Friends老友记六人行中英文对照剧本102.doc

Friends老友记六人行中英文对照剧本102.doc

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102TheOneWiththeSonogramattheEnd

[SceneCentralPerk,everyone'sthere.]

Monica:

Whatyouguysdon'tunderstandis,forus,kissingisasimportantasanypartofit.

Joey:

Yeah,right!

.......Y'serious?

Phoebe:

Oh,yeah!

Rachel:

Everythingyouneedtoknowisinthatfirstkiss.

Monica:

Absolutely.

Chandler:

Yeah,Ithinkforus,kissingisprettymuchlikeanopeningact,y'know?

Imeanit'slikethestand-upcomedianyouhavetositthroughbeforePinkFloydcomesout.

Ross:

Yeah,and-andit'snotthatwedon'tlikethecomedian,it'sthat-that...that'snotwhyweboughttheticket.

Chandler:

Theproblemis,though,aftertheconcert'sover,nomatterhowgreattheshowwas,yougirlsarealwayslookingforthecomedianagain,y'know?

Imean,we'reinthecar,we'refightingtraffic...basicallyjusttryingtostayawake.

Rachel:

Yeah,well,wordofadvice:

Bringbackthecomedian.Otherwisenexttimeyou'regonnafindyourselfsittingathome,listeningtothatalbumalone.

Joey:

（pause）....Arewestilltalkingaboutsex?

OpeningCredits

[Scene:

MuseumofPrehistoricHistory,Rossandaco-worker（Marsha）aresettingupanexhibitwhichincludessomemannequinsofcavepeople.]

Ross:

No,it'sgood,itisgood,it'sjustthat-mm-doesn'tsheseemalittleangry?

Marsha:

Well,shehasissues.

Ross:

Doesshe.

Marsha:

He'soutbangingotherwomenovertheheadwithaclub,whileshesitsathometryingtogetthemastodonsmelloutofthecarpet!

Ross:

Marsha,thesearecavepeople.Okay?

Theyhaveissueslike'Gee,thatglacier'sgettingkindaclose.'See?

Marsha:

Speakingofissues,isn'tthatyourex-wife?

（Carol,Ross'sex-wife,hasenteredbehindthemandisstandingoutstidetheexhibit.）

Ross:

（tryingtoignoreher）No.No.

Marsha:

Yes,itis.Carol!

Hi!

Ross:

Okay,okay,yes,itis.（waves）HowaboutI'll,uh,catchupwithyouintheIceAge.

（MarshaextisandRosswavesCarolintotheexhibit.）

Ross:

Hi.

Carol:

So.

Ross:

Youlookgreat.I,uh...Ihatethat.

Carol:

Sorry.Youlookgoodtoo.

Ross:

Ah,well,inhere,anyonewho...standserect...Sowhat'snew?

Still,uh...

Carol:

Alesbian?

Ross:

Well...youneverknow.How's,um..how'sthefamily?

Carol:

Marty'sstilltotallyparanoid.Oh,and,uh-

Ross:

Why-whyareyouhere,Carol?

Carol:

I'mpregnant.

Ross:

Pregnant?

!

[Scene:

MonicaandRachel's,Chandler,Joey,Phoebe,andMonicaarewatchingThree'sCompany.]

Chandler:

Oh,IthinkthisistheepisodeofThree'sCompanywherethere'ssomekindofmisunderstanding.

Phoebe:

...ThenI'vealreadyseenthisone!

（TurnsofftheTV.）

Monica:

（takingadrinkfromJoey）Areyouthroughwiththat?

Joey:

Yeah,sorry,theswallowingslowedmedown.

Monica:

Whoselittleballofpaperisthis?

!

Chandler:

Oh,uh,thatwouldbemine.See,Iwroteanotetomyself,andthenIrealisedIdidn'tneedit,soIballeditupand...（seesthatMonicaisglaringathim）...nowIwishIwasdead.

（Monicastartstofluffapillow.）

Phoebe:

She'salreadyfluffedthatpillow...Monica,youknow,you'vealreadyfluffedthat-（Monicaglaresather.）-but,it'sfine!

Monica:

Look,I'msorry,guys,Ijustdon'twannagivethemanymoreammunitionthantheyalreadyhave.

Chandler:

Yes,andweallknowhowcruelaparentcanbeabouttheflatnessofachild'spillow.

Phoebe:

Monica-Hi!

Um,Monica,you'rescaringme.Imean,you'relike,you'relikeallchaoticandtwirly.Andnot-notinagoodway.

Joey:

Yeah,calmdown.Youdon'tseeRossgettingallchaoticandtwirlyeverytimetheycome.

Monica:

That'sbecauseasfarasmyparentsareconcerned,Rosscandonowrong.Y'see,he'sthePrince.ApparentlytheyhadsomebigceremonybeforeIwasborn.

Chandler:

（lookingoutthewindow）Ew,ew,ew,ewewewewew!

Monica:

What?

Chandler:

UglyNakedGuygotaThighmaster!

All:

Eeaagh!

（Rachelentersfromherroom.）

Rachel:

Hasanybodyseenmyengagementring?

Phoebe:

Yeah,it'sbeautiful.

Rachel:

OhGod,ohGod,ohGodohGodohGodohGod....（Startstolookunderthecouchcushions.）

Phoebe:

No,look,don'ttouchthat!

Rachel:

Oh,likeIwasn'tdreadingtomorrowenough,havingtogiveitbacktohim...'HiBarry!

Rememberme?

I'mthegirlintheveilwhostompedonyourheartinfrontofyourentirefamily!

'OhGodandnowI'mgonnahavetoreturnthering,withoutthering,whichmakesitsomuchharder...

Monica:

EasyRach,we'llfindit.（Toall）Won'twe!

ChandlerandJoey:

Oh!

Yeah!

Joey:

Alright,when'd'yahaveitonlast?

Phoebe:

Doy!

Probablyrightbeforeshelostit!

Chandler:

Youdon'tgetalotof'doy'thesedays...

Rachel:

IknowIhaditthismorning,andIknowIhaditwhenIwasinthekitchenwith...

Chandler:

...Dinah?

Rachel:

（looksatthelasagneandrealizessomething）Ohhhhh,don'tbemad...

Monica:

Youdidn't.

Rachel:

Oh,Iamsorry...

Monica:

Igaveyouonejob!

（Startstoexaminthelasagnethroughthebottomoftheglasspan.）

Rachel:

Oh,butlookhowstraightthosenoodlesare!

Chandler:

Now,Monica,youknowthat'snothowyoulookforanengagementringinalasagne...

Monica:

（putsdownthelasagne）Ijust...can'tdoit.

Chandler:

Boys?

We'regoingin.

（Chandler,Joey,andPhoebestarttopickthroughthelasagneasthere'saknockonthedoorwhichMonicaanswers.）

Ross:

（standingoutsidethedoor）.....Hi.

Monica:

Wow.Thatisnotahappyhi.

Ross:

Carol'spregnant.

Phoebe:

（whileeveryoneelseisstunned）Ooh!

Ifoundit!

Monica:

W-w-wh-...wha-...w-w-w-...

Ross:

Yeah.Dothatforanothertwohours,youmightbewhereIamrightaboutnow.（Heenters.）

Chandler:

Kindaputsthatwholepillowthinginperspective,huh,Mon?

Rachel:

Wellnow,how-howdoyoufitintothiswholething?

Ross:

Well,CarolsayssheandSusanwantmetobeinvolved,butifI'mnotcomfortablewithit,Idon'thavetobeinvolved..basicallyit'sentirelyuptome.

Phoebe:

Sheissogreat!

Imissher.

Monica:

Whatdoesshemeanby'involved'?

Chandler:

Imeanpresumably,thebiggestpartofyourjobisdone.

Ross:

Anyway,theywantmetogodowntothis-sonogramthingwiththemtomorrow.

Rachel:

Sowhatareyougonnado?

Ross:

Ihavenoidea.NomatterwhatIdo,though,I'mstillgonnabeafather.

（Joeystartstoeattherestofthelasagneandeveryoneturnsandstaresathim.）

Joey:

.....Well,thisisstillruined,right?

[Scene,MonicaandRachel's,MonicaandRossarepouringwinefortheirparents.]

Mrs.Geller:

Oh,MarthaLudwin'sdaughterisgonnacallyou.（Tastesasnack）Mmm!

What'sthatcurrytaste?

Monica:

Curry.

Mrs.Geller:

Mmmm!

Ross:

I-Ithinkthey'regreat!

I,Ireallydo.

Mr.Geller:

（ToRoss）DoyouremembertheLudwins?

Thebigonehadathingforyou,didn'tshe?

Mrs.Geller:

Theyallhadathingforhim.

Ross:

Aw,Mom...

Monica:

I'msorry,whyisthisgirlgoingtocallme?

Mrs.Geller:

Oh,shejustgraduated,andshewantstobesomethingincooking,orfood,or....Idon'tknow.Anyway,Itoldheryouhadarestaurant-

Monica:

NoMom,Idon'thavearestaurant,Iworkinarestaurant.

Mrs.Geller:

Well,theydon'thavetoknowthat...（ShestartstofluffthesamepillowMonicafluffedmultipletimesearlier.）

Monica:

Ross,couldyoucomeandhelpmewiththespaghetti,please?

Ross:

Yeah.（Theygotothekitchen.）

Mrs.Geller:

Oh,we'rehavingspaghetti!

That's....easy.

Monica:

Iknowthisisgoingtosoundunbelievablyselfish,but,wereyouplanningonbringingupthewholebaby/lesbianthing?

BecauseIthinkitmighttakesomeoftheheatoffme.

[TimeLapse,everyoneisnoweating.]

Mrs.Geller:

WhatthatRacheldidtoherlife....Weranintoherparentsattheclub,theywerenotplayingverywell.

Mr.Geller:

I'mnotgonnatellyouwhattheyspentonthatwedding...butfortythousanddollarsisalotofmoney!

Mrs.Geller:

Well,atleastshehadthechancetoleaveamanatthealtar...

Monica:

What'sthatsupposedtomean?

Mrs.Geller:

Nothing!

It'sanexpression.

Monica:

Noit'snot.

Mr.Geller:

Don'tlistentoyourmother.You'reindependent,andyoualwayshavebeen!

Evenwhenyouwereakid...andyouwerechubby,andyouhadnofriends,youwerejustfine!

Andyouwouldreadaloneinyourroom,andyourpuzzles...

[TimeLapse.]

Mr.Geller:

Look,therearepeoplelikeRosswhoneedtoshootforthestars,withhismuseum,andhispapersgettingpublished.Otherpeoplearesatisfiedwithstayingwheretheyare-I'mtellingyou,thesearethepeoplewhonevergetcancer.

[TimeLapse.]

Mr.Geller:

...AndIreadaboutthesewomentryingtohaveitall,andIthankGod'OurLittleHarmonica'doesn'tseemtohavethatproblem.

Monica:

（tryingdesperatelytochangethesubject）So,Ross,what'sgoingonwithyou?

Anystories?

（Digsherelbowintohishand.）Nonews,nolittleanecdotestosharewiththefolks?

Ross:

（pullshishandaway）Okay!

Okay.（Tohisparents）Look,I,uh-IrealiseyouguyshavebeenwonderingwhatexactlyhappenedbetweenCarolandme,and,so,well,here'sthedeal.Carol'salesbian.She'slivingwithawomannamedSusan.She'spregnantwithmychild,andsheandSusanaregoingtoraisethebaby.

（Stunnedsilenceensues.）

Mrs.Geller:

（ToMonica）Andyouknewaboutthis?

!

CommercialBreak

[Scene:

CentralPark,everyone'sthere.]

Joey:

Yourfolksarereallythatbad,huh?

Ross:

Well,y'know,thesepeoplearepros.Theyknowwhatthey'redoing,theytaketheirtime,theygetthejobdone.

Monica:

Boy,Iknowtheysayyoucan'tchangeyourparents,...boy,ifyoucould-（ToRoss）-I'dwantyours.

Ross:

Mustpee.（Goestopee.）

Phoebe:

Y'know,it'sevenworsewhenyou'retwins.

Rachel:

You'retwins?

Phoebe:

Yeah.Wedon'tspeak.She'slikethishigh-powered,drivencareertype.

Chandler:

Whatdoe