A Modest Proposal.docx

A Modest Proposal.docx

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AModestProposal

AModestProposalbyJonathanSwiftAModestProposalforpreventingthechildrenofpoorpeopleinIreland,frombeingaburdenontheirparentsorcountry,andformakingthembeneficialtothepublick.

byDr.JonathanSwift.1729

Itisamelancholyobjecttothose,whowalkthroughthisgreattown,ortravelinthecountry,whentheyseethestreets,theroadsandcabbin-doorscrowdedwithbeggarsofthefemalesex,followedbythree,four,orsixchildren,allinrags,andimportuningeverypassengerforanalms.Thesemothersinsteadofbeingabletoworkfortheirhonestlivelihood,areforcedtoemployalltheirtimeinstrolingtobegsustenancefortheirhelplessinfantswho,astheygrowup,eitherturnthievesforwantofwork,orleavetheirdearnativecountry,tofightforthePretenderinSpain,orsellthemselvestotheBarbadoes.

Ithinkitisagreedbyallparties,thatthisprodigiousnumberofchildreninthearms,oronthebacks,orattheheelsoftheirmothers,andfrequentlyoftheirfathers,isinthepresentdeplorablestateofthekingdom,averygreatadditionalgrievance;andthereforewhoevercouldfindoutafair,cheapandeasymethodofmakingthesechildrensoundandusefulmembersofthecommon-wealth,woulddeservesowellofthepublick,astohavehisstatuesetupforapreserverofthenation.

Butmyintentionisveryfarfrombeingconfinedtoprovideonlyforthechildrenofprofessedbeggars:

itisofamuchgreaterextent,andshalltakeinthewholenumberofinfantsatacertainage,whoarebornofparentsineffectaslittleabletosupportthem,asthosewhodemandourcharityinthestreets.

Astomyownpart,havingturnedmythoughtsformanyyears,uponthisimportantsubject,andmaturelyweighedtheseveralschemesofourprojectors,Ihavealwaysfoundthemgrosslymistakenintheircomputation.Itistrue,achildjustdroptfromitsdam,maybesupportedbyhermilk,forasolaryear,withlittleothernourishment:

atmostnotabovethevalueoftwoshillings,whichthemothermaycertainlyget,orthevalueinscraps,byherlawfuloccupationofbegging;anditisexactlyatoneyearoldthatIproposetoprovidefortheminsuchamanner,as,insteadofbeingachargeupontheirparents,ortheparish,orwantingfoodandraimentfortherestoftheirlives,theyshall,onthecontrary,contributetothefeeding,andpartlytothecloathingofmanythousands.

Thereislikewiseanothergreatadvantageinmyscheme,thatitwillpreventthosevoluntaryabortions,andthathorridpracticeofwomenmurderingtheirbastardchildren,alas!

toofrequentamongus,sacrificingthepoorinnocentbabes,Idoubt,moretoavoidtheexpencethantheshame,whichwouldmovetearsandpityinthemostsavageandinhumanbreast.

Thenumberofsoulsinthiskingdombeingusuallyreckonedonemillionandahalf,oftheseIcalculatetheremaybeabouttwohundredthousandcouplewhosewivesarebreeders;fromwhichnumberIsubtractthirtythousandcouple,whoareabletomaintaintheirownchildren,（althoughIapprehendtherecannotbesomany,underthepresentdistressesofthekingdom）butthisbeinggranted,therewillremainanhundredandseventythousandbreeders.Iagainsubtractfiftythousand,forthosewomenwhomiscarry,orwhosechildrendiebyaccidentordiseasewithintheyear.Thereonlyremainanhundredandtwentythousandchildrenofpoorparentsannuallyborn.Thequestionthereforeis,Howthisnumbershallbereared,andprovidedfor?

which,asIhavealreadysaid,underthepresentsituationofaffairs,isutterlyimpossiblebyallthemethodshithertoproposed.Forwecanneitheremploytheminhandicraftoragriculture;weneitherbuildhouses,（Imeaninthecountry）norcultivateland:

theycanveryseldompickupalivelihoodbystealingtilltheyarriveatsixyearsold;exceptwheretheyareoftowardlyparts,althoughIconfesstheylearntherudimentsmuchearlier;duringwhichtimetheycanhoweverbeproperlylookedupononlyasprobationers:

AsIhavebeeninformedbyaprincipalgentlemaninthecountyofCavan,whoprotestedtome,thatheneverknewaboveoneortwoinstancesundertheageofsix,eveninapartofthekingdomsorenownedforthequickestproficiencyinthatart.

Iamassuredbyourmerchants,thataboyoragirlbeforetwelveyearsold,isnosaleablecommodity,andevenwhentheycometothisage,theywillnotyieldabovethreepounds,orthreepoundsandhalfacrownatmost,ontheexchange;whichcannotturntoaccounteithertotheparentsorkingdom,thechargeofnutrimentsandragshavingbeenatleastfourtimesthatvalue.

Ishallnowthereforehumblyproposemyownthoughts,whichI

hopewillnotbeliabletotheleastobjection.

IhavebeenassuredbyaveryknowingAmericanofmyacquaintanceinLondon,thatayounghealthychildwellnursed,is,atayearold,amostdeliciousnourishingandwholesomefood,whetherstewed,roasted,baked,orboiled;andImakenodoubtthatitwillequallyserveinafricasie,oraragoust.

Idothereforehumblyofferittopublickconsideration,thatofthehundredandtwentythousandchildren,alreadycomputed,twentythousandmaybereservedforbreed,whereofonlyonefourthparttobemales;whichismorethanweallowtosheep,blackcattle,orswine,andmyreasonis,thatthesechildrenareseldomthefruitsofmarriage,acircumstancenotmuchregardedbyoursavages,therefore,onemalewillbesufficienttoservefourfemales.Thattheremaininghundredthousandmay,atayearold,beofferedinsaletothepersonsofqualityandfortune,throughthekingdom,alwaysadvisingthemothertoletthemsuckplentifullyinthelastmonth,soastorenderthemplump,andfatforagoodtable.Achildwillmaketwodishesatanentertainmentforfriends,andwhenthefamilydinesalone,theforeorhindquarterwillmakeareasonabledish,andseasonedwithalittlepepperorsalt,willbeverygoodboiledonthefourthday,especiallyinwinter.

Ihavereckoneduponamedium,thatachildjustbornwillweigh12pounds,andinasolaryear,iftolerablynursed,encreasethto28pounds.

Igrantthisfoodwillbesomewhatdear,andthereforeveryproperforlandlords,who,astheyhavealreadydevouredmostoftheparents,seemtohavethebesttitletothechildren.

Infant'sfleshwillbeinseasonthroughouttheyear,butmoreplentifulinMarch,andalittlebeforeandafter;forwearetoldbyagraveauthor,aneminentFrenchphysician,thatfishbeingaprolifickdyet,therearemorechildrenborninRomanCatholickcountriesaboutninemonthsafterLent,themarketswillbemoregluttedthanusual,becausethenumberofPopishinfants,isatleastthreetooneinthiskingdom,andthereforeitwillhaveoneothercollateraladvantage,bylesseningthenumberofPapistsamongus.

Ihavealreadycomputedthechargeofnursingabeggar'schild（inwhichlistIreckonallcottagers,labourers,andfour-fifthsofthefarmers）tobeabouttwoshillingsperannum,ragsincluded;andIbelievenogentlemanwouldrepinetogivetenshillingsforthecarcassofagoodfatchild,which,asIhavesaid,willmakefourdishesofexcellentnutritivemeat,whenhehathonlysomeparticularfriend,orhisownfamilytodinewithhim.Thusthesquirewilllearntobeagoodlandlord,andgrowpopularamonghistenants,themotherwillhaveeightshillingsneatprofit,andbefitforworktillsheproducesanotherchild.

Thosewhoaremorethrifty（asImustconfessthetimesrequire）

mayfleathecarcass;theskinofwhich,artificiallydressed,willmakeadmirableglovesforladies,andsummerbootsforfinegentlemen.

AstoourCityofDublin,shamblesmaybeappointedforthispurpose,inthemostconvenientpartsofit,andbutcherswemaybeassuredwillnotbewanting;althoughIratherrecommendbuyingthechildrenalive,anddressingthemhotfromtheknife,aswedoroastingpigs.

Averyworthyperson,atrueloverofhiscountry,andwhosevirtuesIhighlyesteem,waslatelypleased,indiscoursingonthismatter,toofferarefinementuponmyscheme.Hesaid,thatmanygentlemenofthiskingdom,havingoflatedestroyedtheirdeer,heconceivedthatthewantofvenisonmightbewellsupply'dbythebodiesofyoungladsandmaidens,notexceedingfourteenyearsofage,norundertwelve;sogreatanumberofbothsexesineverycountrybeingnowreadytostarveforwantofworkandservice:

Andthesetobedisposedofbytheirparentsifalive,orotherwisebytheirnearestrelations.Butwithduedeferencetosoexcellentafriend,andsodeservingapatriot,I

cannotbealtogetherinhissentiments;forastothemales,myAmericanacquaintanceassuredmefromfrequentexperience,thattheirfleshwasgenerallytoughandlean,likethatofourschool-boys,bycontinualexercise,andtheirtastedisagreeable,andtofattenthemwouldnotanswerthecharge.Thenastothefemales,itwould,Ithink,withhumblesubmission,bealosstothepublick,becausetheysoonwouldbecomebreedersthemselves:

Andbesides,itisnotimprobablethatsomescrupulouspeoplemightbeapttocensuresuchapractice,（althoughindeedveryunjustly）asalittleborderinguponcruelty,which,Iconfess,hathalwaysbeenwithmethestrongestobjectionagainstanyproject,howwellsoeverintended.

Butinordertojustifymyfriend,heconfessed,thatthisexpedientwasputintohisheadbythefamousSalmanaazor,anativeoftheislandFormosa,whocamefromthencetoLondon,abovetwentyyearsago,andinconversationtoldmyfriend,thatinhiscountry,whenanyyoungpersonhappenedtobeputtodeath,theexecutionersoldthecarcasstopersonsofquality,asaprimedainty;andthat,inhistime,thebodyofaplumpgirloffifteen,