英汉翻译评析答案.docx

英汉翻译评析答案.docx

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英汉翻译评析答案

CommentariesontheVersionof“一个女人是这样衰老的”

一个女人是这样衰老的

SV：

HowaWomanAges/AWoman’sAging/AWomanFadesThus/WhatcausesaWomantoGrowOld/TheWayinWhichawomanisAging/HowaWomanGetsOld

RV:

TheWayWomanWithers

点评：

RhetoricalDevice:

distillationandaesthetichightlightsoflanguage,eitherChineseorEnglish/Thesuccessfulemploymentofalliteration（头韵）

1．二十岁的时候，我穿着一条背心式牛仔裙在校园里走来走去，一说话就脸红。

三十岁的我穿着名牌套装，坐在办公桌前，满脸冷酷地对下属说：

“这么愚蠢的问题你也敢问？

也不先打个草稿。

”

SV:

Attheageoftwenty,Iwalkedaboutonthecampus,wearingavestlikejeanskirt.MyfacewouldturnredwheneverIspeak.AfterIhaveturnedthirty,Iamseatedinfrontofabureau,inasuitoffamousbrand,reproachingasubordinatecoldly“Howdareyouasksuchastupidquestion?

Whydidn’tyoumakeadraftfirst?

”

RV:

Attheageoftwenty,wearingajeansjumper,Imovedaboutonthecampus,myfaceblushingthemomentIhadtheinclinationtomakeanutterance.Attheageofthirty,I,wearingafamous-brandsuitandacoldlook,reproachmysubordinatebluntly,“Howcanyougosofarastoraisesuchasilly,mindlessquestion?

”

点评：

Zeugma（轭式修饰法）：

afigureofspeechinwhichasingleword,usuallyaverboradjective,issyntacticallyrelatedtotwoormorewords,thoughhavingadifferentsenseinrelationtoeach.Moreexamples:

Thesenatorpickeduphishatandhiscourage/Shepossessedtwofalseteethandasympatheticheart/Helostthegameandhistemper.

2．二十岁的时候，从图书馆借的是《莎士比亚全集》、《一个青年艺术家的自画像》和《尤里西斯》。

三十岁之后，床头摆的是《跟庄密笈》、《ELLE》和《经理人的个人魅力》.

SV:

Attheageoftwenty,TheCollectedWorksofShakespeare,ThePortraitofanArtistasaYoungMan,andUlysseswereborrowedfromthelibrary.Afterthirty,StrategyofSpeculationonStocks,ELLEandManager’sPersonalCharmwereputonthebedside.

RV:

Attheageoftwenty,IborrowedbooksfromthelibrarylikeShakespeare’sCompleteWorks,APortraitoftheArtistasaYoungMan,Ulysses.Afterthirty,onmybedside,liesuchbooksandmagazinesasTheRecipeonStocks,ElleandManager’sCharm.

点评：

Syntactically（依照句法地）,aestheticvaluegoestoEng-WeightnessinEnglish,whichisnotthecasewithChinese.Forexample:

GonearethedayswhenIwasyoung.VS.ThedayswhenIwasyoungaregone.

Wordcamethatbribery行贿hassenthimtoprison.VS.Wordthatbriberyhassenthimtoprisoncame.

3．二十岁的暑假，在家乡的大街上偶遇自己的暗恋对象，听说他考上了研究生，被他的进步所打击，心如刀绞，想到这辈子终于不能出色得让他看我一眼，不禁怅然泪下。

三十岁之后，到处打听那里可以花钱买个MBA.

SV:

At20,duringasummerholidayIencounteredmybelovedoneonthestreetofmyhometown.Iheardhewasadmittedtobeagraduate.Iwasstruckbyhisadvance.Icouldn’thelpsheddingtearsinmyextremegrief.IthoughtthatforthislifeIcouldneverachievemuchtolethimseemeinanewlight.After30,IinquireeverywherewheretopurchaseanMBAcertificate.

RV:

Attheageoftwenty,IranintotheyoungmanwhomIlovedinprivateinthestreetofmyhometown.Uponhearingthathehadbeenenrolledasagraduate,IwasvirtuallydealtaheavyblowbelievingreluctantlysopainfulafactthatIcouldneverdowellenoughtowinhisfavor,bittertearsstreamingdownmycheeks.Afterthirty,Ibusymyselfhereandthere,inquiringwhereIcouldbyanMBAdiploma.

点评：

Aesthetically（审美地）speaking,Englishappreciatessentencepossessingashortmainclause,withmanywords,phrasesandclausesattachedtoit,somethinglikeaclusterofgrapes,whileChinesefavorssentencestructureresemblingbamboo,onsegmentafteranother.

4．二十岁的时候，随时随地向人透露我的年龄，答得比问的还快。

三十岁之后，最恨别人问年龄，你要是非问不可，你猜啊。

SV:

Attheageoftwenty,Iwasalwaysreadytodisclosemyageonalloccasionsandcouldnotwaittospeakouttheansweruntiltheinquirerfinishedhiswords.AfterIhaveturnedthirty,Ihateanyinquiryaboutmyage.Ifyouinsist,haveaguess.

RV:

Attheageoftwenty,Iwassoreadytorevealmyage,tellingpeopleaboutmyagefrequentlybeforetheyinquired.Afterthirty,agebecamealmostatabootome.Ifsomebodyissonosy,Irespond,“Guess.”

点评：

Englishisalanguageofmetaphor,leavingnostoneunturnedinexploitingthemetaphoricalmeaning,orrathertheconnotative（转义的）meaning,ofverysingleword,whileChineselanguageisheavilydenotation（本义）-dependent.

5．二十岁的时候，一心想和体育系、美术系的男生约会。

三十岁后，我简直认为自己当年是白痴。

SV:

Wheninmytwenties,Iwasonlywillingtodateboysfromsportsorartdepartment.Afterthirty,IeventhoughtIhadbeenanidiotbefore.

RV:

Attheageoftwenty,Ididlongtodatewiththeboysfromeitherphysicaleducation,ortheartdepartment.Afterthirty,itseemssounbelievablethatIonceidioticallypossessedthatthought.

点评：

Lexically（词汇地）speaking,partoftheaestheticvaluegoestoflexiblewordformationinEnglishwhichdwarfsChinese

6．二十岁的时候，有书店必须逛，有书必买。

三十岁之后，对书店视而不见，直接去了隔壁的美容院。

SV:

Attheageoftwenty,IfrequentedthebookstoresandboughtwhateverIfound.Afterthirty,Iignoredthemandwentaheadintothenearbybeautyparlor（店营业室）.

RV:

Attheageoftwenty,thebookstorewasamustforme,andIwasabigbookbuyer.Whileafterthirty,payingnoattentiontothebookstore,Ibreezeintothebeautyparlornextdoor.

点评：

Itisuniversallyacknowledgedthatobscurityandabstract,occasionallycreatesmoreaestheticvalue,whichcanaccomplishmoreaccuracyandgracefulness.

7．二十岁的时候，老妈打电话，不等说完三句就恨不能挂了电话。

三十岁之后，一听到妈的声音就禁不住哭出声来：

“妈呀，您老的所有担心现在都应验了……”

SV:

Attheageoftwenty,whenmotherphonesme,Iamanxioustohangupimmediately.Aftertheageofthirty,onhearingmother’svoiceonthephone,Icannothelpcryingout,“Mom,allthatyouworryabouthavecometrue.”

RV:

Attheageoftwenty,whiletalkingwithmymotheroverthephone,Iwantedtohangupbeforemymotherhadfinishedafewwords.Afterthirty,thevoiceofMominvariablytriggersmycrying,“Mom,yourworriesaboutmymarriagehaveallcometrue.”

点评：

Chineseexpressionsinvolvemoreobscurity,asignoflavishlyartistically-conceived（持有艺术的）language,whileEnglishpins（紧扣）moreaestheticvalueonclarityandlegibility（易辨认,易理解）,amanifestationofalanguagelargelygovernedbylogic.

傅雷：

东方人和西方人的思想方式有基本分歧，我人重综合、重归纳重暗示、重含蓄；西方人则重分析，细微曲折、挖掘惟恐不尽，描写惟恐不周。

王力：

西洋语法是硬的，没有弹性；中国语法是软的，富有弹性。

中国语法以达意为主。

杨振宁：

中国的文化是模糊、朦胧及总体的方向走，而西方的文化是向准确而具体的方向走。

汉语，写诗却是一个优点。

8．二十岁的时候，我真想往前冲，谁也别挡我。

三十岁之后，我真想赖着不走啊，又快过年了。

SV:

Attheageoftwenty,Idashedforwardwithoutanyapprehension.Inmythirties,Istrivetohangontothemoment:

anotherNewYearislooming.

RV:

Attheageoftwenty,Idashedforwardwithoutanyconcernforthepassingdaysandyears.Inmythirties,Istrivetohangontoeverymoment:

Unfortunately,anotherNewYearloomsonthehorizon.

点评：

TheChinesetextseemstobevagueandimplicit;theliteralversiondonebymystudentgoeslikethis:

Attheageoftwenty,Idashedforwardwithoutanyapprehension.Inmythirties,Istrivetohangontothemoment:

anotherNewYearislooming.Couldyouunderstandthisliteralversion?

ButIwouldmakeafewchanges:

“Attheageoftwenty,Idashedforwardwithoutanyconcernforthepassingdaysandyears.Inmythirties,Istrivetohangontoeverymoment:

Unfortunately,anotherNewYearloomsonthehorizon.”

9．二十岁的时候，我想出名要趁早，一个人到了三十岁还籍籍无名那还活个什么劲呀？

三十岁之后，名是不指望了，只希望在四十岁的时候能象我老板一样有钱。

SV:

Attheageoftwenty,Isaid,togainfame,theearlierthebetter.Howdullitshouldbeoneisstillinfamousinherthirties!

Inmythirties,reputationisnolongermydesire.Ionlyhaveawishtobeasrichasmybossinmyforties.

RV:

Attheageoftwenty,it’sbettertobefamousbeforeit’stoolate,Ibelieved.Whatwouldbethespiceoflifeforapersondeserted（放弃）byfamewhenapproachingthirty?

Afterthirty,fameseemsstillbeyondreach,yetbeingasrichasmybossatfortybecomesmynewdream.

点评：

OneoftheimportantcriteriainaestheticjudgementforEnglishishypotaxis（形合）,whileChineseisalanguageofparataxis（意合）;thelogicsyntacticalrelationshipisself-evident.Makeacomparison:

燕子去了，有再来的时候；杨柳枯了，有再青的时候；桃花谢了，有再开的时候。

但是，聪明的，你告诉我，我们的日子为什么一去不复返呢？

Swallowsmayhavegone,butthereisatimeofreturn;willowtreesmayhavediedback,butthereisatimeofregreening;peachblossomsmayhavefallen,buttheywillbloomagain.Now,youthewise,tellme,whyshouldourdaysleaveus,nevertoreturn?

10．二十岁的时候，拥挤在人头攒动的公共大巴上，吃着甜筒，挺开心。

三十岁之后，看见破旧肮脏的的士都心烦，拜托！

油价一跌，就去买车吧，一路开往小康。

10．SV:

Attheageoftwenty,Ifelthappysqueezedinacrammedbuseatinganice-cream.AfterIhaveturnedthirty,Ihatetolookatthedirty,worn-outtaxis.Thankgoddess!

Oncetheoilpricedeclines,I’’llbuyacartomyselfanddriveallthewaytoacomfortablelife.

RV:

Attheageoftwenty,Ifeltsocontentedsandwichedinajammedbus,eatingicecream.Afterthirty,eventhesightofashabbyandsordid（肮脏的）taximaysickenme.Ok!

Whentheoilpricegoesdown,Iwillbuyacar,drivealongtheroadofWell-To-Do（小康的）.

点评：

ImpersonalSubjectSentenceistheprideofEnglishlanguage,invitingmuchaestheticvalue,whileChinese,syntacticallyneglectingtheemploymentofsubject,employfewimpersonalsubjects.

11．二十岁的时候，打赌说我这辈子不可能土到死守在一个地方，生活在别处嘛。

三十岁之后，我为了在这座城市买个满意又便宜的房子跑断了双腿。

SV:

Attheageoftwenty,IbettherewasfatchancethatIshouldrusticallylivemylifetimeinoneplace,asthesayinggoes,abeautifullifeoccurselsewhere.Inmythirties,Isparenostrengthrunningforadecentandinexpensivehouseinthelocalcity.

RV:

Attheageoftwenty,IbetthatIwouldneverresideinonecitytherestofmylife.I’dchoosetoliveindifferentplaces.Afterthirty,Iranmyfeetoffsearchingforanapartment,satisfyingandcheap.

点评：

Awaytoachieveend-weight:

after-positionadjectives

Forexample:

Hecomesintothelightofevery-daylikeagreatleviathan（《圣经》中象征邪恶的）海中怪兽,巨物）ofthedeep,breakingthesmoothsurfaceofacceptedthings,gay,serious,andsportive.

12．二十岁的时候，看小说专