Chapter 10The Path of least resistanceWord格式文档下载.docx

Chapter 10The Path of least resistanceWord格式文档下载.docx

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“Don’tyouthinkzombiesknowthatarezombie?

”heansweredwithgreatsincerity.

Hiswiferealizedshewasnotgettinganywhere,soshecalledhismotherandtoldherwhatwasgoingon.Hismothertriedtohelp.

“Iamyourmother,wouldn’tIknowifIgavebirthtoazombie?

”

“Youdidn’t,”heexplained,“Ibecameazombielater.”

“Ididn’traisemysontobeazombie,orespeciallytothinkheisazombie,”hismotherpleaded.

“Nonetheless,Iamazombie,”hesaid,unmovedbyhismother’sappealtohisidentityandsenseofguilt.

Laterthatdayhiswifecalledintheirministertotalktoherhusband.

“Youarenotazombie,youareprobablygoingthroughamidlifecrisis,”theministersaid,tryingtobethepsychologisthealwayswantedtobe.

“Zombiedon’thavemiddlecrisis,”wasallthemanreplied.

Theministerrecommendedapsychiatrist.Thewifegotanemergencyappointment,andwithinthehourthehusbandwasinthepsychiatrist’soffice.

“So,youthinkyouareazombie?

”thepsychiatristasked.

“IknowIamazombie,”themansaid.

“Tellme,dozombiesbleed?

“Ofcoursenot,”saidtheman,“Zombiesarethelivingdead.Theydon’tbleed.”Themanwasalittleannoyedatthepsychiatrist’spatronizingquestion.

“Well,watchthis,”saidthepsychiatristashepickedupapin.Hetooktheman’sfingerandmadeatinypinprick.Themanlookedathisfingerwithgreatamazementandsaidnothingforthreeorfourminutes.

“Whatdoyouknow,”themanfinallysaid,“zombiesdobleed!

Thereoncealionwhocameuponamonkey.Thelionthoughtthiswasagoodchancetoconformhispositionofprominenceinthejungle.

“Hey,monkey!

”theliongrowled.

“Yes,sire,”themonkeyansweredinashakyvoice.

“Whoisthekingofthejungle?

!

”theliongrowledevenlouder.

“Why,youare,sire,youare!

“Anddon’tyouforgetit!

”thelionsaid,verypleasedwithhimself.

Alittlelaterthelioncameuponazebra.

“Heyyou…zebra!

”thelionroared.

“Yes,sire,”thezebraansweredinanasalvoice.

“Who’sthekingofthejungle?

”thelionroaredsomemore.

“Youare,sire,youare!

”thezebrasaidwithatimidandforcedenthusiasm.

Alittlelaterthelioncameuponanelephant.“Heyyou,elephant!

Who’sthekingofthejungle?

”thelionroaredandgrowledwithhismostferociousroarandgrowl.

Withoutsayingaword,theelephantpickedupthelionwithhistrunkandthrewthelionagainstatree.Thenhewalkedovertothelionandsteppedonhistail.Thentheelephantpickedupagainandslammedhimdownontheground.

Astheelephantwalkedaway,thebatteredlionliftedhisheadandyelled,“Hey,don’tgetmadjustbecauseyoudon’tknowtheanswer!

Somepeoplehavealotoftroublewithreality.Itseemsasifitshouldbesimpleenough:

Seetheobvious.Butaschildrenwehaveallhadtheexperienceofsayingsomethingthatwasundeniablyaccurate,onlytobeshushedupbyanadult.

“Grandma’shousehasafunnysmell.”

“Quiet.Don’tsaythat!

”

Childrenlearntoliebecausethatisoneoftheironlydefensesagainstauthority,whoareoftenmanytimestheirsizeandweight.

“Wereyouinmycloset?

“Uh,no.”

“Thenwhyisyourgumwrapperinmycloset?

“Uh,er…Idon’tknow.”

“Didyoudoyourhomework?

“Uh,yesIdidit,butIleftitonthebus.”

“Thisisthethirdtimethisweekyoudidn’thaveyourhomework,andyoualwayshavesomeflimsyexcuse.”

“Uh…well,alotofweirdthingshappentomyhomework.Ican’thelpit.”

“Whattimedidyougetinlastnight?

“Nottoolate.”

“Well,Ihappentoknowitwastwo-thirtyinthemorning!

“Gee,itdidn’tseemthatlate.Anyway,wehadaflattire.Andifyouknewwhattimeitwas,whydidyouaskme?

“Iwasjustwonderingifyouknew!

“Well,I…ah…didn’tthinkitwasthatlate…becausemywatchbroke.”

“Letmeseeyourwatch.”

“I,ah…can’tfindit.”

“Whatisthatonyourwrist?

“Oh…that’sa…differentwatch.”

Andasadults:

“Doyouknowhowfastyouweredriving?

“No,wasIfasterthanthespeedlimit?

“Theradarclockedyouatseventy-five.”

“Really,itdidn’tseemthatfast.Maybemyspeedometerisbroken.”

GiveMeaGoodReason

Notdescribingrealityaccuratelyoftenbecomesself-propaganda.Youmaybelateforanappointmentandonyourwayoverthinkupthemostplausibleexcuse.Bythetimeyouarrivenotonlyareyoureadytoreciteit,butyoualmostbelieveityourself.Avoidingdescribingrealityaccuratelyisoftenastrategytoovercomethenegativeconsequencesofyouractions.

Oursocietyputsahighpremiumonreasonandexcuses.Mostpeoplelearnthatiftheyhaveagoodreasonfornotsucceeding,theycansometimesavoidnegativeconsequences.

Manypeoplemisrepresentrealitythoughasmokescreenofplausible-soundingreasonsthataredesignedtodistractthemselvesandothersfromthetruth.

Somepeoplelearnthatothersputlesspressureonthemwhentheyaresick.Sotheyoftengetsicktohavealegitimateexcusenottoliveuptoexpectations.

Somepeopleusebeinginastateofemotionalupheavalasanexcuse:

“IfI’mupset,donotasktoberesponsible.”

Beinga“victimofcircumstances”isacommonreasonsomepeopleusetoexplaintheiractions.“Look,ItriedtobeatSara’sbirthdayparty,butmybosscalledjustasIwasleavingthehouse.Youknowhowmuchhelovestotalk.SoIwasstuckonthephonewithhim.Whatdoyouwantmetodo,losemyjob?

ThedefenseofDanWhite,whoshotSanFranciscocouncilmanHarveyMilkandMayorGeorgeMoscone,wasthathisbloodsugarwasoffthatday.Thisbecameknownasthe“Twinkie”defense.Thedefensewastakenseriously.Whitegotoffwithalightsentence.

Asocietythatfostersreasonsandexcusesforirresponsibleofdestructivebehaviorhaslittlechanceofreachingitspotentialgreatness.Sincethetraditionoftheartsdoeshaveastandardofreachingforwhatishighestinhumanity,areexcusesseenasvalidorneeded?

The“Ihadagoodreason”excuseisseldomfoundintheartsasanattempttoexplainabadperformance,abadfilm,abadpainting,abadrecord,abadplay,abadnovel,orabadpoem.

Somepeopleseemtoenjoyconcoctingadramaticexplanationforwhytheycan’thavewhattheywant.Theloveofreasonsforwhyyou“can’t”cansupersedethepursuitofwhatyouwant.

Reasons

Sometimesknowingthereasonsforfailurecanhelpyouadjusttheactionsyoutaketoshapeyourfinalcreation.Butthisisquitedifferentfromusingreasonstojustifyfailure.Discoveringtheeffectoftheactionsyoutakeisdesignedtobealearningexperience,ratherthanajustificationfornotsucceeding.

Forexample,itisimportanttoknowthecauseoftheexplosionoftheChallengerspaceshuttlethatcostthelivesofthecrew.Knowinghasatleasttwofunctions.Oneistocorrecttheerrorinthefuture,toenablethosewhonextventureintospacetobeassafeaswecanpossiblymanage.

Knowingwhathappenedalsohelpseasethepainsometimesevokedbyreality.Itishardtoacceptthatthoseveryspecialpeople,thecrewoftheChallenger,aregonefromourmidst,especiallysincejustmomentsbeforetheexplosiontheywerewavingtousonnetworktelevision.Itishardtowitnesssomeofthebestofourgenerationtakensoquicklyandsodramatically.

Whenwehaveanexplanation,ithelpsustoacceptthetruth-thattheyaregone,thatwewillnotseethemagaininthislife,thatthefullpromiseofwhattheirlivescouldhavebeeninthefutureisnowimpossible.

Itiscommonforpeopletofillthemselveswithdetailswhentheylosealovedone.Whatdidhedoinhislastdays?

Whatdidhedoorsayinhislasthours?

Whowaswithhimwhenhedied?

Whatwasthemedicalexplanationforthedeath?

Wasthereanythingthatcouldhavesavedhim?

Whatrealdifferencedotheanswerstothesequestionsmake?

Noneinreality.Noamountofdetailaboutthecircumstancesofsomeone’sdeathbringsthatpersonback.Thenwhatisthepurposeofwantingtoknow?

Knowingthedetailof“howithappened”helpsyoulearnarealitythatishardtoaccept.Theperiodofgrievingisatimetoteachyourselftherealitythatsomeoneorsomethingisgone.Oftenpeoplewhoaregrievingoverthedeathofalovedoneexperiencephasesofemotionalupheaval,followedbyphasesofresolutionandpeace.Then,asiffromnowhere,theiremotionalupheavalbeginsagain.Eachtimethishappens,thegrievingpersonconfrontsadifferentaspectoftherealityofloss.

Untilheorsheacceptsallofreality,thegrievingpersonisnotabletomoveonfullyinlife.Thatpersoncanbecomefixatedonthepast,tryingtoholdontothetimewhenhisorherlovedonewasstillalive.

Whenmyfatherdied,mymotherwasnotabletoaccepttherealitythathewasgone.Shelefthisbelongingsexactlyastheywereonthedayhedied.Shewouldnotletanyonemoveorchangehiscloset,dresser,ornighttable.Shekepttheworkbenchatwhichmyfatherpracticedhishobbyofmakingstainedglassjustasitwasonthedayhedied.Ithinkshethoughtthatshewasbeingtruetohimbypreservingtheseobjectsjustashehadthem.Asif,somehow,thatwouldbringhimback.

Herfamilyandfriendstriedtohelpherthroughhergrief,butshewasinconsolable.Shetriedtokeepmyfatheraliveinhermind,and