the temple.docx

the temple.docx

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thetemple

作者：

象罔与罔象  发表日期：

2003-10-113:

19:

00

    THETEMPLE

　　byGAOXINGJIAN

　　Weweredeliriouslyhappy,deliriouswiththehope,infatuation,tenderness,andwarmththatgowithahoneymoon.FangfangandIhadplannedthetripoverandover,eventhoughwehadonlyhalfamonthoff:

tendaysofweddingleave,plusoneweekofadditionalworkleave.Gettingmarriedisamajoreventinlife,andforusnothingwasmoreimportant,sowhynotaskforsomeextratime?

Thatdirectorofminewassomiserly:

anyonewhowenttohimrequestingleavehadtohaggle;therewereneverautomaticapprovals.ThetwoweeksIhadwritteninmyapplicationhechangedtooneweek,includingaSunday,anditwaswithreluctancethathesaid,“I’llexpectyoutobebackatworkbytheduedate.““Ofcourse,ofcourse,“Isaid.“Wewouldn’tbeabletoaffordthesalarydeductionifwestayedlonger.“Itwasonlythenthathesignedhisname,therebygrantinguspermissiontoleave.

　　Iwasn’tabacheloranymore.Ihadafamily.IwouldnolongerbeabletogoofftorestaurantswithfriendsassoonasIgotpaidatthebeginningofthemonth.Iwouldn’tbeabletospendrecklesslysothatbytheendofthemonthIdidn’thavethemoneytobuyapackofcigarettesandhadtogothroughmypocketsandsearchthedrawersforcoins.ButIwon’tgointoallthat.I’msayingthatI—wewereveryhappy.Inourshortlives,therehadn’tbeenmuchhappiness.BothFangfangandIhadexperiencedyearsofhardship,andwehadlearnedhowitisintheworld.Duringthosecatastrophicyearsinthiscountry,ourfamiliessufferedthroughmanymisfortunes,andwestillresented,tosomeextent,thefateofourgeneration.ButIwon’tgointothat,either,forthetimebeing.Whatwasimportantwasthatwecouldnowcountourselveshappy.

　　Wehadhalfamonth’sleave,andalthoughitwasonlyhalfahoneymoon,forusitcouldn’thavebeensweeter.Iamnotgoingtogointohowsweetitwas.Youallknowaboutthatandhaveexperiencedityourselves,butthisparticularsweetnesswasoursalone.WhatIwanttotellyouaboutistheTempleofPerfectBenevolence:

“perfect“asin“perfectunion,“and“benevolence“asin“benevolentlove.“Butthenameofthetempleisnotreallyofgreatimportance.Itwasadilapidatedruin,andcertainlynotafamoustouristattraction.Nooneknewaboutit,otherthanthelocals,andIsuspectthateventhelocalswhoknewwhatitwascalledwerefew.Inanycase,thetemplewehappenedtovisitwasn’tonewherepeopleburnedincenseorprayed,andifwehadn’tcarefullyexaminedthestonetabletwithtracesofwritinginthedrainofthewaterpumpwewouldn’tevenhaveknownthatthetemplehadaname.Thelocalsreferredtoitas“thebigtemple,“butitwasnothingcomparedwiththeRetreatfortheSoulTemple,inHangzhou,ortheJadeCloudTemple,inBeijing.Situatedonahillbeyondthetown,itwaslittlemorethananoldtwo-storybuildingwithflyingeavesandtheremnantsofastonegateinfrontofit.Thecourtyardwallshadcollapsed.Thebricksoftheouterwallhadbeencarriedoffbypeasantstobuildtheirhousesorconstructpensfortheirpigs,andonlyacircleofunfiredbricksremained,overgrownwithweeds.

　　However,fromadistance,fromthesmallstreetofthecountytown,theexpanseofglazedyellowtilessparklinginthesunlightcaughtoureyes.Wehadcometothistownquitebyaccident.Ourtrainhadstayedattheplatformaftertheannounceddeparturetime,probablywaitingforanexpressthatwasbehindscheduletopassthrough.Thechaoticscrambleofpassengersgettingonandoffhadsettledand,apartfromtheconductorschattingatthecarriagedoors,therewasnooneontheplatform.Beyondthestationwasavalleywithanexpanseofgrayroofs.Fartherstill,achainofheavilywoodedmountainsgavetheancienttownanexceptionalairoftranquillity.

　　SuddenlyIhadanidea.Isaid,“Shouldwetakealookatthistown?

“

　　Fangfang,whowassittingoppositeandlookingatmelovingly,gaveaslightnod.Thoseeyesofhersseemedtospeak,and,sensitivetoeachother,wecommunicatedonthesamefrequency.Withoutaword,wetookourbagsfromtheluggagerackandrushedtothedoorofourcarriage.Assoonaswehadjumpedontotheplatform,webothlaughed.

　　Isaid,“We’llleaveonthenexttrain.“

　　“Idon’tmindifwedon’tleaveatall,“Fangfanganswered.

　　Afterall,weweretravelling,anditwasourhoneymoon.Ifwefellinlovewithaplacewewouldgothere,andifwewentonlikingtheplacewewouldstaylonger.Thehappinessofnewlywedsaccompaniedusallthetime,whereverwewent.Wewerethehappiestpeopleintheworld.Fangfangwasholdingmyarm,andIwasholdingourbags.Wewantedtheconductorsontheplatformandthecountlesspairsofeyesontheothersideofthetrainwindowstolookatuswithenvy.

　　Wenolongerhadtodriveourselvesmadtryingtogettransferredbacktothecity.Nordidwehavetokeepappealingtoourparentsforhelp.Andwedidn’thavetoworryaboutourresidentialstatusorourjobsanymore.Weevenhadourownapartment,ourownhome;itwasn’tverybig,butitwascomfortable.YoubelongedtomeandIbelongedtoyouand,Fangfang,Iknowwhatyouwanttosay:

Thisrelationshipisnolongerimmoral!

Andwhatdoesthatmean?

Itmeansthatwewanteveryonetoshareinourhappiness.We’vehadsomanyproblems,andwe’vetroubledallofyouwiththem,andyouhaveallworriedbecauseofus.Howcanwerepayyou?

Withsomecandiesandcigarettesafterourwedding?

No,wearerepayingyouwithourhappiness.There’snothingwrongwithwhatI’msaying,isthere?

　　Sothatwashowwecametothisquietoldtowninthevalley.But,intruth,thetownwasnowherenearastranquilasithadseemedwhenwewerelookingoutofthetrainwindow.Belowthegrayrooftiles,thelanesandalleyswerethrobbingwithactivity.Itwasnineo’clockinthemorning,andpeopleweresellingvegetablesandrockmelonsandfreshlypickedapplesandpears.Thestreetsofcountytownslikethisonearen’twide,somulecarts,horsecarts,andtruckswerealljammedtogether,thedriverscrackingtheirwhipsandsoundingtheirhorns.Dustintheair,dirtywatertossedoutbyvegetablestalls,melonskinsontheground,squawkinghensflappinginthehandsoftheirbuyers:

theseweresightsthatmadeusfeelclosetothetown.

　　Itallfeltsodifferentfromthetimewhenweweregraduatessenttoworkinthecountryside.Nowwewerejustvisitorspassingthrough;weweretourists,andthecomplicatedrelationshipsbetweenthepeopleherehadnothingtodowithus.Inevitably,thisproducedinuscity-dwellersasenseofsuperiority.FangfangwasclutchingmyarmtightlyandIwasleaningclosetoher,andwecouldsensepeople’seyesonus.Butwedidn’tbelongtothistown;wewerefromanotherworld.Wewalkedrightbythem,andtheydidn’tgossipaboutus;theygossipedonlyaboutthepeopletheyknew.

　　Eventually,therewerenomorevegetablestallsandveryfewpeople.Wehadleftthebustleanddinofthemarketbehind.Isawfrommywatchthatithadtakenusonlyhalfanhourtowalkthelengthofthemainroadfromtherailwaystation.Itwasstillearly.Itwouldhavebeenananticlimaxjusttoreturntothestationandwaitforthenexttrain,andFangfangwasalreadythinkingaboutspendingthenighthere!

Shedidn’tsayso,butIcouldseethatshewassomewhatdisappointed.

　　Therewasamanheadingtowardus,ostentatiouslyswinginghisarmsashewalked.Hewasprobablyacadre.

　　“Excuseme,couldyoutellmehowtogettothecountyhostel?

“Iasked.

　　HestudiedFangfangandmeforamoment,thenenthusiasticallypointeditouttous.“Gooverthere,“hetoldus,“thenheadleft.Theredbrickthree-storybuildingisthecountyhostel.“Heaskedwhomwewerelookingfor,andheseemedtowanttotakeustherehimself.Weexplainedthatwewerejusttouristspassingthroughandaskedhimiftherewereanysightsworthseeing.Hepattedhishead:

this,itseemed,wasaproblem.

　　Aftergivingthemattersomethought,hesaid,“Thereactuallyaren’tanyscenicspotsinthiscounty.Butthere’sabigtempleuponthehilltothewestoftown,ifyouwanttogothere.You’llhavetoclimbthehill,though,andit’ssteep!

“

　　“That’sO.K.We’vecomeheresothatwecangohiking,“Isaid.

　　Fangfanghastenedtoadd,“That’sright.We’renotafraidofclimbingahill.“

　　Atthis,themanledustothecornerofthestreet.Thehillwasnowdirectlyinfrontofus,andontopofit,glazedtilessparklinginthesun,wastheoldtemple.

　　Butthenthemanglancedatthehigh-heeledshoesthatFangfangwaswearingandsaid,“You’llhavetowadeacrossariver.“

　　“Isthewaterdeep?

“Iasked.

　　“Abovetheknees.“

　　IlookedatFangfang.

　　“That’snothing.I’llmanage.“Shedidn’twanttodisappointme.

　　Wethankedhimandbeganwalkinginthedirectionhehadindicated.Whenweturnedontothedustydirtroad,Icouldn’thelpfeelingsomewhatregretfulasIlookedatthenewhigh-heeledshoeswiththinstrapsthatFangfanghadon.Still,shechargedahead.

　　“You’rereallyacrazylittlething,“Isaid,catchinguptoher.

　　“AslongasI’mwithyou.“

　　Doyouremember,Fangfang?

Yousaidthisasyounestledagainstme.

　　Wewalkedtowardtheriverbank.Corngrewstraight,tallerthanaman,onbothsides,andwefollowedapaththroughthegreengauzecanopy,withnooneinsighteitheraheadorbehind.TakingFangfanginmyarms,Igentlykissedher.What’swrongwiththat?

Shedoesn’twantmetotalkaboutthat.Solet’sgobacktotheTempleofPerfectBenevolenc