经典美剧《老友记》第三季第五集字幕对白纯英文看美剧学英语.docx

经典美剧《老友记》第三季第五集字幕对白纯英文看美剧学英语.docx

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经典美剧《老友记》第三季第五集字幕对白纯英文看美剧学英语

Sowhathappened?

Didaforesttickyouoff?

Wealwayssayweneedaplaceforthemail.

Istartedbuildingone.ButthenIdecidedtotakeittothenextstep.

You'rebuildingapostoffice?

No,anentertainmentunit,withabuilt-inmailcubby.

It'saone-dayjob,max.

Myword,thosearesnug!

Thesearemyoldworkpants.

SergioValente.

Powersawkindofgotawayfrommethere.

TheOneWithFrankJr.

Hey,Pheebs.Anysignofyourbrother?

No,buthe'salwayslate.

-Ithoughtyouonlymethimonce.-Idid.

Ithinkitsoundsbigsister-y,"Frank'salwayslate."

Well,relax.He'llbehere.

Iknow.I'mjustnervous.

It'sjust,Mom'sdead,don'ttalktomysister...

...Grandma'sbeensleepingalotlately.

It'sjustthe"last-desperate-chance-to-have-a-family"kindofthing.

You'resweettowaitwithme.

Actually,Gunthersentme.You'renotallowedtohavecupsouthere.

DoesanyoneelsethinkDavidCopperfield'scute?

No.Buthetoldmehethinksyou'reafox.

Allright.Janicelikeshim.

Infact,shelikeshimsomuch,sheputhimonher"freebie"list.

Herwhat?

Wehaveadealwhereweeachpickfivecelebritieswecouldsleepwith...

...andtheotheronecan'tgetmad.

Theheartofeveryhealthyrelationship:

Honesty,respectandsexwithcelebrities.

Sowho'sonyourlist?

IKimBasinger...

...CindyCrawford,HalleBerry...

...YasmineBleeth...

...andJessicaRabbit.

Youdorealizethatsheisacartoon,andwayoutofyourleague?

Iknow.IjustwonderifIcouldgethereyestopopoutofherhead.

Whowouldyoursbe?

First,Ineedaboyfriend.ThenIcanhavealist.

It'sjustagame,Mon.

Rach,howaboutyou?

Idon'tknow.IguessChrisO'Donnell,JohnF.IKennedyJr...

...DanielDay-Lewis,StingandParkerStevenson.

Spiderman?

HardyBoy.

-PeterParker.-Thankyou.

Whataboutyou,honey?

Who'dbeonyourlist?

Thatkindofthingrequiressomeseriousthought.

First,I'ddividemyprospectivecandidatesintocategories.

Whatageek!

Everybody,thisisFrank!

Myhalfbrother,Frank!

Thisiseverybody.

-ThisisRoss.-Howareyou?

ThisisMonica.

AndthisisRachel.

I'mgonnagetcoffeeforus.

Hey,howdoyouguysgetanythingdone?

Wedon't,really.

Doyouguyshavebigplans?

Oh,yeah.We'regonnaconnectandbondandeverything.

IthoughtwecouldgodowntoTimesSquareandpickupsomeninjastars.

Myfriend,Larry,hewantsmetotakeapictureofahooker.

Wereallydon'ttakeadvantageoflivinginthecity.

Oh,sorry.DidIgetyou?

No,youdidn't"get"me!

It'sanelectricdrill!

You"get"me,youkillme!

Calmdown!

Doyouwantthisunitornot?

Idonotwantthisunit!

Youshould'vetoldmebefore.I'mnotamindreader.

Andwe'reoutofbeer.I'mgoingtoMonica's.

Fine!

Whereyouheadinginthosepants?

1982?

Isawdownatthehardwarestore,theygotthosedesignertilesonsale...

...ifyouwannaredoyourbathroomfloor.

What'swrongwithmybathroomfloor?

Nothing.It'sjustoldanddingy,that'sall.

Ihighlydoubtthat.

Ifyoumoveyourhamper...

...youseehowthetileusedtobe.

Ican'tlivelikethis!

Whatarewegonnado?

Relax.Here,holdthis.

Thisoldstuffcomesrightup.I'llshowyou.

AlittlemorethanIwantedtosee.

Lookatthat!

Everyinchofthisisglueddown!

It'dtakeforevertoprythisup.Youshouldjustleaveit.

Ican'tleaveit!

Yougougedaholeinmydingyfloor!

There.Thereyougo.

Yeah,that'snice.

Wecanputitbackthereafterthesurgeonsremoveitfromyourcolon!

IknowwhatIwantedtoaskyou.Canyourollyourtongue?

BecauseIcanandmymomcouldn't.

AndIfiguredthatwassomethingIgotfromourdad.

Well,wait,youmeanlikethis?

Yeah,youcandoittoo.Yeah.

You'renotdoingit.

Oh,right.Okay.Yeah,mymomcouldandIcan't.

Wedon'thavethat.

When'syourbirthday?

February16th.

Iknowaguywho'sthe18th.

That'sclose.

When'syours?

October25th.

That'sthesamemonthasHalloween.

Sowhatkindofthingsdoyouliketodoathome?

Meltstuff.

-Okay,I'vegotthreeofmyfive.-Threeofyourfivewhat?

CelebritiesI'mallowedtosleepwith.

God,you'regivingthisalotofthought.

Hey,it'shard,okay?

Ionlyhavetwospotsleft.

Allright.Whoyougotitnarroweddownto?

ElizabethHurley.

Veryattractive.

Forgiving.

SusanSarandon.

Youknowwhat?

She'stoopolitical.

She'dprobablymakeyoudonatefourcansoffoodfirst.

AndlsabellaRossellini.

Veryhot.Verysexy.

Butshe'stoointernational.She'snevergonnabearound.

-So?

-Soyougottaplaytheodds.

Picksomebodywho'sgonnabeinthecountryallthetime.

Yeah.Becausethat'swhyyouwon'tgetlsabellaRossellini.Geography.

Okay.Soby"melting"youmeantmelting.

Soisit,like,art?

Yeah,youcanmeltart.

Hey,canIuseyourphone?

-Sure.Youwanttocallyourmom?

-No,Iwanttomeltit.

Oh.Well,notrightnow.

I'mgonnagotobed.Thefumesaregivingmeaheadache.So....

Goodnight,"bro."

Goodnight.

Here.

Justincase.

Oh,excellent!

-Whatkindofkarateisthat?

-Nokind.

Hejustmakesitup.

-How'sitgoingwithyouguys?

-Sofaritkindofblows.

Idon'tknow,Ijustthoughthe'dfeelmorelikeabrother.

LikeyouandRoss.Closeandconnectedand....

We'reclosenow.Youwouldn'tbelievetheyears...

...ofnoogies,andwedgies,andflyingwedgies,andatomicwedgiesand....

That'swhenthewaistbandgoesoveryourhead.

Wedroveeachothercrazyplayingtheshadowgame.

-Howdoyouplaytheshadowgame?

-Howdoyouplaytheshadowgame?

-Ijustaskedyou.-Ijustaskedyou.

Idon'thavetimeforthis.

-Thatiswhatthegameis.-Youjustgaveupreallyquickly.

-SeenJoey?

-What'sthematter?

Oh,justthis!

It'smyfault,really,becausethecouchiswherewekeepthevarnish.

Somebodywannahandmeoneofthosetiles?

-What'sgoingon?

-He'sretilingmyfloor.

Spackleboy!

-Getup!

-Youstartedthis,you'llfinishit!

Hestartedminefirst!

Buildtheunit,CinderellieLaythetile,Cinderellie

Bigoctopus.

Oh,myGod!

Itotallyforgot!

Well,can'tsomeoneelsedoit?

ButIhavecompany.

Look,that'sallright.I'llcomein.

I'msorry,butIhavetogointowork.

It'soneofmyregularswho'sinsistingthatIdohim,so....

Hey,whatkindofworkdoyoudo?

I'mamasseuse.

Igivepeoplemassagesandstuff.

Youworkatoneofthosemassageparlors?

Well,youknow,wedon'tcallitthat.But,yeah.

That'swild.

No,Ihadnoidea.

Alrighty.

I'llbebackinalittlebit.

Unlessyouwanttocomewithme.

Youmean,like,watch?

No.No,youcangetoneyourself.It'llbeonthehouse.

Whatarebigsistersfor?

Well,Idon'tthinkthis.Youknow?

No.No,no.Iwouldn'tdoyoumyself.

Imean,thatwouldbeweird.

I'llgetoneoftheothergirlstodoit.

Thisissomuchfun!

Areyouexcited?

Hey,doMonicaandRachelworkthere?

It'sbeautiful!

It'slikethefirstbathroomfloorthereeverwas!

Whatareyougoingintherefor?

Youwant,like,anumber?

Hi.Bye.

Okay.I'mdonewithmychoices.

Thesearefinal.

-Well,it'sabouttime.-Yeah.Veryofficial.

Oh,yeah.Well,youknow,Chandlerprintedituponhiscomputer.

Andwholaminatedit?

Thatwasme.

Allright,letmesee.

"UmaThurman,WinonaRyder,ElizabethHurley...

...MichellePfeiffer...

...DorothyHamill"?

Hey,it'smylist!

Youdorealizesheonlyspinslikethatonice?

“舒活之家”

-What'sgoingon?

-Shebrokemyarm!

-Hetouchedmyfanny.-Shetouchedminefirst!

That'smyjob!

Sowhat'sthedeal?

IcanhavesexwithyoubutIcan'ttouchyou?

-Youcan'thavesexwithher!

-DidyouthinkIwasahooker?

No,okay.Iknow.You'reamasseuse.It'scool.I'mnotacop!

AskMr.Wifflerifhecanwaitforfiveminutes.

Fine.

Idon'tlikeyou.

Sothat'swhatyouthoughtIdid?

God!

That'snotwhatIdo!

Wait,that'snotwhatyoudo?

No!

Whywouldyouthinkthat?

Idon'tknow.Thisisthecity,youknow?

Ijust....

Imean...

...Idon'tknow.

Whatever.It'stheperfectendtotheperfectweekendanyway.

Oh,wait.

No,you'reright.No,itwasperfect.

Ican'tbelieveIscreweditupsobad.

Youthoughtitwasperfect?

Well,no,maybeitwasn'tperfect...

...butyouknow,itwasprettycool,youknow?

Becausewehadallthosegreattalks,youknow?

Whichonesinparticularweregreatforyou?

Well,youknow,aboutthetonguething,youknow?

AndhowItoldyouaboutmylikesandmydislikes.

HowIliketomeltstuff,andhowIdislikestuffthatdoesn'tmelt.

Right.Okay.

IfeellikeIcanreallytalktoyoubecauseyou'remysister,youknow?

Yeah.IguessIdo.

AndthenIgofeelyourfriendupandmakeyoumadatme.

Well,Iwasn'thoppingmad,youknow?

Youhoppedalittlebit.

Yeah,I'mreallysorry.Youknow,I'mreally....

Okay.

Well,thisismyfavoritepartoftheweekend.Rightnow.This.

This?

Oh,comeon.WewenttoTimesSquare.

Wefoundninjastars.Ialmostgetmyarmbrokenbyahooker

She'snotahooker.

WhenItellmyfriendsabouther,shewillbe.

On3!

1,2

Whydon'twejustgoon2?

Why2?

Becauseit'sfaster.

Icould'vecountedto3fourtimeswithoutallthe"2"talk.

-Allright,butinthefuture-Heavything!

Notgettinglighter!

1,2

Sowearegoingwithtwo?

Agoodjob,Joe.

Wow.

It'sbig.

Sobigitactuallymakesourdoorslooksmaller.

Maybemyruler'swrong.

Maybealltherulersarewrong.

It'snotthatbad.Soitblocksalittleofyourdoor,alittleofmine.

Igotabetteridea.

Howaboutitblocksnoneofmydoor,andalotofyourdoor?

Listen,beforeIforget,thatsideisstillwet.

LetmejustseeifI'vegotthisright.

Sothisisahalf-caf,double-tall,easyhazelnut...

...nonfat,nofoam,withwhip,extra-hotlatte,right?

Okay.Great.

Youfreak.

Thankyou.

Acoffeetogo,please.

IsabellaRossellini!

Areyouserious?

Oh,myGod!

Damn!

IcannotbelieveItookheroffmylist!

Wh