehadhandslikestone.IthoughthewaslikeFlipper.EverytimeIthrewhimtheball,down,ontotheground.Iwaslike,ohmygod,we’reintrouble.

Simplesolution:

gettothewall,kickaballagainstthewallandcatchit.Kicktheballagainstthewallandcatchit.Hisgoalwas350adayforeightmonths.Hecameback,hishandswerecalloused,themoistureonhishandswereliterallygone,heisnowplayinginEurope.Magic?

No.

Repetition,repetition,repetition.Theproblemis,weexpecttobeself-confidentbutwecan’tbeunlesstheskill,orthetaskwe’redoing,isnotnovel,isnotnewtous.WewanttobeinasituationwherewehavesomuchpressureinthatandwhatImean,becausepressurebuildsdiamonds,wewanttobeinasituationwhere“Hey,I’vedonethisathousandtimes”.

Ididmyspeech,andIpractidinfrontofamirror:

bla,bla,bla,bla,bla,bla.HeyI’msoundinggood.AndthenIwentinfrontofmykids,andmywife.Isaid,ohgosh,Igotalittlenervous.

ThenI’dgetinfrontofGlennGould,Ohmygoodness,Iamalittlemorenervous!

BythetimeIgettotheACG,where2,500people,can’tsayanymore,right?

Twenty-fivehundredpeople,wheretwenty-fivehundredpeoplearethere,Iwon’thaveasingleounofnervousnessbecauseofmyabilitytopracti.Right?

Over,andover,andover,again.

Theproblemwithrepetitionis:

hownyofusbailafterthefirstbitoffailure?

Hownyofusbailafterthefirstbitofadversity?

Edisonwasonthatvideo,anditdependswhoyouask,there’sanywherefrom1,000to10,000triestobuildthatlightbulb.1,000to10,000.

J.KRowlingshouldbeonthatvideo.DoyouknowhownypublishersshetookherHarryPotterbookto?

Ibelievethenumberwas12or13…Iamprettyconfidentbutaftertwoorthreeno’sI’dbelike:

“damnit!

”.

Aftersixorseven,I’mlike:

“ybenot!

”Definitelyafternineorten,I’dbelookingtobeasoercoachorsomethingelsebesidesanauthor.Right?

Imean,twelvetimessomebodysaidno.But,practi,practi,practi,anddonotaeptfailure.

Maybeitshouldn’tberepetition,ybetheanswershouldbepersisten.Becauseweallrepeatsomethingbutveryfewofusreallywillpersist.Sothat’sonewaytobuildself-confiden.

Getoutthere.Dowhatyouwanttodoanddonotaeptno.Theotheroneisself-talk.Weallhaveaself-talktapethatplaysinourhead.Anybodygoshoppingandputonapairofpantsthisweek?

Ifyou’reawon,thefirstthingthatalwayses:

“DamnIlookfatinthesepants!

.”

Andifyou’rean,it’stheopposite:

“Ohgod,Igotnomuscle,I’msoflabby!

”Right?

Weallhavethistapethatplaysinourhead.Asastudent,iftheyaskedmethequestion,itwaslike:

“Oh,geepleaseprofessordon’tpickme,Idon’tknowtheanswer.”I’dlookdown.Right?

Ifyou’reintheb…whenI,letmeyousomething,andtheVPofbusinessadminishere,Ishouldn’trepeatthis,butwhentheyhiredmeasanathleticsdirector,Isatinanarchitect’smeeting,andIamasdumbasapostwhenitestoanythingtodowithnumbersandangles.

Andtheyarelike:

thefundibulatorvalveofthearchitectural,uh,whatdoyouthinkdoctorJoseph?

Uh,letmelookintothatforyouandgetbacktoyou.Right?

Iwasina,ohgodgod,pleasedon’taskme,pleasedon’taskme.Weallhavethisnegativeself-talkthatgoesinourhead.

Guesswhat?

There’senoughpeoplethatareinguswecan’tdoit.Thatwe’renotgoodenough.Whydowewanttoourselvesthat?

Weknowforafactthatthoughtsinfluenactions.WesawittherewiththevideoSheldon,Dr.Levyshowed.

Weknowthatourthoughtsinfluenactions,whydowewanttosaythatnegativeself-talktoourselves?

Weneedtogetourownself-affirtions.MuhamdAli,whatwashisself-affirtion?

Iamthegreatest!

Whoelseisgoingtoyou?

Thereneedtobequietmomentsinyourbedroom,quietmomentswhenyou’rebrushingyourteeth.Thatweneedtoreaffirm:

“Iamthecaptainofmyshipandthesterofmyfate!

”Thatismyaffirtion.

Icamefromaschoolofonethousandpeople,Ilivedinatownofonethousandpeopleforfifteenyears;

there’snoreasonthatIshouldbeinchargeofanAthleticsdepartment,buildingpleleafgardens.ButIamthecaptainofmyshipandthesterofmyfate.

IfIdon’tsayit,ifIdon’tbelieveit,nooneelsewill.Howdoyoubuildself-confiden?

Getawayfromthepeoplewhowilltearyoudown.There’senoughofthat.

MuhamdAli,Iamthegreatest!

Thereisnoonebetterthanme.There’sadifferenbetweenhubris,andego,andfalsepride.It’sjustremindingyourselfinquietsilentmoments,Iputitdownonalist,it’srightbesidemymirror,right?

aboutallthethingsthatkemewhoIam.

BecauseIkeenoughmistakes,andthenewspaperswillrecognizeit,andpeoplearoundmewillrecognizeit;

andthey’lltearmedown,andprettysoonI’llbegintobelieveit.

Therewasatimewhenmyconfidenwasreallylow.TherewasatimewhenItookthisjobwhenIcamefromIowa,Idon’tknowifIcoulddoit.Ihadtobringoutmyself-confidenletter.AletterIwrotetomyselfwhenIwasfeelinggood.Ivan,congratulationsongettingyourPhDbefore40.Congra…Iam40,under.Congratulationsonwinninganationalchampionship.Goodjobonraisingthreegoodkidsandrryingtherightwon.

Iwrotealettertomyself,itwasmyownbragsheet.MyownletteraboutthethingsIwasproudof.Becausetherearemoments,andwe’llallexperientheminourcareer,inourlives,inourjobhunting,inourrelationships;

whenwearenotfeelinggoodaboutwho,andwhat,andwhereweare.

AndIhadtobringoutthatletterandreadittimeandtimeagain,foraperiodofabouttwoweeks,toweathermethroughthatstorm.Itwasimportant.Stopthenegativeself-talk.Ifyouwatchyou’llseesomeathletesthathavealittlebandage,oralittlebrandaroundthem.

LanArmstrongisaperfectone.What’shisself-affirtion?

Livestrongisn’tabrand,itwastoremindhimofwhohewas.Livestrong.Thenitbecameabrand.Hewouldmovethatfromonearmtothenextarm,whendoubtandfearcameintohismind.Livestrong,putitonthere,let’sgo.We’llallhaveit,weplait.

Twowaystobuildself-confiden.I’mworriedaboutmytime,I’mgoingtoyouofonewayyoucanbuildself-confideninothers.Wearecoachesandeducators,weareteachers,wearepeoplewhowillcreatevalueintheworld;

andindoingthat,wearecriticalbythenatureofwhatwedo.

Iamacoach,Iwantyoutoscoreagoal.Theballwentoverhigh.“Dangit!

”Theballwenthigh!

“Thankyoucoach,Iknowthat.Feedbacksmethat.”Sowhatdowedo?

Ineedyoutoputyourelbowhere,Ineedyoutoputyourkneeovertheball,Ineedyoutofollowthrough.Boom.Land.Great.

Noti,Ineverdeitasaprofessional.Whatcanwedo?

Wefixmistakes.WhenI’mfixingthatmistake:

“Johnny,thisisterrible,youneedtobendyourknee,youneedtodothis,this.”